Hiding Place

It figured that the rare Saturday that Marcus had completely off from baseball was also the day that Danielle wanted to go to an Earthquakes game with me and a couple of girls from school. As much as she didn’t want to, she understood when I had to turn her down to spend the day with my big bro. I didn’t get to see my brother all that often – with his baseball career and my schedule that included soccer and classes – it was difficult for things to line up for us to spend some quality time together.

That’s partly why every year after final exams; I came down to San Jose to spend time with him whether his team was home or away. The last two years now I’ve been kind of unlucky and the team has been mostly on the road, but that’s okay. It meant that I got to spend time with Amelia and it meant that Danielle started to come down here with me too.

Somehow, every year Marcus and I managed to get one full day where it was just the two of us and we always did the same thing. Amelia thought it was adorable how close Marcus and I are and encouraged us every year to try to do something new but we never did. It was always the same thing – late lunch, hanging out at the beach and watching baseball.

Once I started my varsity sports career at San Francisco State, my brother instituted a celebratory slice of mocha cheesecake at what’s become our place in San Jose. For three years in a row now we’ve gone there for lunch – his treat of course – and caught up on our lives. It’s not like Marcus and I don’t talk when we don’t see each other, that couldn’t be further from the case. Of all my friends on the team, none of them are as close to their siblings as I am to Marcus.

Mom tells us we’re close because dad corrupted us – she means that in the nicest way, she says that every time when she tells the story of what her kids love to do – at a young age to love the game that he loves. Baseball has always been a staple in our house, everyone watches it and everyone has their favourites. Mom mostly follows dad’s lead and is a fan of whomever he likes. She knows the game but not as well as the rest of the family.

Neither Marcus nor I followed in our father’s footsteps and became fans of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Nope, both of us are Giants fans. It probably didn’t help dad that we grew up in San Mateo, which is a lot closer to San Francisco than it is Anaheim. Dad grew up in SoCal and ended up moving up here with mom after they got married because he’s a computer engineer.

In fact, Marcus was drafted by the Giants coming out of his senior year of college at USC. Granted right now, he’s playing advanced A ball and hopefully he’ll make his way up the ranks but it’s still pretty cool to say that your brother was drafted by your favourite team.

After lunch, we headed down to the beach to play some ball. I had a soccer ball and he had two gloves and a baseball. We always kicked a ball around for a bit then finished off with baseball. When your brother is a catcher for a living, it’s pretty much impossible to practice your over-exaggerated pitching with him without hearing some complaints. So we usually just toss the ball around for an hour or so enjoying the sun and conversation about the game.

Except today was different. Instead of talking about who was going to win each division pennant and predicting the World Series champions, Marcus decided to switch it up and give me a lecture about guys. At least I thought it was a lecture. He claimed it was simply a conversation about guys that may be interested in me. But really, let’s face the facts here; there haven’t been any prospects in that department for a long time now.

I think he began to sense my discomfort with the topic so he switched it once again. This time it was about how the hockey game was yesterday. And honestly? I had never been so thankful we were outside playing catch. I was ninety-five percent certain that my cheeks darkened to a pink colour that could not be accounted for by the sun. There was no way I could tell Marcus about the hand holding and I-don’t-know-what-it-was thing that I did with Logan after the game. I mean how could I discuss something when I don’t even know what it was?

My response was vague and something I hoped he would expect from me. The game was okay, it’s better to watch hockey live than on tv and I don’t know if I’ll ever watch another game. I had to keep myself from smiling at the thought of the game. It slightly frightened me that all it might take is one person to corrupt your thinking about an entire sport.

After throwing the ball around – and kicking it around where I totally schooled my brother but he would never admit to it – we decided to head back to his place and do one of my favourite things to do with my big brother. We always ended our day together by watching the MLB network and all the games that were happening that night or had already happened.

---

“So, what’s his name?” Marcus asked as he flopped down on the couch beside me and tossed me a bottle of iced tea. The Boston Red Sox and Toronto Blue Jays were up first for the lineup of games tonight. It made me think of both the arguments I recently got into about the Jays.

My eyes widened. “What’s whose name? The pitcher? Come on Marcus it’s the Boston Red Sox. You’re better than that and you should know that it’s Ryan Dempster.”

