My Way Home

.......The drive home from BJ's Brewhouse seemed longer than the trip there, and the entire ride back Mom and Dad kept throwing questions at me left and right, more so Mom than Dad. When I told them I hadn't pursued any schooling since I left them, there was no stopping Mom as she went on a rant about not getting any younger and that the economy ain't what it used to be.

Regretting that I hadn't mustered up a lie like the one I fed them when they asked me why I came home, my head fell backward onto the seat and then rolled slightly to the left. I watched my other half gaze out his window with his lips pursed together. I thought back to the end of dinner, recalling the words he spat at me the minute Mom and Dad excused themselves for the restrooms.

"You've been missing for nearly three years and just when everyone has finally adjusted to life without you, you show up out of the blue with Mom and Dad ready to throw you a welcome home party like you came back from vacation or something," he hissed, throwing daggers across the table. "You should've just stayed missing, little sister."

Mom was still ranting as a weary sigh escaped my mouth and I adjusted my head over to the right so I could gaze out the window and up at the crescent moon.

Around ten-fortyish, Dad pulled into our driveway and the four of us unloaded from the silver Lexus RX 450h. Kennedy practically ran for the door, but before I could take a step forward Mom threw her arms around me and vigorously swayed us from side to side for the ninth time since she returned from work and nearly fainted at the sight of me.

"Mom," I grunted against her shoulder. "You know I'll still be here tomorrow morning, right?"

"Oh really?" she mocked as her grip around my neck fastened. "Because when I came to wake you up three years ago, your bed was empty and half your clothes were gone."

I sighed heavily and let my shoulders drop, another wave of guilt washing over me. "I'm sorry for running off the way I did. It won't happen again."

"You promise?" she asked, quickly drawing back to place her hands on my shoulders and looking down at me with earnest eyes.

I nodded my head and reiterated, "I promise."

A vibrant smile appeared on her lips as she snatched me into another tight embrace and my lungs endured a good ten seconds from lack of oxygen before Dad finally took hold of Mom's hand and pried her off of me. The three of us went inside, up the stairs, and I watched the two of them disappear into the master bedroom.

I looked to the left and guiltily watched Kennedy aggressively opening and closing the drawers to his dresser, yanking out an old tee and a pair of boxers to sleep in. The ever-present frown his lips had worn all throughout dinner was now even more apparent.

"Good night, Kenny," I offered in the smallest of voices.

"Yeah, whatever," he shot back, his gaze cast downward and his hand on the doorknob.

The sound of the door slamming shut paralyzed me from the waist down and I stood frozen in place, staring at the Third Eye Blind poster taped on his door. Feeling was eventually restored to my legs and I quickly moved into my old bedroom. Like the living room and kitchen, everything in the room was left untouched with the exception of my suitcase and duffle bag.

I brushed my teeth, removed the little make-up I had on, and was in the middle of changing into an extra-large Nirvana tee when Drunk interrupted the silence.

Groaning lowly, I fished for the black slender device from my purse and waited for the the buzzing to stop again. This time, he didn't leave a voicemail.

I chewed on my bottom lip, my mind and body arguing over whether or not to call him and explain everything now, but my body cheated when my forefinger moved onto the delete option and the notice that was there before, wasn't there now. I set the phone down at the edge of the nightstand, settled underneath the cotton covers, and had to count sheep in order to sleep.

The next morning I woke up somewhere between nine and ten and crawled out of bed to a quick shower. I got dressed into a burnt orange University of Texas tank, yoga pants, and black and white Puma shoes before heading downstairs to the kitchen with my phone in hand. Kennedy was seated at the island, eating a bowl of Lucky Charms and eyes glued to the latest issue of the AP Magazine.

I grabbed my own bowl, filled it halfway with skim milk, and cautiously sat down next to him. I poured the cereal into my bowl, put a spoonful of soggy grains and marshmallows into my mouth, and stared my brother, wondering if I should say anything.

"Where's Mom and dad?" I finally voiced.

"Work," he grunted, his eyes firm with an article about All Time Low.

I tried again. "What are your plans for today?"

He grunted again. "Nothing."

"Are you going to Rex's party tonight?"

"No."

I asked him a few more random questions but surrendered when the only other words, or rather noises, I managed to get out of him were gorilla grunts.

"Damn it, Kenny!" I shouted, slapping the palm of my hand down on the counter and throwing a glare in his direction. "Can you stop being such a baby for a few minutes and hear me out? I'm trying to apologize and explain what happened that night!"

"Well, I don't need nor want to hear your excuses!" he sneered, standing up from his seated position and towering over me with a glare much fiercer than mine. His chair toppled over with a loud bang and I jumped a little in my seat. "Save it for someone who fucking cares."

He abruptly spun his heel, stomped into the foyer, and the front door rocked the house as it slammed shut behind him.

I irritably sighed and took both of our bowls and dumped the remaining cereal into the garbage disposal. Deciding to stay in for the day, I plopped down in the middle of the couch and turned the television to Pretty Little Liars rerun. Suddenly, my phone began to buzz against the coffee table and I snatched the flat device into my hand.

August 09, 11:48AM
From: Paige
To: Me
Message: See you tonight, guest of honor!

I closed the message and tossed the phone aside with a sigh. I wasn't in the mood to party tonight, much less celebrate my coming home, but I couldn't disappoint my friends again.

