You've Made Me Stronger

I waited for a noise, any noise that indicated that the police were here for me, but for a long while nothing came. I knew Jeremy would be down there for at least a few minutes, since it took at least that much time to toast the bread, and I wasn't too far from the cafe, which was only a five minute walk from Nick and I's house, so it shouldn't take long for the police to get here if they had the exact location. Just five or so minutes with their lights on, I presumed.
The silence I was in as I strained my ears was broken by the sounds of Jeremy's footsteps as he thundered up the stairs. I went stock still as I realized what was going on. Jeremy must have seen the cop cars pull up and was now coming to get me. What he was planning to do with me I could guess, and I was terrified of being held hostage between Jeremy and the police with their guns.
"Ava!" His voice rumbled as he reached the landing at the top of the steps. When his shadow appeared on the wall outside of the bedroom door, I suddenly pulled myself out of my paralyzed state of fear to act on an escape from being a hostage. I jumped up and grabbed Elvis by the collar to lead him into the bathroom with me. I knew if I locked myself in the bathroom and left him, Jeremy would use the threat of hurting him to get me out and take me hostage. He would be desperate, and I wouldn't underestimate him. Elvis and I got to the bathroom door just as Jeremy got to the bedroom doorway. I pushed Elvis into the bathroom before running in behind him, but when I turned to shut the door behind us, I saw Jeremy springing across the room towards me. Before I could get the door more than half way shut, he slammed his body weight into it, causing it to slam back into me and send me flying across the room and onto the bathroom floor.
"Oh, no you don't." He snatched my arm and pulled me up before tossing me onto the bedroom floor and quickly shutting the bathroom door on a snarling Elvis, who was just beginning to run at Jeremy to attack him.
Jeremy got down on top of me to begin to wrestle me up onto my feet. He wasn't exactly restricting me, only grasping my hair on the right side of my head and my left forearm to get me up onto my feet, for he hadn't seen the knife in my hand, and I decided I had to use it. I freed my right arm from my side and pushed the side of the blade against his throat. He stilled.
"Get off of me," I whispered fiercely as I pushed the sharp blade into his skin in warning, causing a little bit of blood to trickle from under the blade.
"You're the one who called the police?" But it was more of a stating of a fact than a question. I nodded my head.
"I couldn't let you get away with this. Now, get. off. of. me," I growled. He smirked at me as he released my hair and arm before beginning to back off, and I followed, keeping the blade to his throat. The smirk hadn't left his face once we were up, and after a moment, I found out why. I felt something cold and hard push against my bare skin on my right side, something I hadn't seen and so must have been being held in the waste band in the front of his pajama pants.
"Let's see if you could slit my throat before I could pull the trigger of this gun." His eyes danced dangerously as he spoke in a low, threatening whisper. I gasped.
"You wouldn't," I tried, but his smirk slowly turned into a full, smug smile.
"You would be stupid enough to doubt a desperate man?"

No, I wouldn't. I slowly took the knife away from his throat, and as soon as I did, I heard the front door bust open, at which point Jeremy quickly grabbed the knife from my hand and tossed it to the floor before bringing the gun up to point it at my face. He kept it pointed that way as he ran over and grabbed the shirt of his that I was supposed to wear to bed before he had raped me and tossed it at me.
"Put it on. I should be the only one to see you naked." I began to search for the bottom of the shirt to pull it up over my head as Jeremy walked back over to me, the gun still pointed, but I was nervous and kept fumbling with it.
"Hurry the fuck up!" He hollered, for we could hear the cops in the house, searching the downstairs. I quickened my pace to the best of my ability and got the shirt up and over my head in a matter of seconds. Once I was done, Jeremy grabbed my arm before turning me around, pulling my back to his front, and holding the gun up to my head in preparation for the cops' arrival. I heard the police yelling my name, asking for my location in the house before I heard one yell "clear!" and then the footsteps of at least three men coming up the steps. I listened as they opened and shut the other doors of the other rooms on our floor, still yelling my name, and after the search of each room, another "clear" was yelled. I just wanted this over and done with, and I knew Jeremy wouldn't get away with this, so I took a deep breath and hollered; "we're in here!"