He gave me a light shove, “I know that’s Ryan Dempster. That’s not who I was talking about and you know it. You got all weird when you were telling me about the hockey game last night.” I tore my eyes off my brother as he spoke and focused quite intently on opening the bottle of my iced tea so he wouldn’t have to see the look on my face that I was sure would give me away. I hated that my brother could read me like a book. “Something happened, didn’t it Em?”

Subtly I sucked in a deep breath and put the most annoyed look I could muster on my face. “I did not get weird at the beach. You’re seeing things obviously. It’s clear that you’re getting old Marcus. You should probably get your eyes checked.” Even though Marcus was only four years older than me, I could easily bug him about his age.

He nodded still staring me down as he opened up his own iced tea. “Then why did you two get home so late? And didn’t you get home before Danielle did? I thought hockey games were only like two and a half hours.” He took a long sip before continuing, “And you got home at… Twelve-thirty last night.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Since when did you start keeping tabs on when I get home like mom did?”

“I wasn’t keeping tabs on you Emma. I was just concerned that’s all.”

“Right,” I nodded. “Now you decide to be the protective big brother.”

Marcus sat up straighter. “Well, you know, hockey players have reputations. I have every reason to be concerned.”

“Says the baseball player who didn’t settle down and have only one girlfriend until he met the one he’s probably going to marry,” I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out. That certainly proved my maturity about this subject.

He raised his eyebrows at me. “We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.”

I shook my head; “You’re becoming more like dad every day.”

“Come on Em, you and me used to be able to talk about these sorts of things. What changed? Don’t you trust me?” There was a hint of genuine concern in his voice like by some freakish chance we were drifting apart.

“I trust you, it’s just weird to talk about.” My eyes widened. That just admitted that there was someone. Shit shit shit.

His lips curled into a triumphant smile. “I knew there was someone.”

“Nope,” I shook my head vigorously. “There is no one. I’m still single as ever.”

Marcus laughed. “I didn’t say anything about you not being single. I’m saying there’s someone you might be interested in but you’re not sure?”

I absolutely hated and loved how well Marcus could read me. It really helped when we were growing up because there were times when I would be upset about something and my parents wouldn’t know but Marcus could just tell by looking at me. But right now? I hated it. It was not how I wanted our day together to end off. I didn’t want to be annoyed at my brother but he was definitely heading down that path.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

As immature as it may be, I was not going to respond to that. Was he suggesting that I might be interested in Logan? There’s no way I was. Sure I let the guy hold my hand when we walked to the little café that’s on the way back to Marcus’ from the arena and I let him walk me home. But what happened before that? When he was showing me how things would be different… I couldn’t exactly say no to him walking me home.

Before I could think of a response and before Marcus could continue to press the issue, my phone dinged out the tone that let me know I received a new text message. I jumped off the couch and retrieved my phone from my bag.

Is this Emma? I looked at my phone curiously. I didn’t give my number to anyone recently. No one asked for it. Maybe someone got a new phone and remembered my number somehow?

I quickly typed a reply, Yes. Who’s this?

She didn’t tell you? Who the hell was she? Then it clicked – it was Danielle – she gave my number to someone who may have passed it on to someone else. I had to ask her before I accused her of these things.

After opening up a new message, I let out a sigh my fingers hovered over the keys. Hey hope you’re having fun at dinner with the girls before the game. Did you give my number to someone last night?

I sucked in a deep breath and held it slightly. Marcus looked over at me and asked, “Are you okay?”

I nodded, “I’m good. Danielle is just texting me from dinner telling me that the girls miss me.” It was a blatant lie if I’ve ever told one but it had to be done. I couldn’t tell Marcus who I thought was texting me.

Is it a bad thing if I did? He told TJ that he forgot to ask you last night and TJ asked me. I didn’t think it was a big deal… I’m sorry; I should have asked you… There was no way I could be mad at her. She was just doing someone a favour, but it would have been better if he actually asked me himself rather than getting it through a teammate who got it from my best friend.

Don’t worry about it. Have fun tonight!

My focus shifted. It’s okay, she told me the whole situation.

Oh. So you know who this is?

Yes Logan, I know it’s you.

His response was quick. How’s it going?

“You’re not texting Danielle anymore. Who is it?” Marcus had his arms folded across his chest and he was staring at me.

I sighed. “Shouldn’t you be watching the game and not creeping your sister?”

“I knew it!” He exclaimed with a smirk on his face. “You’re texting a guy. Who is it? Do I know him?”

