Only in Your Dreams

My nerves got the best of me. The waiting was killing me. Matt had my lyric book and I was smoking like a fucking chimney outside the studio. I paced across the lot that was right outside the back entrance. My boots scrapped against the pavement, wearing them out a lot.

I heard a loud grunt, which mad me twist around quickly. I saw Matt face me, with sad eyes. I didn’t know what to think about it. Was he sad about what he read? Was he upset that my lyrics were crap? Or perhaps he was just trying to think of a way to tell me I was fucked up.

“Luciana?” his low voice sounded troubled.

My breath hiked, “yes?”

“Is it true?”

I bit my lip, “about what?”

“Everything,” he walked closer to me, “these lyrics are actually very inspiring.”

I sighed, “yeah,” my eyes dropped, “it’s all true. Proof is available.”

I heard boots hitting the concrete ground. A loud sigh was echoed and I felt arms wrap around me. I was enveloped in a massive chest. My face was buried in Matt and I didn’t know how to react, other then wrapping my arms around him.

I heard a throat clear and saw Zacky and Brian standing several feet away from Matt and I. I let go of him and he just laid his hands on my shoulders. His hazel eyes bore into mine.

“They’re amazing,” he dropped his hands to his sides, “we might be able to use some of them,” he disappeared back in the studio.

“What was that about?” Zacky walked over to me as Brian followed Matt inside.

I crossed my arms over my chest as I sighed, “lyrics.”

“Lyrics? Wait,” Zacky thought for a moment, “you wrote some? Can I see?”

“No, you can’t. Only Matt can see them. He’s going to perfect them, then you can all throw me a pity party,” I stoked back inside the studio.

Zacky was hot on my trail, “why would we do that?”

“Just leave it Zack,” I sat on the couch.

Arin walked in the room just then. A wide smile was playing on his lips. He walked over and plopped down next to me. I returned the pleasant smile as best I could. I laid my head on his shoulder as I listened to the guitar riffs being made by Brian in the sound booth.

I closed my eyes and thought back to the times when I was a kid. Most of my lyrics revolved around my younger years. The absent parenting, the non-existent social life, and the awkward growing stages.

“Luciana?” I felt a hand shake me.

“Wha-” I zoned back into reality.

“Are you alright there?” he asked.

“Of course I am,” I nodded as I stretched like a cat, “just a little tired.”

“So, when are you going to work your magic?” his tone was eager.

“Soon enough, love,” I patted his head and walked to the rest room.

I stared at myself in the mirror. The stages of growing up was worse then any other crap that happened in my life. I didn’t even mind not having friends and being a loner. I also didn’t care if my parents weren’t the best in the world. Being overweight sucked. Not having the best wardrobe also was a downer. The kids at school would be the worst. Bullying was a nightmare I had to go through everyday, until I turned fourteen and was fed up with it. I saw girls that age having dates and kissing already. I never even had a full conversation with a boy. Sure they asked for a pencil but, that was the end of it.

I stopped being the overweight girl that everyone ignored. I went on so many diets it made my head spin. I exercised every day, even though I hated every moment of it. I’ve lost friends because of my insane obsession with losing weight. It didn’t matter that they mentioned that I was still an attractive girl. I never felt that I was good enough.

Returning to the room, I was tackled to the bed. A pair of hands pinned me to the back of the seat and I smirked up to see the man’s face. His green eyes bore into mine. I laughed when he let go of me.

“Matt gets to see your lyrics and I don’t? I am so hurt,” he pouted.

“Sorry, bro. It’s kind of personal. I mean he is the singer. I think he knows a bit more about writing songs,” I sighed, straightening my top.

“The day is almost done,” Zacky put his arm around me.

“I know,” I rest my head on his shoulder, “and it sucks.”

“That it does,” I heard Arin’s voice.

“Arin,” I jumped from Zacky’s hold, “I am so happy to see you.”

“Me too.”

“Oh,” I smiled, “I see a little blush in those cheeks of yours. What is it??? Tell me!”

“Come with me,” he grabbed my hand and escorted me outside.

I was a little nervous to find out what was making Arin blush so much. I hope he didn’t have a crush on me. I was around the same age as him but, I didn’t feel that connection. I felt a sense of brotherly relations with him. I also did not want to disappoint him in any way, shape, or form.

“Okay,” he took a breathe, “I met someone.”

My eyes perked up, “Who?” I was skeptical.

“Well,” he bit his lip like a teenaged boy with a crush, “her name is Emily.”

“Oh,” I grinned at him widely, “tell me about her,” I sat down in the nearest seat.

I felt like a pre-teen, gossiping about the local new girl. I crossed my legs as I watched Arin take his own seat. I rested my chin on my fist, while I let my elbow sit against my knee.

“I met her today. I went to the coffee shop a couple blocks from here. You know how Brian gets with his hourly coffee fix. Well,” his cheeks reddened, “Emily is too adorable. She’s all shy but, once we got to talking, she opened up a bit. She’s like sunshine.”

I giggled, “I think you are smitten Mr. Ilejay.”

“I think I am, too,” he ran a hand through his rumpled hair.