For My Sake

“This is great,” Vera praised when she took the two, very full backpacks from my hands. She knelt down, unzipped one of the bags, and started putting water bottles on the shelves.

“We'll make another run in an hour. This storm is the best break we've had.”

I simply nodded, leaning back against the service counter as she stacked. The echo of a girl's scream played in my mind over and over again like a broken record. Broken images of her running through the parking lot, her shouting for the walkers to get away flashed before my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose, pushing my fingers against my closed eyes until I saw purple dots in an attempt to erase the memories. The look on Penelope's face as she tried to explain why she shot a living person in the head.

My hand started to shake.

A glint of silver caught my eye, but I couldn't bring myself to look at the band on my finger. It seemed more like a curse every second than it did a blessing to have it back, to have our relationship fixed. Not that it really was anymore.

How can I fix this?

“Charlie?” Vera's voice punched me out of my thoughts.

Shaking my head clear, I sent her a wary smile.

“Are you okay?” She asked, straightening her legs and taking a few small steps towards me.
“Fine,” I reassured. “I- I'm going to go... check on the kids.”

Her brows furrowed, but she didn't object.

I all but ran to the lobby, spotting Rory standing stock still near the fountain. A small smile twitched at my lips. “Hey kid,” I greeted when I was only a few steps behind him. He didn't say a word, he stared ahead, his face stark white. “Rory?”

I followed his line of vision and froze. No... “Run,” I whispered, then yelled, “Run, Goddammit! Get Vlad, hide in the RV.”

It took him a minute, but then he was off.

“Shit,” I declared and sprinted to the RV, ripping open the compartment outside the vehicle. I grabbed my crossbow, strapping the arrows to my back, my baseball bat, and a handgun.

“Charlie, what are you -?”

“Dan! They've gotten in, get the others.” Before he could say anything, I was off again. In the distance, I could hear everyone shouting at each other, but I ignored it. Aiming my crossbow, I struck the first walker between the eyes.

How did this happen?!

Vera was suddenly next to me, firing her silenced pistol. When the pack had thinned a bit, she pulled out her sword. “Cover me,” was all she said before she ran forward, swinging away at the heads of the dead.

“What the hell happened?” Madelyn shouted, running in front of me and firing her shot gun. Pumped it and fired again.

“I don't know.”

“Penelope is scouting ahead. Trying to find the breech. God, I hope there aren't too many.”

“Are the kids safe?”

“Dan is with them in the RV. If this is the only place they're getting in... yes.”

I could only hope that yes, this was the only place. The sickening crunch of steel against bone signified the owning of the last walker. Vera looked back at us, nodded, and took off.

“What do we do now?” Madelyn murmured, her eyes following the retreating form of Vera.

“Go back to the lobby, help Dan with the children. Call me on the walkie if anything goes wrong.”

She nodded and ran back. All I could do was follow after Vera.

I heard them before I saw anything. The angry groans and gurgles of the dead as Vera sliced at them with her sword. I aimed my cross bow and killed the ones that threatened her ability to kill without endangering herself.

“Where are they getting in?” I shouted.

“Penelope is ahead. She says they pushed through a barricade somehow.”

“Why is she alone?” I all but screamed at her.

Her eyes met mine for a second, but she didn't say anything. She didn't have an answer to my question. Hell, Penelope probably didn't either. We got through the ones in this hall and made our way to the corner, finding what Penelope must have called the break in the barricade.

Well, it was definitely a break. More like an explosion. What the hell?

I stepped out of the huge hole in the wall, making sure it was clear before crouching down to examine the breech. Running my finger along the edge, I looked at the black soot now coating the tip of it. Vera knelt next to me, her brows furrowed.

She held up a piece if wire in the shape of a ring. “This was caused by a grenade.”

I looked at her in disbelief. “We would have heard the thing explode.”

“Not if they muffled it.”

“They? Who the hell would want to blow up the mall and how did they get their hands on a grenade?”

“Military survivors?” She suggested. “We can't put anything past people these days.”

Didn't I know that.

