Keep Your Head Up

Slow dance. Fast heart beats. Heavy breathing. Delicate smiles. And that was it for Prom.

Everything seemed to be dim in my mind, as I opened the limousine’s window, I needed some fresh air. The lights were less and less as we passed by, we were on our way to the lake house.

Kennedy and Lisa were kissing, I was not surprised. He was gentle and she was shy, it was like they were alone. I proceeded to look around the limo searching for some of the alcohol-less champagne Kennedy had put on the limo’s center mini table. I reached my hand and picked the bottle, the cups were on the other side where Lisa and Kenny were touching lips and tongues. I decided to drink from the bottle. The acid liquid slit down my throat, it felt like sharpened knifes, but it was gentle enough to water my dry mouth.

I caught John staring at me, with scanning eyes that were probably humming to a love song. He looked tired, his tie was on the loose, he didn’t had his jacket on anymore and the suspenders make him look like someone on a movie with Al Capone.

“You partied too hard didn’t you John O’Callaghan?” I asked as I took a sip of the champagne bottle again.

“Not as much as you Breana Phillips”

Lisa and Kennedy made loud noises, she isn’t shy anymore , I thought to myself. They forgot we were there or they were way head over heels too keep it under control.

“If those two didn’t make out they’d probably starve” John stated while getting up to sit next to me.

“They’re so into one another, I hope they have a good night if they… you know…”

“BREANA!” He yelped.

“JOHN!” I yelped back.

His laugh was loud enough to make Lisa and Kenny stop kissing and look at us. I think they suddenly got conscious of their live make out session.

The limo stopped. The driver came out and opened the door for us. He was a tall man with beard, not a five o’clock shadow sort of beard, something that had a lot of dedication deserve some respect. He looked somehow tired like all of us.

“We need to take the bags off the trunk, can you help us?” John asked the driver, whose name I didn’t remember and neither did John, maybe Kennedy knew.

Lisa tried to rearrange herself by pushing her dress up and her hair in the back of her ears. Kennedy did the same with his tie and jacket.

John and the driver took out, the almost massive bags, off the trunk and put them in the front porch of the house.

I looked at it. I’ve been coming there almost every summer since I was five years old. I skipped the past couple of years because it insanely reminded me of my father. Everything about it smelled like him and even had that Phillips-touch. Starting with the front door that had a sign saying “The Phillips Lake House”, he made it when Mikey was born.

John gave the driver a tip and gave him a firm handshake while mouthing “Thank you”.

I went to my bag to search for the key of the house. After a few rolling of the clothes I found it next to the socks.

While everyone was impatiently waiting to get in, I opened the door. That smell of wood and water came to me.

“Come in guys” I said.

“Finally!” Kennedy shouted.

I grabbed my bag and waited until everyone was in.

Lisa had been there two summers ago, so she knew her way around it and went to the basement to turn on the power.

The guys were admiring the house, the inside was extremely calm and cozy. The living room was conjoined with the kitchen, only separated by a big wood counter, on which my father had put a glass box with all sorts of rocks we found in the lake. John was studying it and ran his hands through the glass, tracing a slight path of sweat.

“Where are we going to sleep?” Kennedy asked turning to me with his hands on one of the couches.

“Oh yeah, come with me.”

He, and later John and Lisa, followed me to the stairs on the left of the kitchen. My lake house hand two levels, plus an attic, it was great really.

“We have four rooms. Three for my family, that we use all the time, and a guest room. Two of them such as the master and the guest room, have bathrooms. If you stay in one that doesn’t, the bathroom is down the hall and we have another one downstairs on the door next to the kitchen.“

They all paid attention to me and to the house’s compartments. It looked rather conserved since it was way older than the years it had since we bought it. My mother took the chance to sent someone there to clean it before we arrived, which made it look even better.

“So who’s staying in which room?” Lisa asked, and her eyes were slightly turned to Kenny’s.

“I’ll have my old bedroom and I guess you can choose the others.”

“You sure? Don’t you want the master bedroom?” John questioned me, before dropping his bag on the floor.

“No, I’m sure.” I answered.

“I get the guest room, I had it the last time and it has the best view!” Lisa said while making her way to it.

