Nuclear Family

"So we're all set for the gig on Friday at the New Parish?" Rita asked Drew as they sat out on the roof of her house, sharing a joint that she had found rolled and hidden away in a drawer in the basement. It was the week after Billie Joe had taken Rita on a field trip across Oakland, and she was trying not to let his comments about Drew affect her.

"Yeah, they called and confirmed with me today. We're all set. Logan's brother is gonna drive us all over with our equipment. Is Jack cool to man the merch table?"

Rita nodded as she took a long drag- she had been rather quiet about this set she was playing at the end of the week, telling her mother only because she didn't want her to think she had run away.

"You really should tell your dad. Invite him! He would probably appreciate that."

"I can't, Drew. He still doesn't approve, even though he let us open for the Hot Tubs!"

"The two of you are so stubborn. It's ridiculous. Let's get inside, I think I'm getting hypothermia."

The best friends crawled back through the window once they finished the blunt and Rita shut it behind them, heaving a sigh as she flopped onto her bed.

"What are you gonna wear for the show?" Drew opened up her closet, looking through her shirts with critical eyes.

"I dunno. You pick something out for me." She shrugged, burying under her covers and hiding from the cold air that had slipped into her room.

"Your sheets are gonna reek if you don't Febreze yourself right now."

Rita peeked out from under the covers at Drew, who was holding up a bottle of fabric Febreze. She quickly jumped out of bed and sprayed herself with some perfume, then sprayed the Febreze all over her room and wrapped the finished joint up in some tissues.

If her father knew that she was smoking pot he would probably kill her where she stood. She usually only did it when he was on tour, but after finding his stash tucked away in a drawer, Rita couldn't help herself.

"You'd better get going, Drew. Your mom doesn't need me corrupting you even more." Rita rolled her eyes, annoyed that his parents still didn't care for her after almost ten years of them being best friends.

"Yeah, she'll nag the hell out of me if I'm not home for Sunday dinner, especially since I skipped church, again."

"She's gonna tell you I'm a heathen, huh?" Rita laughed as they went down stairs, stopping in the hall bathroom to flush the evidence of their smoked joint.

"Of course! It's a nightly occurrence." Drew smiled briefly, giving his best friend a hug before walking out the door as Billie Joe pulled into the driveway.

Billie saw Rita closing the front door as Drew was walking down the cement path, so he unrolled his window to say hello.

"Hey, Drew! Need a ride?" Billie put the BMW in park, smiling at the sixteen year old.

Drew politely declined, saying that he was going to catch a bus. As he spoke, Billie noticed his bloodshot eyes and how he smelled like air freshener.

"Alright then, kid. Have a good night. See you tomorrow?"

"Probably. Oh hey, Mae doesn't want me to tell you this, but we're playing a show on Friday at the New Parish. It'd be really cool if you came. See ya, Mr. A." Drew gave the man a salute before trotting down the driveway and out of Billie's view.

Billie Joe walked into the house through the garage, finding Grace and Jack making dinner and dancing to whatever music that was coming from the stereo.

"Hey you two, don't have too much fun being domestic." He smiled at them, laughing as they both shot him the same annoyed look.

"You don't know the first thing about being domestic, Beej." Grace smiled, kissing him briefly when he approached her.

"Ain't that the truth. Hey, where's the other lady of the house?"

Jack said that she was in the basement being a bum, so Billie Joe wished the two good luck on their cooking ventures and headed downstairs.

Rita was sitting at the piano, her fingers lazily running over the keys and playing a slow tune. Her back was to him, so Billie crept up on the girl and tapped her shoulder.

She jumped, slamming her hands on the keys and creating an ugly noise, and she turned around to look up at her father, who was standing there with an dismal look on his face.

"Hey, Daddy…" Rita smiled, patting the seat beside her on the bench and playing a few scales.

"Don't 'hey daddy' me, little girl. How's that high feeling right about now?" Billie Joe crossed his arms over his chest, and he swore he heard her say 'shitty now that you're bothering me.'

"Daddy, I'm always high on life!" She let out a small giggle as she played Chopsticks.

"Yeah, well this time you're blazed." Billie went into his bottom left hand desk drawer, moving things around and finding that his stash was a little smaller than when he had last looked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Rita shrugged, now facing her father with a defiant look on her face.

"Don't you fucking lie to me, Rita Mae! I saw Drew earlier and I can see you now. You're high as a damn kite."

Rita rolled her eyes and all Billie Joe wanted to do was wipe that stupid look off of her face.

