Sequel: Forever ›
Status: Le fin. Editing in progress.
Is This What You Meant by Forever?
babydoll.
“Wake up, babydoll,” Twitch cooed, “C’mon, rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty, today’s gonna be somethin’ special, y’gotta get up. Besides, y’gotta go t’school.”
I rolled over to look at the clock- 6:23. “Too early…Go away.”
“Not today, we don’t wanna wait today. Somethin’s gonna happen, I jus’ know it.”
“Fine, fine…I wouldn’t be able to sleep with you jabbering, anyhow,” I mumbled, hoisting myself up.
“That’s right, baby.” Twitch’s endearing voice coaxed me to drop my feet on the plush carpet and stand up on wobbly legs, “Now, was that so hard?”
“No, but I’m tired.”
“Course y’are, babydoll. I’m sorry I always wake y’up so early. Y’know how much I miss you when you sleep, babydoll.”
“Yes, Twitch.”
He then changed the subject. “I want y’ta stop takin’ those pills, babydoll. You’ve stopped dreaming right, so I can’t visit you when y’sleep. Don’tcha miss havin’ me in your dreams, babydoll?”
“Well, sure I do, Twitch, but my mom would have a fit if I stopped taking them,” I replied, pulling up my jeans and throwing on a Husker Du shirt.
“Mama doesn’t hafta know, babydoll. I needya t’promise me y’won’t take those pills anymore. They’re meant to get rid of me, to kill me. Do y’want to kill me, babydoll?” he asked gravely.
“No! Never, Twitch.” The thought alone scared me to death. I couldn't lose my precious Twitch. He meant the world to me.
“I jus’ love you so much, babydoll. Y’know that, don’tcha?”
“Yes, and I love you, too.”
I felt his warmth embrace me as he spoke, “This is how it’s s’posed to be, Benjamin,” I only smiled in response.
My relationship with Twitch was odd. I had no words to explain it correctly. He was my best friend, my rock, and I was his babydoll, for whatever that meant to him. I could tell him anything, but for the most part, he already knew, for he could pick through my brain whenever he pleased.
He was always so laid back; he almost sounded drunk. On that, I don’t think his voice changed at all throughout the eleven years I’d known him. The first time he spoke to me was at my fifth birthday party. I’d been crying, as my father had bailed out on me once again, and Twitch came to comfort me. At first, I was frightened, as I could feel and hear him, but he was out of sight; however, I later came to terms with that fact, under the impression that he was here for only me, like my own guardian angel—though I so desperately wanted to see him, to see my brother, my love.
It was quite obvious that I had a slight infatuation with him…No, that’s an understatement; I was completely obsessed with Twitch. I might have been in love with him, for all I knew.
As I drove to school that morning, I was content just listening to Twitch chatting away about everything and nothing. He continued to gab until I was seated for first hour. Despite his chatty morning, I didn’t hear much from him for the majority of the school day. Of course he was there, as he never really left me and he was constantly touching me to let me to know he wasn’t gone by holding my hand or even drawing shapes on my back. All in all, it seemed to be a very boring day.
Or so I thought.
After the last bell, I packed up and got out as fast as I could. Unfortunately, I didn’t get far. As I was walking around the back of the school to the parking lot, Jordan Pritchard, my biggest enemy, slammed me up against the red wall. “’Sup, freak?” he chuckled, his forearm pressed against my neck, making it a struggle to breathe. “Oh, cat’s got your tongue? Or are you too scared? You do seem extra twitchy today,” I hated when people mentioned my twitching, and so did Twitch, for obvious reasons, but I never acted on it.
“Don’t give into that jerk, babydoll. You’re strong. Let him know that, baby,” Twitch said lowly, “Hit him.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t pick a fight with Jordan. He would win and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I wasn’t stable enough as it was, I didn’t need to start getting violent, “You’re such a pansy, Sanders.”
“Hit him, babydoll! Don’t let him talk to you like that!”
I shook my head furiously. Jordan was laughing when Twitch yelled, “HIT HIM, GODDAMNIT!”
“No, I can’t,” I breathed shakily.
“Fine,” was all he said before my entire body went numb. I saw my knee come up and hit him in the groin and the sole of my shoe coming in contact with his chest, shoving him back and onto the ground.
He scrambled to get up, but I hit him back down, “What the f-” My fist cut him off as it hit him square in the jaw and grabbed his collar to yank him to his feet.
“Stop! Stop!” I cried, but no one heard me.
