Meet My Dedication, Inspiration

Tears welled up in my eyes. "You know the first time he hit me was the day of my surgery." I could feel my chest starting to hurt. "I can't believe I'm doing this, telling you this stuff. He'll kill me if he finds out I'm talking to someone about it."

Austin POV

The rage in me was boiling already but when she said that, I lost it. "No, he fucking won't. I won't fucking let anything happen to you. I'll beat that piece of shit to bloody pulp if he ever touches you...or even fucking talks to you like that again." She looked scared. "No, oh my god. Come here. I am so sorry." I pulled her to my chest and held her while she cried. I fucking scared her... and I didn't mean to. "I'm so sorry, I should not have done that."

She shook her head, "It's okay." I could feel her calming against me, her muscles relaxing, her face not so hot, and her heart not thudding audibly.

I kissed her forehead and wiped the tears off her cheeks as she pulled away. "I wish you could.. I wish you could help me... Save me from him."

"Does he know where you are?"

She shook her head. "He thinks I'm at the hospital working in-house. Where you sleep in the break rooms."

"Maybe we can fix this...while you're with us. Are you up to try?"

"I would have to tell Jenn and I really don't want to."

"You need to. You need to tell her and let us fix it for you."

Her phone buzzed and she jumped. "Oh god, I thought it was him. But it's just Alan. He said he wants a slushie too." She laughed.

Alan was about to start treading on my territory. I'd have to handle that too. She pulled out a compact and fixed up her eyes, lips, and powdered her cheeks.

"I'm sorry I broke down on you. I just never thought in a million years, I'd be telling you of all people about my psycho ex." She chuckled. "I guess I am glad it was you though, your music really did save me."

I smiled.

"I know a lot of people say that, I know... but your music was the only thing I had no memory tied to, you know? Like, he didn't listen to you guys and when I got sick, you guys were all I listened to...even right before surgery."

I opened the door of the small store for her. "A lot of people saying it doesn't mean it isn't true. I'm glad it was us that could be there for you. Did you tell all the other guys about it?"

"Vaguely. I wasn't too in depth with them, I guess. I honestly can't believe I even mentioned it." She filled up two big cups worth of the slushies. "You want one too?"

I nodded. She filled up another cup. "Thanks for being badass today. We would have never gotten our delicious lunch or good slushies."

"You're welcome. It's just what I do. You know this will totally giveaway to Alan that you came with."

"Damn. Oh well." I smiled at her.

We walked back to the bus and I bid her farewell with another hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be front row, most likely. See you inside."

As she walked away from me, I was actually really happy that she'd be right in front of me tonight. I jogged up the stairs and onto the bus again. "Hey, can we play When You Can't Sleep At Night tonight please?"

"Yeah, I guess so... we can do that before Let Live. Sound good?"

"Perfect."

Jessica POV

I knocked on the door of ETF's bus and told TJ that I was going to wait in line to get in...but not before getting a hug and a couple of pictures. He said Jenn would come out soon with me.

I got another DM from Austin when I was finally in line and had been waiting for about an hour.

This has been such a lovely day... thank you again for everything.

I grinned. No, thank you. I can't remember the last time I smiled this much.

Jenn came up about 30 minutes later. "Well, what took you an hour and a half to come join me, missy?"

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you."

"Your flushed cheeks and cheery disposition tell me everything. Hope you used protection."

"It's not just that!" She laughed, "I think things are serious between us."

"Wait, what?!" I smiled and squealed. "I'm so happy for you!"

-

Doors were at 7 but Alan sent their roadies to come get us at 6:30. "They wanted to make sure you guys were up front."

"Shit, please tell them thank you." I sat down against the barricade. "This day has been one of the best ever."

"Tell me about it." She leaned her head back on the barricade.

"I have to talk to you about something."

"What, did you bang the ginger?" She giggled.

I laughed, "No, this is about Colton." Her face went blank. I stood up and showed her the bruise on my hip and then fessed up to everything I'd been hiding.

"I'll fucking kill him." She said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, well.. get in line behind Austin cause he already said the same thing."

"God, Jess, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"No one did. You two are the only ones that know."

"Does he know where you are or where you're going?" I shook my head. "Maybe he'll lay off now that you're gone."

"I sure hope so." We smiled softly, but hopefully.

We took our place right in front of the ego riser Craig and Austin would be on when people started piling in. There was only one opening band and they weren't really interesting. Of Mice & Men played first and their set was absolutely incredible.

After they played Still YDG'n, an acoustic guitar was pulled out and I was kind of confused.. there were no acoustic songs on the setlist I'd seen online.

Austin POV

I took one last sip of water before turning back to the crowd. "We've got a couple more songs for you, but right now we wanna slow it down for a minute. We usually don't play this song, but there's something heavy on all of our hearts and we feel like someone who came to us really needs to hear this song tonight."

