Iris

I was kind of glad I had been forced to sit down. I would have probably fell over on the spot. I continued to stare at the man who was gripping the armrests so tightly his knuckles were white. His bright eyes were flicking around the room, looking anywhere but at me. He seemed so terrified, like a cat facing a bath. I felt sympathy for the man who I had never seen before.

I couldn’t help but start noticing the things I obviously got from him that I didn’t see in my parents. His eyes and cheekbones were only the starters. We had the same jaw too. He was bouncing his leg out of nerves, one of my main habits along with lip biting. It was odd though, his hair was straight and he was really fucking tall. Maybe I got the opposite attributes from the mother I hadn’t met either. Where was she anyways? If my father was here, why wasn’t my mother?

“Iris?” I jumped. I must have been staring at my father for longer than I had thought. Another bad habit is what I guess you could count it as. I zoned out a lot. I looked over to see all the adults frowning at me with concern. All except for Jimmy, that is. He was concerned but mostly scared still so he wasn’t frowning at me. I blinked a few times, offering a weak smile. “Are you okay, hun?”

“Yeah Mrs. B, I’m fine.” I turned to look at Jimmy who was bouncing his leg even faster. I had to stop myself from doing the same. Instead I placed my hands under my thighs before I had to start doing something extremely obnoxious for everyone. I quickly added to him, “Sorry about staring so long.”

“It’s fine,” he spoke softly, seeming as though his throat was closing up. He finally looked at me and made eye contact. As soon as he did I could see his eyes watering and he quickly ducked his head. I was able to see him wipe at his eyes very quickly before Mom and Dad grabbed my attention again.

“So how are you...” Dad looked at Mom. She nodded, blinking her eyes quickly to stop herself from getting watery eyed too. “How are you taking this?”

I pondered on this for a few moments. I guess I was taking it a lot better than I could have been. I slowly nodded to myself. “Fine, I think. It’s, well, it’s not really a shock to me.”

“What do you mean?” Mom asked. She wasn’t getting very upset anymore. She was more confused. And there was a small flicker of sadness. I don’t think she even realized that it was there but it was.

“Well I’ve always just been - ” I struggled with the word I wanted to choose. I finally decided on, “Different. I haven't really been too much like you guys. I act way different and look it, too.” I paused. I glanced at the man they called my father before I looked back at my parents, a small smile on my face. “I love you guys, and you are the only parents I’ve had, but I suspected this a long time ago.”

“Then I don’t feel we’ve been very good parents then,” Mom murmured. I placed a hand on each of theirs that were on the desk. They looked at me and I grinned.

“No, you’ve just raised a really smart kid.” They looked at each other before smiling again and nodding.

“You’re right, we did,” Dad spoke for them. Well, minus math and science. But I guess we’ll ignore that. “So Iris, it comes down to the main reason we’re all here. Do you want to have Jimmy back in your life?”

“Wait, what?” I was actually caught off guard by this piece of information. Did I want him in my life? What did that mean? I guess my shock was written all over my face, causing the adults, minus Jimmy, to chuckle.

“He can explain everything to you if you want to give him the chance,” Mrs. B spoke. I guess everyone else was too choked up to say it or something to that effect. I leaned back in my chair, thinking it over. It would be nice to know the man who helped make it so I was born. Maybe I can meet my mother if I get to know him first.

“Would I have to move with him?” I spoke suddenly. Part of me wanted the answer to be ‘yes’. Everyone in the fucking city probably knew I didn’t want to be here. I was tormented in school and had no friends anyways. But at the same time I felt like I would break down and cry if they said yes. I was just used to this life and they were the only family I knew. Yeah, life sucked, but I was so use to the motions that I didn’t know how I would react if it suddenly changed.

Everyone frowned slightly and the group turned to Jimmy who had had a very neutral look on his face the past couple of minutes. When all eyes turned on him, however, he began to fidget and look at the graduate degrees on Mrs. B’s walls. “Well, er - that’s up to everyone here, I guess. It would just, uh, depend how comfortable you get with me and...yeah.”

Well that was definitely informative. Oh, sorry, didn’t mean for my sarcasm to be so fatal. But it was nice to know I had a choice in it all. I stared at Jimmy yet again before slowly nodding. “Yeah, okay.”

“Huh?” All the adults spoke together. I dropped my head back and let out a laugh. As I straightened back up in my seat, I saw a broad smile on Jimmy’s face.

“I meant, sure. I’ll get to know him.”

- Time Lapse -

And that’s how I ended up in a diner downtown with Jimmy across the booth from me. We had already ordered our drinks and lunch since I hadn’t been able to properly eat before my, er, incident with Stephanie. My parents had taken me by home to change before they had dropped me back off at the front of the restaurant where Jimmy was waiting. Trevor was a little shocked when I came home so early. It wasn’t very pretty when they told him about Jimmy.

