Sometimes I Wish I Could Disappear

I have never had so much fun in my life with someone. Like is said, I was a loner all the time and I finally realized what it’s like to have a friend by me. He was sweet, hilarious, and adorable. As we got into the van my stomach had the butterflies. I honestly never really been to clubs before, only gigs.

I didn’t know how to act or react to this point. I just played along with it and noticed how happy the guys were when with each other. Especially Jimmy, I think he was already drunk, but who cares he is fun and such a crack up, I cant help but smile.

They all stared singing along to some snazzy tune and I just listened to them, chuckling on the inside.
“I love you like a love song baby!” Selena Gomez really? I turned to Zack and noticed him singing along to. I look in front of me and noticed all of them drinking. What the hell? I guess they’re alcoholics, who knows?

They were loud and obnoxious to each other. I kept staring at Zack and he didn’t even notice it. I didn’t care though, I could do this all day. He was laughing and showing his dimples and how his face turns pink when he laughs to hard. The way his eyes squint when trying to keep in the tears. The way he clutches his stomach from the pain of laughing.

“Shut up!” Zack screams, “My stomach hurts like your mom’s vagina did from your big ass heads!” I started busting up. Everyone laughed harder. “Johnny how could you do that to your poor mother!” Jimmy protests. “Aw Fuck you! Your giraffe ass put your mother through hell!” he throws back. “Hey hey!” Matt says, “Everyone knows my dick hurt my mother!” everyone made a disgusted grunt. “Not like that you fags!” he shouts and we all laugh. “Please, guys I think your mothers are amazing, considering the fact that I am the only perfectly normal one,” he says a little bit conceited. “Brian, if you were normal, you wouldn’t talk about other guys dicks,” Zack says to him. We all howl with laughter.

“What about Frank?” Brian asks. “What about him?” Zack shoots back. “There is definitely a flaw in you, ya’know?” Brian says. I shrug my shoulders and wait for an insult. “He’s perfect,” Zack says flashing a smile. “Aw Zee Vee has a crush!” Brian coos. “Shut up!’ he yells. We all start laughing, me included. I then realize how bright red he turned and my heart fluttered. Does he really have a crush on me?

“If I had a crush I would have had him by now,” he says with a smirk. I was getting a bit turned on by it, including that fucking eyebrow. That right one always lifts up when he smiles or looks at someone. Luckily it was night, because they would definitely see that boner in my pants.

“We’re here!” Matt announces. “Fucking finally!” Jimmy shouts. We all sigh of relief and start filing out of the van. Our awesome van that’s decorated in stickers and their logo on the window in the back.
“Do it!” Zack says out of nowhere. “Do what?” Matt asks. “Do it,” Zack says again. “Alright we’re gonna do I then whatever that is we’re doing!” Matt says. We all start laughing. Some girl comes up to us and squeals in joy. “OH MY GOD! Avenged Sevenfold right?” she asks. “Yeah,” Matt says smiling. “I seen you guys at the gig holy shit nuggets your amazing!” she compliments. “Thanks,” Brian says.

“I’m Regina by the way,” she says holding out her hand. “Regina like Vagina?” Jimmy asks. We all look at him in horror. “Yeah, like sloppy beef curtains,” Johnny says. The girl looks at us with a hurt expression. We all start laughing, I felt kind of bad. “They’re drunk don’t worry about them,” I tell her. She smiles and I shake her hand. “bye,” she says quickly and we start heading toward the entrance.

“Name?” the security asked. “We’re Avenged Sevenfold,” Matt answers, the guard steps aside and lets us in, he quickly stops me. “You’re not part of the band,” I stared at him confused. Zack noticed and walked towards him, “He’s actually with us,” he says sternly. He holds onto my arm and the guard nods letting me walk inside. “Sorry, forgot to let him know,” Zack apologizes, I smile and tell him its okay.

We follow the guys to a private room for us. “Jack Daniel’s please,” Brian asks. The server guy nodded and is going to bring back our order. He came after five minutes with six bottles. We thanked him and that’s when the party started.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Woo!” Jimmy exclaims and is practically dry humping everyone on the dance floor and they didn’t even care. Everyone in here was too drunk to even care. I myself was drunk off my ass. My conscience was the only thing sober, yet I didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Come with me,” some girl whispers in my ear. I turned around quickly as she pulled on my waist to follow her. I grinned and followed her into some dark spot of the club and she kept leading me to a room in the back. “Wher…where…are…wuh…we..goin?” I ask having trouble with my speech. “Ssshh….don’t worry about it,” she giggles and yanks me into a dark room. She flicks on the light and had her back to me. I was pushed onto a couch looking thing. She slowly turned around, showing off her body. She had a lust filled smile on her face. She then started touching herself, from her waist to her breast, trying to arouse me. I was staring at her dumbfounded, not turned on at all, almost on the verge of gagging. She then slipped her finger underneath the strap of her dress and started to slowly release it from her porcelain skin. I then started taking in details of her face. She had bright blue eyes, blondish brown hair, and a pretty face. Her nose was a bit small and her lips were plumped with piles of red lipstick. Her body was very beautiful, though not my type at all. She was a girl, I liked guys.

She walked towards me and sat on my lap, grinding her lower half into me. I instantly reacted and shoved her off of me. “Whore,” I say to her. I lazily walked out of the room while she shouted unsanitary things to me. I walked back out into the club and noticed it kept getting emptier by the hour. It was half past 2 o’clock in the morning and we were all still here. If anyone was sober enough in here, it would be me. I cant speak or walk straight, but my mind was working still. “hey, Frankie boy come here,” Jimmy shouts.

