Trace Your Shadows

THEN

Lex was a giggling mess when they arrived back at her house, laughing loudly every time her brother tried to shush her to prevent waking up their parents. She’d excitedly told both Adam and Fiona about a guy she’d met when she had gone off to get drinks, the ones she never actually got, and how he was an amazing kisser with tattoos and a six pack and she might be in love. Adam had scrunched up his nose at this, begging for no more details because this was his baby sister.

Once they were inside the house, Adam pushed Lex over to Fiona with a look. “She’s your problem now, Fi. Make sure she keeps quiet, can’t have the olds getting all up and arms about me getting you both home so late.”

“Yeah, I’ll take it from here. Thanks for the ride, Adam,” Fiona said with a nod, pulling her dazed friend along the corridor and into her room where Lex immediately splayed herself out on her bed and sighed happily.

“Tonight was awesome, Fi,” she gushed happily, eyes so bright from lust and vodka. “I’m so happy.”

“I’m glad,” Fiona amended sincerely, and she was. Lex was one of the best people she knew, always friendly, always wanting to meet people and have a good time and be in the moment of living, and she deserved good things. At the very least, a cute boy to kiss her and make her feel on top of the world.

Lex frowned suddenly, pushing herself up on her elbows to stare at Fiona intently. “Did you not have a good time? You’ve been quiet the whole ride home and now you’re acting all salty. What’s up?”

Fiona shook her head, trying on a smile. “No, no, I had a great time, Lex, really. Better than I thought I would. I’m just exhausted, is all.”

“Should have drunk those twelve buckets of coffee, like I told ya!” Lex grinned before kicking off her shoes. “Also you should go shower so your parents don’t smell smoke and bad decisions all over you.”

Laughing at this, Fiona tossed a pillow at her friend before heading off to the bathroom to do just that, letting the hot water rinse off the night’s events and making sure to keep her thoughts clear from all things Pete Wentz.

*

Fiona arrived home mid-morning the next day, leaving a half hung over Lex to sleep off the night before. She was hoping to avoid Pete for, well, ever really because she couldn’t figure out why the hell she was so upset over what happened last night and she didn’t really have the energy to even try to tackle such a problem.

However, Pete seemed to have other ways to keep himself on her mind as the minute Adam dropped her off outside her house with a friendly wave, she spotted Pete lounging out in the front yard, shirtless. He raised his head when he heard the car and she could feel him watching her as she said goodbye to Adam and headed inside. He didn’t make an effort to speak to her, which she was both thankful for and hurt by, but he didn’t take his eyes off her either until she was well within the house.

“Does that boy own any shirts?” her father grumbled as he passed through the living room, giving a disgruntled look out the window at where Pete had resumed his sunbathing. “Hey sweetheart, how was Lex’s?”

Fiona smiled tiredly at her dad, leaning in to kiss his cheek in greeting. “It was great, dad. Really fun. Exactly what we needed, I think, just time to hang out together.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that,” her dad answered with a smile, before a look of concern touched his face. “You look tired though, are you feeling okay?”

“Just fine dad, just super tired. Lex kept me up all night, gossiping and watching movies,” Fiona lied, letting out a silent sigh of relief when her dad let out a laugh, buying into her lies.

“Oh please, don’t put all the blame on Lex, I know you’re as much at fault as she is,” he replied before pressing a kiss to her hair and she was grateful she had taken Lex up on that shower offer.

“Go get some rest, bub. You’ll feel better.”

“Might go for a run first, I think. Can’t get lazy!”

Her dad beamed at her, giving a nod of approval. “You’ve got much more motivation than me, kid.”

With that said, Fiona made her way up to her room, dumped her bag before changing into her running gear and heading outside. She tried her hardest not to look over at the Wentz household but failed miserably, casting a glance into their front garden to see that Pete was no longer stretched out in the sunlight. Shaking her head and reminding herself that she didn’t care, Fiona took off in the opposite direction.

She wasn’t even sure why she was upset; after all, she didn’t have the right to think Pete owed her something just because they had talked a few times. It wasn’t like her offer to listen immediately equated into friendship and she knew this, yet she just couldn’t stop thinking that he didn’t have to write her off so easy or act so embarrassed to be caught speaking to her.

Fiona pounded the pavement harder, pushing herself further and further to get away from these thoughts because she felt downright stupid. To feel like this just proved the age difference between herself and Pete, and really, she thought she was much too mature to be acting like some sulking bratty teenager.

Just when Fiona was beginning to forget about why she was angry at Pete in the first place, she heard the sound of someone running up behind her, their breathing heavier than hers.

“Wait,” they gasped, “Fiona!”

Fiona stopped abruptly, turning to see Pete holding his side and trying to jog over to her. Her suspicions were correct, even as athletic as he looked, he wasn’t in shape at all and with the way he was breathing, those cigarettes weren’t helping. She mindlessly wondered how he managed to find the lung capacity for all that screaming if he couldn’t even run down the street without puffing.

