The Saints Can't Help Me Now

The swelling on my forehead finally goes down after a few hours, and my dizziness goes away. Frieda played nurse when I got home and it worked. She put ice on it and gave me Advil and washed it off. She’s basically the best friend a person could ask for, because she’s a good drinking buddy, she never leaves your side when you need her, she cooks, she loves to clean, she takes care of me when I’m sick, and she wakes me up for work. She’s a friend, mother and wife all in one.

The one thing the Advil and ice didn’t help was the color. It was still a lovely shade of purple that was less to be desired. As I get ready for Bam, I attempt to cover it up with foundation, but it fails. I finally decide that if I wear my bangs a certain way and hairspray the shit out of them, it covers it.

Frieda sighs when she sees me working so hard to cover it. “You have the attempt to impress him. You like him.”

“I am not trying to impress him. I like to look good when I go out, doesn’t everyone?” She gives me an accusatory look. “Okay, maybe I am a little. But he was my first love, and at one point my best friend so of course I have feelings when he comes back into my life after all this time. I’ve had time to forgive, and so has he.”

She looks confused. “He had the forgiving for you?”

“Yeah. I was a very angry lady when I found out he cheated and said a lot of shit.”

“You had a right to say angry words. He cheated!” She says angrily.

I laugh. “Yeah, I guess.”

I finish getting ready and then wait, and wait, and wait. He never has been the most punctual but I thought just this once he wouldn’t let me down. Finally, two hours after he says he would arrive, he does. I open the door to find him holding a candy bar bouquet and I laugh and smile. He’s wearing a purple coat with a black button up shirt underneath, and a nice pair of jeans. His pretty lion’s mane is combed back out of his face. He looks good.

He looks a little embarrassed. “What? You don’t like flowers! This goddamn thing is the reason I’m late.” He practically throws it at me.

It was a cute mug with mini heath bars and mini butterfingers on sticks in the shape of flowers. “Bam, this is adorable! You’re really two hours late because of this?” He shrugs. I put it down and hug him. “You’re cute, thank you. I can’t believe you remembered my favorite candy.” I kiss him on the cheek.

“Actually, I called your mom.”

I laugh and smack him. “Of course you did. Okay, I’m hungry as fuck because I’ve been waiting for your late ass. Let’s goooooo.”

I push him out of the door and we finally get this date started. Date? Get together? He brought me candy bar flowers, does that mean a date? He opens the car door for me. Date. He pays for dinner. Date. He hits on the waitress. Get together. He tells me about the girl he fucked before he came. Get together. He tries to impress me by telling me about all of his money. Date. He orders wine. Date.

He downs his third glass of wine without even blinking. “So, Mini. How has life been up here?”

“It’s been pretty good. I’ve basically worked at every fast food place in the area during college. That was a fun time in my life. After college I got a job at a job at a news station. That was a bust. I quit and the next day I met Jimmy who got me a job working for Jeff. “

“I heard about your roommate. She’s pretty hot.” Get together.

“Back off, she’s with Jimmy.” I warn.

He holds up his hands. “Hey, I was just pointing out the obvious.”

“She loves you.”

He leans on the table with his elbow and raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? Does she know about our history?”

I laugh. “Yeah, she does. She was a little shocked.”

“So, how many guys have you fucked since you’ve been in California?”

I cross my arms. “Two.” I proudly say.

His eyes go wide. “You’re lying.”

I scoff. “Oh, sorry I’m not a whore Bammy.

He slaps $200 dollars on the table. “I’m done with this, let’s go to the bar.”

I laugh and we leave, going to the bar I always go to with Jimmy and Frieda. A band is playing and the place is packed which is good because the bar tenders don’t keep tabs on who orders what drinks.
I look around at all the short jean skirts and t shirts compared to my short, bright purple dress. “I am way overdressed for this bar right now.” I say in Bam’s ear over the loud music.

“But you look hot!” He slaps my ass and smirks. Date?

We get a few rounds of drinks ordered and listen to the band. I liked them, but they were too poppy for Bam’s taste. We continue to reminisce about things that we did when we were younger and laugh at all the stupid things that we regret. I slowly become very drunk, and the drunker I become, the more appealing Bam is to me. He’s so sweet, and so attractive. My words start to slur together, and things start coming out of my mouth without permission from my brain. I scoot closer to Bam with each drink, and before I know it I’m sitting on his lap.

He pinches my cheek. “Are you drunk?”

I giggle and hold up my fingers. “A little bit!”

He chuckles at me and adjusts me on his lap so I don’t fall off. “You’re sitting on my lap, Min.”

I lay my head on his shoulder. “You’re so comfy.” I feel my phone vibrating in my purse, but I ignore it.

Bam feels it too. “Mini, you’re getting a call.”

I lay my purse on the bar table as it continues to vibrate. “I don’t care.” I smile and drunkenly kiss him. After a few seconds I realize what I’m doing and pull away, apparently too hard because I fall off of his lap and onto the hard floor.

He cracks up before he attempts to get his composure back and pick me up off the floor. I sit on the chair next to him. “What was that?”

I look down. “Thaat was me, being really drunk.”

He puts his hand under my chin and lifts up my head, looking me in the eyes. “But I liked it.” He kisses me this time, a very sweet, soft kiss. He pulls away. “Let’s get out of here.” He gives me a sly grin and leads me out of the bar. As soon as we get in the car, my clothes magically disappear and Bam and I are having sex in the driver’s seat of his car, just like old times.