“I'll have this one over here” Kennedy said, with eyes looking at Lisa’s bedroom door.

“Which leaves me the guest room…” John didn’t look excited about it. Maybe sleeping where my parents slept doesn’t make him happy, I didn’t want to ask him about it.

I went to the bathroom down the hall, before Kennedy remembered his room didn’t had one. I took my dress off, along with my high heels. I cleaned my face with make-up remover towels, and then with some water and soap. I put on a sleeping gown, it was Disney themed and had Minnie on the front. For some reason I love it, and it was really light, perfect for summer.

I brushed my teeth and went to bed.

A few hours went by and it was almost 5 am, I didn’t realize it was that late if I didn’t saw the time on my phone. I couldn’t sleep and I was guessing I was not used to a different bed in a long time.
The open window let a few breezes of wind get in and make the air a bit fresh, since my room didn’t had any AC or whatsoever.

I heard noises coming from the hallway, maybe someone was up as well. I decided to check and go to the kitchen and grab something to drink.

I saw Lisa’s door was half closed. I gently opened it and saw her and Kennedy deeply sleeping and cuddling. I smiled a bit, they looked so peaceful.

When I turned on the light of the kitchen/living room , I almost let out a scream, because I saw john next to the fridge and his silhouette looked enormous.

“It’s just me” He said.

“I’m sorry I’m not used to seeing boys around here.”

I grab some cold water from a bottle in the fridge and poured it on a glass. John was drinking chocolate milk.

“You didn’t tell me someone came here and filled this with food.” He stated.

“My mom made sure that we wouldn’t starve for the weekend”

He smiled and took a long sip of milk.

We were quiet for a while and he managed to look at me the entire time, making me feel observed and nervous.

“You have this way of looking at me, it scares me sometimes.”

“What way?” He placed his hands to hold his head, and taunted it to his left side.

“That ridiculous way, that says ‘hey let me scan you and study you like a creep and maybe later write a poem about you and make you feel uncomfortable for the rest of your life’, you know?”

“That's bsolutely pathetic, my poetry would never make you feel uncomfortable.”

I let out a laugh and tried to cover my mouth with my hands so I wouldn’t wake up the others up, John intervened and grabbed my hands laughing along with me. He pushed me next to him and kissed me tenderly. No interruptions. Just kissing .

We stopped and his hands were on my face now, and we smiled. Not the ‘I’m glad we kissed’ sort of smile, more like ‘I really like you’ kiss.

“I want to say something cute but I don’t know what to say” I said placing my hands on his neck.
“Don’t say anything then.” He kissed me again and continued. “From day one that I wanted to do this, don’t get me wrong, I wanted to get to know you first, but your entire existence emanates a sparkle and it shines and shines and I’m happy I get to touch it.”

“If that’s your way of saying you like me, then I like you too.”

He held me tight, and hugged me. Kissed his way from my collarbones to my lips and started talking again.

“I do, I really like you. I never even- I never even thought you would let me kiss you, or be a part of your life, I’m thankful for you, for everything. I didn’t even though I’d have a girlfriend after I moved.”
“Girlfriend?!” I said with a slight portion of sarcasm.

“You know, a girl who is a friend.” I slapped his chest and he laughed along with it.

“Seriously Bree, if your mom didn’t want to meet us when we moved and made me her gardener did you think we would talk again?”

“Yes, we made quiet a connection on my backyard that night.”

“Seriously?”

“No, John I wouldn’t be able to talk to start a conversation with you, unless you wanted to”

“I’m glad we didn’t had to go through that.”

“Me too.”

Sincerely I was afraid of letting John in my life. Boys were never a part of my life, being near them sometimes bothered me, maybe because they were too attractive, too cruel, too busy having girlfriends. I always expected that when I finally wanted to meet a boy my dad would be there to tell me what to do. John came along and changed my life like a song. All the days being nervous around him and not letting myself know of the feelings and facts brought me to this very moment, that sounds like a cliché since it was the night after prom and everyone gets to have their chance in love, just as Kenny and Lisa, but I was happy, relieved actually.

“Do you want to cuddle?” I asked John.

“What, are you five years-old?”

“I’m six actually.” We made our way to the master bedroom and fell asleep until I heard a screaming sound that woke me up from my lovely dream.