By then, Pete had managed to get his breath back, grinning up at her easily. “You weren’t joking when you said you were good at this running stuff, huh?”

Fiona’s lips twitched at this. “I don’t wanna say I told you so, but I told you so.”

“Ha,” Pete responded, closing the distance between them and suddenly Fiona felt trapped. “So did you get home okay? After last night, I mean?” Pete continued conversationally.

“Hmm, I’ll get back to you on that. I’m still navigating my way home now, actually,” she replied dryly, but couldn’t hide the hint of a smile edging into her voice while Pete rolled his eyes playfully.

“Very funny, Fi. Hilarious even,” he answered before suddenly turning serious. “I just… I was just wondering because you left pretty quickly yesterday and I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay. That, ah, that we’re okay.”

Fiona was quiet for a moment, selecting her words wisely. “Is there a reason we wouldn’t be okay, Peter?” she questioned lightly, turning back to the path and continuing to walk while Pete followed, his expression exasperated because she had him caught and he knew it.

“God, you’re good at this,” he sighed, shoulders slumping. “Okay fine, I thought maybe you were a bit upset over me… I don’t know, brushing you off a bit last night?”

A loud laugh escaped Fiona, surprising both herself and Pete. “A bit? Try total dismissal. The moment that dude showed up, you dropped me and tried to act like we hadn’t even been talking. I mean, what’s up with that? I mean, okay, I get it, we’re not friends and I don’t expect you to start introducing me like I am or whatever, but we’re at least neighbors Pete. I don’t know what it is about me that makes you so embarrassed to be seen with me.”

“Whoa, hey, who said we weren’t friends?” Pete asked quickly, looking genuinely surprised by this and that took Fiona off guard.

“I – err, you did? I guess? I mean, if we were, wouldn’t you have introduced me as such?” Fiona tried, focusing her attention on the path ahead and not the confusing boy beside her. “But like, I get that Pete. We’ve known each, properly known each other, like a month or so?”

“You seriously think we’re not friends?” Pete asked again, before grinning widely. “We’re totally friends. I mean, I climbed into your bedroom at four in the morning, I don’t just do that for anyone, you know.”

Fiona couldn’t help but to laugh at this, shaking her head with a smile. “Okay, so alright, we’re friends. But are we the type of friends who are only friends when there’s no one around or what? I need to know here, Pete, wouldn’t want to embarrass you.”

Pete sighed loudly, running a hand through his hair. “Fuck, okay, Fiona I’m sorry, okay? You’re not embarrassing, not in the slightest and I know this sounds weird but what I did last night had nothing to do with you. Those guys… they’re not the best type of dudes, if you get what I’m saying.”

“Then why do you hang out with them?”

“I guess… I mean, they show up to watch my shitty band play and they know how to have a good time. They also can get their hands on a lot of alcohol and they treat me like I’m… I don’t know, I feel good around them. I feel good in the most egotistical, self-centered way and sometimes I hate that but most of the time I just lap it up,” Pete admitted, and it felt good to say it out loud. “The point is, I wanted to hide you from that. They’re complete jerks, and I wanted to make sure they’d leave you alone by making it seem like I didn’t really know you. If I don’t know you, they think they shouldn’t either.”

There was a pause, neither of them speaking, when Pete sighed again. “That sounds stupid, I know. It sounds like some big over exaggerated lie to not seem like an asshole but I promise that’s the absolute truth.”

“It’s okay, Pete,” Fiona replied, giving up a small smile in the process. “It was dumb of me to get upset over it anyway, you don’t owe me anything. Just so you know.”

“Yeah, I do, Fi. It may seem like we’ve only talked a few times but you don’t know much those times mean to me.” Pete was looking at her now, intensely and she swallowed roughly, unsure where to go from here. “You’re important.”

Fiona could barely process this and most definitely couldn’t reply directly, so she blurted out the first thing that comes to mind. “Do you have any real friends? Like non-jerk friends?”

Pete laughed at this, his wide smile bright and dimpled as he nodded his head. “Yeah actually, I do. Big shock, huh? Maybe, if you’re very good, I’ll even introduce them to you. How’s that?”

“You ass,” Fiona mumbled through a grin as she moved to shove Pete in the ribs while he chuckled and contorted out of the way.

“Manners, young Fi, respect your elders!”

“Oh that’s right, you’re old now, aren’t ya? How was your birthday anyway, during the parts I didn’t see you?”

Pete shrugged, smile fading. “Yeah it was good, I guess. Playing a gig made it pretty awesome. Speaking of, I’m late for a meeting with the band so I should get back. Enjoy the rest of your run.”

“Yeah, alright,” Fiona nodded before calling out to him. “Hey Pete?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for clearing things up, even when you didn’t have to.”

Pete just shrugged, ducking his head with a little grin. “Can’t have my friend being mad at me now, can I?” he questioned, before turning back and walking away.

Fiona stood still for a while longer, watching his retreating back with a smile on her face. Friend. It sounded nice. It felt right.