Perfect Symmetry

The next morning, I dressed to drop Jonathan off at the airport. I kissed him briefly and wished him good luck.

“I’m sure we’ll need more skill than luck to beat Nashville,” he replied with a small smile.

“I was wishing you luck with the playoff beard, not the series. You've got the series in the bag,” I teased, kissing him again and shoving him towards the security gate.

“You hurt me,” he called back jokingly as he walked towards the conveyor belt.

“Go Sharks!” I yelled back, earning me a couple stares.

Jonathan shook his head in mock disappointment before handing the lady his boarding pass and disappearing into the security line. I waited to see his tall head walk towards his gate before walking out of the airport and heading home.

The last few days at home were nice, but my heart ached to be back in Chicago to support the boys, and see them before the series started. Game one happened while I was at home, and my dad gamely sat next to me as I yelled at the TV screen violently. They were at home, since they had home ice advantage, but they were struggling to get the puck in the goal, even with many chances and net presence. Niemi played as consistently as he usually did, but Rinne was bailing his team out just as well.

The first period went by scoreless. Finally Kane took the first goal halfway through the second. I was shouting and cheering while my dad just gave me a bemused look. Nashville tied it up on a funny bounce when Nemo tried to flip the puck out of the crease, causing me to swear angrily and persistently.

It all went downhill from there. The hawks lost composure and broke down. The predators scored three times in the third period, twice on empty-netters, to my disgust.

Final score 4-1 Predators. I switched off the TV and refused to watch postgame and went to sulk. I could only imagine how the boys felt; they hadn’t played their best game, but the score was very misleading. I felt rotten, and felt even more rotten when the Sharks lost at home to the Avalanche as well.

When it came time for me to go home, my mother tried to convince me to stay longer.

“Just a couple more days, Jazz. You have plenty of time before you have to get back to work,” she said convincingly as I came down the stairs with my bags packed.

I laughed. “I should get back home, Mom. I want to spend some of my time off in Chicago.”

“With Jonathan?” she pressed with a wink.

I blushed. “He might be there, yes. But it doesn’t matter. It’s playoff time and I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk to anybody.”

“Well if he’s too grumpy you can always come back here. It was nice having you around again,” my mom smiled.

I told her that I would probably be back for a couple days sometime soon, and then she dropped me off at the airport. The flight back to Chicago seemed longer, and thanks to the time zone differences, I lost a couple hours. By the time I got back to the apartment, it was seven thirty and game 2 was already in full swing.

I unlocked the door and walked in to find Hailey watching the game with a bag of popcorn on her lap.

“Hey!” she leapt up and gave me a quick hug. “I forgot you were coming home today. Sorry the place is a bit of a pit.”

I glanced around the slightly cluttered kitchen and shrugged.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” I called out as I placed my bags into my bedroom.

“Why’s that?” Hailey replied curiously.

I smirked. “I thought you would have taken my vacation as a prime chance to spend some quality time with Brent.”

She frowned. “Honestly that was the plan, but the game 1 loss really put him in a shitty mood. Thank god they’re winning this game.”

I glanced at the screen and saw that Bolland had given the Hawks the lead on the power play in the second period.

“Oh good,” I sighed in relief. “That last game was depressing.”

The intermission started and Hailey gave me a knowing look.

“So uh did you get a visit from a certain team captain while you were in California?” she chirped gleefully.

I reached out and flicked her arm, giving her a peeved look.

“So you’re just handing out my address to anybody who asks now, are you?” I asked in annoyance.

“No, just the people who clearly have feelings for you,” Hailey retorted. “Are you guys together now? Please tell me you fucked.”

I felt my face turn red. “Hailey! No- we didn’t...sleep together. But we did talk. And kiss.”

Hailey squealed in excitement. “Yes! Thank God! I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”

“But Hailey my last relationship ended just a couple weeks ago. Doesn’t this look really bad?” I questioned worriedly.

“Well you said yourself you’re not actually dating yet, right?” she waited for my confirmation.

