Behind My Mask

One of the things me and Jaime had in common was that we were never great fans of horror; we could never watch a horror movie on our own and without flinching. Though, Jaime could take it better than me.
It was a great thing that Kellin was there that we could depend on. I really just couldn’t understand how he could watch it without looking the slightest bit scared, and the same goes for Mike and Tony. All of them basically have as much fear as a fucking rock.

After the movie had finished I noticed that the Pizza was all gone without my contribution, and Mike had fallen asleep in what looked like the most uncomfortable position ever.
But I wasn’t really that hungry; after watching the most disgusting movie I have seen so far, excluding Saw (which I was forced to watch), I wasn’t exactly in the mood to eat.

Jaime didn’t seem as affected as me since he was the one eating most parts of the movie to distract himself from it. Kellin didn’t look very happy since some of the crumbs of the food Jaime was eating had gotten on him.
And now he was yelling “Who wants to play twister?!” to what everyone replied with a united ‘’No’’. Then he went on saying “What about spin the bottle?”
“We are all dudes here, so no” Mike replied; he had been rudely woken up with a pillow thrown forcefully at his face by Tony, who himself wasn’t much of a ray of sunshine himself.
“But-“
“No”
“Ok, well, what about truth or dare just with the whole bottle spinning” Jaime asked again; the idea didn’t actually didn’t seem bad so all of us just agreed.

We sat down in a circle, in the circle of beds, and Tony had put up some music in the back ground. It went in an order with me, Tony, Mike, Jaime and Kellin, and there was a glass bottle in the middle of the circle.
“I’ll go first since it was my idea” Jaime stated and spun the bottle weak enough for it not to go flying, which in the first attempt it did.
It had stopped somewhat between Mike and Tony, both of them looked at each other, and then at Jaime who just picked Tony because it’s his house.
“Truth or Dare?”
“Truth”
“Ok, so if you had to choose between us, who would you choose for a threesome?”
“Most probably Vic and Mike” he finally said after a moment of thought. Though I never expected Jaime to ask that sort of question in the first place, but I guess everyone can be unpredictable. Jaime looked slightly hurt that he wasn’t picked, but it was short lived since Tony was now spinning the bottle. It had landed directly back to Jaime, but then he just pointed to Mike, indicating for Tony to ask him the question.
“Dare” Mike had answered, he really would do any dare that would be thrown at him, so you could just go to extreme measures.
“Jump into the pool, naked, from the balcony” Tony said with a grin
“Isn’t that, like, gonna kill him?” I was slightly worried about my brother, I didn’t really want to return home and tell my parents that he had died because of a dare.
“I’ll be fine bro” he told me already getting up and taking off his shirt and sweats whilst walking to the balcony with us following from a safe distance. Before he stepped up on the ramp thing he took off his boxers. He looked down, mind you it was from the second floor, before looking back at us; he turned to me and said “If I don’t survive, delete my browsing history, please” and did a cannon ball into the pool.

“I’m alive!!” He shouted as his head got above the water.
After he had dried himself and gotten back to the circle he spun the bottle, which had landed on me. My brother gave me the same grin he did a few nights ago, and I instantly knew what he was thinking about. One way or another it was going to be connected with Kellin, so I just chose dare and hoped for the worst.
“You and Kellin, go next door and make out for solid two minutes, including tongue” I swear if his grin gets any wider his face will split in to two.
“What” I was sure I sounded dumb, and there was also a tiny squeak in my voice that I hoped to god no one heard.
“You heard me” He told me. Kellin had already stood up, not looking the slightest bit bothered by this, so I just followed suit. I guess if it wasn’t awkward for him it would make it slightly less awkward for me, and plus we would be on our own.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” I told him as I closed the door behind me
“It’s ok, it’s just a dare anyway” when I turned around I realized that he was already very close, too close for my comfort zone, but I guess it had to be done otherwise I won’t be able to live it down. Mike would just tease me for months on end and call me a wuss every breathing moment of my miserable life.

To my advantage the room was dim and actually had a comfortable atmosphere; the carpet we were standing on was soft in a dark, blood red colour, and the wallpapers were a creamy colour. Not that it really mattered, but thinking about the room’s interior helped me calm my nerves and fight down the embarrassment I had. Lately I haven’t been able to understand my own emotions; as cliché as it sounds, every time I would notice Kellin it was like for a second the power in my heart had been taken out and fluttering in my stomach, but the strange thing was I didn’t even know the guy that well, yet I felt a strong attraction towards him.

When there was nothing more for me to look at in the room, I turned my eyes to Kellin who was just looking right back at me. My guess was that he was looking at me the whole time, but I wouldn’t know. Without me even noticing he had stepped closer to me; his face was mere inches away and I could feel our breaths mingling together.
The room seemed to get much hotter than I remembered; I could feel his body heat even with the small distance we had, and also my embarrassment kept me warmer than needed.

Now that we were this close I took in every detail of his face; even in the dark lighting his eyes looked bright. It was actually hard to describe their colour, but they were beautiful to say the least.
His pale skin looked flawless, even with some of the bruises, and it contrasted with his silky looking black hair.
Despite my awkwardness it felt wonderful to have full attention from him; those eyes felt like they were staring into my soul, able to feel my emotions and hear my thoughts.

