Suffering Builds Character

She vaguely remembered the ride back to the old warehouse, not that she could see anything but the seat she was lying pitifully on. She heard some kind of music quietly echoing out of the speakers. She remembered the car stopping, and Barsad pulling her out of the back seat and out onto the ground, holding her steady on her feet. She remembered walking but had no recollection of what direction she was going. Everything had already shut down at that point.
Sidonie woke up alone. She didn't remember falling asleep. She only remembered her feet against the dirt and gravel of the warehouse lot. She sat up slowly, taking in her surroundings, and found herself in a small room, makeshift walls set up around her and a curtain in place of a door. She had been lying in an old cot, she realized after sitting up. It was dark in the small space, and she was thankful for that. Her head was killing her, and any bright light would have just made the throbbing even worse.
She was debating whether or not to get up and leave the room, but her decision was interrupted when the curtain was pulled back and someone entered the room. It was Barsad, and the look on his face held a strong hint of worry. He stopped walking when he realized she was sitting up and looking at him.
"Are you feeling all right?" he asked quietly from his place just in front of the door way. It took her a moment to respond.
"I, um... I'm sorry. For earlier," she said, her voice rough. Barsad spared the smallest of smiles.
"There is no need to apologise, Sidonie. I'm glad you are awake, I was hoping we could talk, if you feel you can," he said, venturing further into the room. She gave him a hesitant nod and moved over to make room for him on the cot. He sat down beside her and watched her carefully during the silence that hung between them. "Bane had sent me to watch you, after you left. If you were that miserable, why didn't you try to come back?" he asked. She let out a small sigh.
"Because there's something wrong with me," she started weakly. "After everything I've been through, that sense of hope was suffocating me. There hasn't been a moment in my life where I could have trusted that hope, and the offer Bane gave me was all it took. You should never have saved me from those men, Barsad. You should have just left it alone," she explained. Barsad couldn't find words right away, and he could only sit and stare at the girl.
"We may not be good men, Sidonie, but I could not stand by while you suffered at their hands. Look, get yourself cleaned up, take all the time you need. Once you feel better, Bane would like to meet with you," he said, standing up and pulling the girl up with him.
She took a few days to herself, trying to build some sort of stability back in her mind before she went and met with anyone. When she finally felt well enough, she braved the world outside of the little room. She moved through the warehouse cautiously, steering clear of anyone she didn't recognize. Once past the set up of all the makeshift rooms, she found an open work area scattered with men, tables, papers, and equipment. She spotted the familiar wall of a man standing over one of the tables, his hands braced against the edge with Barsad on the other side. It took her a long moment to force her feet to move toward the two men, and when she did, she wouldn't look at either of them. She stopped a few feet away from the table, her posture uncertain as she felt two pairs of eyes turn toward her.
Bane released the edge of the table and stood up straight as he turned to face her. "A few days of privacy have done you well, Sidonie," the masked man exclaimed in the ever present tone of amusement. She chanced a glance up at him, meeting the same hard eyes she remembered. He turned his head to Barsad, then. "If you will excuse us," he said, and Barsad took his leave obediently. "Come here," Bane said, his gaze back on the girl. She did as he asked, and forced herself into Barsad's previous position.
"I needed a few days," she said quietly, wrapping her arms even tighter around her ribs.
"And you were given them," the mechanized voice sounded as he nodded his head. "You are aware you no longer have the choice to leave, yes?"
"I know." Bane watched at her thoughtfully for a moment before speaking again.
"Come with me," he said, walking past the girl. She stared dumbly after him for a moment, but then jogged to catch up to the man. They walked quietly through the building before Bane pushed a door open and led her outside. She squinted against the light as she stepped outside, the chill of winter meeting her skin through the fabric of the ratty old sweater she had on. Once they stopped walking, Sido looked up at the masked man expectantly.
"You tried to find a way out," he stated, looking down at her. There was no question in his voice or face. The girl was caught off guard at his directness. She could only manage a small nod. "Why?" he asked. There was no concern in his voice, no worry. It was just a simple question. After a long moment, she turned her eyes hesitantly up to his face.
"I couldn't try anymore. Not with that kind of hope clouding my mind," she said, trying to make her voice stronger than she felt.
"I offered you shelter, and you declined. You would rather have died than accept a place to call home," Bane noted, watching her carefully for her reaction. For a split second, her blue eyes narrowed into a glare at the man.
"I had my reasons," she said steadily. Bane could almost feel her defense taking over.
"Your reasons provoked you to choose death over a better life?" he prodded.
"Yes, actually. But I don't need to discuss those reasons with someone I don't even know," she said sharply.
"I'm not asking you to tell me anything, Sidonie. Your reasons are your own. I understand you have no reason to trust me or any of my men, but there was no need for you to suffer through-"
"That's the point, Bane," she interrupted rather bravely. "If you had the slightest idea of what I've been through, you wouldn't be standing here trying to make sense of what's left of my mind, and why I have no reason to trust you people," she snapped.
"I know you have suffered. It is no secret, especially to someone who knows despair as you do. Suffering builds character. There's no point in wallowing in your past. You must accept it, and grow from it. In the end, you will be stronger. You can be angry with me all you want to, and it is obvious in your face that you are, but keep my words in mind. You are not going to get anywhere if you continue on your path of self destruction, so you might as well begin sorting out your problems now," Bane explained sternly.
His words were only making Sidonie more and more furious as his robotic voice invaded her ears. Why, she didn't know, but she found herself shooting a thick glare at the masked man. She said nothing more, but turned on her heel and stomped back inside to lock herself away in her little room. All the way back, she was fuming. How could that man have such nerve? He didn't know her despair. He didn't know anything. But as she marched, a tiny voice in the back of her mind, a voice no more than a whisper, was saying something entirely different. That little whisper wormed its way through the buzzing in her mind. He was right. She needed to get her shit together if she was going to do anything. Throwing herself face first onto her cot, she dozed off knowing it was going to be the hardest thing she ever did.