Jeremy pushed the gun hard against the side of my head in a warning, forcing me to have to tilt my head farther to the side.
"Let them take their time," he whispered in a scolding voice before easing up on the pressure of the gun against my head. Soon I could see their shadows on the wall outside the open bedroom door, and they slowly appeared outside the bedroom. They all had their guns drawn, and when they saw the scene of Jeremy behind me, his gun to my head as tears streamed down my face and a smug smirk quirked up the edges of Jeremy's lips, even though I knew he was most likely panicking inside, they all tensed up and fixed their aim on Jeremy's head, which was right beside mine.
"Jeremy, son... You don't want to do this," the officer in the front spoke in a low, calm voice. Jeremy laughed.
"You're right, officer, I don't. I really don't want to hurt her, but I will if you don't let us go," he replied. The officer furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"Us? Son, I don't think Ava here wants to go with you. You scared her, that's why she called us."
"You're wrong!" Jeremy yelled. "She loves me, she just doesn't want to let go of her little boy bander." His voice came out spiteful at the mention of Nick and yet so sure of the fact that I really did love him, though I didn't think he could truly believe that. I told him too many times I didn't ever love him, and that I was sorry about it, but it wouldn't change, especially after he kidnapped me, taking me away from the father of my children and the only man I'd ever loved, pushed a knife into me... I told him I would resent him for it and could never love him because of it. That I couldn't love someone who was possible of all of that cruelty.
"Son," the officer kept his voice low and calm,"You're holding a gun to her head, and you said that you are going to kill her if we take you to jail. You're not acting like a very good man for her," he said, his words coming out in a slow, careful manner.
Jeremy seemed to think about this. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder at him, my eyebrows raised to silently let him know that the officer was right. Jeremy looked at me with pained eyes.
"Jeremy, please... If you kill me..." I trailed off and stared at him with pleading eyes and an equally pleading, pained expression.
"I don't want to kill you, baby," Jeremy whispered, and tears welled up in his eyes as he thought about what it would mean if he pulled that trigger. I leaned my face closer to his to brush my nose gently against his before placing a soft, lingering kiss on his lips, making sure to close my eyes to make it seem sincere. In a way, it was sincere, for I did feel something for him in this moment, but it went no further than pity, and the kiss was still only a tactic to convince him to let me go. When I opened my eyes again, Jeremy's were still closed.
"Then don't," I whispered in reference to his earlier statement about not wanting to kill me. Jeremy opened his eyes after a moment, and they were even more pained.
"But I can't go to jail. I can't rot in there for the rest of my life," he stated, and the officer must have caught it.

"Son, if you let her go and come with us quietly, you will have a much shorter sentence than if you killed her and got caught, or we let you go and you took her with you and got caught later on and were charged with fleeing the police, two counts of kidnapping and a count of attempted murder," the officer stated. Jeremy looked at the cop with a contemplative look on his face. The officer continued.
"If you give yourself up now, I will not charge you with the attempted murder, as long as Ava does not press charges for it either."
Jeremy looked back at me in silent questioning. I smiled and shook my head.
"Of course I wouldn't hold this against you, Jeremy. If I could, I would even forget about the kidnapping if you let me go, but it's not up to me now. It's too late for that. I'm sorry," I whispered. He nodded his head as he continued to think about it. After a minute, he turned his attention back to the officer.
"How long would I be in jail for without the attempted murder?" He asked quietly.
