Can I Even Complicate Your Breathing?

Vic’s POV We continued to hang out for awhile, I called my mom and now I’m sleeping over and I’m really excited. I feel closer to Kellin like a can trust him, I haven’t felt like I could trust someone for sometime now.

“Hey Kells?” I asked from his bed while he sat across the room playing on his electric key board. “Yeah?” he turned to me and scooted over closer on his rolling chair. I pulled out my note book of personal lyrics that I’ve had since I started high school from my back pack. A lot of it was shit but I still kept it just incase I like started a band or something one day. “What is that?” he said curiously and started moving from the chair to the bed. “It’s my lyric book, I was thinking maybe you could help me make a new song or something like that” I don’t know why I was doing this, maybe it was because I liked to hear him sing. He looked at me strangely and flipped open the book and I continued. “The song that we have for music right now is not the best song, it’s just guitar and piano, maybe we could write an actual song with actual lyrics if you want…”. I stopped talking to see what he was looking at, it was a page filled with writing more than other pages and titled “Caraphernelia”. He looked up at me “Can you sing this for me” he said, I looked at him funny “Why?” I asked. Why would he want me to sing a song for him. “Please, just for me? I want to hear you sing, you have an amazing voice” I grabbed the book from him and took in a deep breath. If he really wanted me too…

What if I can’t forget you?
I’ll burn your name into my throat,
I’ll be the fire that’ll catch you,
What’s so good about picking up the pieces?
None of the colours ever light anymore in this hole.

I stopped, this was surprisingly hard for me to do. I was actually in kind of bummed out now. Kellin must of noticed because soon after I stopped mid-song he asked “Was that about Matty?”. I looked down and said quietly “Yeah it’s about him, the definition too caraphernelia basically is when some one leaves you and also leaves behind a few of their belongings”. He left behind quite a bit actually, some clothes a pair of shoes and the necklace I bought him when we started dating. I was actually wearing it right now. “Oh that’s sad I guess.” I smiled a little bit and looked at him. He squeezed my hand a bit. We kind of ended up staring at each other comfortably for a little bit.

Kellin’s POV I really like Vic. He’s so nice and that song he wrote was really good. But I must have brought back a few old memories too him because he just dazed out into thought for a bit. To distract him I thought it would be a good idea to put on a movie and just relax together. I picked a comedy that always put me in a good mood, “Do you want to watch this?” I asked him bringing him out of what seemed to be a deep thought. He got up and picked a different movie, called Coraline. “I love this movie” He said excitedly and put it in the DVD player. I didn’t mind watching it again if he wanted too.

We sat down against my back board of my bed and faced the T.V which was right at the end of the bed. We shared my comforter, and throughout the movie we kind of slowly sank into each other. By the end of the movie Vic’s head was on my chest and his body was clinged onto mine from the side and he was asleep. I just decided to adjust myself a little bit and sleep like that.

When I woke up in the morning Vic was still asleep comfortably in my arms. Except his shirt was off, he must have took it off for comfort and then crawled back into bed. He was warm and didn’t look bad shape wise. I didn’t think he was awake so I kissed his forehead and crawled out of bed to go shower. I went to the bathroom and undressed, revealing myself to a large mirror in the bathroom. I looked at myself for a little bit, my body was covered in scars, on my arms, waist, chest and upper legs. Some were from self destruction, others were from my father. I got in the shower not wanting Some were from self destruction, others were from my father. I got in the shower not wanting to remember why any of them were there.

After 20 minutes I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I peeked in my room to find Vic still sleeping in my bed. I quickly went to my closet right beside the door to my room and grabbed some clothes; A red v neck t-shirt with a grey zip up hoodie, a pair of black skinnies and some bracelets. Before I could quietly leave my room Vic woke up. “What are those marks on your back?” I went to turn and respond but he was already standing behind me, running his finger lightly down the red marks on my back. “When my dad started drinking he would get mad at me for stupid reasons, one night I denied that I was scared of him and he tied me up and whipped my back with the belt from his waist.” I haven’t thought about that night for awhile, it was the first night my dad actually hit me. “Did it hurt? I mean when he did this” Vic asked, I remember the pain it caused, it was the worst pain someone could feel physically and mentally. “I couldn’t sit up straight for awhile without it stinging” I answered. He turned me around and saw the rest of the scars covering my body. He ran his hand down my arms and chest, His eyes looked so focused at all the marks on my body. He eventually rested his warm palm on my cold chest, I looked up at him to find him looking back at me. He put his other hand on my cheek, “I still think your beautiful” he said softly and quietly. I slowly moved my face closer to his closing of the gap between us, with a gentle kiss.

We stood their for awhile moving our lips slowly and gently against each others. We kissed passionately until Vic pulled back taking a breath. I looked at him in the eyes, while he nervously looked down and swiped his hair further up on his forehead.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you.” He said it quite seriously, like he felt bad for it.
I lifted his face up, “I was going to kiss you anyway. I really like you, you’re the only person who has seen all my scars and still say something nice about the way I look. Thank you Vic.” He looked up and smiled at me, “I really like you too Kells”. I grinned at him and kissed his nose. “I’m going to go get dressed and then we will have breakfast okay?” He nodded “I should probably put my shirt back on then” he said as he bent down to pick up his dirty shirt off the ground. “Put on something of mine for now, I don’t want you wearing dirty clothes. I’ll throw your stuff in the wash later.” I said and left the room