How Long?

2005

After the big realization months ago nothing has changed between Louise and Harry. She had accepted the fact that he was happy with Chelsy and had no interest in her romantically what so ever. That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see them together. It feels like someone is squeezing her heart tightly every time she lays eye on them.

But she couldn’t keep up charade with Jake any longer. So a couple of weeks after coming back from Balmoral she broke up with him though they still remained friends. She told him she was too busy with her studies and didn’t really have time for anything else, which in fact was true. School was killing her at the moment. She was only few months shy from graduating. Though, she could hardly concentrate. Thoughts of Harry kept her up most nights. She got so desperate that she even started reading trashy magazines and online articles about him and Chelsy.

Late at night she often wondered what Harry sees in Chelsy. What does Chelsy has that she doesn’t. Firstly, she was not a blonde, she had light brown hair. Secondly, she was not as pretty as Chelsy. She was not bad looking; she was just average, maybe even below average to some. She was not very tall. Chelsy was 5’6 where as she was only 5’4. She didn’t like going out much. She rather curled up on a couch and watch a good movie. She cared more about Harry Potter than high fashion. She was kind of a geek.

Well, there is my answer isn’t it. Why would he be interest in a below average looking geeky nerd when he can have a hot leggy blonde.

All night agonizing like this was not good for her health or good for school for that matter, next morning in class she could barely keep her eyes open.

Louise tried to keep up with school with the help of energy drinks. She was sipping one in cafeteria when Mandy one of her class mate and only close friend at school joined her.

“Another all nighter?” Mandy asked taking a bite of her salad.

“Yes, but not studying. I was stalking someone online. God, what my life has reduced to” Louise groaned banging her head on the table.

“A guy or a girl?” Mandy asked.

“A guy who already has a girl”

“Oh lord, Lou. What have you gotten yourself into?”

Louise thought for a moment. Being in love with your best friend pretty much leaves you without an option to bare your soul to someone. Louise avoiding Harry was not an easy task. With Harry she had to avoid everyone else in their little group. She had rarely hung out with anyone except Natasha in ages and everyone was pissed off with her because of that, at least that’s what Tom has texted to her with a big fuck you when she couldn’t make it to his party last week.

“Alright Mandy, here goes nothing…” and with that Louise poured her soul in front of Mandy. Louise trusted Mandy; her father was a magistrate and was quite close to her father and Uncle Charles. It was nice sharing her misery with someone. Mandy was very kind. She listened to Louise babbling about Harry, Chelsy and Jake. When Louise finished, Mandy put her fork down.

“Lou, you only have two options. One you could just tell him everything”

“And be ridicule and rejected. No thank you very much. You know what; I did technically tell him that I
love him and he just… He didn’t even think that I meant it in that way. I felt so stupid and it left me totally heartbroken” Louise said thinking about that night at Balmoral. “It’s already extremely awkward between us; me telling him is only going to make matters worse. What is the other option?”

“Forget about him and move on” Mandy said.

“Easier said than done, don’t you think I have tried it. My heart aches, physically pains when I see him with her. If I could I would have” Louise said feeling sad for herself. If she kept thinking about Harry this way her brain was going to explode soon. She shook her head trying to shake those thoughts away.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore. Have you sent in your college applications yet?” Louise asked.

“Uh huh” Mandy said.

“Where all did you apply?”

“Cambridge, Kings College, Leeds, Bristol, Harvard, UCLA, Brown… The list is quite long actually”

Louise kept on staring at her with an open mouth.

“What?” Mandy asked. “Where did you apply?”

“Cambridge and Durham”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, I am busting my arse for two years to get into Cambridge. Durham is my backup”

“What’s your back up’s back up?” Mandy asked.

“I don’t have one”

“Lou, are you kidding me. Come on you have to have your back up’s back up. Plus, expand your horizons try uni’s in USA or at least rest of the Europe”

“Maybe I should apply to Bath and Bristol”

“You can’t. You have missed the deadline for most of the school’s in UK, though uni in USA still have a
few weeks”

“Thanks” Louise said getting up.

“Where are you going?” Mandy asked.