"Well, I'll have to charge you with kidnap and resisting arrest, and of course the sentence varies with different judges and juries, but it's usually about 10-12 years," the officer informed him. Jeremy sighed as he thought over his options, what I guessed as the chances of being caught if they let us escape... Having to kill me if they didn't. He looked over to me, then back at the cops with their guns still raised, then back at me a couple times before closing his eyes, sighing, and opening them again before taking the gun away from my head. He kept his eyes on my face as he did so.
"Now drop the weapon and kick it over to me," the officer carefully demanded. Jeremy did as the officer asked, and once the officer picked up the gun and handed it to one of the other officers behind him, he holstered his own gun and began to stride over to us, the officers behind him with gun still drawn and pointed at Jeremy. I turned away from Jeremy and held my hands up in front of me as I took one step towards the officer.
"Just one moment, please. Before you cuff him, can I have just one moment?" I asked. The officer hesitated for a moment but then gave a slow nod of his head.
"Go ahead," he replied in a soft voice. I gave him a nod in thanks before turning back to Jeremy, who was remaining where he was standing, with slumped shoulders and intent eyes on me. I have him a sympathetic smile before stepping into him with open arms. I wrapped them around his neck and hugged him for a moment before pulling my head back and giving him another small, sympathetic smile.
"Thank you, Jeremy. I'm so sorry all of this had to happen, but I'm also proud of you. You made the right decision," I stated softly. He nodded his head.
"It all came down to not wanting to hurt you, not ever again. Physically or mentally. You didn't deserve a life on the run with someone who you resented. I couldn't have done that to you," he whispered. Tears swelled in my eyes as I listened to what he said. Here I thought he just wanted to get a reduced sentence, or play it safe and not take the chance of making them let us go and then get caught and rot and possibly die in jail. But here he just made the truly right decision; the selfless one. I hugged him tightly again and kissed the spot in front of his ear.
"Thank you," I whispered into his ear. "Thank you so much, Jeremy."
He hugged me back gently, making sure not to hurt me, this small act of gentleness letting me know that he had meant what he said. The officer touched my shoulder from behind.
"It's time," he said to the both of us. Jeremy nodded his head before letting go of me and giving my hips a small push, silently urging me to let him go. The fact that he had to urge me to let him go let him know that I truly appreciated what he was doing for me, and that I truly felt sorry for everything. My inability to love him from day one, my having to leave him because of it, the fact that he loved me so much that he went so crazy and hired a guy to toss me around but did much more than that, that he found me and kidnapped me, hurt me, caused me to call the police and had to put him in this predicament, even if he brought this on himself. But now the old Jeremy, the Jeremy I knew was back. The craziness that was inside of him was gone, and the caring in him from before was fully back, and it made me sad that it was the old Jeremy that was going to prison. That he couldn't have stayed the old Jeremy all along and avoided all of what happened in the first place.
I stepped away from Jeremy and the police officer stepped behind Jeremy. He pulled Jeremy's arms behind his back before pulling cuffs from his belt and cuffing Jeremy's wrists with a series of clicks. I watched as this happened, Jeremy's head hung low as the officer cuffed each wrist. Once the officer was ready to lead Jeremy out of the room, another cop from behind me placed his hand on my upper arm.
