You Were the First One I Loved

“Vi, you really should go to the doctors love.” I groaned as I brushed my teeth for the second time today. Oli was going to take me out on the town, but I’d thrown up twice since I’d woken up. “Vienna, open up.” He sighed, I heard his head lightly hit the door. I chuckled softly and unlocked the door. “Are you alright?” I shrugged, and playing with my bangs.

“I hate the doctors.” Oli chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’ll make sure you get a lolly, yeah?” I smiled against his shoulder and nodded. I held my hands around his back and let him hug me for a while. “I don’t want you to get too sick,” I sighed and nodded. I pulled away from him and started towards the door. “Vi, wait up love.” Oli laughed as he followed me.

“Will you drive?” I murmured breathlessly in the elevator. “I feel kind of dizzy, Oli.” He held my waist in the elevator and kept me steady on the way to the car. “It’s probably just the flu,”

“Vi, what if you’re pregnant?” I chuckled and shook my head, my hair sliding against the seat. “We’ve had sex like once, it’s probably not mine.”

“Oliver, I’m not pregnant. If I am pregnant, we’ll figure something out.” I ended the conversation and looked out the window. I heard Oli sigh, but he didn’t speak after that.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” I apologized as we walked towards the hospital entrance. He shrugged and kept walking. “Oliver,” I stopped walking, which caused him to turn around. “I’m sorry.” I smiled as I watched him struggle with being mad at me. He shook his head and hugged me tightly. “I mean it, Oli”

“I know you do,” he kissed the top of my head and pulled away. His arm rested on my shoulders as we walked together. “I’m sure it’s just the flu,” Oli assured me as we waited for the doctor. I had been pricked and prodded a couple of times from some unprofessional nurses. They were practically drooling over Oliver.

“Alexia! Very nice to see you, how’s your father?” I looked up from my hands and smiled.

“He’s doing well.” I replied politely.

“I’m Dr.Cook.” He told Oliver. “I heard you haven’t felt very well lately, Alex? Dizzy spells, getting sick, sleeping a lot?” I nodded. Oli sweetly rubbed my arm. “Well, let’s take a look at your test results.” After a moment of reading my chart, he looked up and adjusted his black, wide framed glasses. “Sir, could you step out for a moment?” I felt my heart drop as Oli left my side and walked out the door. He sent me a small smile as the doctor shut the door.

“I’m pregnant, right?” The doctor sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

“Alex, is it his?” I shook my head. “Do you know who the father is?” I nodded silently.

“I’ve only been with Oliver for a month or so. We’ve had sex once, and we used protection and I’m on birth control. I thought it was going to be a one night stand so I also took a morning after pill. It’s Josh’s baby.” I explained to my doctor. In truth, I was really explaining things to myself.

I talked to my doctor more about the things I can’t eat and other important factors of pregnancy. I admitted that I wasn't sure I’d have the child or not, and he gave me the numbers to a couple good doctors that specifically practice pregnancy terminations. He also gave me numbers to a couple good obstetricians.

“Take her home, buy her some ice cream, tend to her mate.” Dr. Cook said, clapping Olivers shoulder. Oli nodded seriously and grabbed my hand. “Alexis, please do keep me informed?” His eyebrows raised as he looked at me.

“Will do Cook, thank you.” He nodded and smiled at us. Oli and I walked out of the hospital and out to my car. “I want to go home and cry.” I mumbled as I buckled up.

“Do you want me to drop you off and leave? Or should I stay and sing you songs?” I smiled and looked over at him. He was so sweet to me. When people look at him and his band they see tattoos and screaming, but he is so kind- as are his bandmates.

“Stay and sing to me,” I said contently, closing my eyes.

“Anything for you, Vienna.” He murmured and started my car. “Anything for you.”

I woke up the next morning in an empty bed and with invasive nausea that forced me out of bed and to the bathroom. By my toothbrush was a note with Oliver’s chicken scratch handwriting on it. ‘Had practice, I’ll come round later. x Oli.’ I smiled and grabbed my toothbrush.

Even though I could almost feel my world being taken apart piece by piece, I still felt whole. Oli made that feeling come back. Sure I’m not over Josh, nor am I in love with Oliver. I think I will always be in love with Josh, but Josh won’t always love me. I’ve accepted that and now I’m trying my best to move on. I just pray that I will learn from my mistakes and not rewrite history.