I had just tossed off my tank and pulled on a light blue V-neck when I heard shouting. I sighed, flipping off the light in my closet. I grabbed my phone off my desk before heading down the stairs, skipping every other step. I could hear the yelling coming from the entertainment room so I headed there.

“After all these years you’re just going to let him back into her life?” Trevor was demanding. “What, so he can hurt her again?”

“He didn’t hurt her in the first place,” Dad snapped. “He had his reasons he had to give her up, Trevor. It was for the best. And she’s the one that wanted him to give him a chance. She had a choice to let him walk away and she didn’t.”

“Of course she won’t! It’s not like you guys ever told her about the whole ordeal or let me tell her. Curiosity about why she was with us would eat her alive. I know it would for me if I was in her position. What if she doesn’t like the reason why he left her with us? She’s going to be hurt.”

“I’m a big girl and can handle it, Trev.” The three adults jumped, turning to look at me from where I was leaning against the doorframe. I smiled, standing on my own, and walking up to Trevor. “I appreciate how worried you are, but I can handle this. If he ends up being an ass, I’ll deal with it. I’ll just leave and go back to living with you guys like nothing happened. I'll be fine, trust me.”

Trevor stared at me for a long time before slowly nodding. He brought me into his arms and I hugged him back. “Just be careful, okay?”

“I will be.”

I can understand that he’s worried about me but honestly, it's kind of rude of him to just assume that Jimmy’s a bad person without getting to know him. I can only assume his reasons for letting me get adopted so young was for my own benefit. I really hope so, and not that I was taken away by force. He does seem the kind that never gives up what he loves, even if he doesn’t realize it’s bad for the people involved. Maybe that’s where I get it from.

“So Iris.” My eyes slide over to him. I had been staring out the window since he hadn’t spoken since the waitress left us alone. I looked at him now and he seemed more relaxed since he wasn’t surrounded by the adults in my life. It made me smile. He must have been so worried about making a bad impression in front of them. “Where do you wanna start?”

“Where’s my mother?” His eyes were filled with sadness. He turned his head, choosing to look out the window as I had. I decided to look with him, watching people on their way. As we looked he continued to speak.

“She passed away giving birth to you. We were both young, only fifteen, when she had you. Her body wasn’t stable enough to give birth. They tried to save her, but it wasn’t possible.” I nodded my head, feeling his eyes on me. I felt some kind of piece of me turn cold. I would never get to meet the mother who had brought me into this world and it bothered me. “She did name you, though.”

“She did?” I turned back to him to see a faint smile on his lips. He took a slow sip of his coffee in his pause. As he placed it down again, he was nodding and tracing the rim of the mug with his index finger.

“She did. She loves irises. We were going to give you a middle name but we couldn’t agree on anything,” Jimmy informed me, wrinkling his nose. I chuckled. I always thought it was weird I didn’t have a middle name but I did feel special too. I was the only kid I knew without one. I was a rebel, not conforming to their middle name crap. Or, at least, that’s what I boasted when I got picked on. Sadly things that sound like government conspiracies wasn’t very funny or cool with kids my age.

“So you gave me up because you were young?”

He nodded. “That was the main reason. I was young and stupid. I really did love you, but I knew I couldn’t give you the right kind of home. My parents fought a lot, it just wasn’t somewhere for a baby. And I was upset for a long time over Leana, that’s your mother’s name. I just didn’t know what to do with myself.” Jimmy ran a hand through his hair. His eyes seemed distant. I had a feeling he was watching his past flash through his eyes. I wanted to place my hand on his, but I wasn’t ready for that. Direct contact with strangers freaks me out, and he’s still technically a stranger in my books.

“Then why didn’t you call me or come to see me?”

“Believe me, I wanted to. But when Elisha and Jocelynn adopted you, I had to sign a legal contract that was big back then for adoption. They had the option to let me be a part of your life or not to. Well I still wanted to see you; I always loved you, y’know.” He paused for a moment to stare at me. I nodded. Why else would he have come back? “So they agreed to let me. But they wanted time to wait until they thought you were ready to absorb this. So I signed the agreement that I wouldn’t be able to talk to you until your thirteenth birthday.”

“Wasted no time, huh?” I chuckled, taking a sip of my strawberry lemonade. He grinned sheepishly.

“I finally wanted to meet you in person. Jocelynn made sure to send me pictures of you growing up. Technically she wasn’t supposed to but I had no objections,” Jimmy chuckled. I grinned back. Mom was definitely a rebel. She didn’t like listening to people order her around. Which is why I was amazed she worked her way to a doctor. Wasn’t that all they did when in training, get yelled at?

“What was my mother like?” I asked suddenly. This caught him a little off guard. He adapted that distant look again, a smile slowly creeping onto his face.