"Step over here, miss," he said before he placed his other hand on my lower back and lead me over to near the wall on the left side of the room and out of the way. I watched from there as the officer lead Jeremy across the room and past the two other officers in the hallway who then followed who I was guessing to be their superior as he continued to lead Jeremy down the hall. As soon as they all disappeared down the hall and steps, the officer held his arm out in front of me and towards the doorway in a gesture for me to walk that way. I walked towards the door, the cop escorting me with his hand on my back, before walking out into the hallway. I continued to descend down the steps and into the living room to see that the other officers were now outside, putting Jeremy into a cop car with it's lights flashing. There were five more like that, as well as two ambulances and a bunch of people, all standing on the sidewalk on the other side of the road, being kept away from the whole scene by three other officers, all of them straining to witness whatever was going on. As soon as I made it out the front door, I heard my name being shouted. I looked up to see Nick, who was previously standing and talking to one of the officers that was in the house while everything went down, running towards me. The officer who was escorting me stepped aside as Nick reached me and pulled me into his arms. He kissed me hard for a moment, his eyes squeezed shut, causing a tear to fall out each of his eyes, and his breathing fast. He pulled away after a moment and held me at arms length as he studied my face, my arms, my legs, everything he could see before looking back into my eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked desperately. I gave a small but reassuring smile and nodded my head. He put his hand on my stomach and stared into my eyes with silent inquiry and I widened my smile at the remembrance that they started being able to kick and nodded my head again. I would tell him about the kicking another time
"We're all okay," I whispered. He let out a relieved breath before pulling me back into him, wrapping his arms around my waist and squeezing hard. I gasped, as his right arm was over my wound when he squeezed, and whimpered in pain. Nick gasped in surprise and worry before going to pull away, but I tightened my hold on him.
"No, please. Don't let go," I begged. He was hesitant at first, but after a moment he moved his arms up and away from the area that they were when he hurt me and pulled me close to him again.
"Is this okay?" He asked, making sure he wasn't hurting me anymore. I nodded my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and held me tight against his body. His arms were so comforting, his smell so familiar, that I went close to limp in his arms, but Nick's strong hands and arms kept me upright and steady.
"God, Nick, I'm so happy you found me," I whispered. He placed another kiss on my head before burying his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply.
"Me too, baby. Jesus, I'm so glad you're okay," he replied. "All of you."

We stayed like that for a while before being interrupted by someone behind us.
"Miss. Alina?" They asked. Nick and I pulled away from each other, and Nick turned around to face the officer that had made the arrest who was standing behind him. I nodded my head and Nick pulled me into his side as the officer put a tablet and pencil that he had been holding back into his shirt pocket before looking back up to me.
"You were very brave to risk calling Nick and us. And you were very smart in there. I truly believe you're actions are what saved you and made him give himself up," he states through a smile. I simply nodded my head.
"Thanks," I whispered before looking over at Nick, who was smiling proudly down at me. Apparently the officer he was talking to already told him what had happened in the house. Hopefully he didn't go into too much detail, because I wanted to explain the kiss and hugs to him myself. No one else would know the full backstory and reasoning behind my actions but Jeremy and I, and I wanted to explain it all to Nick myself.
"Are you okay?" The officer asked me. I shrugged my shoulders.
"As okay as I can be, I suppose," I replied. The officer cleared his throat.
"So he didn't... Hurt you, in any way?" The officer asked. I lowered my gaze to the ground before stepping away from Nick since my left side, the side with the wound, was against him.
"Just this," I whispered before pulling up the t-shirt to reveal the big patch on my skin. The officer and Nick both looked at the patch. The officer stared a moment too long at the revealed skin of my hip and buttocks before pulling his eyes away and clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Alright, well, why don't you go get looked at, and you can come in for questioning tomorrow. I know you must not be feeling up to it tonight," he spoke sympathetically.
"Thanks," I whispered as I dropped my shirt. "I appreciate that."
"No problem. Officer Jones here will take you over to the ambulance to get checked out. I just wanted to let you know how well you acted in there. You really were a big help. Very brave," he stated before giving me a small salute as a goodbye and turning around to walk back to a couple of the other officers.
Officer Jones gestured to one of the other ambulances and lead us over there. As we walked, I looked at the crowd of people and was relieved to find that there were not any paparazzi. Not yet, anyway, but I'm sure word that this had involved Nick and I was surely spreading by mouth of at least a few of the onlookers. Nick seemed to have fans everywhere, or at least people who read gossip magazines and such.
"So what happened there?" Nick asked me, gesturing to my left side. I looked up to him then down to the spot where my wound was underneath my shirt, then back up to Nick again.
"It's nothing big. Just a... Uh, a cut," I half lied. Nick grabbed my wrist and stopped me in my tracks before turning to face me.
