My Jealousy and Your Truth

I lifted my eyelids to find white. Like hospital white. What the fuck am I doing here? Did I kill myself? Did I try to kill Danny? Yeah, that would make sense. The Purge movie... they came back... then I...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If that were possible, I doubt Obama would fucking go for it."

"Come on. Twelve hours all crime is legal? Everybody would end up fucking dead by the eleventh hour."

"How do you know that?"

"Because everybody fucking hates each other. If not you, then my neighbor. Then I'm dead."

"Can you blame him? You're a fucking pussy-snake jackass!" Laughter roared at the deep baritone's joke. I recognized the voice as Dylan, and the other as Matt.

"If anybody is the pussy-snake jackass, it's you!"

The chorus of 'ohhh's matched the footfalls on the bus steps.

"You wanna fight, Matt?" I heard Dylan taunt. "I'll kick your ass!"

"Not before I kick your ass!"

"COME AT ME BRO!"

"BRING IT ON, FAT ASS!"

"GUYS!" Jorel's voice poped in, right in time to stop the fight and the bus from rocking.

"What is it, babe?" Dylan asked in a sincere voice.

"I need you tonight, and I don't won't you to get into a scuffle with Mattsy. Alright?"

"Alright," Dylan caved. Dylan ALWAYS caves to Jorel; Jorel is his weakness.

"Come now, follow me," Jorel directed.

"I can't come, you haven't fucked me yet."

"Dudes, can you shut up? I think Jordan passed out on us." I jerked when George said my name. But it wasn't the sexual kind of jerk, and that hurt even more.

I saw the light from the outside of my bunk, just a little sliver. I was sure it was Jorel because his voice. "Yeah, he's asleep."

"I'd jump in with him but I think he needs his space," George said randomly.

Jorel closed the sliver of light, and I could tell he was staring at George like he had three heads. Which wasn't saying much, because, if you thought about it, he kinda does. So five heads.

"What makes you say that?"

"He's been a little distant lately. I mean, he still, like, goes out with me, but his head just doesn't seem to be in it anymore." I could feel my heart sink a little as the bus rocked when George sat down. "So I'm going to give him his space. I'm still gonna bug the shit outta him, but I'll give him his space."

"Sounds like someone wants to say the L word."

My heart stopped dead in its tracks when Danny said that.

"I already have. Quite a lot actually."

"Did you really mean it? From the bottom of your soul?"

"Of course!"

I felt the bus rock a little bit when Danny sat across from George. "Then maybe Jordan thinks you don't mean it. How many times has he said it?"

Fuck. Danny had a point. I've never said it outside of sex. But George has said it plenty of times. So many times. Every day. Unlike me. The pause from George lasted a little bit.

"I don't know."

"Maybe you should tell him again. But this time put a tiny bit of pressure on it. Let him know your his one and only."

Even though I was in a different part of the bus, I could feel George smile. "Thanks, Dan. You're a real good relationship advice guy."

"I should hope so."

"I hope we all didn't forget the 8:00 show! The other bands are headin' in!" Matt yowled.

"Yeah, guys, we gotta start getting stuff done. Should we wake sleepy fuck?" Dylan asked. I was gonna kick his ass later.

"No. Around 7:30 we'll wake him. Maybe he was really tired when we left, that's why he's asleep."

"Makes sense, I suppose," George replied in a sad tone. "What do we need to get done?"

"Some stage stuff, and a sound check and 7:15 I think," Danny responded.

"Alright, then; let's go!" Dylan howled.

All I heard after Dylan's wolf side come out was footsteps and cheers. They rocked the bus, and then they slammed the door shut and patted it twice. But all I could feel was anger, frustration, wrath, and rage. I knew Danny's game now. It all made sense.

He wanted me gone. He wasn't entirely out for Matt: he wanted to lead the band. Why didn't I see it before? It was so obvious! "No. Around 7:30 we'll wake him." MY ASS! The sound check was at 7:15, but you'll wake me at 7:30? Fuckin' A, Danny! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! It was obvious! I remember now... that comment he made a few weeks ago...

