What's So Good About Picking Up the Pieces ?

His lips were soft and warm, but not in a weird way, in a guy-of-your-dreams way. I moved my hands to his hair, letting them tangle themselves in his locks. We kissed for maybe a minute before we heard whooping and hollering behind us. I broke away and turned to see Mike and Tony clapping and cheering, while Jaime made loud whooping sounds. I rolled my eyes, and looked back at Vic. His eyes were full of anger, and he looked like he was going to shout at them. He stormed over to them, and I sighed, watching the water splash out behind him. I headed up the beach and into my house, certain Vic was just trying to get some action. I touched my lip softly, feeling the heat of his lips still lingering. I had definitely felt something during that kiss, something that still hadn’t faded. But, the question was, was I just another girl to him ?

I quickly changed into a baggy Michigan sweatshirt and some short cotton shorts, doing my hair up in a loose bun. I wandered back out to the deck to find Shayla passed out on one of the chairs, and Jaime and Tony trying to break up the argument between Vic and Mike. It looked pretty heated, they were all up in one anothers faces. I turned my attention to poor, neglected Shay, wiping her hair out of her face and eventually tying it up and out of her way. When I looked up, the fighting had stopped, and Tony was dragging a staggering Mike home. Jaime and Vic looked at one another and shrugged, then shuffled, still shirtless, over to me. Jaime offered to help me get Shay into the house, and I gladly accepted. He slung her over his shoulder, and she groaned, but didn’t wake up. Vic accompanied behind me as Jaime set her gently on the couch. I asked them both to stay, but Jaime politely declined. I turned my attention to Vic, who mumbled something like “I can stay a little longer if you want.” I nodded shyly, and turned away as he headed out to retrieve his shirt. How was I going to tactfully suggest we hang out in my bedroom ? I didn’t want anything like THAT to happen, not tonight anyway, but I didn’t want to disturb my sleeping friend. I slowly walked toward my bedroom, hoping he would walk in and just follow. Luckily, he did, because I heard light steps behind me.

My room was still full of boxes, but my bed was done up nicely. It was a four poster canopy bed, with sea foam colored drapery around the pillars. The linens were white and crocheted blankets lined the foot of my bed. Light wood flooring and white walls accented it nicely, it was perfect for a beachy room. I turned to see Vic admiring it, and I smiled to myself. He looked at me and smiled gently, and then gave me a lingering hug. He smiled apologetically, and claimed he had to leave. I nodded and let him leave, but as soon as he left, my anxiety began to rise. All the old voices came back- telling me that he didn’t want me, and that he left to escape me and that I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Even though I knew they weren’t true, for the most part, a tiny part of me wondered “what if, what if they are true ?” I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to slow my breathing. I thought I was done with that part of my life, I had been getting so much better during nursing school. I thought that meeting someone that made me happy would take this all away. But I guess the move was too much for me…

I fell asleep quickly, glad to be sleeping in a bed again instead of my car. I had wanted to save money, so I opted out of renting a motel. As I drifted off, I let thoughts of Vic cloud my mind. I wondered if he was thinking about me too, and if he would want to see me again. I mentally kicked myself for not getting his number, but we were neighbors so I guess it didn’t really matter anyway.

The man grabbed me, practically snatching me into an alley. He had just come out of the bar next to the club I had been in, and I could smell the vodka on his breath. He nuzzled my face, and I cried out for help. He gripped my throat, and slammed my head against the brick building behind me. I felt blood trickle onto my neck, but I couldn’t focus on the pain, only on the man intent on hurting me even worse. No one was around to help me, he was the only one to hear my whimpers. He clutched my throat harder and threw me to the ground. Even though he was no longer holding onto my neck, I still couldn’t breathe any easier, because the fall had knocked my breath out of me. He landed a swift kick to the side of my head, and my vision clouded. All I could see was darkness and all I could feel was pain as he continued to beat the life out of me, and slowly, I felt myself draining away….

I woke up yelling, and tangled in my sheets. I had thought the nightmares were over too, but I could see I was wrong again. After the incident with my brother, I began to have horrible dreams every night, of varying psychopaths. Each time, I was either killed, raped, or severely beaten. It was just another reminder of the brother I had lost, and I slowly died a little inside each time. The dreams would leave me terrified, and unable to sleep, and tonight was no different. Except now, I had no one to comfort me, I was all alone. I didn’t hear Shay, so I knew she wasn’t woken by my screaming. Oddly enough, the only person I wanted to talk to was Vic. I just wanted him to tell me everything was okay and hold me until I fell asleep. Part of the reason I had moved here was to move on, to move away from that part of my life, and if that didn’t happen…I wasn’t sure what I would do.