I, or should I say Twitch, was relentlessly punching Jordan. His nose was broken and bleeding, along with a busted lip and a blackening eye, “Please, I’m sorry-” Jordan coughed.
“Please, Twitch, stop hurting him! He said he’s sorry!” I begged.
Twitch heard me this time, paralyzing him long enough for Jordan to push him away and try to run, “Sorry, babydoll,” Twitch apologized aloud, surprising me by his demonic speaking voice. It was both his and mine. He then went after him and caught him by the wrists, pulling them backwards as he pressed my foot against Jordan’s spine. Jordan cried out in pain and fell to his knees, making me cringe but causing Twitch to erupt in giggles. But they were short and sweet because he was stone cold as he grabbed hold of Jordan’s head. However, a distant cry made him freeze.
“Hey, you! What are you doing!? Let him go!”
And Twitch only smiled as he swiftly twisted, the action joined by a sickening snap. He began to laugh again, but it was evil, as if it were saturated in blood, “Oops! Too late!” He mocked in that disturbing voice. The woman screamed as Twitch dropped the lifeless body like a toy. With a little hop, Twitch booked it out of there as fast as he could, still laughing hysterically.
Though I don’t know how he did it, something about the way he moved my body was beautiful. He made my usually clumsy-self appear graceful, like I was dancing.
But no matter of that…Twitch was dangerous. I loved him--oh, God did I love him--but he was now a threat to myself and others. I had to do something, but I could hardly imagine my life without him. I began crying, still in denial that he’d just murdered someone and that he didn’t seem to care, like some cold-blooded killer.
“Babydoll? Are you alright? Babydoll, please don’t cry,” His sprinting slowed to a jog as we traveled down 27th avenue.
“Y-y-you-you killed him, Twitchy! He’s dead! How could you do that?”
“Isn’t that what y’wanted? He’s always pickin’ on you. You wanted him t’stop--He needed t’stop. So I stopped him.”
“You didn’t need to kill him,” My voice was quiet. I couldn’t believe what he’d done.
“Babydoll, I did this for us! I wanted t'help you! I love you, babydoll, I never meant t'hurt you.”
“You know I love you, Twitch, but what you’ve done…This—this is on me now. I’ll be the one going to jail,” I cracked on the last word.
“I won’t let anybody take you away, babe. And besides, I’d be with you if they did, I would never leave you.”
What I said next was one of the hardest things I ever had to say, “Twitch, I think—I think you need to go.”
“No, babydoll! Don’t do this t’me…I’ll take care’a you, jus’ please don’t make me leave; don’t you take those pills! Please, babydoll. I won’t do it again! I’ll make it right. But this needed to happen. I had to protect you. I did this for us."
I couldn’t fight him any longer, “Oh, Twitchy, I know you did.”
“We can be together now, y’know; you and me. I’ve taken a life, s'now I get one of my own.”
“What?” I inquired, confused, but excited at the thought, “What do you mean?”
He was turning onto the walking path that led to the park when he answered me, “Well, babydoll, it means you’ll be able t'see me…We can finally meet officially.”
“I-I get to see you?” I was shocked.
“That’s right, babe.”
“You mean it? You’re not joking around?” I felt fresh tears brewing, despite the fact that I wasn't physically in control. I’d been dreaming of this for years. It was hard not even knowing what the only person you loved looked like.
“I wouldn’t joke about something so important t'ya, babydoll,” He stopped abruptly, in a secluded patch of grass, surrounded by trees, “Now, I want you to relax,” I was having a hard time with that as I was nearly blinded by the sheer bliss I was overcome with, “Relax, honey,” Twitch’s soothing voice eventually led me to a calmer state and he closed my eyes a second before I began to have control over my body once again. Still in my head, Twitch ordered, “Keep your eyes shut,” So I did, even when I no longer felt his presence in my mind, a feeling I hadn’t felt in eleven years.
After as long, torturous moment, Twitch breathed, “Open them, precious,” I jumped a bit at the sound of his voice a few feet away from me. It was really happening. I eagerly opened them to find him there, in front of me; an actual person—I wasn’t insane. He was everything I’d ever imagined and more. He was dressed in beat-up converse and dark skinny jeans, along with a fitted leather jacket. His hair was a bleached blonde with dark roots and it curled a little at the tips; he wasn’t exactly short, but he wasn’t particularly tall, just a few inches more than me, and he was lean.