“Yeah but there was a very...palpable feeling. I don’t know, it just felt like we had been dating for ages already,” I struggled to explain.

“Honey, the desire to get a man into bed is not the same as “dating him.” I think you should wait it out. Let the playoffs finish and then talk about what exactly your relationship is,” she advised.

I opened my mouth to say something but the game resumed and we switched our dialogue to hockey epithets instead. Kaner scored in the middle of the third period, and the ‘hawks held onto the 2-0 lead for the rest of the game. As soon as the boys left the ice, Hailey stood up.

“Thank goodness for that. I’m going to head back to Brent’s place and congratulate him,” she informed me.

“That reminds me, Hailey. When exactly do you plan on moving in officially with him?” I asked curiously.

She looked surprised. “In the summer, I think. Will you stay and get another roommate?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it. I will though.”

Hailey smiled. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Bye,” I called absently as she left the apartment.

I contemplated calling Jonathan but I decided not to. I know he got very intense after a game, even a victory, and I was feeling a little intimidated. A small voice inside my head reminded me that I had never been too scared to call Viktor, even after a huge loss. I bit my lip, changed into some shorts and a tank top as my pajamas, and made a sandwich for dinner.
~

The next morning, the phone rang just as I came out of the shower, wrapped only in a towel.

“Hello?” I said into the receiver while trying to dry myself at the same time.

“Jazz, it’s Pat,” Kane’s voice reached my ears and I smiled.

“Wow, it feels like I haven’t talked to you in ages,” I remarked, putting the phone on speaker and pulling on clothes.

He chuckled. “Well that’s because you haven’t. I heard about the break-up from Jonny. You okay?”

I sniffed. “I’m fine Pat. Who else knows?”

“Sharpie, Burish, Keith, Seabs...those are the only ones I know for sure,” he answered.

“Don’t say anything to Viktor, okay?” I pleaded. “It’s not his fault and I’m not torn up about it anymore. Just let him focus on his game. Nice win yesterday by the way. Great goal too.”

Patrick laughed. “I’m just happy we’re not down 0-2 in the series.”

I could hear a lot of background noise and I frowned.

“Where the hell are you?” I questioned.

“Just about to board the plane to Nashville,” he replied, his voice growing louder.

I took the phone off speaker and slumped onto the bed.

“Well good luck. I think you’ll win the series,” I told him honestly.

Patrick sighed. “Well if we do, we’ll all go out and celebrate?”

“Even if you lose we’ll go out,” I promised him. “I’ll see you when you get back from Tennessee.”

“See you soon, Jazz,” Patrick hung up.
~
The next few days went by quickly; the boys lost game three but took game four, and I was doing a major clean out of all the things I didn’t use or need anymore and dropped them off at goodwill.

I was walking to a particular favourite coffee shop of mine when I spotted a familiar figure coming out of it. It was Viktor, clutching a frappuccino, looking disheveled but still gorgeous as ever. I froze.

This was the fight-or-flight response, I figured. I was rooted to the spot, and time slowed down. I could either run away or walk forward and get my coffee, and inevitably have to interact with me.

Don’t be a baby, I told myself.

After a few seconds of standing there, I turned on my heel and speed-walked in the opposite direction without looking back.

I guess I really am a chicken...
~
I meant to go to game five, but Hailey was busy and I really wanted to go with her. It was a nail-biter, with the Blackhawks finally winning in overtime.

Game day came around and I still hadn’t talked to Jonathan since seeing him in San Jose and I felt bad, but Hailey was insistent that I was doing the right thing. Playoff time was so serious that I didn’t really see a lot of any of the boys, and I was missing all of their shenanigans and jokes and just general company. I remembered the promise I made to Kane that we would all go out after the game, win or lose, and I began praying that it would be a win. The boys had a great regular season and didn’t deserve to exit the playoffs this early.

We sat on our couch watching the game with nervous stomaches

Duncan Keith opened up the scoring seven minutes in with a shot from the point, and we both screamed and cheered with the crowd. 1-0 Hawks.

