Obsessed With the Thought of You

“You’re distressed,” I hear behind me and I close my eyes with a sigh as I recognise Jorel's voice.

"You’re observant," I reply tightly.
"You don't like me," he comments.

"Well blimey, you should be called Captain J Braincell," I say as I turn my gaze towards him and my lips tighten as my face turns cold.

"You’ll come round,. I know it," he smirks nodding.
"You seem very sure of yourself," I challenge.

"You’re a curious being who yearns for freedom and respect of others. You yearn to be able to do what you feel like,” he says as he steps closer and leans in so our faces are centimetres away.

My breath catches in my throat as my body heats up when he nears me. His eyes drift to my lips before back to my eyes. I see focus and concentration in his brown eyes as he keeps his stare.

"To do what you’re body is telling you to do," he continues as he circles a curl of my hair around his finger.

I almost lose myself in his gaze before my brain clicks back into gear. "What are you talking about, Bloodbath?" I snap frowning in confusion.

"They wrap you up in cotton wool," he says releasing my hair and I realise he's talking about Jordan and Dylan.

"You don't know a damn thing about us," I reply and look out at the sea again as he steps even closer and I feel his breath on my neck and ear as he speaks.

"I know that as each day passes the temptation, to stop adhering to rules and what you think is expected of you, becomes greater and greater. There will come a time when you are unable to resist," he says and walks back into the captain's lounge before I can ask anymore questions.

I shake my head and glare at the ocean. "This is going to get rather ugly," I mumble to myself.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I spend the afternoon in the fresh air watching the men work and looking at the sea. Jordan has spent the afternoon walking around the ship being given a tour by George, Matt and their captain.

I refused point blank to go with them, assuring them that I wouldn't need to know the layout of the ship because we will be leaving soon enough. Jorel smirked at my sass without saying a word and led the men away as I scowled onwards.

I see the men emerge from the hatch to rejoin the crew on the main deck and watch them go into the captain’s lounge. I hastily get to my feet and storm over there. I open the door with force and Jorel stops mid sentence to look over at me from under his dark eyelashes.

"I want to see Dylan," I demand.

Silence fills the room as the four men stare at me. Matt looks at Jorel and George rolls his eyes. Jordan just watches me closely; probably worried I'm going to have some sort of outburst that will land us in trouble.

Jorel leans back in his chair causing it to creak as I wait for his response. He keeps his eyes on me as he opens his mouth to speak in a lazy, indifferent manner. "Bellamy!" He calls and within moments a man appears beside me.

"Yes cap'n?" He asks politely.
"Fix Disgruntled some refreshments and bring it in on a tray," Jorel tells him.

He nods before leaving the room and Jorel looks back at me. He holds his hand out and gestures for me to sit down. I stay standing and fold my arms across my chest. He sighs and shakes his head.

"Sit down while you wait for Bellamy to come back," he explains. "When he does, you can take the refreshments to Disgruntled yourself."

"I want Jordan to come with me," I say wanting to have someone I feel safe with escort me down there as it frightened me being there the last time.

"Cutthroat is busy," Jorel replies.
"I want him to come with me," I say in a stronger tone and he rolls his eyes.

"'I want' doesn't get," he tells me as he leans forward onto the table.
"I don't care," I say and lean forward too.

"Spoilt brat," George mumbles.
"Excuse me?" I ask in a challenging tone turning my gaze towards him.

"You heard me," he answers. "You're so used to gettin' your own fuckin' way."

"Yeah I'd quit the fuckin' attitude if I were you poppet," Matt says giving me a dirty look. "Pouting and whining might have worked on the Gallows Tears but it sure as hell ain't gonna fly on this ship."

"Matthew," Jorel barks and Matt looks over at him shocked that he, not only didn't use his pirate name, but that he also used his full name.

"Yes sir?" Matt answers sensing he was out of line somehow.

"Speak to her like that again and you'll be roped to the aft of the ship and you can float like ‘Just Married’ tin cans along with the dolphins all the way to the next bit of land," he tells him in a calm but dangerous voice.

"Uh sorry captain," Matt says looking confused.
"You don't need to apologise to me," Jorel replies.

Matt looks at him shocked again before looking at me and then back at Jorel again who nods. "Sorry Bones," Matt mumbles with a sigh looking down at the table.

"Whatever," I reply childishly. "Can Jordan come with me?" I press again.
"No," Jorel says and his eyes are soft but the rest of his face is stern.

I figuratively step down and accept his final answer, sensing that I will get no joy in persisting further. "Fine," I say.

I look at the floor picturing all those anguished faces and the agonised groans from the medibay. I frown not wanting to go down there by myself. Seconds later the door opens again and the smell of bread fills the air.

Bellamy places a tray on the table and I see a tall glass of water and some food on it. I look at it and then at Jorel before picking it up and heading straight for the door. I try to remember which set of stairs Jorel took us down earlier that got us to the medibay.

I hear talking resume in the captain's lounge before the door swings shut behind me. I make my way to the main deck and look at the hatches that lead to different sets of stairs.

"Cat!" I turn towards the voice calling me and see Jorel catching up to me. "I saw that look on your face. You're nervous about going there by yourself aren’t you? That's why you wanted Cutthroat with you?"

I open my mouth in surprise at how accurately he can read me. "Um, yes," I stammer.
"I thought I’d accompany you in light of this," he replies with a smile.

