Heartaches Knocking on Her Door

After many hugs and assurances from Marcus that he would call every day and that Liv could do this on her own, Marcus had driven away with Hanna after dropping Liv off at the hotel that the band was staying at, in the heart of San Francisco.

Having changed into a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a black shear blouse littered with menacing white skulls and a pair of black leather converse, Liv entered the hotel lobby, replaying the conversation she had had with her grandpa. He had been worried, a young woman on tour with a bunch of middle aged men? But Liv had put his mind to ease and assured him she could take care of herself. He had eventually accepted a situation out of his control and agreed to wire Liv the money from the family home as soon as it was sold. Though Liv barely knew her grandfather it warmed her heart none the less when he had told her that his home in Brooklyn was always open to her and that he had even bought her a used car for her to drive when he had thought she would be living there. She had thanked him profusely, a tear in her eye. She wished her mother were the one worrying about her however.

Looking around she spotted Seppo lounging in a chair in the lobby. He wore a dark blue track suit jacket and baseball cap covering his gray hair. Liv made her way over to him, he stood up smiling when he saw her.

“Hello my dear. I am Seppo Vesterinen. I hope your ride over was alright? Here is your room key, Ville insisted on paying for your hotel stay while we are in San Francisco. Now I’m sure you are tired from the drive but we must talk business, so I’ll let you put your things away and then we can grab a coffee and talk? Oh and here is the tour schedule, we stay two nights in San Francisco until we move on to Chicago. Now go and I’ll be waiting here.”

Upon approaching Seppo the knots in Liv’s stomach had grown but after hearing him speak in his thick accent so kindly to her she felt much better. Giving him a nod and accepting the schedule she left him in search of her room.

She wandered the hotel trying to find her room, until she finally ended up on the right floor, the 6th. I wonder if the rest of the band is on the same floor, Liv thought as she checked door numbers for the one on her key card. 664, 665, 666, 667, 668. She stopped in front of 668, she had arrived at her door. Liv had never used a key card before, so she stood in front of her door, struggling to open it when the green light gave the okay, but not being fast enough. She heard a door open from down the hall but paid no attention.

“Need help?” asked a gruff voice from behind her.

Mige stood behind Liv looking highly amused. He wore a worn Pink Floyd tee, cut up jeans, and an army jacket over top, beard in full bloom.

“Please” Liv meekly replied.

“Your Liv right?” He said, taking the key card from her and instantly opening the door, revealing a spacious hotel room.

Liv nodded as she picked up her heavy suitcase.

“It’s going to be an interesting tour having a chick along. Especially one so sweet and innocent” He mocked, leaning into Liv’s doorway as she dragged her suitcase in.

“I’ll have you know that despite my at times debilitating shyness, I am far from sweet and innocent” She crossed her arms, staring Mige down.

Mige suddenly laughed aloud. “You’re alright kid. Heads up though, we may all be old farts who just want to sleep, and worship Satan of course, but we aren’t like that all the time. Do you think you can keep up?”

“I’ll try my best” Liv smiled back at him.

“Good. We’ll initiate you to the tour tonight after the show, get you proper fucked up.” He didn’t wait for Liv to reply, walking down the hall to the elevator.

Liv shook her head, what did I get myself into, she asked herself, glad though that everyone was being so kind so far. Tying her hair back in a ponytail, she unpacked a few of her belongings until grabbing her camera and heading out the door to meet up with Seppo.

***

The show had been amazing. The crowd had swayed, sung, to every song. Ville walked thinking back on it all, it was an hour later, everyone had returned to the hotel with plans to meet in Mige’s room later for some drinking, but after quickly returning to the hotel, Ville had set out in search of a convenience store, he was out of Marlboro’s.

It was a cool night as he wondered the neighbourhood around the hotel wearing his leather jacket and a fresh shirt, sweaty hair still under a beanie. Nervously strumming his fingers against his thigh, silver rings clinking, he suddenly became frustrated at himself. It had been Seppo’s bright idea to have Liv in the crowd at the concert, right in front of the stage taking pictures, and Ville couldn’t help but be continually distracted by her. He hadn’t seen her all day until he had walked on stage, and there she was, black curls swaying with the crowd, hazel eyes peering out from behind her camera.

Ville began to walk faster, he needed to get back to the hotel as soon as possible. Mige had filled him in on his little initiation plan and Ville didn’t like it, they’re going to get the poor girl pissed drunk, he thought. He wanted to see Liv after the show, to welcome her to the tour, to talk with her, be with her, but she’d disappeared with Seppo. Ville shook himself, again Ville, he told himself, she may be beautiful but the girl is almost half your age, in fact you don’t even know how old she even is.

Eventually he had found a convenience store and returned to the hotel, 3 new packs of Marlboro’s stuffed in his pockets, stopping outside of Mige’s door when he heard the voices inside, making out Liv’s laughter.