“To the guidance counselor, I need to check out uni’s in the US”

----

The press lately had been extremely critical of Harry. He was under a lot of scrutiny. His pictures coming out of the clubs drunk has created a lot of controversies in the past few months. His face was practically plastered on every tabloid almost every day. This in turn, has been a point of fights and arguments between him and his father.

Louise had been absent from the social scene for some time now. Somehow partying and hanging out with her friends was not her priority at the moment. Chelsy being a part of the group could be another reason. Chelsy has gotten closer to everybody in Louise life. Tom and Chelsy hung out on regular bases with or without Harry, Kate and Chelsy are glued to the hip at every polo events and even Jake seems to be very fond of her. Louise doesn’t want to act like a psycho but when it comes to Harry, she just couldn’t help herself. To which he was totally oblivious to, they had barely hung out without Chelsy in months.

That’s the reason why Louise was so surprised to see him at the grounds today without Chelsy. Once a month all of them got together to play football. Louise made her way to the ground. She could already see Thomas, Jake, Tom, William, Kate, Natasha from a distance, warming up. She noticed Albert before she saw Harry and Guy.

Louise was stretching next to William and Kate when Harry came to greet her. Her heart beat increased when he came closer. She tried to act cool; she replied cordially and went back to stretching while talking to Kate. Harry stood there for a couple of minutes expecting her to say something else; to make a smart comment or to start their usual banter but nothing happened. He knew she was busy with school and he gave her all the space she needed but things at home have been getting worse by the day and he needed his best friend.

William could see the anguish on Harry’s face as Louise continued to ignore him. He didn’t know what exactly was going on between them, but he knew that Harry needed her. Harry was dealing with a lot these days. His arguments with their father were getting more heated by the day. Harry recent articles in the press, his dating Chelsy, whom Charles did not approve of and his ongoing gap year which was almost touching two had been the topic of many discussion at their household. Plus, Harry was not particularly knee on the idea of their father upcoming wedding to Camilla.

Louise was aware of Harry’s staring at her all through the game but she chose to ignore it. She was confused and didn’t know how to act around him. A part of her wanted to throw her in his arms; another just wanted to runway and never see his face again. She didn’t know how to talk to him anymore. Whenever they were together alone in a room, which thankfully had been a handful of times, she just didn’t knew how to communicate with him. The awkward moments were getting bigger and bigger.

The game went well, everyone was saying their goodbyes. William was walking next to Louise as they were making their way to their cars.

“Louise, I know it’s not my place but can I say something” William said.

“Sure Will, you can say anything to me” Louise said.

“It’s about Harry”

Harry was about to get in his car when he heard Lou calling out his name.

“Hey” Louise said.

“Hey” Harry replied with an amusing smile. She looked flushed after running. Her hair was in a bit of messy bun. She looked super cute.

“I am sorry I haven’t been around lately. I just have been too busy with school” Louise said.

“I know” Harry said shrugging his shoulder.

“But I am here if you need me. To talk or whatever you know that right?”

“I know” He said with smile. It was nice to hear that. He really wanted to hear that.

“I am just a phone call away” She said.

“I am aware of that too” Harry said grinning now.

----

Later that night Louise went back to her dorms. She was studying all night finishing her history assignment when her phone vibrated.

Harry:: Where are you?

Confused by the message Louise typed the answer instantly.

Louise:: At my dorms. Where are you?

Harry:: Open the door.

Louise quickly opened her door and found Harry standing on the other side. He gave her a cheeky smile. She checked the hallway and then grabbed his hand and pushed him inside. She bolted her door and then turned around to look at him.

“Harry, what are you doing here? I can get in so much trouble for this. It’s a girl’s dorm, boys are not allowed, especially this late at night” She hissed.

“I wanted to talk. You said you’ll be here” He said biting his lip try to suppress laughter. She looked incredibly silly when she got mad.

“I also said I am phone call away” She said getting agitated.

“Oh relax, Lou. I just really wanted to talk. If you want I can leave and call you tomorrow” He said moving towards the door.