"Fuck off, Dad." She got up and tried to leave, but Billie grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him.

"Don't speak to me like that, young lady. I am your father and you will treat me with respect." Billie was seething now, his eyes blazing just as his daughter's were.

"Some father you are!" She let out a snort. "You're just a big kid yourself, why should I respect you?"

"I won't let you turn into me!"

Rita Mae gaped at his admission, staring up at her father with wide eyes. Billie was even surprised at himself.

Shaking his head quickly, Billie Joe dragged her upstairs; his grip tightening around her forearm as she tried to pry him off of her, and Grace yelled that dinner was ready.

"Be there in a minute." Billie replied curtly, shooting his daughter a glare as he continued to pull her up the stairs and to her bedroom.

"You're gonna sit in here and come down from that damn high." He grabbed her phone and stuffed it in his back pocket, turning and facing her once more. "Don't even think about going out the window. I'll nail it shut if I have to."

Rita Mae discreetly rubbed her arm, trying to keep up the tough attitude so that Billie wouldn't see her cry.

"Get out of my room, dickbag." She hurled one last insult at him, and he looked at her with sad eyes as he left the room and went down to have dinner.

"What took you so long?" Grace asked once Billie sat down at the table.

"I had to have a talk with Mae. She won't be joining us for dinner." Billie pushed around his barbecue chicken, avoiding Grace's curious gaze.

"Billie Joe… What happened?"

Jack watched this exchange silently, like he usually did. He didn't want to put his two cents in just yet, knowing that it could blow up in his face.

"She and Drew were smoking weed today, apparently. She was high as fuck in the basement so I confronted her."

"And how did that work out?" Grace saw Billie frown as he sighed and said that it didn't go very well.

"I said some things, she said some hurtful things, and I told her that I didn't want her to turn into me."

Grace shook her head and looked at Jack, telling him that he could eat dinner in the living room and watch TV if he wanted to. Taking the hint, Jack nodded and left the dining room so his parents could talk.

"Beej, she would be lucky to turn out to like you. You're talented, smart, loving.. I don't know why you're so upset by that."

"I'm a fuck up, that's why. I don't want her to go through the shit I did growing up. I don't want her to sell drugs or live day to day in a warehouse on the wrong side of the tracks." Billie Joe was exasperated, and Grace was only trying to calm him down.

"There are ways to instill values in our kids without having them face the same… adversities that we did. Though I don't like it, a little weed isn't anything to get all worked up about. What kind of example are you setting when you and the guys get high and jam in the basement?"

"That's different, Gray. I'm an adult." Billie tried to argue, but he was way too flustered.

"Mae thinks she's wise beyond her years, so she thinks she can do things that adults do. I'll talk to her after dinner."

"No. I want to do that." He said suddenly, catching Grace off guard. He actually wanted to have an awkward discussion with Rita Mae?

"What? Why? Normally you look sick whenever I ask you to do something like that…"

"Mae said that she doesn't respect me because I don't act like her father. I need to do this."

---

After dinner, Billie Joe took a few deep breaths and knocked on Rita's door, entering the room when she didn't reply.

The main lights were off, so her room was illuminated by a string of paper lanterns that hung from the ceiling above her bed. Rita was lying on the bed, her back facing the door and her breathing was deep and even.

Billie sat on the edge of her bed, assuming that she was asleep since her eyes were closed, but she was awake and hyper-aware of his every move.

"I'm so sorry for losing it earlier… I know that it was just a joint, and you probably shared it with Drew, but still. When I look at you, all I can see is myself and that scares the hell out of me." He took her phone out of his pocket, setting it on her nightstand.

"I may not be very good at being a parent, but I'm trying. You're not in the same situation that I was in growing up... Hell, I'm still here, aren't I?" Billie thought of his father and felt himself begin to choke up. Running his hands through his hair, he calmed down enough to continue.

"You, Jack, and your mom are the greatest things to happen to me, y'know? If I didn't have you three I don't know where I'd be. I know you don't care right now, but maybe one day you'll see that I really am doing my best, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time."

Rita Mae was trying her hardest not to let tears run down her face as she heard Billie fighting back his own.

"As much as I'd prefer that you don't do drugs, I'd rather have you tell me about it than lie to me and sneak around. Please, baby doll. Don't make mistakes that I made. Don't turn into a junkie, because it's hard to come back from that darkness."

He took a deep breath, managing to keep his composure for a little bit longer.

"It's hard to be a role model when I didn't have any at your age. I don't know how to be anyone except myself, so I'm not exactly gonna win person of the year anytime soon. Just know that I love you and I'll do anything in my power to take care of you."