“Ville!” they all called as he entered the room. A table which Ville assumed had been to the side of the room stood in the middle, littered with cans of coke and various alcoholic beverages. The whole band was there, along with a few roadies, and Liv, who hadn’t noticed his arrival until the group had called out his name. She sat at the far end of the table playing chess against Jarno, the roadie, the son of a friend of Seppo’s from Finland, and by Jarno’s worried expression, Ville could tell Liv was winning. Ville smiled to himself, he was for sure going to play her tonight, he looked forward to it.

Walking in he patted Mige on the back, he was standing, nursing a beer, and looking over the shoulder of Burton who was playing cards with Linde, Gas, and three other roadies.

“There isn’t any water, but there is cola, and beer if you are up to drink” Mige said, eyes still fixed on Burtons cards.

“Have I been missing out on much?” Ville asked as he grabbed an unopened diet coke from the table.

“Not really, though you did miss Burtons announcement that if he lost this round he would do another dare. Hopefully we can come up with something more cruel than the nude gas mask one. And you must check out Liv, she only came a few minutes ago, quiet as a mouse, but she is already making Jarno, the self-professed chess champion, sweat.”

Ville smiled, looking over at Liv’s match, watching as Jarno made a fatal move.

Mige looked up from Burton, following Ville’s gaze. “I told her I’d give her a half hour like she said, you know, to open up, until I make her shot gun a few beers.”

Ville rolled his eyes, going around the table, whispering Burtons hand to Linde as he passed. He went over to Liv and Jarno in time for Liv to call “check mate” and win the game.

“I’ll take over from here” Ville smile as he put a hand on Jarno’s shoulder.

The two looked up at him. Jarno’s face seemed slightly miffed. Liv’s large hazel eyes reflected the smile that had come upon her face.

“She cheats” Jarno said getting up and joining the group at the other end of the table.

Ville took a seat and began resetting the board. “How do you like everything so far?”

“Well, after getting your call I was terrified, but, it’s all amazing. I keep waiting to wake up, for something to go terribly wrong.” She was practically speechless, Ville smirked.

“That’s quite negative of you.” Ville said, making his first move, in the game that is.

“Well life isn’t so full of rainbows and sunshine isn’t it. And you are one to talk, your lyrics are nothing but negative, mostly at least.” Ville laughed aloud, the girl had a mouth on her. He was glad she had become more talkative.

“Very true, very true. You know, honestly darling I keep waiting for you to ask for an autograph or a photo with me or Linde or someone else. Are you not a fan?” He wanted to ask her so much more, but Ville didn’t want to barrage Liv with a thousand questions.

“Well that’s a bit high and mighty to assume that I’m not a fan just because I’m not swooning at your feet Mr. Valo.” Liv crossed her arms after taking out one of Ville’s pieces.

“I like this girl” Came Burtons amused voice from behind Liv. “She’s putting you in your place Hermanni, and not just in the game”

Ville rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just curious, none of us knows anything really about you, and if you’re going to be on tour with us old men, than we should find out more about you.”

“I refuse to have a stranger in our midst!” Mige sarcastically proclaimed as he came over to watch Ville and Liv’s match with Burton.

“well ask away than, I’ll answer every and all questions thoroughly and truthfully” Liv smirked, moving a piece.

“And she isn’t even drunk” said Linde as he joined the onlookers with Gas and the roadies.

“yet” Mige maniacally laughed, handing Liv a beer, staring her down until she opened it and took a sip.

“Let’s start off with the basics, the kind of things you might put on some cheesy dating website” Ville dramatically took out one of her pieces, though he had been sweating. The girl was really good at chess, but he had no doubt that he would be the victor of the match.

“Liv Manning. Use to live in LA. Use to go to study photography. Use to have a job. Basically I use to have many things which I don’t anymore. I like to read, listen to music, write. I had a roommate named Marcus, he is basically my only friend. No pets. My dad was Irish and Mom was Hungarian. No siblings. Lived in the US my whole life. Oh and I’m 21. I’m not sure what else you guys want to hear. ”

Ville’s heart sank. She was only 21. Barely an adult. He internally shook himself. Though he was glad that he had gotten Liv this job he needed to stop. Stop thinking about her in the way he had been. He needed to erase the picture of her from his mind especially, for it had been ever present since he had first seen it. Ville was never one to mind social taboo’s but honestly, what would people think of him, him and some young 21 year old, though that was even if Liv had feelings for him, or if he had any for her, which I don’t, he lied to himself. How could I? I don’t know her.

Ville’s quickly finished the game with a “Check mate” he couldn’t stand looking into those hazel eyes anymore.

“I think I’ll retire to my room. You know me, ever the recluse. Good game Liv, you really had me by the balls there for a moment. Good night everyone.” He waved, walking for the door, everyone else stood looking at him. Ville hadn’t noticed but to the crowd it was quite obvious that his reaction, his sudden departure, seemed to be the direct result of Liv’s short bio.

