Our Story

“Twirl,” I say, looking down at my almost four-year-old daughter whose dress is another reminder of how much life has changed in the past five years.

“I like it!” She says excitedly, playing with the ruffles on the skirt. “Can we get it?”

I laugh and shake my head. “We have to make sure Aunt Eliza likes it before we buy it, baby.”

“Why?” She pouts.

“’Cause it’s her wedding,” I remind her. “And so she gets to have the final say.”

Instead of pouting, a big smile spreads across her face. “And then Theo’s gonna be my uncle?”

I nod and can’t contain my smile. “And then Theo’s gonna be your uncle.”

“Are you and daddy ever gonna get married?” She asks innocently. I know she doesn’t mean to upset me, but the question stings a bit.

“Maybe someday,” I sigh, unzipping the dress. She allows it to fall off her body before she flings it my way and begins getting dressed.

Back when I was still pregnant with Annabelle, Alex and I used to talk about the idea of marriage all the time. We were sure we were going to get married eventually, but becoming parents has pushed those plans back. Especially when we had our son, Cole, two years ago. He, much like his sister, was a surprise and we struggled to adapt to being the parents of two kids. To top it all off, All Time Low struggled to remain relevant with their fans with long gaps between tours and albums. So the boys upped their touring schedule and time in the studio, despite growing families.

“Do you love daddy?” Annabelle asks, pulling her shirt over her head. She stares at me intently.

“Very much,” I answer honestly.

“Do you love me and Cole?”

“More than the world,” I nod.

She wraps her tiny arms around me and takes a deep breath. “Then will you buy me this dress?”

I can’t hold back the laughter. “Annabelle, you are a little trickster,” I giggle. “I’m not buying this until Aunt Eliza okays it.”

- - -

“So, are you still okay with Eliza getting married?” Noelle eyes me from across the table.

“I think so,” I nod slowly. “It’s hard not to be a little jealous, but I really am happy for her.”
She takes a sip of her iced tea and eyes me hard. It’s difficult not to notice the ring on her finger and even more difficult to stomach the idea that all of my closest friends are already married.

“Are things still okay between you and Alex?”

No.

“I guess,” I shrug, then bury my face in my hands and shake my head. “Things suck, Noelle. Things are rough.”

As much as I love Alex, it’s impossible to deny the fact that things have been going downhill over the past few months. His touring has taken a toll on our relationship and it’s been a constant source of new arguments.

“I’m ready for him to be home for the summer so we can work things out,” I say. “He hasn’t been home for more than eight weeks in almost two years.”

“It’ll be nice to have them home, for sure,” She agrees. “Adam has decided lately that he likes to be naked and you know what, I’m putting that on Jack to sort out.”

“Jack will only encourage that behavior,” I point out with a laugh.

“I know,” She cracks a smile. “Those damn Barakat boys and their nudity.”

This afternoon I’m reminded how thankful I am that Noelle is my best friend. She listens to every complaint and worry I can spit at her and only offers solutions when I ask for them. It’s nice knowing that she lives close by and is willing to help me out when she knows I’m struggling.