I nodded and we started the song.

Jessica POV

He was talking about me. I needed to hear this song.

He started singing When You Can't Sleep At Night and I nearly collapsed. This song had soothed me to bed more times than I could remember, when I was recovering from my surgery, when I was bruised and beaten, the last night I ever saw my family.

Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes, won't you show them to me?
He sang this to me, right to me. With his eyes locked on mine.

I know I'm not that perfect, but you stay awhile; baby, then will you will. Don't give up baby..
I was overwhelmed. This moment flooded all the others and now my only memory of this song was Austin's beautiful eyes and voice singing to me. My heart thudded hard against my chest, but I kept my eyes locked with his. He smiled at me when the song was finished.

That moment was all I needed. After that, they played Let Live and the set started changing for ETF.
"I have to go. I have to go find him. I'm sorry." I said quickly to Jenn.

"I was going to tell you to go find him anyways." She smiled. "I'll be here. Text me if you need me."
I hugged her. "Have fun, enjoy your man. I love you."

"I love you too." She laughed.

There was no way I could make it through the crowd.. "Can you pull me over?" I asked the bouncer. He shook his head no. "Fuck."

As if it was clockwork, the same roadie that brought us in walked by. "Hey, hey! Remember me?" He smiled and nodded. "Can you pull me over? I need to go find Austin."

He took me from under my shoulders and I was over the barricade in no time. I ran to the side of the stage and out the back door of the venue. "Austin?" I called his name every 25 feet until I was right beside the buses. I saw him walking over, glued to his phone screen. I didn't hesitate... I ran directly up to him.

"Hey!" He smiled, placing his phone in his pocket.

I grabbed him and let him take me into one of his amazing hugs. "Thank you..thank you so much. That was the best thing you could have ever done to that song for me."

My chest heaved as the tears ran down my cheeks again and I was consumed by the comfort he gave me. He took my face in his hands, and I pressed mine over them, still saying thank you over and over again. His features were soft and gentle, not like on stage.

Austin POV

I was overwhelmed by how thankful she was. But she told me in her letter that it was one of her favorite songs but it didn't help her sleep anymore. I was determined to change that.

As I held her face in my hands, I let the heat of the moment take over and leaned in and kissed her lips. It was a deep kiss, one filled with sighs and groans and soon her hands were locked around my neck and mine were around her waist. We kissed for a long time, her soft lips being as kissable and perfect as they looked.

We pulled away from each other. "I.. I'm sorry." Her lipstick was still perfect. No transfer. That was perfect.

I giggled. "What are you sorry for? I kissed you. You just kissed back." I stepped forward and played with a strand of her hair. "Can I do it again?"

Her cheeks were rosy pink. She bit her lip and nodded. Again, we kissed for a long time, my lips, her lips, my tongue, her tongue, all perfectly melding together.

"It's true." She breathed.

"What's true?" I said back, softly.

"When you tweeted and quoted Brand New about your tongue."

At first it'd been a kiss, but when she said that, I felt myself wanting her more and more. I kissed her over and over again, never wanting to break away.

I heard someone clear their throat and we stopped. "You guys, uh, okay?" Aaron chuckled.

"Oh my god." She turned away and hid her face.

"Yeah, we're fine." I pulled her to me. "How about you don't make fun of me for this and we call it a night?"

Aaron laughed, "I'm not going to make fun of you for kissing one of the most lovely of all our fans. Carry on. But you should probably go finish ETF and wait for everyone else to leave."

"Right." I said. "You wanna go watch ETF baby?"

The moonlight was swimming in her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

I led her inside and we watched the show.

Jessica POV

I can't believe that just fucking happened. We kissed and not just once. That was not just a coincidence or a fluke. He actually wanted to kiss me.

I took out my phone and tweeted.

Wow.. #happy

We watched the show from sidestage and I waved Jenn over after they got done playing. She walked back with us, instantly locking up with Craig's hand in her's.

I texted her phone and told her what happened. She smiled really really big and said "I approve" out loud. I could have killed her. I knew the guys had fans to meet so we waited on the bus until they were done.
"I'm just nervous. What does this mean?"

"Well, he sang to you and kissed you. More than once. What do you fuckin' think it means!?"

I shook my head. "I'm just..."

"Being a girl. So let's get a little drinky drink on and you can think about it then. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

The fans had dwindled when we walked out and I got pulled aside by Austin. "I think we're gonna go get some drinks."

"Sounds good. Know any places around here?"

"Of course I do. Whenever you guys are ready."

Jenn came over to us. "Craig wants me to ride with them tonight. Cool?"

I pouted. I didn't want to ride alone. "Yeah, that's fine, I guess."

"Well, we're gonna go with you to get drinks, so you'll be okay." She smiled and we all started over to my car. It was the same piling in as before. Alan in back still.

