Never Fall For You

-Jason-

I’ve come to the realization that the more you want to talk to someone about something that you feel is important, the fewer opportunities you’ll have to do so.

I don’t know, maybe I should have been satisfied with the fact that I was able to apologize to Kat. But the thing is; I wasn’t. I never got her response. She was never able to tell me if she forgave me, or that she hated my guts, or that I was the worst kissing partner ever. I guess a small part of me just wasn’t going to be satisfied until she felt the same way that I felt about her.

Anyway, the rest of the week I tried to get her alone, or at least alone enough that I could ask her if she forgave me or not. Something, or rather someone, always seemed to get in the way. And the worst part of it was, if I didn’t get to her before Sunday, I’d have to wait another two weeks until I would see her again.

You see, Kat and Phee have always gone to Phee’s parents’ beach house for the first two weeks of the summer. And it’s not that I couldn’t wait… I just didn’t want to.

By Friday, after quite a few failed attempts at talking with Kat, I’d finally given in to the idea that I was going to have to go to her house and talk to her. It would be awkward; I’d only been to Kat’s house unaccompanied by my parents a few times. Not to mention, I might make an even bigger fool of myself. She might consider this invading her privacy. But no matter; I had to talk to her.

Of course, that night, after dinner, just as I was getting ready to walk over to her house, I saw Kat walk out to her car, then speed down the road. I decided to wait to see if she’d be coming back any time soon.

She didn’t.

So I went to bed, sleeping a restless sleep, anxious about the next day, and hopeful. I woke up a little after eight in the morning, took a shower, fixed my hair - something I never do, then stood in my closet for far longer than any man should, trying to decide on something to wear. I finally decided on a pair of black jeans and a light blue v-neck. Something about light blue just really seemed to go well with my dark hair.

I took a couple of deep breaths, then scolded myself silently for being such a baby. Then, I headed downstairs, and to the front door.

“Where you headed to, my other handsome man?” Mom asked, coming up behind me.

I scratched my head, not sure of what to say. Then, I sighed, finally saying “I just need to talk to Kat really quickly. I’ll be right back.” I dodged out of the door quickly, before she had time to ask me anymore questions. I walked across the narrow road, then through the lush grass that covered the Lawrence’s front yard. I walked up their dark wood steps, and pushed the doorbell.

Heather answered the door. She had an apron on, and there was flower on her cheek, and in her long blonde hair. She was always baking something amazing. She smiled when she saw me, but I could see the confusion written clearly across her face.

“Good morning, Jason” she said, looking up at me. Kat inherited her height - or lack there of, rather - from her mother. “Did your mother send you over?”

I shook my head. “No ma’am” I said, taking a deep breath. “I was actually wondering if I could talk to Kat.”

She raised her eyebrows, then ran a flower covered hand through her hair. “Sure, honey” she said, smiling. “Let me go wake her.” She checked her watch, and I immediately felt like an idiot for coming over so early.

I stood on the porch for what felt like forever. I had just about talked myself out of talking to Kat. My heart was pounding in my ears, and my stomach was turning. And, just as I turned around, and started heading back towards my house, I heard the door creak open again.

“Jason?” I soft voice called, and I sighed heavily, then turned back around.

“I’m sorry” I said immediately. “I should have known you were still sleeping. I should still be sleeping.”

I looked at the small girl. She was beautiful even when she first wakes up. Her long hair was pulled into a messy bun on top of her head that kind of flapped around when she moved, and she was wearing baggy, gray sweat pants, and a black tank top. The legs of the pants were too long, and she stepped on them as she walked out of the doorway, and to the bottom step of the porch. I walked back over to her. Even with her standing on a step, I still towered over her.

She offered me a sleepy smile as she looked up at me with those big brown eyes I’d fallen in love with.

“It’s okay” she said, yawning. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no” I answered quickly. Then there was a long pause, before I said “Actually yes.”

She raised her eyebrows, and waited for me to continue.

I cleared my throat, and looked at the ground, before looking back up at her.

“You see” I began. “Monday, I apologized for something that I’m not sorry for. I’m not sorry that I kissed you. I’m not sorry at all. In fact, I should have kissed you a lot sooner than that so you would know…” I let my voice trail off as I began losing my nerve.

“Know what?” she asked in a small voice. She was biting her lip, and she kept looking away from me, but I could see her cheeks turning a slight pink color.

I stepped closer to her, scratching my head.

“Kat, these past seventeen years, I have been a total and complete ass to you. I’ve treated you like shit, and made of you, and you’ve always given it right back to me, and rightfully so. But I’ve realized something recently. I don’t hate you. Far from it, obviously. I wouldn’t have kissed you otherwise.” I took a deep breath, and then stepped even closer so that we were mere inches away from each other. “Kat, I am totally, and whole-heartedly in love with you. I think I have been for a while now.”

I could feel my voice wavering as the words tumbled clumsily out of my mouth, and I looked down at my violently shaking hands.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way” I continued. “But I just… I had to get that out.”

She was silent. In fact, she wasn’t even looking at me. She was staring at the ground. As time passed, I started losing my confidence. Then I realized how stupid this whole thing was.

My God, Jason, what have you done? I thought.

I cleared my throat, scratching my head again.

“O-okay” I stuttered out. “I’m going to back home now.”

I turned around, and began walking, shaking my head as I mentally yelled at myself. This whole thing was ridiculous. Horribly, awful idea.

I was about halfway across her front yard, when I felt a hand grab onto my hand.

“Jason” Kat said, softly, tugging at my hand, so I turned around to face her. She was looking at our hands, biting her lip cutely. Then she looked up at me, a smile tugging at her lips. “You can’t drop all of that on me, and then walk away.”

I tilted my head to the side, looking down at her.

She sighed, then rolled her eyes as a smile spread across her lips.

“I really want to kiss you” she said, standing on her tip toes. “But I can’t reach your lips.”

I chuckled loudly, as a tsunami of relief crashed over me. I leaned down, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, crashing her lips into mine. And, after a very long moment - that I enjoyed very, very much - she pulled away, grinning.

“And yes” she said. “You were an asshole to me. But I am also totally, and whole-heartedly in love with you. And I think I always have been.”

And, just like that, we were kissing again, and it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist. It was just me, and the girl that I had fallen in love with.