I'll take over the whole band with my sexy ass dick! It'll all be perfect!

I understood now... he only had three beers and two shots. There was NO MOTHER FUCKING way he was plastered enough to say that and not know he said it. That fucker never liked me anyway. His plan made sense... if I felt out of place enough, and leave the band due to "musical differeneces," he'll probably take over my spot and be the front man... it all made sense know. Well, I got some news for you, Danny:

IT AIN'T FUCKIN' HAPPENIN'!

~~~~~~~After The Show~~~~~~~

I laid in the wait. My bed was cool like a cool breeze. I felt impowered. I felt like killing.

Danny was still asleep. It was only three in the morning, but I knew Danny pretty well by now. He gets up in the night when we sleep in motels to take a little walk around the parking lot. There have been a few times were I've actually joined him. But tonight was different. Tonight blood will color the concrete. He won't take the band away from me. He will most definitely NOT take Matt from me. Tonight, Danny is gonna pay.

I was in the same room as George, but this time around we slept in different beds. He gave me my space like he said he would. But I needed a lot more space than this room. So I got up as silently as I possibly could, and went outside, closing the door softly behind me. I already had my jacket on, so the cold didn't really bug me. I hid the small knife in my right pocket. The pocket was deep enough that the knife didn't pop out.

I had changed my mind on the Buried Concoction thing. I reexamined it in my mind, and it was just plain stupid. On top of that, I was walking on the road randomly one day and found this rusted metal knife on the side of the road. My mind was made up. I was gonna stab him. I just need to be-

Click.

"Hey, Jordan, what you doin' up so late?" Danny walked over to me and leaned on the railing.

"Just enjoying the breeze. You?" I acted casual.

"I wanted to take a quick smoke, that's all."

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

I watched Danny pull his cigarettes out of his pocket and start to smoke one. He offered me one, but I shook my head no. "All right, if you nod so."

I let a fake chuckle pass my lips. Danny joined in, oblivious to the fact that it was fake.

"Hey Danny, you wanna take a walk?"

"Uh, sure, why?"

"I... I don't know, I guess I'm just restless."

"M'kay. Sounds good to me."

I turned to my left and started for the stairs, Danny right beside me. We walked around the rectangle-ish parking lot. We talked about everything: life, cars, girls, guys, the shows, and the like. We ended up in the dark woods, a little farther then I intended. I could deal. But then a question flew past my lips before I could stop it.

"What was it like? I mean, with Matt?"

Danny looked at me, confused. I never call him Matt, I always come up with some sorta stupid name.

"I, I,..." He huffed a breath, and I could see it from the chill. "I honestly don't know how to explain it. It was... liberating at the time. That feeling that I could finally let go and be a girl basically. That feeling that I finally could be fucked and not care. It was almost natural. It hurt like a bitch, though. I whined pretty loud. His moans sounded like silk on water, believe it or not. He went in and out, in and out and fuck, it pretty good. He pushed in me and... I lost it. I'd been wanted that for a long time. To finally let go, and feel free. I felt a lot from him. But know he'll never do it again. And neither will I. But... if that situation ever comes up... I'd hope to be stuck with him again."

I was filled with such loathing. I HATED him. I need him to bleed. To feel my heart torn in two. Torn between letting it go and being with George, or killing him and being with the one I want. But Matt was MINE, and I'll be DAMNED to let an upstart like Daniel Murillo take my place as his boo.

I reached in my right pocket and grabbed the small knife. It felt like an extension of my arm. I whipped it out and rushed up behind Danny. I pointed the tip of the knife to his throat as he gasped for breath.

"I swear to fucking God, you scream, and I will chop your dick off and shove it so far down your throat it'll come out of your whore ass."

"Jor-Jordan..."

"Shut up!" I hissed in his ear. "I am going to kill you. Deal with it." Then I covered his mouth and shoved the knife in his stomach, close to his slut dick. He squealed, and I swear I got a fucking boner. I felt his rapid breathing, his breath hot on my hand. Just for the fun of it, I stabbed him again.