"Please don't lie to me. Don't play things down so I don't worry about you. I told you over and over again, you have me now. You're not alone anymore. You have me to worry about you, to care whether you're hurt or if you really are just fine. But I need to know if you're really hurt, whether inside or out, so I can make it right. I love you, Ava. I will always take care of you," he whispered the last part sincerely and insistently before pulling me into his arms and kissing first my forehead, then my lips. I smiled into the kiss and nodded my head in understanding.
"Okay, I promise, from now on, I'll try my best," I promised, and I meant it, but I couldn't promise I would do it, because it was habit. But I would definitely try to remember his insistent words. Nick squeezed my hand in contentment as we began to continue to walk to the ambulance.

I sat on the back of the ambulance with Nick, a blanket on my shoulders as the EMT put on a pair of blue rubber gloves in preparation to examine me. Nick rubbed my back as we waited.
"So, Miss. Alina, is there anywhere that you may have any injuries?" The female EMT asked as she gestured for me to look at her little light as she shined it in my eyes, then to follow her finger as she continued to examine my eyes.
"Her side," Nick replied for me. "She has a wound on her side."
The EMT clicked her light off and put it back in her shirt pocket as she nodded her head. "Okay, what kind of wound is it?" She continued to question as she helped me remove the blanket from my shoulders so I could lift up my shirt to show her the wound.
"It's a... Well, a stab wound," I whispered, afraid of Nick's reaction. Nick looked at me with wide eyes, but surprisingly didn't say say anything. He just watched as the EMT removed the patch and gauze from the wound. I screwed my eyes shut in pain as it peeled off my wound, but opened them quickly again when I heard Nick's gasp. I looked at the EMT to see blood on the gauze and patch as she held it in her hand and examined my wound.
"Oh, dear. This is going to have to be stitched again," she informed me. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the wound to see that, indeed, the stitches had torn. I was wondering why it was hurting more than usual after being knocked and thrown to the ground, but I didn't feel them tear. It must have been because of all the adrenaline coursing through my body at the time that I didn't feel the pain.
"Can you tell me exactly what happened that may have caused them to tear and perhaps cause any other wounds?" She asked. I twiddled my fingers as I thought.
"Well," I began, "Right before I was taken hostage, I tried to escape into the bathroom, and-" Suddenly, I remembered. "Elvis!"
They both looked at me with confused expressions. I turned to Nick.
"Elvis is still in the house. In the master bedroom's bathroom," I told him. He nodded his head in understanding.
"Okay, I'll go let an officer know and go up with them to get him," he smiled before placing a kiss on my temple and leaving.

After being fully examined for any more wounds, which only included a few bruises on my right hip and thigh and back left shoulder blade, I was stitched up and given a referral to a doctor for as soon as possible to get looked at because of Jeremy's not using protection when he raped me and being told to go to my gynecologist to make sure everything was okay with the babies after being knocked by the door and such, I was told it was okay to go home for the time being to rest up. In the meantime Nick had called Joe to pick us up, since Nick came in with one of the officers and we had Elvis, and he was here in a matter of ten minutes.

On the ride home I contemplated when and how I was going to tell Nick about all the things Jeremy did to me, including his raping me and knocking me down, throwing me to the ground and what happened when he stabbed me, since Nick was off getting Elvis and calling Joe when I told the EMT.
When we got home, I returned hugs and kisses from Joe and Kevin and assured them I was okay before following Nick up into our bedroom. I knew I was in for a good deal of Nick's fussing over me, as well as his brothers, for all of them were over protective, though Nick was definitely the most so out of all of them. I let him strip Jeremy's shirt off of me, not even bothering to fight the inevitability of his treated me like a wounded puppy, and watched as he glared at the fabric as he gripped it almost to the point of having white knuckles in his hands before throwing it at the wall behind me.