But overall, it was his eyes that stopped me. At first, he had white-framed sunglasses on, but pulled them off to reveal the most piercing green eyes I’d ever seen; they were almost neon. He flashed me a smile full of perfectly crooked teeth and genuine warmth and I practically fell into his arms, holding him, smelling him, trying to take in as much as I could in case I was dreaming. However, I found it peculiar that his scent was distinctly of cologne, peppermint and cigarettes. Sure, he’d talked me into smoking and drinking before, but when he realized how much I hated it, he stopped pressuring me—so how could he smell of smoke? Honestly, I didn’t even care. I was just happy I could feel him. I practically forgot about his recent reprehensible act.
He then held me at arm’s length, grinning infectiously. But underneath, I saw something in his eyes…Remorse? Fear? Contempt? Maybe even boredom? I couldn’t tell. He must have noticed, for he let go –to my displeasure- and pulled off his jacket, setting it on the wooden bench. What I saw on his fitted, white button-up nearly made me sick; it was covered in blood, old blood, fresh blood—
“Don’t be scared, babydoll,” He cooed as he adjusted his rolled-up sleeves.
“I-I’m not,” I lied.
That’s when he pulled me to him again, gently gripping the back of my neck to bring me closer and he whispered in my ear, “I love you, Benjamin, don’t you ever forget that.”
I started to respond when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, causing me to gasp loudly.
He didn’t…Did he? He wouldn’t, not if he really loved me…But the pain washed away all doubt that he did.
“You didn’t trust me, babydoll. You were afraid of me. I knew you were gonna kill me with those pills-- I didn’t want t'do this,” I could hear his voice breaking and hot tears soaking the hair he pressed his face against, “I’m sorry, babydoll. I love you. I love you so much.”
And despite the fact that he held a knife in me, I tightened my hold on him, because I would always love him. He’d been there for me when everyone else wasn’t, and I was grateful, no matter what.
I pressed my lips to his forehead as his body fell limp in my arms. I’d never cried like this when I killed before. I don’t know what came over me.
When I was sure the poor kid was dead, I pulled out the blade and rest him on the bench, snatching up my jacket, I kissed the top of his head, and walked away without looking back.
I didn't have enough years. I needed sixteen and I only got eleven out of him. How the hell was I gonna do the job without enough?
I’d just have to get more. It’s not like I haven’t been doing this for centuries.
I walked down the path and found a family sitting at a picnic table. Like a hawk to its prey, I targeted the young girl like I had Benjamin, “How are you, babydoll?”
I rolled over to look at the clock- 6:23. “Too early…Go away.”
“Not today, we don’t wanna wait today. Somethin’s gonna happen, I jus’ know it.”
“Fine, fine…I wouldn’t be able to sleep with you jabbering, anyhow,” I mumbled, hoisting myself up.
“That’s right, baby.” Twitch’s endearing voice coaxed me to drop my feet on the plush carpet and stand up on wobbly legs, “Now, was that so hard?”
“No, but I’m tired.”
“Course y’are, babydoll. I’m sorry I always wake y’up so early. Y’know how much I miss you when you sleep, babydoll.”
“Yes, Twitch.”
He then changed the subject. “I want y’ta stop takin’ those pills, babydoll. You’ve stopped dreaming right, so I can’t visit you when y’sleep. Don’tcha miss havin’ me in your dreams, babydoll?”
“Well, sure I do, Twitch, but my mom would have a fit if I stopped taking them,” I replied, pulling up my jeans and throwing on a Husker Du shirt.
“Mama doesn’t hafta know, babydoll. I needya t’promise me y’won’t take those pills anymore. They’re meant to get rid of me, to kill me. Do y’want to kill me, babydoll?” he asked gravely.
“No! Never, Twitch.” The thought alone scared me to death. I couldn't lose my precious Twitch. He meant the world to me.
“I jus’ love you so much, babydoll. Y’know that, don’tcha?”
“Yes, and I love you, too.”
I felt his warmth embrace me as he spoke, “This is how it’s s’posed to be, Benjamin,” I only smiled in response.
My relationship with Twitch was odd. I had no words to explain it correctly. He was my best friend, my rock, and I was his babydoll, for whatever that meant to him. I could tell him anything, but for the most part, he already knew, for he could pick through my brain whenever he pleased.
He was always so laid back; he almost sounded drunk. On that, I don’t think his voice changed at all throughout the eleven years I’d known him. The first time he spoke to me was at my fifth birthday party. I’d been crying, as my father had bailed out on me once again, and Twitch came to comfort me. At first, I was frightened, as I could feel and hear him, but he was out of sight; however, I later came to terms with that fact, under the impression that he was here for only me, like my own guardian angel—though I so desperately wanted to see him, to see my brother, my love.
