Status: :) R&R and I love you.
Abused
Prologue
Worthless. Hated. Worthless. Unwanted. Worthless. Abused
Fuck the world, fuck everything. My heart is beating hard against my bruised chest. My left eye hurts, and I know it's going to look horrible tomorrow. My stomach feels hot. Burning. Only one word keeps repeating in my head. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts.
I carefully lay on the bed, trying to ignore all the voices that keep whispering to me. Then I grab a pillow and wrap my arms around it. Nadine, come on. Be a woman. Be strong. Don't cry. You will not cry. You just can't. You will NOT cry. I bury my face in the comforting pillow, wondering how many times I have found myself right here, hugging a pillow, hurt and abused on my own bed in the safety and small bit of comfort of my bedroom.
I didn't want you. I didn't need you. You are a demon's child. An unwanted child. I wish you had died long ago.
Those sentences keep repeating inside my head. Thousands of pictures of my childhood keep repeating inside my mind. Some of them are beautiful. I am smiling. I am laughing. I am alone. It's just me. Some of them aren't so pretty and cute. I am crying. I am screaming. I am afraid. Abused
I've had three things that have kept me going. Three things I've needed to live, even more than food, water and rest. My job. My best friend. Distance to my dad.
I lost my job two days and three hours ago. The whole company was just shut down because it was a bad business. I had worked there for my entire career, and now I lost a job that meant everything to me. My best friend moved away and I am all alone in Vegas. And great, my dad moved in town some time ago.
So fuck, I have none of them anymore. Here I am starving, thirsty and tired. Or, in other words, jobless, alone as hell and less than 4 miles away from my dad.
He has managed to make me feel miserable for my whole life. Ever since I was born. He doesn't allow me to date any guys. I dated someone in the high school. And right now I am 26, and I have only kissed one guy. And needless to say, that guy didn't want to see me ever again after he met my dad privately.
My mom, she died while giving birth to me. And I was not a wanted child, so my dad blames me for killing a perfect human being.
Sometimes dad gets really scary. Yes, it's scary as hell when he becomes his abusive self. That's when he hits me. But I am used to it, because he has punished me that way for my whole life, really. As a child I just thought it was normal for a parent to hit a child. But I didn't even realise that he hit me for no reason. When he was tired. When he was hungry. When he just didn't want to see me.
He has done other things. I thought it was a different way of showing love. I know it wasn't. I understood when I grew up. But I don't want to think about it now. Not right here. This is enough.
If only there was someone who could save me..
Someone who could stop this fucking abuse called the life of Nadine Greene.
Fuck the world, fuck everything. My heart is beating hard against my bruised chest. My left eye hurts, and I know it's going to look horrible tomorrow. My stomach feels hot. Burning. Only one word keeps repeating in my head. Hurts. Hurts. Hurts.
I carefully lay on the bed, trying to ignore all the voices that keep whispering to me. Then I grab a pillow and wrap my arms around it. Nadine, come on. Be a woman. Be strong. Don't cry. You will not cry. You just can't. You will NOT cry. I bury my face in the comforting pillow, wondering how many times I have found myself right here, hugging a pillow, hurt and abused on my own bed in the safety and small bit of comfort of my bedroom.
I didn't want you. I didn't need you. You are a demon's child. An unwanted child. I wish you had died long ago.
Those sentences keep repeating inside my head. Thousands of pictures of my childhood keep repeating inside my mind. Some of them are beautiful. I am smiling. I am laughing. I am alone. It's just me. Some of them aren't so pretty and cute. I am crying. I am screaming. I am afraid. Abused
I've had three things that have kept me going. Three things I've needed to live, even more than food, water and rest. My job. My best friend. Distance to my dad.
I lost my job two days and three hours ago. The whole company was just shut down because it was a bad business. I had worked there for my entire career, and now I lost a job that meant everything to me. My best friend moved away and I am all alone in Vegas. And great, my dad moved in town some time ago.
So fuck, I have none of them anymore. Here I am starving, thirsty and tired. Or, in other words, jobless, alone as hell and less than 4 miles away from my dad.
He has managed to make me feel miserable for my whole life. Ever since I was born. He doesn't allow me to date any guys. I dated someone in the high school. And right now I am 26, and I have only kissed one guy. And needless to say, that guy didn't want to see me ever again after he met my dad privately.
My mom, she died while giving birth to me. And I was not a wanted child, so my dad blames me for killing a perfect human being.
Sometimes dad gets really scary. Yes, it's scary as hell when he becomes his abusive self. That's when he hits me. But I am used to it, because he has punished me that way for my whole life, really. As a child I just thought it was normal for a parent to hit a child. But I didn't even realise that he hit me for no reason. When he was tired. When he was hungry. When he just didn't want to see me.
He has done other things. I thought it was a different way of showing love. I know it wasn't. I understood when I grew up. But I don't want to think about it now. Not right here. This is enough.
If only there was someone who could save me..
Someone who could stop this fucking abuse called the life of Nadine Greene.
♠ ♠ ♠
This was a pretty short prologue. I hope you liked it. There's better to come, so keep on reading. All comments appreciated. Opinions/ constructive criticism/ ideas. . Thanks for helping make Abused a better story! ^_^ Your support means a lot.