Ignite.

The drive back to Harry’s apartment was silent, save for some soft mix that Harry had playing. That boy and his mixes, I swear. I knew Harry was getting worried about me by the time we stepped into the living room, as I’d hardly looked at him since we left the house. I was just so frustrated still and even though I knew it would get me nowhere in the end, I was stewing in my new found distrust toward my brother. I just still couldn’t believe that he would pull a stunt like that in front of our parents, especially the first time Harry had ever met my father. That was just cruel. And he didn’t seem to get it either! That was what ate me up the most. It was like he thought he was doing us all a favor. He couldn’t get his damn head out of his ass long enough to see that Harry made me happy and Harry made me feel safe and wanted and good.

So in my frustration, I shut down.

As soon as we’d reached the bedroom I threw myself face down onto the bed and let out a low scream into the comforter.

“You alright, babe?” Came Harry’s soft call, worry laced in his words. But I remained silent, just wishing I could dissolve into the blankets so that I wouldn’t have to deal with my thoughts and feelings. Soon Harry was crouched next to the bed, his large hand coming up to brush some hair out of my face. “Jude, please look at me.” Slowly, and definitely grudgingly, I turned my head to face him and stared into his sad eyes. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise you.” I gave a halfhearted nod for his benefit, because at that point I honestly didn’t believe it. But he seemed to accept it because he changed the subject. “Are you hungry? You were out in the cold for a while.” So I nodded again and he gave me a small smile, straightening up and offering a hand to me. I let him pull me off the bed before he wrapped me up in his arms and placed a kiss to my forehead. No words were shared, but I was kind of grateful for that. When he started to lead me out of the room, I slipped my hand from his, earning a confused look.

“I’ll meet you out there, I wanna get changed,” I told him quietly, and he nodded before heading to the kitchen. I slowly trudged to his closet, finding a pair of sweatpants and tee shirt to wear and then changing. And then I just stood in his room, staring at the wall. I didn’t want to go out there. I didn’t want to discuss this like I knew he probably would. I didn’t want him to look at me with those sad eyes because that just made me feel worse sometimes. I didn’t like it when Harry was sad.

So before I could stop myself I had moved across the room and shut the door silently, locking it before sliding down the adjacent wall and pulling my knees up to my chest. I just didn’t feel right anymore. I couldn’t let this go and I couldn’t wrap my mind around why it was even happening. Henry got his revenge. Why couldn’t he just let me be happy now?

It was probably close to ten minutes later that I heard Harry coming back down the hallway. Of course he immediately tried to open the door, and I heard him let out a small sigh when he found it locked. He knocked softly, probably thinking I was changing or something. But when he got no reply he knocked a little harder.

“Jude, are you okay in there?” But I couldn’t bring myself to answer him. I just wrapped my arms a little tighter around my knees as my eyes started to sting with tears. “Babe, can you open the door please?” His voice sounded just slightly strained and I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I was honestly a little apprehensive to face him. I knew that I shut down when I got upset like this. Harry wasn’t used to this and I didn’t want him to see this. But he was persistent. He continued to knock on the door, his fist getting progressively rougher with his knocks and his voice getting progressively more worried. “Jude, please,” he begged, his voice cracking a little. Great. I’d really made him upset. Suddenly the pounding stopped though and I heard him walk away from the door.

I let out a small breath I didn’t realize I was holding and I felt hot tears start to leak down my face. I hadn’t wanted to make him upset, I just. I didn’t even know anymore. I guess I didn’t want to burden him with my silly emotional nonsense. Before I could get too comfortable though, he was back and suddenly there were clicks coming from inside the doorknob. And then, all too soon, he had unlocked the door and pushed it open.

“Babe.” His voice was soft and a little shaky as he knelt in front of me, his hands coming out to wrap around my own. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze, but I knew he was staring unwaveringly at me. “Jude, talk to me,” he whispered, his hands squeezing mine. But I shook my head lamely in reply.

“Don’t want to talk about it.”

“We don’t have to talk about it, just talk to me. Please don’t shut me out. Just let me help you,” he pleaded, and I finally brought my head up so that I could see him. His eyes were a tad glassy and his brow was furrowed as he stared at me.

