It All Comes Back in Flashes

There's a crack in the frame
But the photo is the same
But I don't recognize the face
It looks a lot like me, or who I used to be

~Danny's P.O.V.~

I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling.
When I lost him,I lost myself too...
I shifted to my side as I spotted a picture of us on my nightstand,tears started to form in my eyes.
How could I ever hurt him?
How could I ever hurt Ben?
The one I loved the most and he's still the one I love the most...
I was convinced,that he will never ever talk to me again,or even just look at me. He hates me and I can't change it.
Then the flashbacks came,to make my guilt grow even more...

~Flashback~

-Danny,please. Let me go. Let me go,please!-He pleaded with tears in his beautiful eyes.
But I won't let him go,I just held his arms in a tight grasp,above his head.
-So,who do you think you are?! Who do you think,who you fucking are?!-I screamed those words into his face.
He just shivered and the tears streamed down on his face...
-I asked you,you filthy whore!!-I screamed once again
Ben's body was shivered,even more,he tried to open his mouth to say something.
-Then,spill it!
-I... I'm... so,sorry... I'm sorry Danny...” He mumbled
-How could you think it's enough? Because it isn't. I don't care about it.-I said in a cold tone,still wouldn't let go of his arms.
-Believe me... I'm so fucking sorry!-He pleaded,my grasp was even tighter on his thin wrists.
-Shut up!-I growled.-Shut the fuck up or I'll break your wrists!-I pushed his wrists with more might at the wall,and pushed him up against the wall.
-Let me go!-He screamed,not in a pleading voice,he screamed it violently and I couldn't lie,I liked it.
-I won't.-I said shortly,smiling at him,with an awful smile.
He closed his eyes and flinched his nose from the pain he felt in his wrists. I just laughed at him,and started to undress him,as I pushed him even more against the wall.
-Dan... Stop it...-He breathed these words,as I nibbled at his nipple.
-I know... I know you like it...-I said,pressing my lips against his skin.
-I don't!-He cried out and tried to get rid of me.
But I won't stop,now I sucked at his nipple,then trailed down on his body,sucking at his skin. He let out a moan.
-See? You can't lie to me. I know how much you like it.
-You are crazy. You are drunk. Leave me alone!
-Do you really think I'm crazy?-I let out a laugh
-Yeah,you are fucking nuts.-He said,as he attempted to get away from me one more time. I grabbed his wrist again and pushed him with his face against the wall. I pulled his head back,by his hair.
He just whimpered,the sound of him and the sight of him made me want him,so bad.
I just looked at him for a moment,sweat dripped down on his body,his mouth was lightly open,he turned me on...
-I want you,Benji...-I whispered in his ear,as I roughly bit at it.
-But I don't,want you...-He said silently,hoping that I didn't heard him,but I did.
-I'll make you want me.-I whispered seductively.
I undressed quickly,then pushed him against the wall,as I realized he tried to slip out of my hands,again.
-You ain't going anywhere!-I yelled at him
Ben shivered again,his knees were shakily.
-Now,get on your knees and be a good little bitch!-I screamed,as I turned him to face me.
He just shook his head.
-Get on your fucking knees,Benjamin!-I yelled,even louder.
Ben just hesitated,I lost my temper,I pulled him down to his knees by grabbing his hair.
He looked up at me,with pleading eyes...
-Don't look at me like this,let's do this!-I said,then pulled his head closer.
He opened his mouth to take a deep breath,while I shoved my manhood in his mouth.
I spanked his butt to will him to suck,but he was frozen.
I slapped him even rougher this time,he whimpered,tears started to flow from his eyes,as he started to suck...
I tugged onto his hair,this way my length was full in his mouth.
He bobbed his head,up and down in a quick pace,while licked my penis,I just moaned from the pleasure,I wanted more,I slapped him again and again,he done it even faster and massaged the base of my penis with his hands. I threw my head back and screamed Ben's name...
I grabbed his butt and suddenly shoved my fingers up in him...
He pulled away and cried out loud,but I covered his mouth with my other hand and started to move my fingers inside him.
I felt his tears fell on my hand,I didn't felt sorry for him at all.
I took my hand away from his mouth,he cried out as soon as he had the chance. I done it faster and deeper,Ben cried from the pain.
Then I pulled my fingers out and pushed myself into him.
-It hurts! Damn you,Danny! It fucking hurts like hell!-He yelled,but I just didn't cared about it.
I thrust so fast and rough,Ben cried and moaned...
-That's just how you like it,you bloody whore!-I growled at him
He whined,then just panted...
I screamed,when I came into him,his muscles twitched as he reached his orgasm. Then,he collapsed to the floor...
I swept his messy,sweaty curls out of his face.
His lovely face was covered in bruises,blood stained his lips. I almost cried,as I looked at him...
-Benji... babe... What I've done to you?!-That was the point where I realized what I've done to him,It was late,too late...
I carried his fragile body to the bedroom,laid him down on the bed,pulled the sheets over his body.
I went out to dress up,then I made some soup for Ben.
When I came back,I set the bowl down on the nightstand.
Ben was still unconscious...
I worried about him,I felt sorry for everything I've done before...
-I'm sorry,Benjamin...-I whispered,as I stroked his swollen face.
-You aren't...-He said,his voice sounded so weak
It surprised me,I thought he was unconscious...
-I am. I'm really sorry for everything.-I said once again
-I don't believe you.
It hurt me... But I deserved nothing but this...
-Now,go home Daniel. This isn't your home. Leave me.-He said with his eyes closed still.
-I will not leave you all alone,like this.
-Leave me fucking alone!-He shouted at me
There was nothing I could do... I went home feeling guilty and worried.