Stay

i tweeted,i facebooked,i tumblred and fizzy familyed...and he finally decided to meet me...for the longest i wanted to meet Damon Fizzy...he's amazing and i love him...and i want to know if there's even the sliest hope that we will be one day....and if not i guess i have to face it and move on but its gonna hurt...a lot...so i got dressed and begged my dad to drive me to the place and he did and i was smiling so much this is it...i'm gonna meet Damon...my dad dropped me off and Damon was standing there biting his nails and i got out"call me when u need to picked up"my dad said"okay"i said and he left and i tooked a breath"hey"i said"hey"Damon said he was really nervous...his anxiety"i got u this"i said pulling out a Razzberry Peace Tea(his fave drink) and he smiled"i love u already"he said and i smiled and laughed he opened it and drank some"can i get a hug?"i said and he smiled"of course u can"he said and he hugged me and he smelled good"so want to walk and talk"i said"shore"he said and i smiled"i'm a big fan...as we speck i am super nervous"i said"its okay...i am kinda too...i'm no good at meeting new people"he said and he laughed a little"yeah that makes the two of us"i said and smiled"its like your a celebrity...but your not..."i said and he smiled"no..i'm just a socially awkward kid who likes to make people smile and feel good"he said"well your doing a great job at it...i wish i was you"i said"no...you do not want to me...scared of the world and having battles with your mind...trust me...not fun"he said and i smiled"i'm scared of the world...i'm scared of growing up...living on my own...in my mind i think i'll get eaten alive out there"i said"yeah growing up is super hard...i'm having the same thing happening to me...but we have to...if we don't people will look at us and not hire us if we apply for a job or not want to be around us unless they are the same...you know...the world sucks and its scary but we have to deal"he said"i get told that all the time but when you say it it makes sense..."i said and he smiled"wanna go to the park"he asked and i smiled"we can go on the swings"he said and i smiled"okay"i said and smiled and we went to the park and sat on the swings"lets rib the bandage right off i'm gonna tell you about me and if u feel safe u can tell me about you even though u pretty much say everything on Youtube"i said and he nodded his head and i told him what was bugging me and how i feel and asked advice and he gave me some and eventually it was his turn"its like we are the same but different...its hard to explain we both have slimier problems but they are different just a little bit..."i know.."i said"and that's why i wanted a chance to prove to you we are not that different...and your not alone in this...and i just want to be your friend if anything"i said and he smiled"when u smile you light up the whole room"i said and smiled and he smiled bigger now that he felt like he had to cover it"i know u don't trust that easily...but just tell me...if none of that bad stuff happen to you in the past would you give me a shot"i said and he smiled and then looked down"yeah...i think i would..."he said and i smiled...even just the littlest hope that was there just made me feel warm,happy and smiley"whats with the big smile"he said and i smiled"a little goes a long way"i said and he smiled...today i saw serious Damon...he's different then what he shows on Youtube...not completely different just a little"want to go to the Quizznos down the street..u can get a veggie sandwich ..i'll pay for it"i said and he smiled"sounds like a tit load of fun"he said and there is the Funny Damon...and we walked to his car and he drove us there and i gave him the money and he smiled"you want something?"he said"just a Diet Pepsi"i said and he ordered it and i smiled and i couldn't stop smiling...this is better then i thought i sat there and he came back with my Diet Pepsi and his food and my change"here"he said"keep it"i said"no...i can't take it"he said"please"i said and he shooked his head"you take it or i will tickle the tits out of u"he said and i shooked my head because i knew he wasn't kidding and i will love him to tickle me and he sighed and tried to find my ticklish spot he got to my sides and he tickled me and i laughed and i covered my mouth because i was laughing loudly in a store"okay okay...i'll take it..."i said and he stopped and grabbed the change and i took it and put it in my bag and he ate his sandwich and he had something on his face and i grabbed a napkin and told him and he let me whipped it off"thanks"he said and i smiled"why so shy"he said"to tell u the truth i don't know...its just...i waited so long to meet u...and now that i met u i gonna miss you more...if you know what i'm saying"i said"want a piece of advice..."he said"i'll love to have some advice"i said and smiled"okay"he said and he whipped his face and finished chewing and i smiled"If You Still Feel the Same at the end of this day.... instead of saying good-bye....say hello"he said and i looked at him"it will hurt a lot less...and i don't want you to get hurt"he said and i smiled when i really want to cry..."okay"i said as i swallow my sadness"and another thing"he said and he looked at me"what?"i said"do what your heart desires....because its right"he said and i smiled and i looked at him"how did u became so good at advice"i said"i been threw it..lived it still living it today...i know whats good advice and what is bad advice"he said and i smiled and nodded my head and he hugged me"and i can tell when people are about to cry"he said in my ear and when he said that i cried and he held me until i stopped"all those feelings need to come out Aly...or you gonna burst"he said and i dugged my head in his shoulder and he rubbed my back and he gave me a tissue to whip my eyes and i shooked my head...i hate showing weakness...i try to hide it the best i can"i said to him and he looked at me"this is so sad...and not a good first impression"i said and he smiled"i don't mind it"he said and i smiled"take the other half of my sandwich"he said"you don't have too"i said"but i want to silly goose"he said and i smiled and i ate it...after it was getting dark and we took a little walk"want to hear my story?"Damon said"yeah"i said"well..lets get back to the car...and i'll tell u it...all of it"he said and i smiled and we head back to the car and we sat down in the car and he tooked a breath and he put the seat back"okay..i'm nervous about it...and i'm scared to death to go back to those horrible things"he said"you don't have to if you feel that way"i said"no i have to...i have to tell someone...i have to stop having this fear..it has to stop...so i'm gonna do it...i'm gonna tell you"he said and i looked at him"i won't tell a soul...if that makes it better"i said and he smiled"that's not why i haven't told someone...its the fact that i have to feel those feeling of hate and hurt and betrayed all over again....but i have to take my advice...feelings need to come out no matter how much it hurts"he said and i never saw this side of Damon...i mean of it but never witness it...his depressed side and he looked at me"just listen to me...don't say or do anything...because its gonna hurt worse if u try to comfort me or talk about how u relate to it...you can do all that after i say what i have to say"he said and i looked at him and nodded my head and i listened...i stood completely still as he said what he had to say and he cried and he was hurting when he said this and all i wanted to hug him tight and make him feel better but i listen to what he said i didn't do what i wanted there was times when i wanted to cry for him but i couldn't because he told me not to...after he said what he had to say he looked at me his eyes still wet and a little red from crying and he nodded his head to tell me its okay now and i hugged him and he hugged back and i put my head on his chest and cried...never knew just as bad he was sad...how could he just put a smile on his face like everything is okay..."i want to be here for you Damon...i want to heal all the wounds..just tell me what can i do"i said and he held me close.....