“Oh, she was gorgeous. She was a short, bubbly little thing. She was so nice to everyone she met, even though she was counted as a ‘popular’ girl. I mean, she ended up talking and hanging out with me and I was a school nothing.” It sounded mean but I perked up at the thought. Seemed Jimmy and I had common ground in the school department. “She could make anyone laugh and that smile, oh that smile was to die for. I met her when she offered to take me to the nurse when she accidentally clunked me in the head with a soccer ball.” Jimmy chuckled at the memory. “It wasn’t her fault. I was too busy watching her play. She looked so happy to be playing a simple game. It was what first attracted me to her.”

I smiled, placing my chin in my palms as he talked. He was so enthusiastic about talking about her. I could tell he still loved her. It’s been thirteen years and I’m pretty sure that love never faltered. I was right though, which Jimmy informed me as he kept talking. I had gotten my shortness and curly hair from Leana. Soon enough our food was being placed before us. Jimmy a hamburger with fries and mine being chicken tenders with fries. The waitress left with a smile, telling us to enjoy our food.

“So, what about you?” Jimmy seemed confused, pausing with a fry halfway to his mouth. I chuckled and he finished it before just staring at me. “What are you like? What do you do, and where do you live? You have it lucky, you know at least some stuff about me, I’m blindsided here.”

Jimmy smiled and nodded. “That I do. Well I live in Huntington Beach; it’s only thirty minutes or so away. I play drums in my band.”

“What band?”

“Avenged Sevenfold.” I began to grin widely. Jimmy caught my smile and started to return it. “What?”

“Trevor adores you guys. I like your music too, but I can’t tell you shit about anything. I know one song title. Err, Unholy Confessions?”

He nodded. “That’s one of our earlier songs.”

“Who are the guys in your band?”

“There’s Matt, he sings. He looks a bit intimidating with his huge muscles but he’s a giant teddy bear. Brian plays lead guitar. He’s a pretty boy, though he’ll hate you if you admit it. It hurts his masculinity.”

“Is he the one that used to have the longer hair with the fedora?” I asked, thinking of the few videos I had watched of the band. Jimmy nodded. “He is a pretty boy.”

Jimmy smirked in reply. “Then there’s Zacky. He’s more of the quiet type. He gets rowdy with baseball though. And last there’s Johnny. He wants to try to be a tough guy but he’s just a softie too. They’re losers, but their my losers.”

“And what about you?” I mused, placing my cheek in one palm. “What’s your rough summary?”

“I am the loud, obnoxious goofball that keeps them in the ways of being awesome,” Jimmy announced. I shook my head with a smile. We began to eat, chatting about nothing in particular. He had a habit of sticking to the music business. He was very excited about the music we had in common. Within half an hour we had finished eating and hadn’t even touched the tip of the iceberg about our lives.

Jimmy looked to his watch and frowned. “I think it’s about time I took you back home.”

“Oh.” I wouldn’t lie; I was disappointed. It was so easy to talk to him. It was like talking with Trevor. I could tell him anything without worry about him shunning me or mocking me. I could sit and talk to him for hours. He placed the cash for our meal on the table before standing. I followed him out of the restaurant and to a black Camaro. We drove to my house with only Linkin Park playing.

As we pulled to a stop before it I hesitated, staring at it through my window. Mom and Dad’s cars were gone, meaning only Trevor was here unless his friends had picked him up. Right as I was about to open the door Jimmy called my attention. He was staring at the steering wheel, twiddling his fingers in his lap. “I, uh, I really enjoyed us spending time together.”

“Me too.”

He looked up with a shocked look before he started grinning widely. “Really? Well, um, I was supposed to ask you then if, maybe, you would want to come spend time at my home for the weekend. You don’t have to! It was just an idea your...parents and I thought of.”

I could tell he had to force out the word ‘parents’. It was Tuesday so I had three more days of school to suffer before I could leave with him. And plus we had two days off next week for some ‘staff development’ thing. I lolled it over in my mind. It would be nice to get to know him more and meet his friends. But could I handle being away from home with someone equivalent to a stranger?

What else will you do? A little voice in my mind nagged. Sit around on the computer and play video games?

I finally nodded. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

“Really?!” Jimmy exclaimed. He quickly regained his composure, grinning sheepishly at me. “I mean, awesome. I’m going to be staying in a hotel in town so I won’t have to double back. Here, call me if you need to talk or want to spend time together before we leave.”

He handed me a slip of paper with him name and number scrawled on it. I shoved it into my pocket before smiling at him. I climbed off and gave him my goodbye before shutting the door. I unlocked the door and walked in, waving at Jimmy’s car before he drove away. As I shut the door a shit eating grin took over my face.

I finally met my father.