A Blessing or a Curse

Chapter Eighteen: What She Doesn’t Know Won’t Hurt Her

“What is this?” I asked Carter as we pulled up into an empty parking lot, his car parked about twenty feet away from a large white projector screen.
“Ever heard of a drive-in movie?” he asked wrapping his right arm around my shoulder closing the distance between us. We were in his sleek, black pick-up truck so there was nothing blocking us.
I perked up and smiled at him. “Oh my gosh, this is on my bucketlist! I’ve always wanted to see one of these!” I couldn’t wipe the silly grin off my face.
He smiled down at me for a second before saying, “Good…I’m glad.” His voice was so soft and sincere.

Soon the movie began. It was ‘The Notebook’. Carter pulled out a humongous bag of gummy worms and lollipops and we silently began eating them.
“Say something in French.” He asked out of the blue after about thirty minutes of silence watching the movie.
“Why?” I looked at him a slightly amused smile on my lips.
“‘Cause, this movie is boring and I like it when you talk.” He shrugged. “So why not in French?”
“Que Voulez-vous que je dise?”
A small smile tugged at his lips and he looked down at me. “What does that mean?”
“What do you want me to say; in French.” I answered.
He put his pointer finger to his chin and pretended to think. “Hmmm, say my pussy does back flips in a handstand”
I started laughing and shaking my head. “Oh my God, I don’t know how to say that. Give me something else.”
He chuckled and said “Say you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“Like me? I’m the most beautiful girl in the world? Or you’re the most beautiful girl in the world?” I double-checked that’s what he meant.
“No, like you are. Lolita.”
“Je suis la fille la plus belle dans le monde.” I said a bit shyly.
“How do you say I agree?” he asked.
I blushed and bit my lip to hold in a girlish giggle. “Je suis d’accord.”
“Now say you’re the most beautiful girl in the world in French again.” He instructed.
“Je suis la fille la plus belle dans le monde.” I repeated.
“Je suis d’accord.” He smiled down at me. It was supposed to sound like “JEH- SWEE- DA-KORD” but he pronounced it like “GEE- WEE- DARAKORD”. I laughed lightly at his attempt to speak French but flushed pink at his cute compliment.
“You wanna hear something else?”
“Yeah, keep going.” His smile got even wider.
“Vous êtes mignon,” I began “Et je vous aime. Beaucoup”
“And that means…”
“You’re cute.” I flushed a bit when he gave me a cocky half grin, “And I like you a lot.”
He kissed my temple and said something I couldn’t understand in Portuguese. But I loved how it sounded. Every word rolled off his tongue with ease and grace, and with his husky deep voice it made it sound seductive.

His lips brushed my forehead where he placed another kiss which made me shiver slightly and he trailed his kisses down to my nose and placed another and to my cheek and then dangerously close to the side of my lip which made my heart beat double time and sent shivers down my spine. And while doing this he was whispering in Portuguese.

“What did you say?” I breathed out so low I was almost positive he didn’t hear me.
He tauntingly brought his lips to my ear and kissed it. “I said, ‘Você está literalmente a criatura mais bela que eu posto os olhos. Eu quero você. Eu preciso de você. Você é perfeito. Eu quero estar em você. Eu quero fazer você suar e gritar.”

The way he whispered in my ear, the way his cool breath brushed my face, it was like he wanted to sin with him. Like he wanted me to do the most ungodly but pleasurable things with him. And the good Lord knows if I had enough confidence to make the first move I would’ve.
He was teasing me. I knew it. I could feel it.

“What does that mean?” my heart was racing and my words came out like a rushed stutter. I bit my bottom lip and tried to take much more subtle breaths and calm down a bit.
He smirked down at me and pulled away and faced the movie. “I just said how pretty you are.”
I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “They’re must’ve been more…” I tried to get it out of him. “What’d you say?”
“Things I shouldn’t tell a little girl.” He winked at me. Was he referring to me as a little girl? “Like you.” He was referring to me as a little girl.
I frowned and crossed my arms. “I’m not a little girl Carter. You’re only three years older than me!”
“In my eyes you are. You’re so innocent and pure.”
“Not really.” I protested.
“Oh really? Well, are you a virgin?” he asked unashamed.
I blushed and nodded sheepishly.
“Have you ever given head?” he asked. “Or gotten head?”
I shook my head no.
“Handjobs? Anal? Anything of the sort?”
I just shook my head again.
“Have you ever killed?”
I widened my eyes at his question. Of course not! “No!”
“How often do you drink or smoke weed? If you do at all. I know most kids in High School do it like it’s no big deal, nowadays. What about you princess? Do you?” he asked me.
“I smoked this one time. At a party. And I’ve been drunk like only 4 times to be honest.” I replied.
“Do you shop lift?”
I just shook my head no again.
“See. Innocent.”

