Darling You'll Be Okay

Jaime's POV
I still couldn't get over how amazing and angelic Vic's voice was. I don't know why he was so insecure about it, he sounded amazing. Like beyond amazing. I don'r know, I wouldn't mind him singing me to sleep every night. After Vic and I were laying intertwined for what seems like eternity, I sat up and stared out into the deep blue ocean with Vic wrapped in my arms. I feel so at ease with the world as I held my perfect boyfriend in my hands while having no care in the world. It was the best feeling in the world. Vic had me and I had him. It's just the best feeling to know that nothing right now can go wrong, and this moment couldn't be any more perfect.
"Jaime, have I told you how much I love you?" Vic said as he was now staring into my eyes. I smiled and couldn't help but cup is beautiful face in my hands and kiss Vic's soft, full, pink lips. He's told me a lot since we got together actually, and each time it made me feel so fuzzy on the inside. Oh yeah the kiss. I tried to make this kiss as passionate as I could but I couldn't help but to bite into Vic's luscious lips. I mean come on there right there and teasing me. As I bit down, I could tell that the bite I made Vic groan and was turning him on a bit and at the thought of Vic being turned on made me move my way to his neck which I started to bite and suck. I let out a small giggle and Vic cringed as my breath danced off his neck. I smiled a little I love making him feel like this, and his skin. Oh my gosh Vic's skin was just to soft as I traced his neck with my tongue. I then moved back to his lips and Vic started to trace my lips with my tongue. As Vic and I were about to go tongue to tongue, his phone started to ring. Fucking shit, that's a fucking mood killer. Well isn't this just lovely?
Vic checked his phone and stared at me, looking like he didn't want to tell me.
"What?" I asked. Vic had to take a couple minutes to answer. Seriously what the hell is going on?
"Oh, it's nothing." He said shaking his head. I can tell he's lying.
I groaned. "Doesn't seem like nothing. Come on, you can tell me anything." I said grabbing his hands. "I thought you knew that."
Vic looked up to me and stared into my eyes and nodded. "Fine. it's Allie. She just texted me but don't get worked up about it. It's nothing." He then stared at the ground. I don't know how to feel. Allie is always ruining things. I just want her to stop bothering Vic but then that would mean Vic would have to come out and neither of as was ready for that. I lifted up Vic's head and stared into his eyes, they were full of hurt and sorrow. I really didn't want him to feel bad but then I can't keep acting like this is nothing. It bothers me.
"Vic, I can't say 'It's okay' cause it isn't. It hurts knowing how she can never leave you alone." Vic looked back down. "I think it's starting to be a problem. Seriously the girl can't leave you alone."
"Jaime, please don't be angry. I don't mean for Allie to text me 24/7. Allie means nothing to me. Believe me." He looked up his eyes started to fill with regret.
"Vic, I love you too but you seriously just can't keep going on with this, you can't pretend to like her because you don't. She won't leave you alone and it's scary."
"I know I know," He mumbled. "It kills me to know I'm not being honest."
"Come on, let's go back and sit down and forget about Allie." I took to his hand and guided him to the blankets we have laid out. I sat down first and Vic sat down but then made himself comfortable by laying down on my lap.
Vic grabbed some recess pieces and popped on into my mouth. "Jaime, whatever I say to you, I know I say it a lot but I do mean it. You have always been the one for me. Since day one I could tell it's been you along."
I chewed it and said "Vic, you mean the world to me. I would lost without the love of my life." I said as I started to feed Vic some gummy worms. I pulled Vic in for a kiss. "I love you." I said though pecks. I then pulled Vic in for a deeper kiss. Vic started to run his fingers through my hair and started to slide his tongue inside my mouth while I did the same. Oh this feels nice. I began to run my fingers through Vic's hair and started to move my lips down to Vic's neck, and started to kiss his neck and leave bite mark which made Vic grip my hair harder. He let out a small whimper as I smiled. I moved my lips back to his and then bit onto them. Vic started to trace my lips with his tongue. Vic was about to move his lips down to my neck when we heard his phone going off once again. You got to be fucking kidding me! Vic then pulled away from our embraced lips and groaned and looked at his phone and quickly shoved his phone in his pocket.
"What was that about?" I asked raising my eyebrow.
"Oh, uhm, n-nothing." He looked at the ground and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Wanna do homework?" Vic mumbled the last words he said. Why is he trying to avoid the question?
"Vic please tell me. Was it Allie again?" I pulled Vic closer to me as I held him. "Please?"