“But why the mall? This doesn't make sense.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but just then Penelope rounded the corner from outside the mall, out of breath. Fresh blood covered her chest and splattered her jeans, the rotting smell of it ambushing my nose. “There's a horde of them coming through the parking lot. I've never seen so many in my life. We need to get this blocked or we're screwed.”

We didn't have anything to block this giant hole in the wall. This is exactly what we fucking needed. A horde of walkers on top of people throwing grenades at our camp.

“We can use this car,” Vera said. “Charlie come help me.”

I ran out to help her push a blue Saturn up to the wall. Well, it definitely did the trick for now.
“Charlie and Penelope, go up to the roof. Watch the horde. If they start coming towards our weak areas, shoot them. Otherwise, stay quiet and avoid attacking. Maybe they'll pass right by us.”

I nodded, already making my way towards the white door I had become too familiar with in the past few weeks. I didn't exactly want to be up there again so soon, especially with Penelope, but Vera was right. We had to make sure those things stayed a safe distances from us.

I crouched down on the roof, sweeping the parking lot for any signs of entrance. So far, it looked like we were safe. The walkers were at least twenty feet from the mall, but I could see what Penelope meant by horde. There were thousands of them.

“My god,” Penelope murmured beside me, resting her sniper rifle on the ledge of the roof and peering through the scope. “There's more of them coming from the woods across the Highway. I can't tell where they start... or end.”

“Jesus,” I muttered under my breath.

“What's drawing them?” She whispered to herself, moving over to another side of the building and looking through her scope. I watched as her brows furrowed. She lowered the sniper and then brought it back up to her eye in a double take. I saw her eyes widen just as she threw herself to the floor. A bullet zipped past. I ducked.

“What the fuck?” I shouted as guns started to go off.

“There's a group down there, a couple of them wearing military equipment. They must have been the ones who blew up the wall!”

I don't know how she knew that, we didn't say anything to her about it. But I erased that from my mind. “We have to alert the others. Crawl to me.”

She nodded and did so, ever so slowly in an army crawl.

As she moved to safety, I pulled out my walkie talkie, pressing it close to my lips. “Madelyn, we have a problem.”

“Charlie? What's going on? What's that noise?”

“We are under attack. Get Vera, protect the kids. We're on our way.”

“Shit, Charlie,” she cursed.

Penelope looked at me with the most unreadable expression in her eyes. “We have to defend this place,” she shouted over the sound of bullets. “It's all we have.”

“Right now, I'm more worried about my people being alive.”

“They may not be if we don't fight back.”

I looked away, knowing she was right and I hated it. Why were they attacking us? What did they want?

Penelope's sharp yelp startled me, followed by a string of curses. Blood oozed from her calf where the bullet had grazed her. I grabbed her wrist and made our escape.

I pounded on the RV door, Dan throwing it open.

“What the hell is going on out there? What happened to Penelope?” Dan exasperated, helping me sit Penelope on the table.

“People are attacking us.” I ripped Penelope's pant leg open, blood smearing onto my hands.
“They want our supplies,” Penelope ground out between gritted teeth.

“How do you know that?” Vera inquired from the counter where she sat.

“Isn't it as good a guess as any?” Penelope barked back.

“Is negotiating possible?” Dan asked.

“That's what I'm aiming for,” I agreed, wrapping up Penelope's leg tight with white cloth.
“That shot me!” She exclaimed.

“They shot at all of us,” I corrected, jaw clenched in growing irritation. “And as far as I can tell, the bullet only grazed you.”

She ignored my jibe at her and rebutted my statement. “Which means we shouldn't negotiate, Charlie. We need to defend this place.”

I stood up in outrage, eyes narrowed in on her. “I'm not raising my gun to the head of a person until I am certain all options are out of the question.”

She flinched back as if my words had reached out and slapped her. But then her jaw set and she stood, as if to challenge me. Her nostrils flared as she growled out, “I'm trying to protect our people just as much as you are.”

“Your ways are rash and corrupted.”