I sighed defeated. Is that really what he thought of me? A sweet, innocent girl with no experience in anything? I know I practically am, the farthest I’ve gone was kissing and I rarely do anything illegal or out of the ordinary but I did have a rebellious side.
It was actually extremely embarrassing he thought that of me. I didn’t want to make it seem like I wasn’t old enough or mature enough for him. I wanted to get him hot and bothered like he just did to me.

I was his mate. I should make him want to lust after me. I wanted to make him think more of me then just a sweet girl to corrupt. I’m sure I could if a tried. Could I?
Ugh, I am innocent and pure.

“I back-sass my teachers.” I blurted out in an attempt to impress him slightly.
He let out a raspy laugh and shook his head and brought his arm around me pressing me closer to his side. “Cute…” he chuckled.
Great. I was a cute, innocent, pure girl now.
After a moment of silence and just watching the movie I opened my mouth “I-is that a bad thing?” I asked shyly looking up at him.
“Of course not beautiful. I like you this way. You’re perfect just the way you are. Plus, I wouldn’t have wanted another guy on you like I want to be right now. Before or after me. You’re mine and only mine. And anybody who disagrees can kiss my ass and get his dick shoved up his any day.” He growled out. “Remember that Marilyn. You are mine.” He said seriously.

“Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend or something?” I grinned up at him. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. Oh God please let Carter say yes. Pretty please let him say yes.
He chuckled and nodded. “Guess so. You know you’re the youngest girl I’ve dated.”
I rolled my eyes and slapped his chest playfully. “Ugh, shut up about my age Carter!”
He just chuckled and kissed my forehead. God, his lips were so soft.

“Carter?”
“Hm?”
“What’s your biggest fear?” I asked him out of the blue.
“My biggest fear?” he looked at my questioningly.
I just nodded and waited for him to respond.
“Losing you or my avó.” He said.
I blushed and looked up at him. “Whose avó?”
“Avó is Portuguese for grandmother.” He explained “She’s my mother’s mom. She took care of me, Catalina and my two little sisters after my mother’s death. She just turned 72.”
“Aw, that’s so cute. I love old people.” I said.
He chuckled. “Yeah, me not so much. But I tolerate them. But my avó is my life. I love her so much. She’s taught me so much. She’s sick now. She can’t walk anymore; she has all these human diseases like diabetes, arthritis, osteoporosis and one or two more. After her wolf died she slowly did too.”
“I’m so sorry.” I sympathized.
“I had to put her in a nursing home because I can’t take care of her myself, I’d get a house nurse, but I wouldn’t want her living with me for safety issues.” He continued.
“Catalina and I are going to take her back to Brazil before she passes. They say she has a year, if we’re lucky two left. She was born there and wants to die there.” He was looking out the window, like he was zoned out. “I think that’d be nice for here. To die in Brazil.”
“I do too.” I agreed.

~

At the part where Allie was being proposed to by the handsome rich guy Carter shifted uncomfortably and said, “What happened to your parents?”
I sighed and starting playing with the ends of my hair. “They passed. Back in August last year.”
“You miss them?” it sounded more like a statement than a question.
“So much…” I didn’t mean for it to come out a whisper but it just did.
He frowned and started brushing my hair with his fingertips. I sighed again. “How? Did they die…”
“Umm…” I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. “Did you ever here about rogues and hunters attacking my pack? The Arctos Pack?”
Carter stared at me for a second as if something had troubled him, “Yeah…”
“Well, um they killed my mom, dad and older brother Daxon.” I mumbled thinking about the moment I last saw each of their faces. “They’re in a better place I suppose so…it’s whatever…”

I didn’t really want to go in depth about this topic. Although it happened nine months ago and the pain was dulled slightly and I was getting used to life without them, it was still a pretty hard topic. I mean your whole family dying isn’t a situation you shake off overnight.
I was never the one to cry in public or talk about my feelings and I wasn’t trying to now. Since they died I dealt with it alone and mourned them by myself. No one needed to know how hurt I was. It wasn’t their concern. I’m 16 years old, not 6. I don’t need someone to hold me while I cry or pat my back to make me feel better or like someone cares.