After what felt like the longest pause in my life, he stepped even closer, almost pinning me to the door, and pressed his lips to mine. All sorts of emotions exploded in my mind; happiness, excitement, anxiousness, but also a hint of sadness since it was just a dare. I knew it wasn’t real and he probably didn’t feel the same way I did, he was probably straight anyway.
I only now realized how much I wanted this. I hadn’t thought of Kellin in this sort of way all that much, I mean sure, I thought he was attractive to say the least, and I have wondered what it would be like to be together with him, but I just felt like I had no chance with him, and that he wouldn’t even appreciate my attention, so I didn’t even bother thinking that much about him, but now that his lips were on mine I was certain that I was going to fantasize about our lives together almost every moment I was conscious, and be like a school girl who experiences her first time of having a crush in her teenage years.

Just as I had thought, his lips were soft and smooth. They were cool from the surface; I had gotten Goosebumps from the strangely sensitive touch. It didn’t stop there though; Kellin had taken the lead by licking and biting my bottom lip, asking me for entrance to which I happily obliged to.

His hands had travelled from my hips, where they have been resting all this time, up to my neck, and were now tangling in my hair. With his actions I could tell that he was getting lost in this as much as I was, but I didn’t have much thinking power left in me; he was taking over my mind.
My hands were roaming over his body, unsure of where to stay, but eventually they had stopped on his back, pulling him closer to me just a little bit more.

Soft moans were escaping from both of us as our tongues were playing tug-of-war, trying to win dominance over each other, but this moment was over far too soon; knocking could be heard on the door, and I could clearly hear Mikes annoying voice telling us that our two minutes were over.

We broke apart; both of our breaths were slightly laboured, and even in the dark I could see that Kellin’s face was flushed. We took a few seconds to get our breathing back to normal and to sort our clothes out before leaving the room, to return back to the circle.

“Had fun my little lovebirds?” Mike had the exact same expression on his face, but this time I could also tell that he was thinking that he was right, and that he had won. I feared that it was something about my face that had told him that.
I took the nearest pillow and threw it in his face, telling him to shut up.

We continued on playing this game, but I couldn’t help thinking back to that one special moment; I kept on thinking if Kellin felt something special too, if he felt the same way I did. It had felt so real and full of strong emotions, it just felt so right and truthfully just bizarre, I honestly can’t describe how I feel at this moment and I know I am over thinking things again, but it is in my nature to assess everything possible, be it good or bad.
Thinking about the mini - make out session had lead to me remembering that someone had beaten Kellin up. I couldn’t think how any person in their right mind could beat someone such as Kellin up, no matter what the reason. I actually couldn’t phantom how they could beat anyone up, but the fact that it just happened to be Kellin, that he had to experience that pain too, just made me so angry, it almost overwhelmed me, but before it could get to that point I was snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Kellin speak.

“Truth” the word had been directed to Tony
“How far have you gone, and with who?” This question had interested me too
“You could say all the way, with this one guy, but don’t worry, I’m still an ass virgin” he said with a wink that I was sure was directed at me. At this particular moment I was extremely grateful for my dark complexion and the dim lights.

After a few more rounds, ridiculous dares and strange truths, we decided to play Call of Duty Black Ops 2 and whenever one of us dies we would have to take a shot of ‘Everclear’ which is known to be the strongest alcoholic drink ever, that has technically been banned, but since Tony was this loaded he could get his hands on anything.
It was nice to know that I was actually quite good at this game, I did, after all, spend endless hours on it.
About an hour into the game and Mike was already out; his speech was slurred and he couldn’t keep straight even while seated down. I knew for a fact that he wasn’t that bad at the game; he just wanted to get drunk.
Jaime was slightly tipsy, and he was just giggling while controlling the character, finding it amusing how he could make it do whatever he wanted.
Tony was known for having an extremely high tolerance, but it was visible that the alcohol had taken a toll on him as well.
Kellin seemed to be not completely with us, but giggling every so often showed us that he was still alive.
As for me, I had only taken two shots so far, and I could feel my senses slipping from me. I felt all the worries that I had, magically lift from me, and that I could truly do anything. But even in this state of mind I couldn’t help but think. I had to always think, I was never able to completely clear my mind and relax. I knew that I was always going to be tense, and never able to fully enjoy myself in anything that I did because I would always think of something that would ruin it.

After my 5th shot I had given up completely; I no longer understood what I was doing, and the game had been abandoned by everyone as they themselves looked completely unable to control their movements, and that included Tony who probably had the most shots out of all of us, but once I had seen Mike who basically pounced on Tony, it made me doubt myself in many ways.
Since I was this wasted I couldn’t really give two fucks about them, instead I was focusing on trying to find Kellin, or at least my balance. Every few steps I seemed to just fall over, but I was determined.
In the back ground I could hear Jaime laughing like a maniac, and I swear out of the corner of my eye I could see Tony and Mike make out.
Eventually I had spotted Kellin, who was just laying across on one of the beds, in a kind of uncomfortable position, so I joined him, not really understanding what I was doing.