Vic sighed and said "Yeah it was Allie." After he said that, his phone chimed which meant that he had received a text, Vic smothered his face with his hands and shook his head, I could tell he wanted her to stop. It was making me irritated that Allie was obsessively texting my Vic. I know he's perfect but leave him alone he's mines for a reason. At least Vic's ignoring her, right? Yeah that's good. But you know what really sucks? You know whats really pushing my buttons and making me want to pull my fucking hair off of my head?! In about the next five minutes or so, his phone had chimed about three times and rang twice, all texts and calls were from you guessed it Allie. I scoffed and rolled my eyes. She was starting to annoy me. Who just texts and calls someone that much? It isn't normal like what the hell man?! I looked at Vic and he had despair in his eyes. I could tell he really wanted her to stop. And I really wanted her to stop. She's really lucky I don't have a vagina, I'm pretty sure if I did have a vagina I would fucking end her, seriously I don't want to sound mean or anything but this bitch is driving me up a wall.
"Maybe we should do homework." I said as I looked into Vic's eyes. I wanted to take his pain and being annyoed with her away. What better way than boring homework? Vic nodded and got up and grabbed my hand to guide me to his car so we could get our backpacks. While we were walking toward his car we heard his phone go off again and Vic just rolled his eyes and sighed. I know I don't like Allie but with her calling and texting Vic, it's making me not like her even more and making me more annoyed with this whole situation.
"Wanna start on the forensics homework?" I could tell Vic was trying to forget that Allie was repeatedly calling and texting him.
"Sure." I said with a smile while I grabbed Vic's waist and kissed his neck. I could tell Vic smiled which was a good thing. Vic grabbed my backpack and handed it to me and I let go of his waist and took his hand and we made our way back to where we had set up our things. We sat down and got our forensic binder and got out the packet
had gave us to work on. As I was flipping through our notes to find the answers we heard Vic's phone go off again. Ugh seriously. I let out a small groan that I'm pretty sure Vic just heard right now. Seriously can I really just fucking push this bitch off in Narnia or some strange shit like that where no one will find her?
"Jaime, I'm sorry. Allie is ruining our time together." Vic shook his head again. I got repissed because I want Vic and I to be together, uninterrupted but Allie continues to bother us. Is it to late to actually consider sending her to Narnia or?
"Vic, I love you but Allie keeps being persistent about talking to you." I then looked toward the water. I noticed the sun was starting to set. It actually calmed me down on sending this bitch to Narnia. Ahh okay just enjoy what you can with Vic, that's it just enjoy it. We stared at the sunset for a little bit then Vic's phone went off again. Ugh I can't take this anymore!
"You know what Vic, can you just take me home?" I said as I packed up my backpack and stuff. "I just really can't do this with Allie, I'm sorry about this but she really just sort of ruined everything.
"Jaime no look I'm sorry but-"
"Vic just take me home please?!" I hissed and nibbled at my tongue. Fuck did I just snap at him for the first time in this whole time I've known him? Well I feel like an asshole.
"Uhh well alright, if that's what you want." I heard him sniffle as he walked over to the blankets and all the food we have, wrapping it up and throwing them in the trunk before he walked over to the drivers seat without a single word. Great.
"I'm sorry I have to ruin everything." He mumbled as he started to drive down the hill. "I''m really really sorry Jaime."
I don't mean for him to feel like this, I'm just mad at Allie. What the heck did I do? I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, I really really didn't. I feel so bad. But of course like an asshole I just nodded. Not saying anything. I saw Vic let out a small sigh form the corner of my eye. I groaned a little as I looked out the window as Vic jumped onto the freeway. I'm such a crappy boyfriend. Vic was just trying to do something nice for us and I let Allie ruin everything. It isn't his fault it's mines. I over reacted way to much. Well no not really who really calls and texts someone that much?! Holly fucking shit is she insane? Ugh, well whatever. I glanced at Vic for a moment who seemed a little bit to pissed for my sorry. I really don't blame him, I'd be mad too if he was being a dick head. Yeah, I really was being a dick head huh? Fuck.
"Vic baby, I'm sorry." I mumbled.
"Mhm yeah."
I rolled my eyes. "Damn it Vic will you just listen to me for one god damn second?!"
"Nope." He hissed as he continued to pay attention to the road.
"Come on Vic," I groaned. "I'm sorry I snapped and ruined everything."
"Uh yeah, okay."