It was quite obvious that I had a slight infatuation with him…No, that’s an understatement; I was completely obsessed with Twitch. I might have been in love with him, for all I knew.
As I drove to school that morning, I was content just listening to Twitch chatting away about everything and nothing. He continued to gab until I was seated for first hour. Despite his chatty morning, I didn’t hear much from him for the majority of the school day. Of course he was there, as he never really left me and he was constantly touching me to let me to know he wasn’t gone by holding my hand or even drawing shapes on my back. All in all, it seemed to be a very boring day.
Or so I thought.
After the last bell, I packed up and got out as fast as I could. Unfortunately, I didn’t get far. As I was walking around the back of the school to the parking lot, Jordan Pritchard, my biggest enemy, slammed me up against the red wall. “’Sup, freak?” he chuckled, his forearm pressed against my neck, making it a struggle to breathe. “Oh, cat’s got your tongue? Or are you too scared? You do seem extra twitchy today,” I hated when people mentioned my twitching, and so did Twitch, for obvious reasons, but I never acted on it.
“Don’t give into that jerk, babydoll. You’re strong. Let him know that, baby,” Twitch said lowly, “Hit him.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t pick a fight with Jordan. He would win and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I wasn’t stable enough as it was, I didn’t need to start getting violent, “You’re such a pansy, Sanders.”
“Hit him, babydoll! Don’t let him talk to you like that!”
I shook my head furiously. Jordan was laughing when Twitch yelled, “HIT HIM, GODDAMNIT!”
“No, I can’t,” I breathed shakily.
“Fine,” was all he said before my entire body went numb. I saw my knee come up and hit him in the groin and the sole of my shoe coming in contact with his chest, shoving him back and onto the ground.
He scrambled to get up, but I hit him back down, “What the f-” My fist cut him off as it hit him square in the jaw and grabbed his collar to yank him to his feet.
“Stop! Stop!” I cried, but no one heard me.
I, or should I say Twitch, was relentlessly punching Jordan. His nose was broken and bleeding, along with a busted lip and a blackening eye, “Please, I’m sorry-” Jordan coughed.
“Please, Twitch, stop hurting him! He said he’s sorry!” I begged.
Twitch heard me this time, paralyzing him long enough for Jordan to push him away and try to run, “Sorry, babydoll,” Twitch apologized aloud, surprising me by his demonic speaking voice. It was both his and mine. He then went after him and caught him by the wrists, pulling them backwards as he pressed my foot against Jordan’s spine. Jordan cried out in pain and fell to his knees, making me cringe but causing Twitch to erupt in giggles. But they were short and sweet because he was stone cold as he grabbed hold of Jordan’s head. However, a distant cry made him freeze.
“Hey, you! What are you doing!? Let him go!”
And Twitch only smiled as he swiftly twisted, the action joined by a sickening snap. He began to laugh again, but it was evil, as if it were saturated in blood, “Oops! Too late!” He mocked in that disturbing voice. The woman screamed as Twitch dropped the lifeless body like a toy. With a little hop, Twitch booked it out of there as fast as he could, still laughing hysterically.
Though I don’t know how he did it, something about the way he moved my body was beautiful. He made my usually clumsy-self appear graceful, like I was dancing.
But no matter of that…Twitch was dangerous. I loved him--oh, God did I love him--but he was now a threat to myself and others. I had to do something, but I could hardly imagine my life without him. I began crying, still in denial that he’d just murdered someone and that he didn’t seem to care, like some cold-blooded killer.
“Babydoll? Are you alright? Babydoll, please don’t cry,” His sprinting slowed to a jog as we traveled down 27th avenue.
“Y-y-you-you killed him, Twitchy! He’s dead! How could you do that?”
“Isn’t that what y’wanted? He’s always pickin’ on you. You wanted him t’stop--He needed t’stop. So I stopped him.”
“You didn’t need to kill him,” My voice was quiet. I couldn’t believe what he’d done.
“Babydoll, I did this for us! I wanted t'help you! I love you, babydoll, I never meant t'hurt you.”
“You know I love you, Twitch, but what you’ve done…This—this is on me now. I’ll be the one going to jail,” I cracked on the last word.
“I won’t let anybody take you away, babe. And besides, I’d be with you if they did, I would never leave you.”
What I said next was one of the hardest things I ever had to say, “Twitch, I think—I think you need to go.”