“No. Stay, I rather know you are here than wandering in the corridors” Louise said finally giving him a weak smile.

“Thanks” He said looking around her room. There were poster of Harry Potter, Maroon 5, The Beatles, David Beckham and Coldplay. It had a huge computer in a corner and a whole lot of books around it. There was a bed in the middle which had some piles of clothes on it. Harry picked up one of her lacy bras and chuckled.

“You give me that” Louise said snatching the bra from his hands while her cheeks went red.

“You are as messy as me Lou” Harry said sitting on the bed.

“Don’t you even dare compare us. I am nowhere near as filthy as you” Louise said putting her bra in
one of her drawers. She panicked when she saw a copy of The Sun with Harry face on it on her
dresser. She quickly picked it up and threw it under her bed without him looking.

“How are you?” She asked once she settled next to him on the bed. They were facing each other.

“I am doing alright”

“I have seen more of you in the morning newspaper than I have actually seen you” Louise said.

Harry sighed “I know. I hate it. Those bloody paparazzi don’t leave me alone for moment”

“May be you should stop going out for some time. You know, out of sight out of mind”

“Don’t talk like my father” He said with a groan.

“I am just saying…”

“Don’t”

“Alright” She said looking down at her hands.

“How are college applications going?” Harry asked

“Good, that reminds me” She said grabbing some papers from near table. “I did some research here is the list of universities that accept late admissions. We can just quickly go through them and pick the ones you like”

“Lou, I told you before I don’t want to go to the university. I want to join the military”

“I know, William is also doing that but he also went to the university. There are some really good
options here Harry” Louise said scanning the pages.

Harry snatched the papers out of her hands and tossed them aside. “I don’t want to discuss this. I still have some time to figure out”

“Actually, you don’t. Your gap year ended more than 4 months ago. Harry, just stop procrastinating….”

Harry groaned. “Drop it Lou. I don’t want to talk about all this”

The room got quite again.

“So, how are the wedding preparations going?” She said coolly.

He winced. “Look, I don’t want to do this right now” He said.

“Harry”

“Lou, not now”

“OK” She said leaning to the headrest. “Maybe later”

“You can’t let anything go, can you?”

“Come on! It’d be great” She slapped his arm lightly. “We could sit around and have a long, drawn out conversation about your father second marriage to his mistress of several decades and the impact it had on your childhood. Then you can pour your heart about your angst-ridden childhood, and we’d analyze it”

Harry gave her a smiled. “That sound like a torture sentence”

“Really? You don’t want to bare your soul to me? Maybe cry a little? I thought that’s what best mates
are for”

“So, we are still best mates ehh?” He asked raising his brow.

“Of course we are. You are not getting rid of me that easily” She said smiling.

“Tell me what I have to do to get rid of you” Harry asked with a smile.

“Something big, monumental”

“I will keep that in mind for next time”

Louise slapped his arm again. “Wanker”

“So, when you came here, what exactly did you had in mind? What did you wanted to talk about?” She
asked.

“Honestly, nothing” He said shyly.

She gave him a confused look.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you. I missed having you around” He said smiling shyly.

“I missed being around you too” She said as her heart started racing.

“Oh Lou, I am so tiered” He said suddenly dropping his head on her lap.

Her heart beat increased ten folds as hair tickled her thighs. She hesitated for a moment before lifting
her hand to stroke his messy hair. He did look tired, like he hadn’t slept in days. His eyes had dark circles under them.

“I will be alright Harry” She said.

“I know” He said.

She sat there with his head on her lap as his breathing began to slow and his drowsiness took over and
his eyes closed. As he slept she spent her time fantasying about them being together. Her fingers trailed through his red hair and down to the pale warmth of his cheeks until her imagination has gone mad with the feel of his skin. She couldn’t take her eyes off the little twist at the edges of his lips.

She longed to kiss him. She was drunk on his manly scent. Then the reality hit her, he was there because he needed a friend, he already has a girlfriend that he adored. Louise was just his friend, nothing more. She would never know what his lips tasted like. She will never be held by him like she wanted to. She wiped the tears that rolled down her cheek before it hit his face.