“I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not. Jude, you could never be a bother, don’t say that. This is what I’m here for. I want to help you and protect you. You don’t have to hide from me. You’re not gonna scare me away.” And that just made more tears leak out. I pulled one of my hands from his to wipe them away with a small sniffle.

“Can we go eat?” Was my quiet reply. Harry breathed a short laugh out through his nose before nodding and standing up, pulling me with him. So with my hand in his, we walked to the kitchen, where I found two quesadillas sitting on the table. I placed a quick kiss to his cheek in thanks before detaching myself from his side and sitting down. Harry didn’t even make it to his seat before I was digging in. Of course it was delicious, because that seemed to be a given whenever Harry cooked, so I devoured it in record time. Harry took his time eating though, carefully watching me in between bites. He was almost finished when I stood from the table and headed for the doorway.

“Where are you going?” he called softly behind me, making me stop short.

“I’m just gonna go sit in the living room.” I heard him let out a small sigh, but he didn’t say anything so I took that as my cue to leave. With a sigh of my own, I flopped onto the couch, flinging my head back. A few minutes later I heard Harry’s chair scraping away from the table and then the sounds of him putting our dishes in the dishwasher. Soon he was padding into the living room, placing himself next to me but keeping a reasonable distance between us so as not to upset me. His apartment was eerily silent for the next few minutes, except for the ticking coming from his silly cat clock.

“Are you sure you don’t want to-?

“Yes.”

Another sigh.

“Okay, well we can talk about something else then.”

“I don’t really want to talk.”

Another sigh.

“Then please just let me hold you?”

I could have cried again.

With a small nod, I shuffled closer to him, nestling into his side as he lifted an arm for me. He wrapped it tightly around my shoulders, pulling me impossibly closer as my arms came around his waist and my head fell to his chest. Just when I was starting to get really comfortable though, he shifted. Pulling me with him, he moved his body so that he was lying on his back and my body was completely on top of his. My head fell right next to his, just a bit lower, and he immediately nuzzled into my neck, breathing me in. His fingers crept under my shirt, splaying out across my lower back as he slowly worked them against the skin.

We didn’t speak for the next hour, but I think we both knew that we didn’t need to. Honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted a sympathetic speech about how Henry didn’t matter or about how he would fight for me. I just needed him to hold me, and he did. I placed several kisses to his shoulder and collarbone, letting him know that I was grateful for this. Not only because it was helping me feel better, but because I knew that this was also Harry letting me in. I had a feeling he didn’t normally cuddle with women like this. There was such a closeness to it and it felt so intimate, but not in a lustful way. More of an ‘I need you’ way. And that was incredible.

--

I don’t know when I fell asleep or when Harry moved me to his bedroom, but that’s where I woke up. And surprise, surprise, the man of the hour was nowhere to be found. This wasn’t new though, so I rolled out of his sheets and headed for the kitchen, expecting to find him over the stove. But the kitchen was empty and the clock on the stove told me it was twelve thirty-seven. Shit. I never slept that late normally. Why hadn’t Harry woken me? And where was Harry, for that matter? Upon calling his name into the apartment, I received silence. Well. I was off to a brilliant start. So I padded back to the bedroom to see if he’d texted me.

He hadn’t.

hey, woke up and you’re not here. boo hiss.):

When an hour passed and he still hadn’t answered my text, I tried calling him. But it went straight to voicemail. So, not wanting to assume the worst, and not wanting to disappear, I placed myself on the couch in the living room and put on Chopped. And just my luck, there was a marathon! So I ended up watching three episodes before remembering that Harry never got back to me. So tried calling him again.

“This is Harry’s phone, who’s calling?” A chipper, British voice rang through the phone. A very female voice.

“Uhm, it’s Jude, who’s this?”

“Harry’s not here at the moment, can I take a message?” I swallowed the lump in my throat before answering.

“Uh, no that’s okay. Thanks.”

“Of course, bye, love!”

