White Lie

The yellow lines of an old, pot-holed highway zoomed as we made our way past cornfields and pastures piled with cow pies and cedar trees. The man that sat beside me in the passenger seat had his eyes glued to the prairie flying by. Very few trees and lots of grass. No cars, no smoggy air, no skyscrapers—wide open spaces.

“What do you think so far?” I asked. The very thought of being home made me realize how good I'd gotten at Japanese. Though Kai spoke pretty decent English, I spoke better Japanese and that's how we agreed to communicate.

He turned to me and his face broke into that heart-warming, open smile. “I can see why you missed it. Its beautiful out here.”

I laughed. “Yeah...flat grasslands.” We passed the old stone windmill and I shifted uncomfortably.

I saw Kai's curious glance before his hand slipped into mine that was laid in my lap. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Nervous?” I trilled and then cleared my throat. “I'm not nervous. Just...excited.”

“You're nervous.”

I sighed, hating that he knew me too well. “I haven't been home in three years. That's a long time and...I've really changed.”

“You don't look that different,” my boyfriend joked and I gave him a sideways playful glare.

“I meant personality too.”

“Not really.”

“That's just because you're with me all the time,” I explained. “I used to be this hicktown girl who was only good for riding horses and scooping their shit.” Kai laughed. “I'm serious! I'm not who I used to be. And Mom wanted me to stay her little country girl forever. I just don't want her to be overbearing and...motherly like she is.”

“That's the way mother's are,” Kai said. He had experience. His mom was like Mother Theresa; she was the sweetest, most nurturing lady I'd ever met. She'd encouraged Kai in everything he did, was never afraid to tell him she was proud.

My mom was never afraid to say that either when I was younger. However, she wanted me to go to college in the states, do something with Agriculture. When I broke the news to her that I was going to Tokyo to study Asian culture and music, she'd been furious and demanded I get back home(I'd already been at the airport when I called to let her know my future plans). Obviously, I didn't listen and I was glad I didn't.

I'd went from that girl from the boonies to an independent individual who was working an internship at VVV Records. I had a paying job, a growing education, and a loving boyfriend(which was something I never expected to happen). Mom should be proud, shouldn't she?

I really had no idea; she never told me if she was or not. We talked on the phone twice a month, but it was only with the usual listening of her aches and pains and then her demands to know everything about my personal life.

Enough about my mom; its a depressing subject. And the feeling of Kai's thumb rubbing my hand showed he knew that I was feeling down again.

“Your mom will be happy to see you,” he assured me.

“Yeah...” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “There's something else.” I winced internally, knowing I'd have to drop the bomb shell sooner rather than later. When Kai asked what, a sigh passed my lips. “I...um...lied to her a little bit.” Kai said nothing and I continued. “I more so lied...about you.”

“What?” he demanded. “What did you say?”

“Well...” I let out an uneasy laugh. “I told her you were a twenty-six year old accountant for VVV.”

Kai stared at me for the several heartbeats before he spluttered out a laugh. “Are you serious?” he cackled, trying to regain his composure. “Why?”

“I panicked!” I defended, smacking the steering wheel. “I told her I had a boyfriend and she started interrogating me and I panicked—like usual—and I just said it! It sounded better than a thirty-one year old drummer in a visual kei band.” My mom was never fond of the idea of me dating a musician, but she wasn't totally against it. She just understood nothing of the outside culture. If she'd seen The GazettE's performances in videos, she'd crinkle her nose and denounce me ever even finding attraction to one of them.

And the fact that Kai was also ten years older than me wasn't going to help.

However, if you met the guy you'd understand why I'd completely fell into a puddle at his feet. Kai's smile had to be the sweetest thing one could ever see and his personality matched it. Though he was in that aggressive J-Rock scene, his disposition was quite the opposite of the sometimes dark genre. He was the drummer of The GazettE and I'd always had a fetish for drummers, not gonna lie. He was just so...bright and welcoming. I needed someone like that to constantly deal with my plummeting mood swings.

“I thought you said your mother freaked out when you lied.”

“She does,” I said, gripping his hand tighter. “Let's just play along with it, okay?” I looked at him pleadingly.

His smile had been replaced with a pouty frown. “I don't like the idea of lying to your mother right away...”

“Please, Kai!” I begged. “I'll work it out, but just be a twenty-six year old accountant for now. Please?”

Kai tilted his head back on the head rest and let out an exhale through his broad nose. “Alright...”

I managed a smile. “Thank you, babe.”

He looked over at me and shook his head, smiling to himself.

I made a left turn and pulled onto a gravel road before making another turn into a driveway. “We're here,” I said breathlessly.

Two monstrous dogs came bounding forth, barking and running along side the car. I killed the engine and sat back in my seat, staring at the house I'd grown up in where memories nearly ran like shadows across the walls.

Kai squeezed my hand. “It'll be okay,” he said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. “I want to meet these puppies!” he suddenly shouted and sprang from the car. Almost instantly, he was pummeled with love.

I laughed and jumped out of the car to save him. However, rounding the car I found he was completely content with the border collies with fluffy wagging tails and warm eyes. Seeing me, their energy intensified at a terrifying speed and they nearly pushed me over. I knelt down, engulfed in their kisses and yipping and soft fur. I hugged the older one, Wrangler, around the neck and nearly burst into tears. I'd missed those two way too much for my own good.