However, just two minutes later, Jason Arnott scored to even it. Then the hawks got a break. Rinne was out of position, and Seabrook hit a puck off of Kane and it bounced into the goal.

It was a freak goal, but we would take it. Later, Patrick Sharp solidified the lead, scoring a messy back hander and making it 3-1 Hawks. Unfortunately the Predators closed the lead to one when Jason Arnott scored again, this time on the power play. I began to bite my nails nervously.

My fears were confirmed when Nashville tied the game when Hamhuis scored from the point. Hailey and I groaned and swore in frustration.

With thirty seconds left in the first period, Jonathan gave the hawks the lead again on a power play goal and we cheered like crazy.

Thankfully, the boys built up their lead, 5-3 and finished the game out with a two-goal lead. Hailey and I cheered and high fived and hugged and ate pepperoni pizza in celebration before going to bed feeling triumphant.

Hailey left early in the morning, presumably to congratulate Brent, and I made breakfast for myself before showering and getting ready. I decided to call Pat at around ten and see if he was awake. I got his answering machine at home, so I started to leave a quick message.

“Hey Pat, it’s me. So it looks like congratulations are in order, huh? Call me if you’re still up for a pub run this evening; try and get as many guys in on it as you can. Oops, there’s someone at my door so I’d better go. Call me, ok?”

I hung up and opened the door cheerfully without checking to see who it was. Jonathan was leaning casually on the doorframe, smirking at me.

“Hey stranger,” I greeted him with a smile, stepping away to let him inside my apartment.

“Did you watch the game?” he asked casually as he walked into my place.

I rolled my eyes. “Does it rain in Seattle? Of course I watched the game you nit.”

Jonathan laughed and held up his hands in self-defense. “Hey I was just checking. You’ve got a pretty busy life, so I wouldn’t be angry if you missed a couple games.”

“These are the playoffs, Jon. The rest of my life revolves around these games. Of course, I’ve got time off so this is kind of a weird time but whatever,” I explained with a giggle. “Do you want something to eat or whatever?”

“No, I came to make sure you’re coming with the rest of us to the bar tonight. It was your idea, according to Kaner,” he replied with a devious smile.

“I didn’t know you still wanted me to,” I retorted. “All the lines of communication between us shut down after we got back from San Jose.”

Jon’s smile faded. “Jazz, you’re the one who told me to focus on hockey. Plus, I wasn’t stopping you from calling me.”

I shrugged. “I know. I...never mind.”

He stood up and walked up to where I was in the kitchen. He towered over me and I shrank back.

“You have to say it now,” he challenged me.

I flinched. “I just...felt you were a little unapproachable. I understand that you’re invested in your games. I just felt like I couldn’t call you or even text you, even when you won a game.”

Jon’s eyes darkened. “That’s just the way I am during playoffs, Jazz. I have to zero in on what matters.”

So I don’t matter? Ouch.

The hurt must have shown in my face because Jonathan instantly apologized and reached for me.

“I’m different this time of year. More assholey,” he admitted.

I chuckled. “Well I was acting a little needy just now. I mean we’re not even dating. We’re just friends...who happen to really like kissing each other.”

Jonathan frowned. “Yeah. But we’ll figure things out after the playoffs?”

I thought it was cute how insecure he sounded.

“Yes. Now go. I’ll see you all tonight. Just text me the address,” I shoved him towards the door.

He barely moved and he smirked instead, bending down to kiss the corner of my mouth tantalizingly. “See you tonight Jazz.”
~
Hailey was absent that night, so I had to do my own damn make up. Fuck this was difficult. I managed to scrounge up some slightly smokey eyes and then kept my lips rather plain. I was wearing a black mini with a loose patterned tank top and my hair was down as usual. When Jonathan texted me the addresss of the bar I realized I could get there using the El and I decided to, since driving in Chicago was always a headache.

I got there at ten thirty, half an hour late, and the music was pounding. I winced at the music choice
and walked in bravely. Adam Burish was the first to grab me.

“Hey good looking,” he shouted over the music, planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

“Hey tipsy,” I replied with a laugh. “Where’s your drinking buddy?”