I smile and walked toward him. “Jimbo!” I exclaim and he engulfs me into his arms. “hey…see Zack over there,” he points toward him. I nod and wonder where he’s going with this. Zack was sitting on a chair eating some chocolate thing and laughing with Johnny. He didn’t seem that drunk, but had a few to drink. Johnny on the other was wasted. Jimmy wasn’t even here to be honest, his brain died before this began. Matt was clinging on to some hot girl, Brian was on the floor passed out. I was waiting for Jimmy to continue. “You know he’s bi right?” he asks me. I looked at him surprised. “Yeah, he’s bi, lets just say gay, hows that sound? Anyways, yeah….he…uh…” he giggles, “Has a giant squid ass crush on you,” he says to me. “Like a blue whale giant,” he says using literary devices that I couldn’t remember. I giggle and felt my cheeks flush. “No he doesn’t,” I say to him. Jimmy gave me a weird look like I don’t know what I’m talking about. “Come,” he says, he talks pretty good for being drunk. I’m guessing experience.

He pulls onto my arm and heads toward Zack. Zack notices us and smiles wide, making my heart beat faster. I couldn’t even think straight after Jimmy told me that.

“Zacky sweetheart, come here,” I giggle at Jimmy’s name for him. “Yes Jimmy Dear,” Zack retorts back. He stands up and walks toward us, the little distance we didn’t cover. “Tell him you like him,” Jimmy demands Zack. Zack’s face gave a look of fear and confusion. “What?” he says aloud. “Tell him you like him!” Jimmy repeats. “You know like Frankie and Zacky sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, I don’t know the rest,” he says laughing. “Jimmy your drunk, you don’t know what your talking about and that’s not how the song goes, come here you’re a fucking goner bro,” he says grabbing Jimmy and leading him towards the seat he was just in. I stood there surprised, shocked, and hurt at how he ignored the demand Jimmy offered.

He turns around and looks at me shrugging. “Matt!” Zack calls out. Matt instantly turns around and glares at Zack for cockblocking. “Home?” he asks and Matt stood there for a while thinking about it. He shrugs and I realize he was…making ‘love’ to her.

I quickly turned away horrified at what I saw. I walked to Brian and stared at him sprawled out on the floor. “Hey uh…Brian, get up,” I say kicking him in the ribs. He groaned and pushed my leg away. I groan and bent down to help pick him up. I struggled and realized he’s to big for me. “I got him,” Zack says behind me and I let him do the job. He picked him up also struggling. Brian is a bit bigger, but mostly muscle, where Zack has muscle and fat. I don’t mind, he’s sexy the way he is. If I were not to know him, he would look all muscle to me. I like that about him.

“Gosh Brian your fucking heavy,” Zack whines. He has him leaning onto him and Brian struggling to walk upright, Matt came up to help Zack after fucking the girl. “Squirt, Jimmy, lets go!” Matt shouts to them. “I’m not squirt!” Johnny pouted. I giggle and laugh at his outcry. I stayed behind to wait for Johnny and Jimmy. “Hey Frankie boy,” Jimmy greets. “Hey Jimbo, hey…squirt,” I say. “Fuck you Frank, your smaller than me,” he shoots back. I just laugh and shrug it off.

We made it outside and had a hassle to get everybody in the van. Zack ended up driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat. While all the guys were groaning in the back or passed out.

“So why did Jimmy tell me your gay?” I ask Zack straight out. I cursed myself for making him feel uncomfortable. He froze for a moment and stared at the road ahead. “Uh…well…um…I…cant…uh…I,” he didn’t know what to say. He wouldn’t look at me and kept staring at the road. As a streetlight came up the road, it shined on his face and I noticed the redness in it. He was blushing harshly and I found it quite adorable. “You know I don’t care if you are,” I say to him. He smiled a little and took a quick glance at me. “I know, its just I,” he couldn’t say what he wanted for some reason. “You what?” I was pretty curious. I cursed myself again for pressuring him, but I cant help my curiosity.

“I’m ashamed,” he says and pressed his lips into a tight line and stared straight ahead. He wouldn’t look at me and he wouldn’t want to. I stared at him in shock, yet I completely understood.
“There’s no need to be ashamed,” is all I say. He gulps and kept driving towards Matt’s house. I never sobered up this quick in my life, but I instantly felt like I didn’t have one drop of liquor.

My heart stopped beating, he was bi, but he was practically gay. “I didn’t want you to find out like this,” he says. I kept staring at him. “When were you going to tell me?” I ask him. He looked at me, “When I was ready,” he answers and stared back at the road. He was gripping the steering wheel and clenching his jaw. I smile to myself and realized.

I could have him to myself.

He pulled up to Matt’s parking space and we helped the guys out of the van to the room and laid them onto the couch, or the floor whichever. They were sleeping as we dropped them and Zack and I started walking to our apartments.

“Have fun?” Zack asks me. I smile and nod, “You?” he just held out his hand and twisted it a little. Meaning its okay, not the best , but alright. I wanted to bring up about his liking for me now, but I didn’t want to make him nervous as we already are. We were walking awkwardly with each other instead of comfortably. I had to tell him, I needed to tell him, but I cant.

“You guys sure love to party and get wasted,” I say to him. He chuckles, “Yeah…A7X life,” he says. I giggle and slap him on the arm. “Your much better than I imagined,” I admit. He does a shy smile and I squealed on the inside. “You sure like to compliment, but same goes to you man,” he replies. I smile really big and pat his shoulder. “I like to make people feel good about themselves and let them know they do belong,” I say to him. He looks at me with a bright smile, (and that damn fucking sexy eyebrow) he pulls me into a hug. I gasp and quickly embrace into it.

“You’re the sweetest guy ever,” he says to me and ruffles my hair.