Only Hate The Road When You're Missing Home

Max sighed as he dropped his suitcase by the door. In a few hours he was leaving again for a tour. Sometimes he just wanted to stay home but he couldn’t, this was his job and he loved every single part of it. Ok, sometimes he hated to be with his band 24/7 but he absolutely loved to play in front of so many people.. Max heard some soft footsteps in the hallway, that’s when he realised he didn’t tell her he was leaving. He forgot it, again!“Why do you never tell me when you’re leaving?” she yelled at him, Max bit his lip. “Teagan, babe, I’m so sorry but I’ve been bussy and we don’t hang out that much anymore... I think the only times a day I see you is when you wake up.. Hell, not even then sometimes” Max sighed, Teagan stared at him with her big, blue eyes which were outlined with black eyeliner. “It’s not my fault” Teagan mumbled softly, wiping away her tears with the sleeve of her jacket. In fact it was Max’ jacket but Teagan loved to wear it. “Why not?” Max asked, sounding a bit rude. Max noticed that Teagan had been ignoring him for a few weeks now and he was getting tired of it. “You know what, Max? Just leave!”she yelled, Max’ mouth fell open. “What? Teagan! We share this apartment, you can’t kick me out with absolutely no reason” he said to her, in a really calm and soft tone. “No Max, just leave” she said and opened the door. Even though Teagan was a short, skinny girl she had the force to pick up his suitcase and throw it in the hallway. “Teagan, stop being like that” Max said and stepped outside to pick up his suitcase but as soon as he was in the hallway Teagan locked the door behind him. He realised he left his key inside so there was no other choice then go outside.



Teagan turned on the radio and as soon as she heard Passenger, she started to cry again. She hated having fights, especially when it was with Max. Since they lived together, Teagan started to have some feelings towards Max. It was weird because it felt so wrong in her mind but so right in her heart. Softly she started singing along. “Well you only need the light when it’s burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go. Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low, only hate the road when you’re missing home...” Teagan stopped singing and started thinking about that one line: “Only hate the road when you’re missing home.” When Max was on tour, he always called her to tell her he missed her, that he missed home... In the last few weeks Teagan had been ignoring Max because she couldn’t control her feelings for him. Every time she saw him, she wanted to kiss him, hug him, tell him she loved him so much and how she didn’t want him to leave on another tour but touring was a part of his job. Max thought it would be better not to tell Teagan when he left for tour again but it always ended up the same: Teagan would yell at him and cry, he would comfort her, they would watch ‘Bartok the Magnificent’ or ‘August Rush’ because those were Teagan’s favourite movies and at the end of the day the band would come and pick up Max for tour but this time was different because Teagan fucked it up. Why did she have feelings for Max? And why were they so strong?



Max was sitting on the doorstep of his apartment he shared with his ‘best friend’, Teagan. They had known each other since Teagan moved to England. Max had a lot of friends but he wasn’t as close to them as he was with Teagan. She had something special, something he couldn’t put his finger on. Sure some people thought Max and Teagan were ‘more’ than just friends but Max couldn’t imagine that. Actually he never really thought of being something more with Teagan.. Max looked up at the clouds. It was the end of October, November was coming soon. The sunny days were long gone and the rainy days of the autumn turned into the snowy days of the winter. Max had called Josh to come and pick him up since his car keys were still inside and Teagan refused to let him in. Even though Josh and Teagan were close Max knew Teagan wouldn’t call him because he was leaving with Max. If she called someone to come over it would’ve been her best girl friend, Magnolia, but she didn’t walk into the building. Since Max had been sitting there, no one walked in or out. “Why are you sitting outside?” Josh asked Max, Max sighed. Josh was Max’ best male friend, they met at some local gig when they were about 14 years old. Max went there with Teagan... “Teagan kicked me out” Max sighed, Josh looked at him in a weird way. “What? You two share that apartment since you were 19 and now she kicks you out?” Josh asked confused, Max sighed again. “She’s been acting weird since we moved to that apartment but now she’s been ignoring me for weeks” he said, looking up at Josh because he was still sitting on the doorstep. “I think I know why she acts like that” Josh spoke softly, Max looked up. “Come, I’ll explain it later” he said.



