If Not For Everything

After being stuck with Rose and a few trolls traveling through space for three years, Dave has become frustrated and resentful. This game is stupid, these aliens are stupid, and the fact that he undoubtedly misses his best friend more than he can handle is definitely stupid. All he wants is for none of this to ever have happened - after all, he and his three best friends could have had happy, normal lives if they'd never have met. He never expected to get what he wanted and hate it.

(Choose-your-own-adventure, Eventual JohnDave, rated T for Dave's mouth)

Prologue: Wishing Could Be Considered Ironic, Right?
Dave throws a tantrum and makes a wish.
You Only Wish You Were High
You got what you wanted. What now?
Definitely Crazy
"You decide to tell Bro. He’s your Bro, after all, and also your dad, but again you don’t want to get into that." In which Dave becomes an almost-college student.
Old Friends in New Places
"You decide that you’re going to go to the welcome thing – scoop up the sweet-ass classes while you’ve got the chance." In which Dave is dragged around by a blind girl.