Status: New

Man's Best Friend

Big House Blues

Stimpy was running around the messy kitchen, making a mess. Ren tried to focus on his newspaper, but finally decided to investigate when he heard a loud crash.
"Ok, Stimpy, what's going on in here?" he yelled.
"I am making a pie for our new neighbours!" Stimpy replied, his tongue drooping out.
"New neighbours?" Ren peeked out the window that faced the old, formerly abadoned house next to theirs. All he saw was that the lights were on.
"I just hope it's not a bunch of IDIOTS...," Ren said, more to his self than to Stimpy.
————————————
Stimpy grinned dopily as he held the pie he'd made in front of his neighbour's house.
"Did you really need to drag me along, Stimpy?" Ren complained.
"Don't you want to meet your new neighbour?" Stimpy asked, frowning.
"Unless it's Barbara Streisand, NO." Ren crossed his arms and exhaled heavily.
Stimpy ignored this, then rang the doorbell.
The door slowly creeked open. Slowly, the head of a brown haired dog poked out. Her eyes were open wide and bloodshot.
"Whaddya want?" she whispered.
"Hello, new neighbour!" Stimpy exclaimed. He shoved the pie at her. "I brought you a home made pie!"
She brought her face behind the door, so only her eyes showed. "You're not with the Australian government, are you?"
"…Euh, no, I'm just here to bring you this pie!" Stimpy replied.
She hesitantly stepped outside fully.
"Well, thank you," she said, taking the pie. "I-I'm Brenda."
"I'm Stimpy!" Stimpy joyfully announced. "This is Ren!"
He held up his small friend.
"Put me down, you IDIOT!" Ren yelled. He punched Stimpy on his nose.
"Ow...," Stimpy mumbled.
Brenda looked arround nervously. "Well, how 'bout you come inside and we can have some of this adorable pie?"
Stimpy grinned and nudged Ren. "Hear that, Ren? She said my pie is adorable."
Ren ignored Stimpy and faced Brenda. "No way I'm wasting my saturday eating PIE with some crazy old–"
"We would love to!" Stimpy exclaimed.
—————————
Brenda had made tea and the three were sitting and eating the apple pie.
"This is really good pie, Stimpy, thank you!" Brenda said, smiling.
"No problem, Brenda!" Stimpy said dopily. "So what kind of dog did you say you are, again?"
"Kelpie," she replied. "Australian!"
"Neat-o!"
The creak of the door opening was heard, and a voice called out, "BREN, I GOT THAT CLEAVER YOU ASKED FOR!"
"Why the heck do you need a cleaver?" Ren asked flatly.
A stupid looking blonde and brown cat walked into the kitchen.
"Ashlie, you idiot, where've you been?" Brenda yelled, shocming Ren and Stimpy.
"Dahhh, I was buying things like you said to!"
"For 6 hours." Ashliie nodded happily. "And all you got was the cleaver and a bag of sesame candy." She nodded again.
Brenda growled, then proceeded to slap Ashlie repeatedly.
"YOU FAT, STUPID, BAG OF HORSE CRAP! I HAD TO SET EVERYTHING UP AROUND HERE WHILE YOU WERE OUT BEING STUPID! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"Jeez, what a drama queen!" Ren said.
Brenda snatched the cleaver out of Ashlie's hand.
"WHAT WAS THAT, PIPSQUEAK?!"
Ren was unimpressed. "Ooh, a 'tough girl.'"
Brenda growled and trembled with anger. "You..."
———————
"She sure is a mean one, huh, Ren?"
Ren, covered in badages and ice packs, nodded slowly.
"Lesson of the day.... never... ow... never mess with a bitch holding a large knife."