Never Fall For You

-Kat-

You know that feeling you get when you know something bad is about to happen? Or that something bad has already happened, and you’re about to find out about it? It kind of makes your heart race, and you feel anxious for no reason, that you know of. And then every conversation you have with someone, you’re just waiting for it. That proverbial bomb to drop.

That’s exactly how I felt when I woke up at Hunter’s house late the next morning. I didn’t get quite drunk enough that I couldn’t remember everything that had happened the night before. I’d even managed to put myself in bed on my own. But as I descended the stairs, heading into the kitchen, where I knew everyone would already be hanging out - I’m always the last one awake - I couldn’t help but notice the dark feeling that seemed to hang over me. And I couldn’t figure out what it was. That was, until I reached the last step right before the bottom of the stairs, and I could hear everyone talking. They couldn’t see me; I was still hidden by the kitchen wall, but I could definitely still hear them.

Someone was crying. Phee? I couldn’t tell. Then Hunter said “I can’t believe this happened. I made sure he got into bed myself. He was upset, but he seemed content in bed. I didn’t even think he was that drunk.”

Who? And what happened?

“He must have snuck out when we all went to sleep” Jason said.

“I c-can’t believe h-he’s…” That was Phee, stuttering out the words between sobs.

He’s what? Who’s ‘he’?!

“And who’s going to tell Kat?” I recognized Tyler’s voice. Even he sounded upset, and I could feel my heart drop into my stomach when I realized that there was one voice I hadn’t heard. Someone who should’ve been there, because I talked him down when he was so upset, and I sat with him the remainder of the party, and talked, and listened as he vented.

I stepped into the kitchen slowly, everyone turning to face me as I made my presence known. They were all silent, each trying to decide what to say, I’m sure. I stopped, a few feet away from them, and stared at them, as they all stared back at me.

“Kat…” Jason said, hopping off of the bar stool that had been holding him up, as he leaned against the center island.

“Where’s Aaron?” I asked, my voice cracking. “Where is he? Why isn’t he here?”

Jason stepped closer to me, and grabbed one of my hands.

“Kat, Aaron left some time after we all went to bed” he said. “We just got a call from his mom…” He paused, and took a deep breath. “Aaron got into a car accident. He was drunk, and hit a tree going somewhere between eighty-five and ninety miles an hour.”

I shook my head, tears filling my eyes as I stared up at Jason.

“No” I whispered, my voice raspy and uneven. “W-we have to go see him! We have to make sure he’s okay!”

I grabbed my car keys off of the counter, and began pulling my boots on.

“Kat” Jason said, but I ignored him. I had to make sure Aaron was okay. He was my best friend. “Kat” Jason said again, his voice louder, and harder this time. He pulled my arm roughly, so that I was standing up again, and facing him. “Kat, Aaron didn’t make it…”

And that was it. I lost it completely. A large amount of tears flowed uncontrollably from my eyes, and I dropped to floor sobbing. I couldn’t believe it. I’d literally just talked to him. I mean, I knew he was upset about Claire, but I never expected anything like this. I thought I had talked him down. I had comforted him when he was crying outside. I brought him inside, and we sat in one of the spare bedrooms with a bottle of tequila, and talked and drank, and talked some more.

“It’s my fault” I murmured.

“What?” Jason asked kneeling down, and rubbing my back with his large hand.

“It’s my fault” I said again, the tears flowing even harder. “I was talking to him last night. I kept pouring us shots, I got him drunk. It’s my fault!”

I suddenly felt Jason’s arms wrap around my body, and he pulled us both up so that we were standing. He held me at arms reach, looking down at me.

“Kat, look at me.” I couldn’t. “Look at me, Kat. Now.” His voice shook, and I opened my swollen eyes to look into Jason’s face. Even his eyes were brimming with tears. “It is not your fault” he said, his voice rough. “You did nothing wrong. You didn’t know that he would sneak out. None of us did. I don’t ever want to hear you blame yourself again.”

And then he pulled me into such a tight hug, I was sure he was going to crush my bones. But I didn’t complain. I just merely wrapped my arms around him, and buried my head in his chest, and just cried. And eventually, everyone else made their way over to us, wrapping their arms around each other, and us.

And you know what? For one small, and short-lived moment, it felt like everything would be okay.