“This is corrupted!” She shouted back, everyone in the RV looking at her in surprise. “Am I the only who sees that?”

“The world is corrupted,” Vera agreed, stepping forward and out of the shadows. “But that doesn't mean we have to be.”

Penelope turned her anger onto Vera like a child who's toy had been taken away. “This world calls for shitty decisions to be made. I'm the only who seems to realize that.” She jabbed a finger into Vera's chest. “We wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't insisted on coming here!”

“We wouldn't be alive if I hadn't,” Vera spoke in a dangerously calm tone, staring Penelope down with her midnight eyes. “We have supplies, shelter, food, beds, and warmth.”

“We had that before you. As far as I'm concerned, you're the reason we have to do this.”
“You're the only one that thinks that,” I interjected.

Penelope turned to me, appalled at my declaration. “So... even you don't have my back?”

“I didn't the moment you pulled the trigger on the roof.”

She flinched, looking away.

Dan stepped forward, his wise face etched in confusion and worry. “Charlie... what are you talking about?”

“Don't Charlie,” Penelope pleaded.

My jaw twitched. “She killed a girl who need our help.”

Penelope crossed her arms loosely over her stomach, looking at her feet, unable to meet the gaze of anyone. She swallowed hard. “She would have died before we got to her.”

“You didn't try!” I screamed at her, everyone jumping at my outburst. “We could have saved her, but now we have to deal with this shit!”

A moment of silence passed. “You think that is the reason these people attacked us?” Vera asked calmly.

It hadn't occurred to me until I said it, but now that the words hung in the air, the possibility made so much sense. “Yes,” I growled. “It's my best guess right now.”

“You're blaming me?” Penelope practically whined, although hurt.

My chest squeezed despite the rage rushing through my veins. “At the moment... yes.” I hated how true that statement was, but it had to be said. Her actions may have caused us everything.

Penelope's lashes lowered and she took a step back. One of her hands covered her mouth, as if to hold something in. Her body collapsed into the booth behind her.

I turned to Vera. “We need to talk to these people. Explain ourselves, make a deal if we have to.”

“How will we get close enough to speak without being shot?”

“We wave the white flag.”

*****************

With a dirty, white tee shirt tied to my baseball bat, we left the mall the next day. The flag blew with the sharp wind left over from last night's storm. Vera accompanied me, the rest stayed at the camp in case something went wrong.

“You think this will work?” Vera asked me, her Russian accent clipped.

“It has to,” I spared her a fleeting glance. She was already staring at me intently. “The last thing we need is a war amongst the living.”

“There wouldn't be much of a fight,” Vera murmured matter-of-factly.

“Don't underestimate our group,” I snapped.

“Don't underestimate theirs,” she rebutted. “They have military equipment and trained soldiers.”

“So do we. Before the outbreak, Penelope was a Marine sniper, one of the best. Dan is a vet, but he is still very skilled. We have you and well... don't misjudge the doctor. We can surprise you.”

Vera sported a half hearted smile. “I can only hope that is enough if this plan goes wrong.”

I looked at her. “I have a back up plan.”

One of her brows rose in question, but I refused to say more on the subject.
We moved through the parking lot with ease, surprised at the minimal amount of walkers. Wouldn't the sound of guns have drawn them in?”

Finally, we reached the border of the woods. Glancing at each other, we continued on. Penelope had said she saw most of them in the far right area of the woods before she ducked for cover. Their camp had to be near by if they were going to safely retreat after basically ringing a dinner bell for the dead. But... where were the rotting creatures?

That question was answered a few minutes later. Vera's arm stretched out to stop me from moving forward, her face an unreadable mask. My mouth dropped open in disgust behind my skull bandana. Jesus Christ.

All around us, the dead lay on the forest floor in heaps, their brains stabbed or scattered – depending on how they died. Tall, wooden stakes held the bodies of still live walkers, their raspy moans causing shivers to run down my spine. Bile rose in my throat, but I swallowed it.
“Here they are,” I drily humored.

“What kind of people are we dealing with?” Vera voiced, appalled. Her brows furrowed in confused disgust.