“älä päästä häntä liian kännissä” (don’t get her too drunk) He called out over his shoulder in Finnish.

Ville turned to close the door behind him, catching sight of Liv’s confused expression before shutting it. He stalked off to his room to distract himself with a book.

***

An hour later Ville sat on his bed strumming his acoustic, unable to sleep, when he heard a knock at his door. He curiously set aside the guitar and answered the door.

Liv stood in front of the door, eagerly clutching her camera, looking a little disheveled and quit obviously drunk because of the slight sway in her stance. “Sorry if I woke you, the guys said that you would be up, something about you being a mopey bastard with a Neil Young complex.”

He let out a laugh. “They know me all too well. What would you like my dear?”

“Well um I was taking some candid’s of the guys and didn’t want you to miss out, so they told me you would be up, if I could find your room that is.” She flashed him a smile.

“Ah well I guess my room isn’t too hard to find is it?” Ville smirked.

“The devils lair” Liv replied pointing to his room number, 666.

“and aren’t you afraid of disturbing the devil” Ville couldn’t help but tease her.

“Not if he’s a mopey bastard. And besides, you wouldn’t hurt a fly, though you may rip out the wings of a butterfly” She let out a small laugh at her own joke.

It was the most beautiful laugh Ville had ever heard. I’m going to hate myself for this later, he though as he moved out of the door way. “Come in” He said, trying to sound menacing.

She hesitated for a moment before going in, he shut the door behind her.

“um, I guess just do whatever you were doing before, I’ll just take a few shots and be on my way.” Liv uncapped the lens protector and rolled up her sleeves.

Ville hopped up on the bed and began strumming random chords on his acoustic. Trying not to watch as Liv moved about the room, taking shots from different angels, dodging the mess that had already grown on the floor of his room.

“Liv, why were you in the hospital that night I met you. I don’t mean to pry, you can refuse to answer if you wish.” He’d wanted to know the answer to that question ever since he had first seen her, unconscious, being rushed down the hospital hall on the gurney, tragically beautiful.

Liv stopped taking pictures, she lowered the camera, he face became sombre. Ville regretted his question instantly. She took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Sleeping pill overdose. It wasn’t intentional though. Honestly the next morning I just barely managed to convince the hospital staff I wasn’t suicidal.” She kept her gaze on the ground, her hair partially covered her face as she looked down.

“Is, Is there a reason why you would have been, suicidal?” Ville cautiously asked, setting aside the guitar and sitting closer to Liv on the bed. He lifted his arm to place it comfortingly on her back, but quickly retreated it.

“My mom died a month ago from a heart attack. But you know, I’m alright now. Yeah so uh let’s just continue, I’ll just take a few more shots and go.” Liv was convincing anyone, but Ville went to grab his guitar again, the random notes becoming more melancholy, slower, sombre. And as Liv continued, he couldn’t help but whisper a few lyrics aloud. “I see through the darkness, my way back home. The journey seems endless, but I’ll carry on.” He stopped though, when he saw his hotel room light reflecting of the oncoming tears in Liv’s eyes that threatened to spill over.

Changing back to random notes, Ville tried to lighten the mood.

“You know, I looked through your camera on the plane ride over, not that I needed much convincing of your talent. All the shots were very beautiful.” Ville couldn’t take not speaking to her while she worked.

Liv smiled from behind her camera, wiping her eyes and taking one last shot. “I think this should be good enough. And thank you, though you should have really asked my permission first, but hey, if it helped me get the job I’m not complaining. You’ve been very sweet, that’s not the right word, but you know what I mean. You know I keep waiting to see a bunch of groupies hanging around. I thought you were some sort of Casanova. You know what, ignore me, I don’t usually drink, okay I’m rambling now, I’ll stop. Bye.” She quickly left the room before Ville could say a word.

He jumped up off the bed, catching up with Liv who stood in front of her room, a few doors down, struggling with her key card.

“Look, Liv, I’m not some ladies man with groupies flocking to my room. If anything I’m a love sick bastard.” He gently slipped the key card out of Liv’s hand and opened the door for her, swinging it open.

She turned to face him, cheeks suddenly reddening. She looked up into his eyes under long lashes, still wet from her teary eyes, and whispered. “I’m glad.”

Ville smiled down at her. He wasn’t sure what she had meant, he had an idea, but he didn’t want to let himself think that. He didn’t want to believe that there was any possibility that Liv might have feelings for him, at all, because if she did, than he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He was a love sick fool, use to falling hard, but he could let himself begin to fall for this, this girl.

Suddenly, unconsciously, Ville raised a hand and gently tucked a strand of black curl behind Liv’s ear, fingertips brushing her cheek. “I’m glad you made it to the hospital in time. I’m glad you are alright. I’m, I’m glad to have met you. Good night my dear. Welcome to the tour.” He turned around, kicking himself, he needed to avoid Liv. Ville slowly walked back to his room, 666, the depths of his personal hell, where he had already decided to mope the rest of the night.