Adam took another gulp of whatever he was drinking and made a lip-smacking sound of satisfaction.

“Sharpie left just before you got here. Apparently he and Abby have a date night tonight,” he explained.

My eyes widened. “He didn’t get Tazer to babysit did he?”

Adam squinted at me. “What?” he shouted.

I shook my head. “Never mind, Adam. I’ll catch you later.”

I made my way through the crowded bar, which was crammed full of sexy girls looking for a hook-up or even a date. They were gorgeous, and I kept my head down until I found Patrick and Jonathan talking to two very eager girls and drinking with them.

“Hey guys,” I stuck my head onto Patrick’s shoulder with a little help from my heels.

“You grew,” Pat remarked wryly.

“You shrunk,” I teased, kissing his cheek.

Patrick took a swig of his drink and gave me a grin. “What can I get you, Jazz, martini?”

“Gin please,” I smiled at him.

He left just Jonathan and I to stand with these other two girls. They looked rather peeved that I had come in and stolen their thunder but I ignored them and turned to Jon.

“Fancy a dance?” I asked him with a smile.

“Not really,” he answered honestly, glancing at my outfit. “You look good by the way.”

“Thanks but don’t changet he subject,” I ordered. “Now come on, they’re playing a decent song for once and I want to dance.”

Jonathan sighed in defeat, downed the rest of his drink and got up reluctantly. I gave the two girls faux smiles.

“Excuse us ladies,” I called out, grabbing Jonathan’s hands and dragging him onto the crowded dance floor.

I shook my hips and sang along to the song, not caring how stupid I probably looked. Jonathan laughed at me and danced awkwardly next to me, grabbing my hands and twirling me all over the place. Pat found me and handed me my martini, which I finished all too quickly. Jonathan loosened up too, and was laughing with me when I stumbled around and mocked Rihanna for some of the trash music she was putting out.

It was two in the morning when I decided to call it a night.

“I’m taking a cab,” I told Jonathan quickly as I made my way out of the bar.

I hailed a cab and slid inside, only to have Jonthan on my tail and sitting next to me.

“Did I pick up a stray?” I chuckled.

“Well we live pretty close to each other so it makes sense to share a cab,” he reasoned, looking at me with those dank eyes.

“Whatever you say,” I let it drop. “So when do you find out who you play next round?”

Jonathan rubbed his face. “Umm, in the next couple days. It might be your Sharks.”

I grinned. “That would be such a great series.”

We talked about hockey for the ride home and then when the cab pulled up at my building, Jonathan got out too.

“Just want to walk you up,” he explained innocently when I gave him a look.

We took the elevator up and I stood uncomfortably close to him, feeling his warmth emanate from his suit and hit my bare arm. When the elevator dinged I leapt out and ran to my door. I turned and smiled at him.

“This was fun, Jon. I’m glad I thought of it,” I joked.

He laughed and then put his arms unsurely on my waist before not wasting any time and kissing me softly. It was probably due to the alcohol in my blood that Jon’s simple kiss was driving me crazy.

“Um,” I tried to say as Jonathan’s hands ran up and down my arms, causing me to shiver.

“I’m sorry I ignored you,” he whispered huskily. “I’d be happy to make it up to you though.”

I sucked in a breath heavily as he bent his head down towards my lips again.

“God you know that’s tempting,” I murmured, taking hold of his head with both of my hands.

I stroked his cheeks with a small smile and sighed with desire.

“I just can’t. Not yet anyway,” I explained, feeling rather ashamed.

Jonathan let go of my arms and gave me an understanding smile. He kissed my cheek instead.

“I get it. But this is hard. I want...this a lot,” he admitted with a slight chuckle.

I groaned. “I know. I’m just trying to be fair to you, myself...and to him I guess.”

Jon’s face sobered up. “Okay. But we’ll figure this all out soon.”

“Very soon. Summertime. Off season time,” I promised.

After another kiss that almost had me taking everything I had said back and taking him into my apartment for the night, he left.
I went inside, took a long cold shower, and fell into a fitful sleep.