“Let's hope decent enough to negotiate.”

As if on cue, the click of a gun being cocked reverberated through my left ear. “Give me a good reason not to blow you and your friend's brains out,” came a deep voice with a thick, southern drawl.

“The fact that you haven't yet tells me you already have a reason.”

The man laughed once, humored by my response. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed another man holding a gun to Vera's head.

“It would seem so,” the man agreed. And then he lunged, his gun hitting the back of my skull. I heard Vera grunt before my face met the ground and everything went black.

A dull ache pounded in the back of my head. I opened my eyes to darkness, my breath coming back to me almost instantly, indicating something was covering my head. But damn... I really should find some toothpaste.

A groan involuntarily slipped from my lips and I went to rub my head, only to find my hands were tied behind my back. More aware now, I realized I was tied to a small chair. Panic started to set in.

“Charlie? Is that you?”

The sound of Vera's voice brought it all back to me. Oh, God, how could I have been so stupid? How did they sneak up on us like that?

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Thank God. I thought he killed you.”

I chuckled. “It'll take a lot more than a whack from some redneck to kill me.”

Her silence sent a cold shiver of realization down my back. “Crap. He's in here isn't he?” A slap on the back of the head was my answer. Whatever was covering my head was roughly ripped away, revealing the face of the southern man. His face was set in a deep, angry frown. Damn... he was ugly.

“As a matter of fact, I am,” he snarled, his breath fanning across my face. Note to self... don't breathe in when he's talking. His sneer revealed yellowing teeth, some black and stained from years of alcohol and coffee.

“Why are we here?” I asked him through gritted teeth, changing the subject to the more important matters at hand.

The man shrugged, leaning away and out of my face. “You were on our territory.”

My brows furrowed. “I'm more than certain we weren't past the wooden stakes lining your camp.”

“Close enough,” he growled, taking a lethal step towards me, but then thought better of it and turned away. “My boss wants to talk to you... had to made sure you weren't going to pull that gun of yours out on us.”

“I came to negotiate,” I spoke calmly, careful not to aggravate this low tempered man. “I'm not a violent man.”

The southern man looked at me quickly, thumbs hooked into his belt loops, right next to a huge and extremely obnoxious bullhorn belt buckle. His eyes were narrowed, red bushy eyebrows practically making an umbrella like shade over them. “You wanna make a deal?” He inquired, running his his thumb and forefinger over his scruffy red and gray beard.

“If that's what it comes to, yes.”

He stared at me a little longer and then laughed lightheartedly. “Sorry chap, your girlfriend already screwed that up.”

I kept my face composed, but inside I was in full panic mode. What the hell did he mean my girlfriend screwed it up? Out of the corner of my eye I saw Vera's narrowed gaze and her body lean back into her chair, as if to get comfortably for fifth grade story time.

“What was her name?” The man thought loudly, a knowing spark in his eyes that irritated the hell out of me. “Oh, I know. Penny.”

No. He had to be lying. Penelope wouldn't go behind my back like this. She was hurting and she was different, but she wasn't a liar. She wasn't a backstabber. But... how would he know her name if he was lying?

“What.. do you mean?” I managed to choke out, hoping I didn't sound as lost as I felt.

His thin, cruel lips turned up into a smirk. “Penny made a deal with us. She gave us food, we stayed out of the way.”

“Doesn't seem very fair,” Vera spoke up, her voice tense, but oddly calm at the same time.

The man shrugged. “Wasn't my call. Anyway... that deal's done and gone.”

“We noticed,” I snapped, anger rising like the bubbles of boiling water in my chest. I was pissed because Penelope had completely turned against me and the very people she claimed to be protecting. I was pissed because I hadn't noticed supplies were missing. And I was pissed because these assholes were ruining what we had fought so hard for and risked lives to make.

The man slapped me across the face with the back of his hand. “Don't back talk, missy.” My eyes narrowed, but I pressed my lips into a thin line instead of saying something that would end up in another wussy slap.

“How did Penelope find out about you?” Vera asked.