Teagan was looking sadly out of the window as she saw Max and Josh leave. She sighed deeply. “I can’t do this anymore” she breathed out deeply and stood up. Teagan took a suitcase from under her bed and started packing things. Being good at multitasking, she immediately called her brother, Thomas. “Hello?” his soft voice sounded from the other side. “Thomas, could you please pick me up?” she asked, sounding like she was going to burst out in tears, again. “Teagan, what’s wrong?” he sounded very concerned about her. “I got in a fight with Max... And I can’t do it anymore, I’m leaving” she said, Thomas sighed. “Teagan, why don’t you tell him you’re in love with him?” Thomas asked, she rolled her eyes. “It’s not that easy” she mumbled. “And running away from him is easier? It’s going to break his heart, Teagan” Thomas said, Teagan shook her head even thought Thomas couldn’t see it. “It is easier, just come and pick me up” she said in an annoyed way, Thomas sighed again. “Ok, but I don’t think it’s a good idea” he said and hung up. Teagan was looking through photos. One’s of her when she was little, some of her and Thomas and some of her and Max. The ones with Max were in a different alum. For a second she thought about leaving them here but she couldn’t, Max was her best friend even though she was leaving him right now. She sighed and put them also in her suitcase, just in case she was going to miss Max. When Teagan had all her stuff packed she ran into the kitchen and wrote a note to Max, waiting for Thomas to arrive.



Max was sitting in Josh’ living room with the boys. “You guys are not serious, Teagan doesn’t like me” Max mumbled, Josh rolled his eyes. “Yes she does!” he said, Max shook his head. “No, she would’ve told me” Max said back, Dan rolled his eyes. “She thinks you don’t like her in that way, that’s why she hasn’t told you” Dan said, Max shook his head. Was he really that blind? Did Teagan really like him or even love him? “You’re just blind, mate” Chris laughed, everyone joined him but Max was still thinking about it. “I need to talk to her” Max said simply, everyone looked at him. “Mate, she kicked you out...” Dan mumbled, Max nodded and stood up. “I know that, but I need to talk to her” Max said sternly, Josh sighed. “Just, why?” he asked, Max sighed deeply. “Because..... Because, I think I love her too” Max mumbled, everyone grinned. “Sure you do” Matt laughed, Max rolled his eyes. “Guys I’m serious! Now, could anyone drive me to my apartment because I didn’t bring my own car?” he asked, Matt nodded. “Yep, sure” he laughed.



Teagan was sitting in Thomas’ car. “Where to?” he asked, sounding a bit rude. Thomas thought she was making a huge mistake, she just knew it. “I was going to say the airport but I think it’s better to stay in England, maybe just for a few more days but I am definitely leaving the country” Teagan mumbled. “What!?” Thomas screamed, quickly looking aside to his sister but forced his eyes back on the road. “I don’t know yet” she mumbled, Thomas rolled his eyes. “And where do you want to go then?” he asked, Teagan grinned. “Paris” she said, Thomas was shocked. “Paris!? No, Teagan please! Just stay in England until their tour is over and then go and talk to Max, maybe he feels the same way” Thomas said to his younger sister but she refused to listen to him. “I stay a few more days in England and then I’m leaving to Paris” she said, Thomas rolled his eyes. “And what if Max comes and tells you he loves you?” he asked, Teagan turned white. “Don’t say that” she whispered and stared out of the window. “But what if?”Thomas asked again but Teagan decided to ignore it.



Max was staring out of the window of Matt’s car. As soon as Matt stopped the car in front of Max and Teagan’s apartment Max got out and ran inside. He took two stairs at the time. There he stood, in front of the apartment door. He knocked, no one opened the door. Max took a step back and leaned against the wall when he suddenly saw something laying on the floor, which looked like a spare key. Why would Teagan put the key there? Max opened the door with the key and stepped inside their apartment. “Teagan?” he called out for her but there was no answer. “Teagan!?” he yelled, still no answer. Max looked around, the apartment seemed empty. He walked into the hallway, straight to Teagans room. He knocked the door. “Teagan?” He asked and pushed the door open. He was shocked. Her room was empty. Of course, her bed was still there and her desk but all her stuff was gone. Her clothes, her photo’s, her personal belongings, everything was gone. “Teagan, this isn’t funny!” he yelled out, walking out of her room to the kitchen. Of course she wasn’t there either but there was something else, a note on the table. This wasn’t good. As soon as Max realised that it was Teagan’s messy handwriting he thought of everything that could’ve happened to her...

Max,
I’m really sorry but I can’t do this anymore. I love you so much it hurts me to see you, just not realising it. Since we moved in together I started to get feelings for you, I don’t know why! I really love you...
When you’re on tour and you call me and you end the conversation with ‘I love you’ my heart stars racing but I know that we both have another definition for these three words.
I am leaving, not forever, I guess, but I haven’t decided yet. Maybe I’ll come back one day, I just don’t know yet.
Max Michael Helyer, just know and realise that I, Teagan Eleanor Danials, love you...
I’m so sorry,
Teagan.

Max slid down against the kitchen cupboard and sighed. “You can’t be fucking serious” he mumbled with tears in his eyes. He fucked it up, just as he realised he loved her...