There was no point in lying anymore. At least Marcus didn’t know Logan that was my one saving grace right now. I didn’t need my brother’s commentary about this whole situation. “No, you don’t know him. So can you please drop it? Let’s just watch the game and if I happen to text every so often, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you text Amelia? I’m sure she would love that.”

Marcus dug his phone out of his shorts pocket. “Fine. I will text Amelia, even though she knows that I’m hanging out with you today and we’re supposed to be watching baseball right now not texting boys.”

“Marcus, I’m twenty-one. They aren’t boys anymore, okay? I’ll be fine. You’ve taught me well when it comes to guys and I have a pretty awesome big brother if something were to go wrong.” Flattery was one way for me to get my way. It usually always worked on Marcus and I could tell from the way his lips were straightening out from his frown and curling into a slight smile that it was.

Silence fell over the room as both of us were on our phones texting. Pretty good, watching baseball with my bro. What about you? Also why did you have to get my number from your teammate?

Danielle told you that? She wasn’t supposed to. I guess I was distracted last night… You know? I’m good too. What game are you watching?

What did that mean that he was distracted? By what? It’s not like anything happened last night. We went to the little café, I got an herbal tea and he got a hot chocolate. We talked for a couple of hours and then he walked me home. Nothing significant happened so I have no idea as to what distracted him.

Jays and Sox. You were distracted? By what?

Why are you watching my team? Change your mind on the Jays? Seriously you’re asking me that?

Did I miss something? Did some huge distracting event happen last night and I didn’t remember it? Bro’s choice. Never will change my mind about them, don’t worry. And yeah… Did I miss something?

The parking lot?

Oh. That. Right. Something could have happened, but nothing did. It all got stopped before anything could happen between us, which is probably for the better. I didn’t really know Logan and he didn’t really know me. Yes, I know that it doesn’t matter if you don’t really know the other person for things to happen – sometimes things just happen without a reason – but if things were to happen between us, I would like to know him a little better.

God I can’t believe I just thought that. Things aren’t going to happen between us, I’m sure of it. Yeah, I know. But nothing happened?

Something was going to happen Emma, especially if my teammates didn’t come outside when they did…

Someone is confident. I wanted to text that back to him but I knew that he was right. If they didn’t come out into the parking lot at that exact moment, Logan and I probably would have been doing something in the parking lot. I was certain his next move was to tilt my chin up closer to his but it never happened. We’ll never know what his next move was going to be at that moment.

But nothing did happen…

I wanted something to happen. And you expected me to focus after that almost happened?

That’s all it took to get his focus off? I wondered if any of his opponents knew that. But really, that flattered me. Flattered that he wanted something to happen between us but I wasn’t sure if I wanted something to happen.

No, but nothing happened. If you wanted my number you should have just asked me. I would have given it to you.

Apparently I was alright with giving Logan my number. I guess I wanted to keep talking to him and maybe even see him again. I didn’t think that I felt that way, but I guess I wanted to. I suppose that’s what happens when you have a fun, unexpected evening with someone – especially after an almost something.

Believe me, I was going to. But then I kept thinking about what almost happened and before I knew it, I had already walked you home and the door was shut.

Before I could reply, I got another message.

I want that to happen at some point, hopefully soon.

My eyes widened. Soon? How soon was soon? I was only in San Jose for another week and a bit then I was going to be back in San Francisco. And if his playoff series didn’t go well, I had no idea where he calls home. Athletes never stayed in the city they played in, they all went home. Except for college athletes, we seemed to be the exception.

I needed something to say back. I definitely could not leave him hanging with something like that.

Oh really? I’m going back to San Francisco in just over a week…

You’re not from San Jose?

My head shook. No, I’m from San Mateo. I go to college in San Francisco. I’m pretty sure we talked about this last night. Where are you from? And don’t just say Canada. My lips curled into a smirk at my last comment. I completed expected him to say Canada as a response.

You’re right, we did. I’m from London Ontario. What are you up to tomorrow?

Ontario was far away. Not sure why I thought that but I did. Probably hanging out with Danielle. What did you have in mind? This was something I was not expecting at all – to be asked to hang out by Logan tomorrow.

I’ll figure something out. Maybe I can get Gally to come along so you’re not abandoning Danielle again like tonight.

Okay, text me tomorrow?

Definitely. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Well that was unexpected. Didn’t think I would be spending more time with Logan Couture, but I guess that was happening now. Looks like it was inevitable that at some point Marcus was going to hear about the mystery guy I had been texting during our time together. Now it was time to focus on the ball game.