Lessons Learned I

Alex, Jake and I were hanging out on the campus lawn as we had some extra time one day after school.

Alex had his nose buried in a biology book.

Jake rested his arm on his knee and watched the cheerleaders practice. He shook his head. "It'd be funny if they fell on their asses."

I laughed. "Yeah, it would be. I'd pay good money to see that."

"Aw, fuck. We gotta disect frogs this year," Alex said.

"Cool!" Jake exclaimed.

Alex gave him a weird look. "'Cool'? Are ya nuts?! Ew!"

"Ew!" I agreed. "That's nasty."

"Yeah, but that stuff interests me," Jake said.

"Morbid..." Alex mumbled.

"Morb..." I agreed.

"My life's goal is to be a funeral director, man!" Jake said.

"Which you probably will be," I said. "I can see it now."

He grinned. "Sweet."

Alex sighed. "Why do you wanna be a funeral director? I mean...I understand it's a good thing to help people in their time of need after the loss of a loved one and all that, but it seems...creepy."

Jake shrugged. "It's fascinating. I mean, we're all heading there someday."

"He's got a point," I mumbled.

"Well, yeah..." Alex mumbled.

Jake ran his fingers through his hair momentarily. "Damn, I need a different gel for my hair..."

I looked around with nothing to add or say.

A really preppy cheerleader walked over and looked at Alex.

"Hey," she said, winking at Alex.

Alex glanced up. "Hi."

I looked up at her and gave her a semi-dirty look.

"You single?" she asked.

"No, I'm dating him," Alex replied, pointing at Jake.

Jake developed a weird look on his face.

"Mmm, that is so hot," Cheerleader said.

Jake gave her an even weirder look.

"Actually..." I mumbled, getting up and facing her. "I'm dating him. So I'd, like, so back off if I were you!" I said in a preppy, cheery, mocking tone.

She raised her eyebrows.

I glanced at Alex to see his jaw slightly hanging.

Jake looked amused.

Cheerleader looked at Alex. "You should so leave her. My breasts are bigger and I'm, like, SO not a virgin!"

Alex looked away.

"But you're, like, SO a bitch!" I said in a mocking tone. "So, like, back off! Like, really!"

"Like, why don't you go fuck yourself, you lesbo, and leave that hottie alone," Cheerleader said.

"Why don't you go fuck the football team and leave us alone?" Alex suggested.

Jake watched us.

"Yup, did you hear that? My boyfriend has no interest in you. So back off, whore," I said.

She gave me a dirty look and walked off.

"You should do some squats, your ass jiggles a little," Jake said.

Cheerleader pulled her mini skirt down over her ass and ran away.

I smirked a little and sat back down, feeling myself blush a little.

Alex asked, "You okay?"

"Yep. But you really owe me one," I said.

"I know..." he mumbled.