Letters for Muscles

My Dearest Muscles,

I still find myself completely dumbfounded as to how the hell we even got here.

I get inappropriately angry when things always seem to work out for my friends. I feel like all my life, I’ve tried with my all my might and consistently come out second best.

I mean, I never asked for much did I? All I ever wanted was to feel wanted. I got more than I ever could’ve dreamed. I got married to the man I love more than anything in the world. Money was never important to me, but you had more than enough to take care of me, even spoil me. But I really wanted someone to want me. And you did. You told me all the time how much you loved me, how beautiful you thought I was.

So, I cry every time I see an older couple who have what we could never have: love that endures into old age.

I miss you more than ever, and I fear that I’ll always feel this way. It’ll always be an intense sense of loss… an unbridled anger for the life that was ripped away from us. Rage that we tried with all our might to be good people, to save others, to live with grace and love.

I love you beyond words.
Blondie