I threw my head back, can I just fucking punch a brick wall and shatter into a million fucking useless pieces?! "Fine whatever." I mumbled. "You know what Vic fuck you."
"Ha ha ha ha, yeah alright Jaime. Yeah fuck me. You know what fuck you." He rolled his eyes.
"If you would just take my sorry." I mumbled.
"Sorry? You expect me to accept your sorry? After that childish thing and how you ruined everything?! No I'm not going to accept your I'm sorry. It's just bull shit Jaime. It's all fucking bull shit."
"Oh okay I'm fucking sorry that everything I say is bull shit. You know what I'm sorry that I'm bull shit."
"I was just trying to do something nice for my boyfriend. I was just trying to do something nice for you okay? That's all I was trying to do. But out of everyone that I think would very much enjoy my attempt on something it would be you. Well I thought it would be. I was wrong. I thought you were more understanding on the Allie thing, but I was wrong. I guess you aren't understanding and the most inconsiderate asshole ever! Do you know how fucking fantastic this feels?! This just feels so fucking great that you're an inconsiderate asshole." I looked up at him to see tears streaming down his face. Did I just really make him cry? Fuck me why?
"Vic," I leaned in.
"No Jaime don't you dare fucking touch me!" Vic yelled threw his tears that were much louder now. He managed to gasp out a sob like breath. Oh shit.
"Fuck Vic pull over and let me drive, you're having an anxiety attack."
"Jaime.I'm.Fine." He spat out.
"No you're not just let me drive while you relax please?"
"Jaime I told you I was fucking fine!" He snapped at me threw some heavy breathing and tears.
"For fuck sakes Vic pull over and let me drive!"
"You fucking yelling at me isn't fucking helping anything!" He gasped.
"Vic." I whispered more quiet than I would have. "Can you just please pull over? You need to relax."
He sat there staring at the road crying and shaking. After a moment however, he nodded and started switching lanes. Once he got to the side of the freeway he turned off the car and stared out the window. His eyes looked super glossy? He quickly unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door. I did the same and got out of the car, quickly jogging to the drivers side. We both got in and sat down. I looked at him as he brought his knees to his chest, breathing in and out, trying the best he can to calm down I'm assuming.
"Vic I'm so-"
"I don't need your sorry right now okay? Just please take me home."
I looked down hurt to be honest. I hate the fact that I've hurt him this much. All I'm suppose to do is make him happy and I just gave him anxiety. Wow aren't I really a bitch? Wore boyfriend award goes to; Jaime Preciado. Yippie! I shook my head and put the gear shift into drive. I quickly got back onto the rode. I looked over at Vic who was just sitting there crying. His big brown iris colored eyes were filled with a glossy red tint from all the crying I have caused. His cheeks were a bright red and he was shaking. I looked back onto the road, not wanting to look at him. He took out his phone and began scrolling threw it. He pushed something and put the phone to his ear.
"Hi mama." He said after a moment. "Yeah sorry I just got your text. Yes everything is fine I suppose. Jaime and I just went somewhere to hang out for a little. Yeah we're on our way home so I'll see you around seven-ish I think. Alright mom bye I love you too."
After he hung up I let out big dramatic sigh. '
"Vic can we at least talk about this?"
"I don't want to." He muttered under his breath.
I rolled my eyes. "You're acting like a little kid."
"Hey that's cool." He sarcastically said.
"Fine I'll talk and you listen. I'm sorry okay? I just don't like the fact that little time we magically get to be alone, that little time and that's all I have a girl who likes you keeps bugging you like crazy. Messing up my time with you. And I didn't mean to snap at you, but you're my boyfriend. You're MY boyfriend. Not hers, mines. And I'm just sorry." I quickly glanced at him as he let out a small sigh, still not saying a word he looked out the window, slightly rubbing his temples."
"Fine." I mumbled and looked back onto the road.
After a long and dead silent forty five minuets I pulled into Vic's drive way. I slightly twisted the key and the car shut off. I leaned back into the seat. Tired, hungry, and mad. I took the keys out of the ignition with groan and got out. I shut the door and he got out as well. Once I heard him shut his door after me I turned to him. I gently placed his keys on the hood of his car.
"Goodnight." I mumbled, turning around and started to walk away.