I spent most of the day sitting on my ass, watching the Pretty Little Liars season one rerun before going back to my room around eight to get ready for my party. As I got undressed, my trance-like eyes watched my hand run across to my bare stomach before meeting with the fading black and blue spots scattered around my ribcage. The memory of how they ended up there entered my mind as I pressed a finger down on the sensitive skin and winced slightly at the minute pain rushing through the raised area.

'It's not his fault or yours, Sam,' I told myself over and over again. 'It's Duke's. This was all Duke.'

Snapping out of my thoughts, I changed into a strapless, violet cocktail dress and sparkly silver pumps and walked over to the vanity to throw my wild, wavy brown hair up into a messy high ponytail. Then I smeared on violet eye shadow, black eyeliner, and volumizing mascara.

A little past nine-thirty, I parked a few blocks down from Rex's place and the minute I stepped foot into the house, loud cheers deafened my eardrums as confetti and silly string were launched into the air. Numerous pairs of arms from my closest friends were thrown around my neck, shoulder, torso, and legs. Underneath the large pile-up, I had multiple fits of laughter and I realized just how much I missed these goofballs. Back in Austin, there wasn't anyone that I could really call 'friend' other than Ryan.

Paige managed to free me out of the tight mob and dragged me into the kitchen where Rex jokingly popped open a bottle of champagne. Moose poured everyone several rounds of drinks and after our fourth cup of Monster and Vodka was in our hands, Paige took hold of my arm again and pulled into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Some of the guys followed us and scattered themselves on the floor in front of us.

"So where the hell have you been all this time, Sam?" Garrett inquired, gazing up at me with his eyeballs at the very top of his sockets. He was laying on the white carpet with his feet farthest from us.

"Austin, Texas," I answered, taking a swig at my drink. "Ryan has family over there."

"Kenny told us you mentioned Ryan in your letter," Pat stated with a small frown. His legs where tucked against his chest with his arms wrapped around them, and his chin rested upon his kneecaps. "Are you still dating that loser?"

His remark stung me and I inhaled sharply. "He's not a loser." I took another breath and recovered myself and answered his question. "But no, I'm not with him anymore." Technically, it wasn't a complete lie considering I was here "with" them and not in Austin "with" Ryan.

"Is that what brought you home?" Jared asked, holding the brim of his Captain Morgan near his mouth.

I stared him straight in the eye as I thought of my next lie. My lips molded into a small smile. "Well, what's there left for me in Austin if not Ryan? Plus, I've really missed you guys."

A chorus of 'awes' erupted from the group as Max came back with what I think is my fifth cup. My hands were shaking from all the sugar in my system as my hazy mind blocked out the next topic our little group had moved onto. My eyes roamed the room in hopes of finding Kennedy, but instead I found John standing in a corner with Halvo, an arm around Melissa Olsen, and his other arm on her twin sister, Ashley. He threw his head back and laughed raucously at something Halvo must've said.

I nibbled on my lip in delight and drunkenness as I noticed how delicious John looked tonight, dressed in a white V neck, dark skinny jeans, and black Vans. My gaze wandered over onto the sexy mess he called hair, imagining the look on his face as I toyed with it and just how soft it would feel between my fingertips. My restless eyes then moved onto his face and for the first time, I realized how handsome he really was. But then again, that could be the UV Vodka talking.

I stood up from the couch and sauntered my way over to his group, swinging my hips left and right. I fought the smirk that was desperate to form when John spotted me and abruptly dropped his smile, his Adam's apple struggling to bob up and down.

If there was one thing John Cornelius O'Callaghan V couldn't resist, it was a hot girl giving him all her attention.

I draped my arm around Halvo's shoulders and looked in between him and twins, sweetly asking, "Can I borrow John for a moment?"

"Well of course you can, Sam," Ashley said, removing John's arm from her person and linking arms with her sister.

"We were just talking about you actually," Melissa added, the two of them brushing past me with sly smirks.

My brow rose in confusion at their words but I merely shrugged it off when Eric had walked away as well. I looked up at John and brought my cup to my mouth, finally allowing my lips to curl upward into that smirk.

"So what's up?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

I shook my head. "Not here," I nonchalantly replied, grabbing his wrist and leading the way to a vacant room upstairs.

I pushed him into the dimly lit room first, locked the door behind me, and then turned around to lean against the door, my smirk returning once more.

"What are we doing here?" John warily asked.

Turning the light dial so that darkness engulfed the two of us, I slowly lessened the distance between us and placed my hands on his arms, feeling the biceps and triceps beneath the skin, before running my hands upward until they were latched around his neck.

I pushed my heels off from the ground so that I was standing tip-toed, and I murmured, "Take a wild guess."

His breathing hitched and he seemed hesitant to say or do anything at first until his arms found its way around my waist, but they were reluctant to pull me any closer. "What do you want from me, Sam?"

I brought my face closer to his, our mouths barely inches from one another. "The same treatment you dished out to every other girl at Corona Del Sol, Johnny Boy." I closed the space between our bodies and felt him shudder involuntarily.

"You're drunk," he reminded shakily, placing his hands firmly on my hips, ready to push me away.

"I don't give a damn," I seductively whispered, capturing his thin lips in a sweet kiss and burying the uninvited thoughts and images of Ryan in the depths of my mind.