I look in front of us and furrow my eyebrows before looking back at him. "Lead the way," I say and he nods cupping my elbow and taking the tray from me.

He gently pulls me along as he holds the tray in one hand with ease. "I think you and Knucks'll be great friends," he smiles at me. "She's always talkin' about having a girl mate for the ship."

"I know that felling," I mumble but he hears me.
"Then you really should be great friends," he says as we reach a door.

"We'll be off this ship before that will ever happen," I threaten despite wanting to become friends with her but wanting to be on our own ship again more.

"Ok most of the wounded should be asleep by now so they won't be screaming like they were earlier," he tells me ignoring my comment. "Just look at the floor ok princess?"

I nod and do so as we walk into the room. I hear some light groaning and chatter as he reaches behind him to grab my hand. I think about pulling away but know that that would mean I will have to watch where I’m going. This way I don’t have to look at anyone and just be pulled along.

We walk for a few moments and then we reach another door. He lets me go and opens it before looking back at me. He tugs my hand a little and I look up at him.

“Ladies first,” he smiles and gestures for me to go in.

I do so and see Ada sat in the corner writing in a notebook. I look around and realise this is a private patient room. I find Dylan led on a bed in another corner of the room. Jorel places the tray on the table beside the bed and then walks over to Ada.

I go up to Dylan as I hear the other two converse together quietly. I see his sleeping face and smile to myself seeing how at ease he looks in comparison to the distress he exhibited earlier.

I look down at his bare chest to see bandages wrapped around his middle with a large red patch on them. I then scan my eyes over the rest of him and see his arm is in a similar state. I run my hand down his forearm until I reach his hand.

I hold his hand and look over his wounds again as I feel someone walk up behind me. I sigh to myself about Dylan and realise it must be Ada as the shadow cast over me is not so tall.

“He’s doing well,” she tells me. “He’s just sleeping off the morphine I gave him so I could take out the bullet without him being a pussy about it.”

I nod as she continues to speak. “I cleaned up the cuts and scratches so he shouldn’t get any infections. I gave him stitches on the gash on his arm. His prognosis looks very good.”

“Thanks for taking care of him,” I say and give her a smile as she touches my shoulder supportively. “Do you know when he’s likely to wake up?” I ask looking at her.

“Right about now that the food’s here, yo,” I hear Dylan say croakily. I look down at him to see him peering at the tray.

“Don’t try to sit up just yet,” Ada advises him and he nods.

“Wanna help me have some of that water Bones?” He asks me and I grab the glass slowly tilting it towards his mouth.

Ada goes back to her business and Jorel comes up to my side. “You have some fine men,” he comments to Dylan who looks at him resentfully.

“I know,” he replies self-assuredly.
“They’re a fine addition to our current crew,” Jorel goes on.

“There’s gonna be no addition to any fuckin’ crew,” Dylan spits. “This little stunt you’ve pulled ain’t gonna last long. As soon as it’s possible, we’re out of this shithole.”

Jorel’s expression doesn’t change until he looks over at me. He adorns a light smile and then looks back at Dylan. “Well,” he smirks. “We’ll see about that. The future turn of events could shock you.”

“What does that mean?” Dylan asks.

“You might not wanna go if it means leaving behind someone you hold close to your heart,” Jorel answers.

“You’re not going all mystical and confusing again are you?” I mock, remembering his weird conversation up on deck when he was talking to me about selfish impulses.

Jorel shoots me a smile and looks back to Dylan. “I told you I always eventually get what I want and right now what I want is something you couldn’t bare to live without. So when I get it, you’ll be forced to stay.”

Dylan and me both look at him in utter confusion before he turns to leave. “You’re even crazier than your fuckin’ father was!” Dylan calls after him.

Jorel doesn’t reply and slams the door behind him. Ada comes over to us and whistles at the tension in the room. “Well I feel all warm and fuzzy, don’t you?”

“Not yet bella, but I know how I could feel all warm and fuzzy,” Dylan turns on the charm making me rolls my eyes and Ada laugh at his attempt.

“Think of that line all by yourself?” She teases.
“You know it,” he grins at her.

“Don’t you wanna know where Jordan is?” I press him and he looks over at me.

“Well I assume he’s still on board somewhere,” Dylan replies. “I know you woulda made a fuss if they’d made him walk the plank.”

“Don’t play with me Dylan,” I scold him. “Now isn’t the time. We need to make a plan.”

“Bones, chill out babe,” Dylan says relaxing on the bed. “We aren’t gonna reach land for a while, so short of sailing away on the life boats, we can’t leave.”

I frown and look down at the mattress as he watches me. “We will figure somethin’ out but right now I’m sore and I’m tired and there’s a honey in the room I’d like to get to know. So how about you quiz me on escape routes later?”

I look up at him and frown harder as I give him a glare. “Aron would have been the first to start plotting our escape,” I say cruelly before storming to the door.

I slam it behind me not bothering to wait and hear his response. I dash as quickly as I can out of the medibay and up the stairs to get me to the top deck so that I don’t have to stay with the wounded or listen to their catcalls.

I stand in the fresh air and I clasp my hands over my face as I let out a deep breath. I hear hustle and bustle go on around me as I take a minute to get my head around all that has happened in this short day.

I’ve lost my home, my belongings, a large proportion of my crew. My captain in now a measly first-mate and Jordan is no longer the right-hand man but just another part of the crew. On top of this, I now have to live with people I hate.