So Much for My Happy Ending

"So you kissed him, or did he kiss you? I'm confused." Elise spoke, voice grainy through the phone. I bit my lip and puffed out a breath of air.

"It was kind of, uh, mutual I guess. Mutual kissing. It was all very... mutual." I trailed off awkwardly. It grew quiet, a severe awkward silence progressed. Whether it was from how awkward I was being, or if she was being an awkward turtle trying to process.

Right after Jimmy had left, with his last words being 'I'm sorry' I panicked and the first person I had thought to call was Elise. I don't know why I thought of her over my cousins, but I had. In the end, I was glad I'd called her. She was less likely to freak, I'd assumed at least.

My assumptions aren't usually as accurate as it seemed to be this time.

"And then he just left?" She eventually spoke, her voice filled with surprise and curiosity.

I nodded, "Yes, he just left. He left after kissing me and how am I supposed to take that. You don't leave a girl hanging after you kiss her." I took a deep breath, "It should be an unspoken rule! You could spare so much heartache and confusion and... and... Ugh!" I gripped one of my pillows tightly in my fist and threw it across the room.

I cursed at my stupidity once it hit its mark. An antique berserker head that I'd gotten on a trip to Mexico. It had a snake crawling out of its mouth and the second I had seen the thing, I knew I had to have it. I snapped up in preparation of the crash. It toppled off the edge of my boudoir. It hit the floor cracking down the middle. I let out frustrated sigh.

This is just great.

"What the hell did you just do?" Elise asked in amusement.

"Well, I certainly didn't break anything if that's what you were thinking." I said sarcastically.

"Cut the shit, Megs," she snapped.

I absentmindedly rubbed at my eyes, one of the many signs of my distress, and clucked my tongue twice, "My berserker head fell."

"Good, that thing was creepy." I rolled my eyes. "Is it un-salvageable?" She asked me. The question was followed by the rustling of paper, "I can't find my Bio homework."

"It will survive if I superglue it."

At least I hoped it would.

~

The conclusion of Gone Girl was the only sound that filled the quiet room. Shadows danced along the wall, headlights shining from the cars that passed by. You could hear the hum of the static that played from the televisions box. It was a constant in the room that steadied my wobbly anxiety that threatened to explode with each passing second.

Mom carded her hand slowly through my hair, my eyes drooped with each pass. My inner child loved the attention my mom was providing me. A sense of longing filling me for my dad to be the one doing it. Images flitted through my mind of times when my dad would just hold me and mom would just sing softly, dad joining in when they sensed I would soon succumb to sleep.

A bittersweet smile graced my lips. I missed those days.

Everything had been so much more simple.

~

"Are you going to talk to him?" Elise chunked a piece of popcorn at my face. I turned my head quickly and caught it. She glared at me and childishly stuck her tongue out at me.

"I don't know... Maybe." I shrugged my shoulder, unsure of what to say. Of what she wanted me to say.

I probably needed to speak with him, to clarify just what exactly that was. If he meant to do it, or if it was a heat of the moment--spontaneous kiss. Those things happened, didn't they?

"You should talk to him. I think, you need to." She told me softly. I nodded my head, agreeing without using my voice. "Don't nod, use your words Meagan." She poked my side. A squeak escapes my lips causing Elise to laugh. "God, you're so ticklish."

"It's not my tickle spot Elise. It's a hot spot." I said slowly. She rolls her eyes in annoyance and makes a funny noise in the back of her throat. "The hell was that?"

"I'm a dinosaur." She curls three fingers up and sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, proudly showing off her top teeth and then promptly screeches. I cringe at how loud it was.

"Thanks for that." I grunt.

"Anytime."

~

Listening to the boys, and by boys I mean Five Finger Death Punch, go into the studio to create their new album is fun. They get so focused and Jeremy will do something that disrupts the seriousness of the situation. Ivan promptly flips the fuck out and Zoltan mediates the situation. It hasn't failed to stop amusing me. It's a process that gets repeated over and over and over.

Jeremy is like a kid on his first trip to Disney World. He can stay calm for too long.

Throughout this mess, they've managed to dole out some bad ass tunes. Take Jekyll And Hyde for example. They'd recorded that and now it was hitting the charts like the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao boxing match. If you haven't heard it... I suggest you look it up.

Jason had volunteered to bring me to my rehab appointments and I was thankful for it. I wasn't ready to face a situation with Jimmy; as cowardly as that made me. Jimmy was my designated rehab driver. This week, it was the lovely Jason Hook.

Due to my dad being in Rehab-he'd been moved to Willow Hills a few days ago- Avenged Sevenfold wouldn't be creating a new album anytime soon. Being with Ivan and the others was like a breath of fresh air; something I'd missed dearly. I could only hope that dad would pull through and throw out some kick ass tunes in the process.

Nikki Sixx did so much when he was high and when he was a recovering addict.

~

"So why are you avoiding him?" Jason asked me softly, eyes searching mine.

Why did it always come back to this?

"Who says I'm avoiding Jimmy?" I stuttered out in between the pain of stretching.

"The fact that you said Jimmy when I hadn't even said his name." He draws out the vowels in 'name.' I twitch and try not to show how uncomfortable I truly was. "So, why are you avoiding him?"

"I'm not!" I pant harshly as I bend my leg at an angle that stretches the tendons in my thigh to a painful degree. "I just, I got tired of seeing his face everyday."

"So why didn't you ask one of your other Uncles?" He asks me carefully; it's almost like he's treading carefully behind enemy lines. At any moment, they'll discover that you've invaded and take you out.

"Jimmy isn't my uncle." I hiss angrily, "He isn't! Can't you just take the fact that I wanted to hang out with you for once?" I pause and add, "I haven't seen you all as much since you've been working on the new album."

"Sure thing kid. You keep telling yourself that." He shakes his head and laughs.