The man turned to her, his eyes fixed on her like a fat man and a bacon cheeseburger. “She was on that damned roof when we were trying to raid the mall. We had been doing it for a long time, ever since we set up camp here in the woods. Anyways, she caught us, but we had more weapons and could have easily squashed her and your little group like bugs. So, she offered us food in exchange for peace.”

“What changed?”

The southern man was about to say when the sound of boots clinking against the concrete floor cut him off. He looked over my head at whoever was coming out of the shadows.

“Your Penny shot one of our people,” came another man's voice with a lighter drawl and much more intelligence behind it.

“We had nothing to do with that,” I quickly explained.

The man who had spoken appeared, clean and sharp looking. His light blue button up shirt was tucked into a pair of black pants, a thick black belt in the loops with a less obnoxious, rounded belt buckle. He was clad in dark brown cowboy boots and he had a hair cut and a strong face that screamed old west.

“You're a part of her group, all of you are involved in it.”

“That is hardly reasonable,” I tried to negotiate. “I tried to save her, but Penelope pulled the trigger before I realized that she had even raised her gun. I am sorry for that, but I was hoping we could sort this out. There's no need for more violence.”

“This world is a violent place, it always has been,” the man said. “But I agree. Why kill what seems to be so few nowadays?”

I felt a small wave of relief wash over me when it became apparent that his man was much more reasonable than Ugly over there. Maybe this would work out after all.

“Yet, your girl killed ours.”

And I spoke too soon.

“I can't believe I'm saying this, but Penelope had her reasons, solid ones, despite how much I disagree with them. That girl was going to be ripped apart by the walkers. I would have done everything in my power to help her, but her death was inevitable. Maybe Penelope did show some mercy.”

The man seemed to contemplate this. He turned to Vera, crossing one of his arms and resting the elbow of the other on it, his hand cupping his chin in a thoughtful manner. “What do you think?” He asked her.

Vera straightened her spine as much as she could while being tied to a chair. “I think that Penelope made a tough decision. It can be viewed either way.”

The man nodded, taking in the information as if it were only a simple discussion. Then he unfolded his arms, placing them on hips, an odd, rather nauseating smile appearing on his lips. “I think it's only fair that we take one of your people's lives. You chose to end one, we should be able to do the same.”

I shook my head, unable to stand up and shake the guy senseless. “The circumstances are completely different,” I tried to reason with him, only now realizing that this guy was even more insane than the other one. He just hid it better. “Penelope was only doing what she thought was right for the girl. She saved her... in her own way. Maybe it wasn't the best decision made, but in a world like this, she did the best she could.”

The man seemed to dismiss everything I said, but he didn't respond either. He turned to Ugly and spoke in inaudible whispers. Ugly glared at me for a second, before grunting and walking over. With one last slap to the back of the head, he reached down and cut the binds around my wrist loose. I looked at Cowboy in confusion while Ugly went to cut Vera loose.

“You're letting us go?” I asked him, completely baffled. Not 30 seconds ago the guy wanted to kill one of our people. Something was off.

The man shrugged at my question. “I figured I ought to give you and your people a running start.”

My blood froze at his words as realization sank in. He was letting us go to warn our people and ready for a battle he knew we would lose. A battle I knew we would lose.

Swallowing the lump from my throat, I stuck out my hand. He shook it with a sickening wink.

Vera looked at me before a potato sack was thrown over her head. Cowboy walked up behind her and that was the last thing I saw before a potato sack was placed over my own head. A hand gripped my shoulder a little too hard and walked me a couple feet before I heard the loud creek of a heavy metal door, blazing sunlight appearing through the small holes in my potato sack. We were guided all the way back to the mall, unable to see a thing, only able to hear the crunch of rotting leaves and twigs. The sacks were ripped off our heads and the two men shoved us forward before turning and walking away themselves. I glanced up at Penelope to see her aiming her sniper and for once, I was glad she was.

But then the unexpected happened.

An explosion erupted behind her, knocking her off her feet and over the roof. She gripped the edge of it, her sniper falling to the asphalt below.