“No, babydoll! Don’t do this t’me…I’ll take care’a you, jus’ please don’t make me leave; don’t you take those pills! Please, babydoll. I won’t do it again! I’ll make it right. But this needed to happen. I had to protect you. I did this for us."
I couldn’t fight him any longer, “Oh, Twitchy, I know you did.”
“We can be together now, y’know; you and me. I’ve taken a life, s'now I get one of my own.”
“What?” I inquired, confused, but excited at the thought, “What do you mean?”
He was turning onto the walking path that led to the park when he answered me, “Well, babydoll, it means you’ll be able t'see me…We can finally meet officially.”
“I-I get to see you?” I was shocked.
“That’s right, babe.”
“You mean it? You’re not joking around?” I felt fresh tears brewing, despite the fact that I wasn't physically in control. I’d been dreaming of this for years. It was hard not even knowing what the only person you loved looked like.
“I wouldn’t joke about something so important t'ya, babydoll,” He stopped abruptly, in a secluded patch of grass, surrounded by trees, “Now, I want you to relax,” I was having a hard time with that as I was nearly blinded by the sheer bliss I was overcome with, “Relax, honey,” Twitch’s soothing voice eventually led me to a calmer state and he closed my eyes a second before I began to have control over my body once again. Still in my head, Twitch ordered, “Keep your eyes shut,” So I did, even when I no longer felt his presence in my mind, a feeling I hadn’t felt in eleven years.
After as long, torturous moment, Twitch breathed, “Open them, precious,” I jumped a bit at the sound of his voice a few feet away from me. It was really happening. I eagerly opened them to find him there, in front of me; an actual person—I wasn’t insane. He was everything I’d ever imagined and more. He was dressed in beat-up converse and dark skinny jeans, along with a fitted leather jacket. His hair was a bleached blonde with dark roots and it curled a little at the tips; he wasn’t exactly short, but he wasn’t particularly tall, just a few inches more than me, and he was lean.
But overall, it was his eyes that stopped me. At first, he had white-framed sunglasses on, but pulled them off to reveal the most piercing green eyes I’d ever seen; they were almost neon. He flashed me a smile full of perfectly crooked teeth and genuine warmth and I practically fell into his arms, holding him, smelling him, trying to take in as much as I could in case I was dreaming. However, I found it peculiar that his scent was distinctly of cologne, peppermint and cigarettes. Sure, he’d talked me into smoking and drinking before, but when he realized how much I hated it, he stopped pressuring me—so how could he smell of smoke? Honestly, I didn’t even care. I was just happy I could feel him. I practically forgot about his recent reprehensible act.
He then held me at arm’s length, grinning infectiously. But underneath, I saw something in his eyes…Remorse? Fear? Contempt? Maybe even boredom? I couldn’t tell. He must have noticed, for he let go –to my displeasure- and pulled off his jacket, setting it on the wooden bench. What I saw on his fitted, white button-up nearly made me sick; it was covered in blood, old blood, fresh blood—
“Don’t be scared, babydoll,” He cooed as he adjusted his rolled-up sleeves.
“I-I’m not,” I lied.
That’s when he pulled me to him again, gently gripping the back of my neck to bring me closer and he whispered in my ear, “I love you, Benjamin, don’t you ever forget that.”
I started to respond when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, causing me to gasp loudly.
He didn’t…Did he? He wouldn’t, not if he really loved me…But the pain washed away all doubt that he did.
“You didn’t trust me, babydoll. You were afraid of me. I knew you were gonna kill me with those pills-- I didn’t want t'do this,” I could hear his voice breaking and hot tears soaking the hair he pressed his face against, “I’m sorry, babydoll. I love you. I love you so much.”
And despite the fact that he held a knife in me, I tightened my hold on him, because I would always love him. He’d been there for me when everyone else wasn’t, and I was grateful, no matter what.
I pressed my lips to his forehead as his body fell limp in my arms. I’d never cried like this when I killed before. I don’t know what came over me.
When I was sure the poor kid was dead, I pulled out the blade and rest him on the bench, snatching up my jacket, I kissed the top of his head, and walked away without looking back.
I didn't have enough years. I needed sixteen and I only got eleven out of him. How the hell was I gonna do the job without enough?
I’d just have to get more. It’s not like I haven’t been doing this for centuries.
I walked down the path and found a family sitting at a picnic table. Like a hawk to its prey, I targeted the young girl like I had Benjamin, “How are you, babydoll?”