And then they were gone and I was tossing my phone onto the couch next to me. What the hell had just happened? I mean, it wasn’t really my place to be jealous because we weren’t dating. But why had Harry disappeared without at least leaving a note? And why wasn’t he the one answering his phone?
Part of me thought about leaving, storming off back to my house. But I didn’t want to make this into a big deal. I was probably just overreacting. Harry had told me time and time again that he wanted me. So I had nothing to be worried about, right? To keep myself from wallowing and over thinking, I headed back to the bedroom to get changed. I threw my jeans back on before grabbing a random band tee shirt, and then I headed for the bathroom. I found a pack of new toothbrushes, so I brushed my teeth and tried to do something with my hair, but it just hung on my shoulder in loose waves. I dubbed it a lost cause before deciding to ransack the kitchen. There I made a bagel and a cup of tea to quiet my stomach.

I’d just started my second half when I heard the front door unlock and open. Without meaning to look completely desperate, I bounded into the living room just as Harry crossed the threshold, a small bag in his hand. Upon seeing me, his face lit up with a smile.

“Hey! How are you?” he asked as he swooped in, placing a deep kiss to my lips. I stood stunned for a few seconds after he pulled away, but he just grinned at me. “You alright, babe?” I shook my head a little, trying to gather my thoughts.

“Uhm, yeah. I- yeah. Where were you?” I asked quietly as I followed him to the kitchen, lowering myself back into my chair and picking up the half of my bagel.

“I had to run a few errands, and then I stopped into the shop to see if Noah needed help and I ran into-”

“A girl answered your phone.” I hadn’t meant for it to sound so accusatory and I immediately regret it as soon as the words left my lips. But Harry gave a small, breathy laugh, which was confusing as hell.

“Yeah, I ran into my sister.”

“Gemma’s in town?” Obviously, I’d never met her, but I’d seen dozens of pictures and heard a plethora of stories about her at Anne’s apartment over New Year’s. Harry nodded gently as he grabbed himself a glass of water.

“Yeah, she didn’t even tell me! She’s visiting some friends. But yeah, I ran into her and she asked me to grab lunch. I was in the bathroom when you called, ‘m sorry.” He did look genuinely sorry, so I brushed him off with a small smile.

“No, it’s okay. I just-”

“Were you jealous?” I didn’t have to be looking at him to know he was smirking. I rolled my eyes a little as I sunk my teeth into the bagel. When he didn’t get an immediate response, he stalked toward the table, throwing himself into the chair opposite me. “You were, weren’t you?” But I kept my eyes trained on the plate and prayed that I didn’t blush. “You’re blushing.” Fuck. “You were absolutely jealous! Oh, that’s brilliant.”

“It’s most certainly not brilliant, you little shit! And I wasn’t even jealous,” I huffed, sending him a small glare. He rolled his eyes in response, shooting me a brilliant smile.

“You were, but it’s okay. Because you have nothing to be jealous about, and what I got you today will further prove that.”

“You got me a gift?” I asked as he leapt up and grabbed the small bag from the counter.

“You may call it a gift if you’d like. I just thought it was something you should have.” He placed the bag in my hands and I immediately ripped it open and pulled out a silver key.

“A key?” My head titled to the side a little as I stared up at him, and his shit eating grin was doing nothing to clear up the confusion.

“To my apartment.”

I think my heart may or may not have skipped a beat.

“Are- are you sure?”

“Absolutely. After everything last night, I don’t want you running off into the night anymore. That scares the shit out of me, honestly. So if you ever need to get out of your house or away from anything, you can come here. Any time of the day, whether I’m here or not.” That familiar sting pricked at the back of my eyes at his words. I eyed the key for a long time before I brought my eyes back up to his and I suddenly felt breathless.

“Harry-” But I couldn’t find words as I pulled myself out of the chair and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. My face was buried in his shoulder as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me in tighter as he kissed my head. “Thank you,” I finally whispered into his shirt, prompting him to squeeze me a little. He pulled back a little so he could look me in the eye again before he spoke.

“You don’t have to thank me, Jude. And I know this might feel like it’s too soon or something, but-” His words were cut off as I crashed my lips to his, and I was so thankful that I’d decided to brush my teeth earlier. His arms tightened around me again as he deepened the kiss, pulling me flush against his body as his lips worked against mine.

I couldn’t believe it. A key. He’d given me a key.