“Penelope!” Vera shouted, running to the front doors of the mall. She pounded on them, yelling for Dan and Madelyn. In moments, we were let in, not pausing for a second as we sprinted for the roof. Madelyn followed us, hastily trying to catch up and shouting questions on what was going on.

She was answered when we reached the roof. A part of it was blown off, chunks still falling off. The wall below was almost completely gone, a giant fucking open door for walkers. Vera pulled Penelope up, holding her upright. I rushed over and checked her legs and arms. I paused when I noticed the heavy amount of blood coming out of her right ear. Fear struck my body cold, but I made sure it didn't show. Looking Penelope in the eye, I snapped my fingers by the ear, but she gave no response, she just looked at me in shock. I glanced at Vera, my face confirming my fears to her. She gave a subtle nod of understanding, taking Penelope back into her arms and leading her off the roof.

When they were gone, Madelyn turned to me, her eyes wide in terror. “Is she alright?”
I sighed, a huge weight settling on my shoulders among the other burdens that rested there. “I think she's deaf in her right ear. It may just be temporary damage, but I don't think so. She showed absolutely no sign of registering a sound.”

One of her hands covered her mouth. “Jesus.”

“We have other things to worry about,” I nodded towards the hole in the wall. She swallowed and we went back to the lobby. Dan, Vera, Madelyn and I all stood around the trash can used for fires with somber, worried faces. Penelope sat on a bench, but her head was turned and she seemed to be staring off into space.

“What happened?” Dan asked, his voice gruff and full of worry.

I let out a frustrated breath. “Negotiations didn't go well. Their leader wants a war... a war he and I are fairly certain he will win. I don't doubt that explosion was his doing. This place isn't safe anymore, walkers can get in easily. We need to leave. Now.”

“What if those people follow us?” Madelyn stressed. “What about the children?” One of her hands touched her chest, as if to hold her heart back from jumping out of her ribs.

“Then we fight them off. Fighting here will only ensure our death. We can't defend against walkers and people who seem to be very intelligent and also cunning.”

Dan nodded in agreement, however he voiced another concern. “Where will we go?”

“I don't know. We will have to survive on the road until we find another place to be more secure. We need thick walls, beds, food, and medicine supplies,” I lowered my voice. “If Penelope truly is deaf in her right ear, we need a place for her to survive easier. She won't be able to help in fighting very much anymore.... and she's one of our best.”

“We might be able to grab ourselves another, smaller store,” Vera said. “Maybe a supermarket or something.”

I waved my hand. “We could. For now, let's worry about loading up as many supplies as possible and getting the hell out of here before walkers... or others show up.”

They all nodded and dispersed. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sat next to Penelope, making sure it was her left side. She made no move to acknowledge that I was there, but I knew she knew I was. Hesitantly, I placed a hand on her knee.

“I understand why you did it now,” I told her, searching her face for any kind of clue... anything at all that would show me we would be okay. Even if took awhile.

After some time, she looked at me, but it only seemed to make me feel worse. Her eyes were so empty, the spark long gone. The shadows under them were a dark purplish gray. Her cracked and dry lips parted, but no words came out. She turned away again. Knowing I could do nothing more, I stood and made my way to help the others.

Only forty five minutes and a lot of sweat later, we were slowly moving the RV through the parking lot. I glanced out the window and noticed several walkers breaking through the edge of the woods and stumbling into the parking lot.

“Looks like we avoided them just in time,” I murmured to Dan.

He glanced in my direction before nodding. We turned onto the main high way and took off. But for some reason, the weight didn't seem to lift off my shoulders. It only seemed to get heavier.

Penelope came up to me and I turned and smiled warily at her. Her face remained a nerve rattling calm as she took my hand and pressed something into the palm before turning and walking away. I glanced at it. The key to the roof hung from the chain she always wore around her neck, the one I had given her a long time ago. Only now, dried blood stained the metal. My hand curled into a fist around it, my head falling onto the window as tears slid down my cheeks. The words The key you dropped circled my head, haunting me.