"I'm burning that thing tomorrow," he mumbled as he took my hand and lead me into our bathroom. He sat me down on the edge of the bath tub and went about changing my gauze. While he kneeled down and took off the patch and gauze the EMT put on, I smiled down at the over protective man in my life and ran my fingers through his shorter, soft curls of hair. My Nick, the love of my life, the father of my unborn children. I loved him so much.
"My hero," I whispered down to him through a smile as he taped down the patch. He smiled up to me and took my hand from his hair to place a gentle yet very loving kiss on my palm. But he seemed to have a lot on his mind that was bothering him. I could guess what it was to an extent.
"I love you, Ava. Please don't do this to me again. I've died a million times since that first phone call. I can't take it," he whispered in a pained voice. I closed my eyes for a moment, the action loosening a tear from my tear duct, and took a deep breath before opening them again. When I looked down at Nick, the intensity in his eyes was equal to the emotions I was feeling inside.
"I hated the thought of never seeing you again. You have no idea the things he was threatening to keep me around. I truly thought for a while that he would find a way to keep me with him, away from you... Raising our babies," I choked out as I tried to hold back a sob. Nick rose from his knees and took my face in his hands. He used his thumb to wipe away the single tear that had fallen as he stared deep into my eyes.
"I would never have let that happen," he whispered. My frown deepened.
"You may not have known anything was wrong if I hadn't of gotten him to let me call you that first time, or got so lucky as to get my phone for that amount of time to call you a second time." I searched his eyes as he stared at me, and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he thought of Jeremy and what he did. Or at least what he knew about him doing so far. It was time to divulge all information. He deserved to know now. Not later, now.
"The stab wound, it's from when he took me from the cafe. He held a knife to my side as he walked me out and told me to put a show on for the cameras of the paparazzi that surrounded us. He kissed me before he put me in the car, but I tried to push him off of me, so he pushed the blade into my side so I would stop and gasp, allowing him to get his tongue into my mouth."
Nick's eyes were now on fire with anger and flicking from this point to that on my face. His breathing was harsh, his nostrils flared. I reached up and ran my fingers down the side of his face and across his lower lip.
"Calm down, Nick," I whispered, not wanting him to get so worked up about something that is done, dealt with. But he wasn't hearing it. He reached up and stopped my fingers from their stroking and looked me directly in the eye once more.
"I couldn't if I wanted to. He fucking touched you, pushed a knife maybe two inches back from your womb where our babies sleep. Even at that place on your body, if he would have pushed that knife in 1 inch deeper, he may have harmed one of the babies. And they're in there... And they're so tiny right now..." His voice trailed off as a bleakness took over his face. I shook my head and grabbed his hand before pulling it down and placing it on my belly.
"They're okay though, Nick. Keep your hand there, I want you to feel something," I stated softly. He furrowed his eyebrows before looking down at his hand on my stomach. I ran my hand down his arm and up his hand then back again as we waited for movement. It took less than a minute for a little kick to come, and I knew that they knew their Daddy was there.
Nick's eyes widened in surprise and a smile came across his face, but it was fleeting.
"I missed the first kicks? It happened while you were with him?" He asked me. I frowned and nodded my head reluctantly.
"Yes, but it was while I was talking about you. They know you, they love you. They haven't kicked all night, but as soon as you put your hand there..." I smiled, not having to continue for him to get the message. This brought the smile back to his face. He put his other hand on my stomach and leaned in close.
"Hey in there, my little babies. Can you hear me?"
Just then, another little kick came. You could hardly feel the kicks, since the babies were still pretty small, but it was still shocking every time it happened. Feeling life moving around inside of you... It's amazing.
Nick looked up at me with a beaming smile.
"They do love me," he whispered. I ran my fingers through his hair and nodded, my own smile slowly taking over my features. He gave an airy laugh of joy before looking back down to my belly.
"I love you, too, little babies. Daddy loves you so much, and I'll never let anything happen to you or your mommy ever again."