Within 10 minutes we were at a nice little bar and 2 hours later, we were wasted. Alan took a cab back to the buses because he was tired, so it was just us "couples." Austin was much more giggly and touchy. I was too, so I wasn't complaining.

"Do they know that we kissed?"

"Jenn does."

"I told Craig." She whispered. They were all over each other. It was cute.

"Good." Austin smiled then pulled me on his lap facing him and started kissing me again.

His kisses were more intense, more hungry, and strong. I wasn't complaining about that either. His hand squeezed my thighs. I wanted to fuck him right now, there was no doubt about that. The alcohol and his lips were just too much. "Let's go outside." He breathed on my neck.

I nodded, following his lead through the dimly lit bar. Craig and Jenn were still ordering drinks when I looked back. We got in the backseat of my car; him on top of me between my legs. His lips started trailing down my neck and I got chills all over. He got up on his knees and pulled the top of my corset down, placing his hands over my tits.

The windows were already steamed up but they were going to get steamier. I don't know whose pants were off first but he was already about to slam into me less than a minute later.

"We can't...do it this way.. we're both too tall." I said, not breaking from his lips for more than 2 seconds. I turned over and got on my knees, a position I'd never been able to do comfortably with anyone.

I saw stars and my whole body shook when he slid into to me for the first time. "Fuck, Austin." I moaned out.

Austin POV

I never do this. Why am I doing this? But I don't want to stop. God, I want this forfuckingever. I couldn't recall the last time I had sex but I was glad the next time was with her. It felt like it'd been a while for her too. She threw her head back and I took that chance to take her hair into my hand, the alcohol bringing out the primal side of me. She moaned in approval and I kept thrusting until I finished. I leaned down and kissed her, her hips still moving against mine.

We cleaned up and pulled our pants back on, opening the door of the car to try and make it air out.
I hoped she wouldn't regret this is the morning.. or think that I was just using her for a fuck on tour.
"I need.." She hiccuped and giggled. "some grub and coffee. So I'm not drunk anymore." She pressed herself against my chest and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Waffle House?"

"How can we get there? I can't drive and neither can you. We're both sloshed."

"Let's walk. I'm sure there's one around here. You remember where we are?"

She nodded. "Thank you, Austin."

"Thank you for what?" I smiled.

"For that. It's been a year since I had sex and that was the best I've ever had."

"Yeah, well, let's get you sober and see if you say the same." I chuckled.

She furrowed her brow. "I will say the same whether I'm drunk or not, that was really good."
I tilted her chin up and kissed her before we started walking down the street. The soft yellow glow of the Waffle House sign appeared soon and we went in and ordered lots of food to nurse our drunken selves.

She started losing her buzz before I did.

Jessica POV

What have I fucking done? I chewed my food slowly, letting the grease and carbs absorb all the alcohol from my stomach. My phone buzzed.

Tool cab bck to bua.. riding with Craif dont forger

I guess autocorrect can only do so much.

Okay. At Waffle House losing my buzz. See you tomorrow.

"They took a cab back to the buses. I guess now I'm officially on my own for the ride."

"I can ride with you."

"You're drunk." I laughed.

"Not completely. Just let me go get changed on the bus and I'll ride with you to Nashville."
"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Completely sure. Besides it'll give me time to get to know more about you. And I can tell you all about me. I already laid claim to you so it'll be no surprise."

"Laid claim?" I cocked my head.

"Yeah, Alan was kinda digging you but then he asked me what should we do and I told him how I felt."

"And how do you feel?"

He smiled. "I think you are a really genuine girl that is incredibly beautiful and doesn't deserve to be treated the way that you do. And even if my heart is medically fucked up, you're the only person that's made it race and skip a beat... and I hardly even know you. Could you imagine what would happen if I did?"

Austin was my favorite member, there was no questioning that. And today had been one of the best days of my life. If he was willing to try something more, then I was willing to as well.

"I know I'm a fan but I don't just want you for your money or fame. You do know that, right?"

He smirked. "Of course baby, I know that. You wouldn't act the way you do if you just wanted my money or fame."

It was hard for me to trust.. It was even harder for me to admit to myself that I fucked my favorite front man in the back of my car. He started to lose his buzz after one more cup of coffee.

"Okay, I think walking back to the car will get us sober enough to drive to the bus."

He paid this time and we walked down the sidewalk. He took my hand into his. "You know, I kinda like that you're so tall. It doesn't hurt my back to kiss you."

I smiled. "Yeah? I've never heard that one before." We got into the car and I turned the heat on, "I've gotta get the car warm enough to sleep in tonight."

"You're not sleeping in the car."

"Well then I'll get a hotel. There are tons close by the venue."

"Can I stay with you?"

I smiled at him and leaned over to kiss him. "Please?"