Restart

”I don’t want to talk to you so whatever you wanted to accomplish by doing this you can just forget it.” Kayla fumed. She was going to chew out Lexi later for letting him into the apartment in the first place. She could see the hurt evident on Sidney’s face but she didn’t care. She told herself to stay strong and forget him no matter how much he begged.

“Kayla I know I’m the last person you want to see but plea-“

“No.” She said interrupting him. Sid sucked in a breath through gritted teeth. She drove him crazy in every way possible. With a small sigh, he tried again.

“We need to talk, Kay. I want to explain myself.”

She snorted, “please spare your precious breath, Sid. This isn’t some media press conference that you can just talk your way out of. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Well then I guess we’re never getting out of here.” Sid sighed like the condescending fuck Kayla knew he could be. She tried to hate it but she couldn’t.

“Well I guess so.” She spat, two could play at that game. It was a few moments of intense staring, neither of them even blinking, they didn’t want to give the other the upper hand. Sid finally broke and Kayla smirked satisfied.

Sid suddenly ran to her and kissed her, gently pushing her against the wall. Kayla’s resistance only lasted about a second, she missed his touch. She missed his kiss.

She missed him.

She didn’t want to stop but she pulled away. “No. You aren’t allowed to do this Sid!” She hissed. They were inches apart; their chests rose and fell together. His brown eyes showed his emotions; there was lust and confusion and sadness and Kayla wanted nothing but to forgive him, but she wanted him had to fight for it. She just wasn’t sure how long her “tough” front could hold up.

“We either make out or we talk things out,” he said leaning in, “your choice.”

Kayla looked up at the ceiling, “neither.” she answered.

“mmm that’s not an option.” He whispered, his breath hitting her face.

“Then let’s talk.” She said sternly. Sid smiled and backed away, but not by much. She pushed him back further so she could walk away, but Sid grabbed her wrist and they sat on the bed. She created as much space as possible, but it was hard with someone as big as Sid on a small guest bed.

Kayla quickly examined Sid. He’s come a long way from when she met him. His top half finally catching up to his bottom, no more lanky, bottom-heavy superstar, he was soon behind his ‘Sid the Kid’ days.

“Look Kay, I know I’m the last person you want to see, but we need to talk.” Sid started. Kayla just held her tongue and listened. She didn’t want to start another meaningless fight between them. Sid took a breath, “I know I’ve said some unforgivable things and I don’t expect for you to just forget about them after I apologize, but I’m really sorry. For everything. I’m an asshole I know, my temper gets the better of me a lot…” Kayla heard him drag on and on and use the same excess that’s he’s used before. His “short temper” and his sad puppy dog approach weren’t going to work with her this time.

Or so she hoped.

“Sid, you can just stop it. I’ve heard all the excuses before. You can’t keep using your ‘temper’ as a scapegoat. We just can’t work with your image.” She interrupted.

“I don’t fucking care about my image.” He spat. He reached out for her hand but she got up off the bed. “Kayla stop shutting me out.” He said; frustration all over his voice.

Kayla scoffed, “I’m not shutting you out Crosby. I told you I don’t want to talk to you. You had enough to say two weeks ago.” She spat. Sid looked down; he knew it was going to take a lot for her to forgive him this time. He took another breath.

“I’m not proud of what I said, just please know that.” He begged. He wanted to show her how sorry he was but he couldn’t put it into words. He was getting tongue tied and more and more urgent. He looked at her intensely, she always felt so small and vulnerable around him. She sighed and looked to the celling with a slight laugh and roll of her eyes.

“I know that Sid, really I do, but that doesn’t change the way it made me felt. How low it made me feel. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for days after it. I was a wreck.” She confessed, fighting back the hot tears stinging her eyes. She hated crying in front of him because he always knew what to say.

Sid wanted to kick himself. He felt like scum and he just wanted to wrap Kayla in his arms.

“Kayla…” Was all he got out before she slapped him and then slapped him again. She was about to hit him a third time, but he caught her hand before the contact. She squirmed under his hot touch. The electricity through the two of them was too much to bear, Kayla wanted out. She couldn’t break. She had to show Sid that she wasn’t just someone he could just sweet talk into bed with him. She had to prove that she wasn’t the ‘slut’ he called her out to be. She had to prove to herself that she was stronger than him.

She was kept in Sid’s hard gaze, he was examining her face wordlessly. He bit his lips in attempt to keep from saying something. He looked back and forth between her eyes and leaned in closer. Kayla wasn’t sure who’s heartbeat she could hear clearer, both of them were ponding in her head. “Kayla. I love you.” He whispered. She froze; her mouth sprung subtly open. She maybe thought it was a dream. Maybe her ears were playing tricks on her.

It was the first time he’s ever said it. After everything they went through, she had never heard those words leave his lips. She didn’t want to believe it. Sid searched her face for any kind of response, but she still stood stiff. She didn’t know how to react, but she felt pathetic about the way she was reacting to those three stupid little words.

“I don’t believe you.” She blurted, avoiding his gaze. He let go of her arm and took a step back.

“What?” he asked, she still didn’t meet his gaze.

“I don’t believe you. Why are you telling me this now? Why not after the first time we had sex? Why not after I told you I was pregnant with your son? Why not after his birth? Why now when you’re trying to get me back? I just don’t think I can believe you.” She said. She tried to look into his eyes, but he turned away from her. She looked down. “Sid…”

“I love you Kayla. I love you. I love you. I love you.” he seethed, he ran a finger through his hair and let out an angry yell. “Does it really matter where or when I said it?” he accused. Kayla knew he was upset, his temper flared. She kept space between them.

“Of course it doesn’t, Sid. I just-I just don’t want to believe you. I can’t take you back…”

“Just tell me you love me too.” He said, walking towards her. She sighed. She did love him; she knew it, but she couldn’t let him win. Her pride was at risk and in control. “Tell me you love me too and I won’t bother you anymore.” This got her attention. She refrained from screaming at how stupid that sounded.

“That doesn’t make sense.” she said. Sid gently put his hand in her hair. They had a wordless exchange before he gently kissed her. There wasn’t anything sexy or urgent about it. It was more like a goodbye kiss that happen when a solider is about to deploy into war. They both wanted to savor it.

They broke apart and Sid wrapped her into his arms. She tried to blink back the tears and keep her breathing steady. “I love you too.” she said and clung to him tighter. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want their son to grow up without a father; she didn’t want to never talk to him again.

Sid kissed the top of her head and slightly lingered. “Don’t leave. I need you here.” she said.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He said and they locked hands in the silence and no matter how crazy they drove each other; they knew they needed each other.