Believe in Me

“Kaner, open up!” I heard. I was lying in Patrick’s bed when I heard the pounding on the door. Shit.

“Kaner, I know you’re home. Open the fucking door!” Jonathan screamed, banging it louder. I rolled out of his bed and went to go get the door. Patrick already opened it by the time I got there, so I stood behind the two.

“God, man! What’s your problem? My back hurts and I have not one, but two ingrown toenails. What the fuck do you want?” Patrick grunted. Jonathan’s face was as red as a tomato.

“Rachel’s pregnant.” He spit out. Patrick was limping to the couch, but he stopped at soon as heard Jonathan. “What?”

“She’s pregnant. She’s pregnant with my child.” Jonathan said bluntly. “Can I stay here for a few days?”

“Here?” Patrick asked in awe. The two were on the couch now, and I stood in the kitchen listening to them. They probably forgot I was even there, but I didn’t mind. “You can’t stay here, Jonny. Rachel needs you.”

“I can’t be around her right now. I just need some time to think.”

“Think? About what? There is no ‘thinking’! Your girlfriend is pregnant and you damn well need to support her. Stop acting like a fucking child.”

“FUCK, KANER! Don’t mention a fucking child!” Jonathan yelled. He stood up and walked around the room, holding his hands over his face in disbelief. “I just need to think about what I want.”

Patrick leaned back, shaking his head. “You’re a fucking idiot. This isn’t about what you want! Rachel has a baby, a fucking baby, inside of her. Every move you make from now on is for the child. Your child. Be a man and go talk to Rachel.”

“Kaner, please. You don’t even know what this is like. You don’t want a child. You don’t want to get married. I do! But not now! I’m almost 25! I can’t raise a child yet!” Jonathan shrieked. The conversation really grabbed my attention when Jon mentioned that Patrick didn’t want any kids or marriage.

“Well that’s too fucking bad, isn’t it!? You can’t erase what happened. God dammit, Jon. Grow the fuck up! Stop thinking about yourself! You have a lovely girl at your house right now who is probably scared. Scared out of her mind that she has a child inside of her without the father around. Do you wanna be that guy? That NHL captain known for dumping his pregnant girlfriend? Huh?!” Patrick yelled. Jonathan didn’t respond. “DO YOU!? DO YOU WANT TO BE THAT GUY?!”

“No.” Jonathan mumbled. Patrick got up and stood in front of his face. “You love her, Jon. You fucking love her and you know it. This is your child. Don’t abandon the both of them. Rachel is scared, man. She’s fucking scared. Don’t be that guy. Go home and sit down with her. Go take responsibility. It’s gonna be hard, Jonny. It’s gonna be really fucking hard, but you have us.” He said, pointing to me. “And you have the team. And you have the organization. And you have the fans. We're all behind you and Rach.”

Jonathan nodded slowly, taking in what Patrick yelled at him. It was a silent for a few moments, then Jonathan headed to the door.
“Thanks.” He said, then walked out.

“That was pretty crazy.” Patrick sighed. “So, Rachel, huh? She’s really pregnant?”

I looked at him emotionless. “Yep. She’s having a baby.”

“That’s insane. At least I use a condom, so we’re not in the same boat as them.” He laughed.
________________________________________________

Rachel’s POV

3 hours. 3 hours since Jon walked out, and I hadn’t heard from him since. I lied to my family when I told them the news. I said Jon was happy, ecstatic even. I told them he couldn’t be with me to spread the news because of hockey. In reality, he left to God knows where. They were happy for me. They knew how much Jon and I loved each other. My younger sister started crying, saying that this was the best news of her life. If only I could say the same.

I tried to cheer myself up. Jon will be back, Rachel. This is his condo. He’ll be back. Nothing helped. I sat on the bed staring blankly at the wall. This is all my fault. I’m ruining my relationship. I prayed that everything would be okay. I didn’t want to call Lilly and ask for help. I wanted to be with someone, of course. But I wanted that person to be Jonathan.

It happened so quickly. The missed period, the morning sickness. I’d gotten up early in the morning, puking my brains out. I grabbed some shoes and went to the pharmacy. Two tests later, I was in my bathroom staring at the plus signs. Positive.

I knew Jon wouldn’t take it as easily as I hoped. He’s under so much stress, a baby just adds loads more. I prayed that he’d act the opposite of what I was expecting…but he didn’t. That’s how he is. He’ll run away from his problems and come back with some bizarre option. I don’t expect him to tell me to get an abortion, or give it up for adoption. I would never. I knew Jon wouldn’t tell me to do that, either. He wouldn’t want that. I was just scared of being alone. That’s what I really feared.

I got up from the bed and stood in front of the full length mirror. I took off my shirt and stood there, staring at my stomach. I don’t even know what I was thinking. I zoned out of reality, just staring at myself in the mirror.

“There’s a baby growing inside of me.” I whispered to myself. I couldn’t believe it. This whole situation felt like a dream.

“I know.” I heard from behind. I jumped, entering reality. I turned around to see Jonathan standing there blankly. I bit my lip, staring at him with sadness in my eyes. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do.

“Are you okay?” He asked me, breaking the silence. I nodded slowly. I wasn’t sure if I was okay. So many thoughts were running through my mind. “I’m scared.” He told me, sitting on the bed. I sat next to him, sighing. “I am too.”

He set his hand on top of mine. “We’ll get through it.”

“It’s going to be hard.”

“You have me.”

“Do I?” I asked. I know I sounded rude, but I didn’t care. He ran when he first found out. I didn’t want him running again. I was scared and angry. Jonathan sighed, “Yes, Rachel. I’m here to stay. I love you. I freaked out, so I ran. I went to Patrick and he gave me good advice. He opened my eyes. I’m here and I’m here to stay.”

I swallowed, unsure of what to say. I believed him, but he leaving would always be in the back of my mind. I couldn't help it. “Are you going to tell your parents?” I asked him nervously. I was nervous about how his parents would react. Would they freak out? Would they hate me?

“I already did.”

“And?”

“They were happy.” He told me, slightly smiling. “Really happy. I think my mom cried after I got off the phone.”

“You want to keep this baby, right?” He asked after a moment. I looked at him, determination in my eyes. “Yes.”

“Do you think it’ll be a girl or a boy?”

I chuckled, rolling my eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t care. I just want a healthy baby.”

“Can it play hockey?”

“The baby is not an it, Jonathan. We will refer to the baby as “the baby.” And yes, he or she will play hockey. That’s a dumb question.” I laughed. He laughed with me, wrapping his arm around me and kissing the side of my head.

“I love you.” He whispered. “You too.” He said, setting his hand on my stomach.