Even though it killed me not to look back, I just couldn't. His face looked so emotionless. It was just heart breaking to me that I did that to him. He is right, I'm just an asshole. Nothing but an asshole and the worst boyfriend ever. I looked up and saw that I was slightly passing my house. I jumped into my driveway and saw both of my parents cars were here. Great just fucking great the best way to end the night. I began walking up to my door and I took out my keys from the front pocket of my jeans. I put the key inside the lock and twisted it and it opened. Sort of like magic. Haha magic would be so cool. I lightly smiled as I closed the door behind me locking it.
"Jaime where the hell have you been?!" My mom yelled as she got off the couch. Jesus christ not again.
"Homework, I was doing homework with Vic." I mumbled.
"You couldn't let your father or me know?"
"Not really it's not like you guys really give a flying fuck anyways so."
"Excuse me?! What did you just say?"
I rolled my eyes. "It. Is . NOT. Like. You. Guys. Give. A. Flying. Fuck. Anyways. So." I said very slowly so she could fully understand me because I guess I said something wrong in there for her not to fully understand.
"Don't talk to me like that Jaime!" She snapped.
"Whatever, I'm going to my room I don't need this fucking bull shit." I mumbled as I headed towards the stair case towards my room.
"Get back here we aren't done talking!" My mom yelled.
"Yes we are, good fucking night MOM!" I yelled back as I entered my room, slamming the door shut behind me, locking it.
I turned the switch to see my room light up. I sighed as I turned around. I took off my pants, really to lazy to put on sweats and flopped down onto my bed. Today wasn't really my day, was it? My boyfriend even hates me. The only good thing in my life hates me. Wow. I sighed turning onto my side as I pulled over the covers. I let the sleep consume me and honestly it couldn't go better. Just me and sleep.
-
Vic's POV
I walked into my house, angry, sad, mostly angry. I walked inside to the living room to see only my mom and dad snuggled up onto the couch.
"Hey Vic how was your day?"
"Good." I faked a smile as I walked over to the couch kissing the top of their heads.
"You look tired mijo." My mom mumbled as she placed her hand on my cheek.
I nodded. "Yeah, lots of homework and a really long day at school and practice. Not the very best day. So I'm just going to head up to my room okay?"
"We'll be down here if you need anything okay?" My dad looked at my mom, kissing her cheek as she looked down blushing.
"I'll be sure to come down. Most likely goodnight." I waved my adorable parents off as I walked upstairs to my room. I opened my door and quietly closed it. I locked it and quickly undressed and changed into some p'js. Once I was done I sat on my bed quietly. I looked at the wall.
'You're so ugly, you're so fat, you're so imperfect, this is why Jaime won't ever love you. Who are you kidding? Why would Jaime love you? You're just a fucked up suicidal freak. Yeah remember all your scars? I know you want to add more tonight. Come on just do it, you know it feels good. You know cutting up your skin and watching your wrist bleed is the thing you do best. Why do you even try to pretend you're happy? You know you're not. Come on Vic go pick up that blade, go on ahead. It's just in your closet in your box that you locked away. You remember that right? Go on and go get that blade and skip it slowly and slowly across your skin till your blue blood inside you comes out red. Come on, do it. Remember you aren't happy and you want that blade. Go on. Do it.' My mind kept telling me.
I snapped my head up in the general direction of my closet. I looked down at my wrist to see ghostly scars all over my arm. I nibbled at my lips and looked back down at my arm. Who am I kidding? I need it, I need it. I slowly got up, my knees began to shake. I slowly walked over to my closet and began to slid the door open. I began to rumbled threw the top shelf and I looked up to the corner to see my box. I let out a shaky breath and reached up for it. Once I grabbed it my hands started trembling. I glanced over at my door to make sure it was locked (And it was) I sat back on my bed and sat the box on my lap. I stared at it for a long time. I looked up and shut my eyes really hard. Once I opened them I looked down and slowly took out the top of this box that seems to control my mind. I looked down to see six blades that I had. Oh beautiful, beautiful blades. I picked one up and held it in between my now trembling fingers. I put the blade to my arm and I felt my face getting more wet. Am I really crying?
'Go on do it. What's the hold up?' My mind said.
I nodded and pushed the blade deeply into my arm, dragging it harshly across my skin. I bit my bottom lips so no noise could escape from me. Once I was done with one cut I sighed. I repeated the process about twenty more times. I threw the blade back in my box, sobbing hard and kicked the box under my bed. I formed into a ball on my bed and cried possibly the hardest I cried. My arm was bleeding and my boyfriend hates me. I stayed like this until sure enough I feel asleep.
Crying myself to sleep with bleeding wrist is the best way to fall asleep.