"I bet you like that, you whore!" I snarled quietly. I stabbed him again, a little less force, but the feeling was like fucking a girl on her period: so much was coming out it covered your dick with a deep red liquid. But this wasn't period, and this was Danny.

I pushed him to the ground and stratled him. My knee was in the puncture holes, making the blood stop until I could stab him again.

Danny grasped and clawed, trying to get from under me. I kept my left hand on his mouth to shut him up. "Danny, shut the fuck up."

"Why, Jordan? Why?" He squeaked.

"Because you took away from me the two things I needed!" I stabbed him again, this time in the arm, so he didn't die to quickly. "Because of you, I'm reduced to having to kill someone. I've been holding hatred for you since February. And fuck do I fucking hate you!" I growled intensely.

"Why? What did-" He abrutply coughed up a little blood. "What did I take from you?!"

"My friends, and my one true love. And know I what you to pay. PAY!" I lowered my hand again to stop him from screaming, then took the rusted knife into his left shoulder, then his right, the sound becoming my moans as I finally got my revenge.

I stabbed him on the side of his head, chopping his ear off. I could feel the pain, so euphoric I thought I might cum myself. But held it. That was for Matt. Danny screeched under my palm, I think he tried to bite me. I quickly took my knife, and angled it. Then I released his mouth, and before he got to scream, I ran the the blade I sharpened to his lips, creating the perfect smile, like the Joker, but uglier and whory-er.

"But-" More blood. "George is still yours." Even more blood, but this time it reached my cheeks, staining them.

"I'm talking about Matt. I've always loved him. I just didn't have the heart to say anything. Then YOU come around fucking him! HE... WAS... MINE!" I screamed as I drove the knife down into his chest. And again. And again. He coughed more, more, more blood, getting it on my skin, my clothing, and staining my soul.

I used both hands as my hand went up and down, making two-inch long gashes in his chest. The chicst sound becoming louder with every thrust of the knife. I just kept driving it in, torturing his heart, his arterys, and his soul. Blood splashed everywhere, staining the ground, turning the green grass into a crimson field of despair and pure hatred.

The knife was above my head when I looked down. I finally realized he wasn't breathing. The only thing moving was my chest, rapid from the continuious motion of my revenge. The deed was done:

Daniel Rose Murillo was finally dead, by my now-bloody hands. I stared at his lifeless eyes, like glass against the dirt. His head was slightly cut through, and his neck was barely hanging there. I think I went a little overbroad. His shirt was cut open, only a small little space of clear skin left from were I stratled. I looked at the knife, the tip begging me to do whatever little evil thing I had in mind.

I cleaned a bigger spot, and dragged the tip across his skin, making out the word Whore in his slut body. I got up, and stared at my beautiful artwork. Perfect my ass.

I huffed in the cold weather. Then I turned, walked back to the motel, leaving whatever evidence may have been there. I didn't give a shit. I had one more thing on my agenda.

I stopped at Matt's room. Then I carefully walked in, closing the door as quietly as this motel would permit. I then rushed with quiet treading to the bathroom. There, I took off my blood-stained clothes; I wouldn't be needing them anymore. I didn't wash off the blood, except for my cheeks and hands. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. Now THIS is perfect.

I turned and grabbed the doorknob, then walked out, closing the door. My eyes averted to the door randomly, and I realized I didn't lock it. I quickly padded over and locked the door with a click.

"Danny, is that you?"

FUCK. Matt's awake. But that's okay. It makes it that much easier.

"Yeah, it's me," I responded, trying to sound like him.

"Okay." I could tell he went back to sleep. But sleep wasn't on my agenda tonight. It never was. I padded over, opened the covers, and quickly got in bed with him.

"Danny, what the fuck?" He opened his eyes. Shock was obvious. "JORDAN? What are you do-"

I thrusted the knife to his chin, watching his expession worsen. I watched the point prick his skin, then trickle down to the mattress. My voice sounded like that one guy from The Strangers.

"Now, if you be quiet and don't scream, I promise this will hurt you more than me."