Does it Matter?

A month has gone by…Was everything perfect? Not even close. I dreamed it would be perfect soon. But let’s face it; reality is nothing but honestly. Reality brings the truth out and snaps you out of your day dreaming. Let me fill you in what has been happening. In the past month, I worked 7 days a week, found a new guy friend who actually really understands me, I’ve been very distant with John and he’s been in a bad mood ever since I told him to shut up. What goes around comes back around and well…Bites you in your ass real hard. Now this new guy, Jake he’s been helping me with a lot of things. Like studying to pass high school, making me better at my job and as a person. This is the best part; we are such great friends that we decided to make John jealous. Now I know it’s not right but it is so damn funny. The more John comes home smelling that girl the more I make him jealous that I won’t let him touch me. Understand that I am NOT cheating on John with Jake. It’s just the friendship that makes him jealous. Because Jake and I are so close, like John and I used to be before he started cheating on me.
Last week Jake was so kind to start digging deep to find out who this girl John’s been with a lot lately. Her name is Val, she has long blonde hair, she’s skinny and she has the brightest blue eyes. Basically she looks like Barbie. I can see a perfectly clear reason to cheat on me with someone like her. I know what you’re thinking. Why am I still with him if he cheats on me? Simply because I do not have total proof that he’s been cheating on me and Jakes been very good with getting the evidence to prove it. Jake is the best friend I never had. Seriously, he’s the best. I’ve been saving every dime from my pay checks I get. I made a plan and I was not going to let anything stop me. I had it all in my head and only Jake and I knew the plan. School…Let’s see well the notes stopped for a few days b then they started getting worse in the same week. I now have all the notes in a shoe box in the closet under some clothes I don’t wear anymore. I walked in the house after work taking my shoes off at the door and made my way up to John and I room. When I walked in…He was sitting on the bed with little pieces of folded paper in his hands. I stopped and froze in place. He heard me walk in and looked up with an angry expression on his face, I was scared…
“Cathy...What the hell are these?” he asked I didn’t move or didn’t speak there beside him was the box full of the notes from people around school. He read them all I already knew it. I had to move them somewhere else because they took up all my space in my purse, I was out of room to hide them
“Answer me, who wrote these?” he asked looking in my eyes
“I-It’s nothing-” I stuttered a little he jumped up from the bed throwing the papers in the air
“This is not fucking nothing Cathy!” he yelled I blinked at him still not moving. I didn’t know what to do nor knew what to say to him
“Who wrote these?” He asked me
“I don’t know” I told him softly
“Bullshit! Why have you been hiding these from me?” John asked me
“W-why do you have those?” I asked him
“Why do YOU have them?!” he yelled I winced
“Is this the reason you stopped eating? Huh?” he was asking too many questions and I wasn’t starting to feel too good
“Please just st-” I started but was cut off
“Give me the names who wrote these!” he yelled
“I don’t know the names John! Okay I don’t! There from everyone in school! Go ask them who wrote them!!!” I screamed at him he picked the box up and whipped it across the room hitting the TV, John was very pissed now
“Go eat something now” he told me
“No” I told him
“Cathy I swear to god…” he said
“I can’t John. I will get sick” I told him again
“Cathy you been dropping pounds like crazy you need to eat something stop being stubborn” he said to me walking closer to me
“Isn’t that how you like them John? Skinny and sweet?” I asked him he stopped walking
“What are you talking about Cath?” he asked
“You know what I’m talking about. You know my secret and I know yours” I said getting mad now
“What secret?” He asked me I rolled my eyes
“Val.” I said John turned pale white
“Yeah I know about her. I can bet you my ass that she wrote one of those notes to me. I know that’s who you’ve been seeing John. I’m not stupid. When you come home and try to cuddle with me. Why do you think I push you away? I can smell her on you. You’re the stubborn one. Not me” I told him holding my tears back
“That’s…That’s not true Cathy” he said, I laughed
“Oh it’s not? You think you’re so fucking sneaky with her, but you’re not” I told him
“Then why didn’t you say something before?” he asked
“I didn’t have proof” I told him
“Oh and you do now?” John laughed
“Pretty damn close” I told him crossing my arms he walked over to me and wraps his arms around me tightly
“Baby…I’m not cheating on you” He said
“Save if for someone who believes you” I told him pushing him away with my arms
“You should really stop that Cathy, that shit is getting old” he said
“So are your lies” I said right back he glared at me
“Pick these notes up. Now.” He told me
“No” I told him bluntly he gave me a look I didn’t know
“You found them. You threw them. Your mess. YOU pick it up. I aint your damn maid Jonathan” I told him standing my ground he huffed
“Guess it will just lay there for a reminder” he told me, I was taken by surprise
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked him
“Figure it out Mrs. My boyfriend is cheating on me” he said rolling his eyes I sighed. What in the hell was I going to do?