With that, Billie Joe got up and left her room, heading down to the living room and flopping down on the couch to watch TV.

Grace brought him a beer, offering a small smile as she handed it to him.

"How'd it go?" She was cleaning up a few stray dishes, watching Billie carefully as she went.

"She was sleeping, but I said what I had to say anyways. It felt good, I think." He wiped at his eyes, making sure that he hadn't cried.

"I don't think she was sleeping, Beej…" Grace nodded over Billie's shoulder to the entrance of the living room, and he looked behind the couch to see Rita Mae standing there with a tear stained face and red, swollen eyes.

"I'm gonna head upstairs to do some work stuff… Jack's doing homework in his room. See you in bed." The woman quickly made her exit as gracefully as she could, and Billie silently thanked her for that.

"C'mere, Mae…" Billie motioned for her to come and sit next to him.

Rita quickly curled up beside him on the couch, making sure that his arm was wrapped around her securely. It reminded Billie of when she was younger and would do the same thing when she had nightmares or when he would come back from tour.

"Daddy… I never meant to make you feel like you don't do anything for me. The things I said earlier were out of line and I didn't mean them."

"I kinda figured you didn't, but it still hurts to know that you don't respect me." Billie ran his fingers through her hair, trying to calm the girl down. He could tell that she was on the verge of crying again, and he didn't know if he could handle that.

"I'm sorry. I just… Sometimes I wish I didn't have to share you with millions of people. I wish we could have gone around New York and done tourist stuff without being followed or approached by fans and photographers." Rita looked down at her hands sheepishly, ashamed that she was feeling so selfish.

"Mae, it's alright to feel like that. Y'know, sometimes it gets to me too. But I love what I do and you know what it's like playing on stage for a packed building," Billie Joe used his thumb and index finger to lift up the girl's chin, making eye contact with her. "I'll always be here for you."

Rita nodded, biting her lip and burying her face in Billie's shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck and taking deep breaths. His scent was familiar and soothing, which kept her from crying.

Billie Joe instantly slid his arms around the girl's small waist, holding her tightly and rubbing her back while he mumbled comforting words in her ear.

"I just want to spend afternoons playing soccer with you, and then fall asleep in the basement listening to you play guitar. Is that selfish of me?"

That broke Billie's heart. He felt hot tears slide down his face, and instead of letting Rita go so he could wipe them away, he just let them fall.

Rita Mae sat up, surprised to see that her father was actually crying. Using her thumbs, the girl smiled as she wiped his tears off of his face.

"We're both too pretty to be crying, dad." Instead of making the situation uncomfortable, Rita chose to joke around and make Billie smile, which actually worked.

"You're the best, baby doll. I love you so much."

"I love you too, dad, even though I don't say it as much as I should." Rita Mae grinned, giving him a tight hug.

"Do you want to go to SoCal to surf sometime in the next few weekends? It's supposed to warm up soon…" Billie had wanted to go down to their house in Newport Beach for a while, but he had been busy lately.

"That'd be really fun. Maybe I could drive?"

Billie said that they would see when the time came, and she pouted. Rita had gotten her learner's permit, and Grace had been teaching her how to navigate the streets of Oakland after school and on weekends.

"You should get up to bed- it's getting late."

"Can we just sit out here and watch TV for a while?"

Billie nodded at his daughter's request, grabbing the remote as she settled into the couch, laying with her head in his lap and using him as a pillow. He channel surfed until he found Back to the Future on a movie channel. Rita and Jack could recite the trilogy word for word, and would re-enact it when they were bored.

They watched the movie, chatting idly and making commentary for a bit until Billie realized that Rita Mae wasn't responding to him. He glanced down and saw that her eyes were shut and she was fast asleep.

Billie grabbed his phone from the arm of the couch, sending a text up to Grace and saying that he probably wouldn't be in bed for a while because their child had fallen asleep on him. He quickly took a picture of Rita, attaching it to the message after trying to figure out how to do just that.

Grace sent him a text back a few minutes later, telling him that he had done a good job with the girl and to take his time because she would be up for a bit longer.

Smiling to himself, Billie Joe got up carefully and took the girl into his arms, carrying her up to her room and laying her in bed. She was already in her pajamas, which was nice, so all he had to do was tuck her in and set her alarm clock so she could get up for school.

"Goodnight, baby doll." He kissed her forehead and unplugged her paper lanterns, immersing the room in total darkness before making his way to his own bedroom to tell Grace about what had happened.