People die. Parents die. Siblings die. It’s a part of life, the end of it. I wasn’t special at all; thousands among thousands of kids are orphans like me and have lost brothers. So I shouldn’t stick out from the rest. You mourn and move on. That’s it.
Carter was quiet for a moment, lost in his own thoughts. “T-they died…that night? You’re sure?”
I shook my head and looked at him. His entire face went pale and his eyes dulled. He looked panicked and like he went into shock. I half-expected him to comfort me, not go into shock.
“Carter…are you alright?” I gave him a questioning look.
“I’m so sorry…” he croaked out in a breathy voice.
“I-it’s okay…” I said slowly looking at him with a worried expression. “What’s wrong? Why do you look so…startled?”

He then pulled away from me then turned his key in the ignition and turned the car and began to pull out of the Drive-IN movie theater. He headed towards the road without looking at me, his hands clenched in a fist grasping the wheel, his knuckles turning white. “Carter where are you going? We…we didn’t finish the date. I-I don’t get it.”
He kept his eyes on the wheel and clenched his jaw and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry princess. I-I…sorry… I-I don-don’t I oh- I um…fuck what…shit…I need to get you home. Now. Oh Shit. I am so sorry. Jesus Christ…what. I …”

My heart started to beat faster. Did he know something about my parents’ death that I didn’t? Why did he keep apologizing like he did something? “Carter, calm down. Relax.” I placed my hand on his shoulder and he brought his eyes to me. His were slightly glassy and flashed a look of pain. “What’s wrong?”
He just gave me a look I couldn’t decipher and turned back to the road. “I…shit…” he started breathing heavily.

“Carter! What is wrong? Tell me!”I demanded. I was beyond tired of him just switching moods in the flash of a second and disappearing and being so fucking secretive.
I was getting extremely impatient with him and fed up with him. “You need to tell me. Now.”
“I can’t baby girl,” his voice was strained and he sounded like he was in pain. “I just can’t.”
“Well, when can you?”
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to at all…”
He was speeding down the road at an unnecessary speed. He was heading toward the direction of my house.
“Carter…” I croaked out in an exhausted voice. “I’m tired of all these secrets. Please. Baby just talk to me.”
“I can’t princess…” he whispered.
“Stop it! You are being so annoying! Just fucking tell me! Whatever it is I can handle it! I’m sure! What did you do? Why was I kidnapped? Why are people after us? Why do they want to hurt you? What the hell did you do that was so horrible? Please! Tell me!” I blew up. I was fed up and wanted answers. Now.
“I can’t!” he cried. “I just can’t! You don’t understand what shit I just put myself into! What shit I put you into!”
I groaned in frustration and huffed out annoyed. “If it involves me I have every right to know. So you tell me now Carter!”
“Lolita, I am so sorry.”His voice lowered into a whisper. He pulled up a few houses from mine. “But I just can’t.”

“Why? I trusted you. Not many people know about my parents. I trusted you. So please tell me. Why the fuck you can’t trust me?” my voice sounded like a desperate plea which it was.
I wanted to know. I wanted to help Carter. He was my mate and whatever happened to him affected him greatly. I need to know. I had every right too. Especially since his mistakes were sucking me into the consequences. I need to know what I’m up against. Why people wanna hurt him.

“I do trust you…” his voice was defeated. “But I don’t wanna lose you. Not so soon.”
“Carter…” I breathed out. “Talk to me.”
“Lolita?”

I looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “Yes?” I said softly. Was he going to tell me? Finally.
I heard the doors of his car unlock and he sighed. “Go home.”