“Skylar!”

I rose to my feet and twirled around in one movement to meet my cousin with open arms. “Helen!” I shrieked and we started swaying back and forth, crushing each other with bone-breaking hugs.

My cousin Helen pulled back, keeping our hands locked as she looked me over. “Oh my gosh! Your hair, your face—you've lost so much weight!”

“That's what living off raw fish and rice do for you,” I giggled.

“Girl, you look amazing! I'm so going back with you. And your eyebrow—you pierced it! Aunt Vic is going to kill you...And your hair and—dammit, I've missed you so much!” And I was embraced in her arms again.

I chuckled and hugged her back. When she released me I gestured to Kai who was standing there with a grin on his pale face. “Helen, this is Kai, my boyfriend. Kai, my awesome-est cousin Helen.”

Kai held out his hand and Helen took it enthusiastically. “Its nice to meet you,” he said in his heavily accented English.

“You too,” said Helen. She leaned over to me and whispered very conspicuously in my ear. “He is hot!”

“I know,” I whispered back just as loudly, making a slight flush come to Kai's cheeks.
“Okay, grab your stuff and come inside. Your mom isn't back yet. We're waiting for her and Grams to get back from getting pizza. Everyone else is inside.”

“Oh, yay...” I replied dryly.

“Everything will be fine,” Helen assured me.

“That's what I keep telling her,” Kai said.

Helen gestured wildly to my boyfriend. “I like him; he agrees with me. She's such a worrier, isn't she?”

“Yes,” Kai said, sending me a wink as he took my hand in his. “But you gotta love her for it.”

“You two are so cute!” my cousin crooned. “Salena is going to think so too.”

I smirked at the mention of Helen's older sister, my other favorite cousin, who had much better luck with guys than I ever had. Before I met Kai of course.

The house was buzzing with conversation when the door opened and I was met with the familiar smell of my childhood home.

“The lovebirds are here!”

“Helen...” I growled.

And I rushed into hugs and “we've missed you”s and introductions. I still called Kai by his stage name(which was Kai) instead of his real name(which was Yutaka) because it was easier for the family and its all I'd really ever known him as. Helen and Salena's mother looked at Kai dubiously, but shook his hand and offered a smile. My uncle—a Korean war veteran—limped over and looked my boyfriend up and down, examining him opening. I'd informed Kai of my slightly conservative and abrasive family; he understood.

My uncle continued to survey him and Kai slowly held out his hand and bowed his head lowly. Asians' respect for elders—nothing can beat that. My uncle slowly placed his hand in Kai's and they shook.

“Funny hair cut, but I suppose he'll do,” my uncle said and gave me a wink. I smiled back.

Kai bowed his head again. “Thank you for accepting me,” he said with his biggest smile. Winner.

The tension evaporated fast with Kai being his charming, open self. Everyone seemed to like him, even though I could see a few of my cousins still had guarded looks. However, they were polite and welcoming. It was impossible to not fall for that smile, bubbling personality, and Engrish.

“Aunt Vic and Grams are back,” Salena exclaimed from the kitchen.

I gave a look at Kai who smiled at me and leaned his head against mine. “We're fine,” he said and we got our feet.

Helen was suddenly ushering us into the hallway. “You need to hide,” she hissed. “The coat closet!” She grabbed my arm and dragged me back into the dining room. Throwing open the door, she shoved me into the dark closet with Kai. “Don't do anything inappropriate in there. The walls are thin.” She winked and closed the door.

“Well, this is fun.”

I had to stifle my laugh behind a hand. “I'm sorry. Helen's just...that way.”

Kai chuckled and I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind. “I was seriously going to enjoy the alone time in here, but with your cousin's comment on thin walls...”

“Oh, shut up!”

We could hear the greetings and Mom's laugh met my ears. I'd missed it. Footsteps and I tensed up. The door opened, blinding us with light and I was face to face with Mom. My mother I hadn't seen for three years. She had aged in face, but her hair was still the same short, golden blonde. At first, I don't think she recognized me. Like Helen had said, I'd lost a lot of weight and my hair was more colorful(more shades of red).

Then, her eyes filled with tears and my own started burning. Before she could see, I held out my arms in the narrow space. “Happy Birthday,” I said and we embraced. An embrace I'd missed despite difficulties in the past.

Mom was sobbing into my shoulder, rocking back and forth, saying how it was the last thing she expected. I was crying too, much to my dismay. Also, I felt bad because Kai was still stuck in the closet. I scooted us away from the door and Mom took my face in her hands.

“Where have you been?” she asked with a watery smile.

“Oh, you know...around,” I said, mirroring her expression. “And Mom...” I turned and motioned for Kai to step out from the coat closet. “This is my boyfriend...”
Mom wiped her eyes on her sleeve before taking Kai's hand. “Its nice to finally meet you, Kai. Skylar's told me so much about you.”

“I hope it was good,” he said. I noticed his smile was a bit more tense, nervous. So he was just as nervous as I was, the hypocrite.

“It was,” Mom said. “Now let's get to eating before the pizza gets cold!”