Be My Escape

Kellin's POV
When I saw that the person I had run into was Vic, I froze. I had absolutely no clue. People had started to look, I guess I had made a scene. The huge freak who had just tried to kill himself had run into the somewhat- popular mexican. People had started to whisper, but honestly it hadn't really bothered me anymore. What had I done wrong? Why didn't Vic want me anymore? I felt like the surrounding lockers in the hallway were closing in on me. Oh no- I was having an anxiety attack. I was starting to sweat and I got really light-headed. I felt sick to my stomach, and my heart was racing. When I started to hyperventilate, Alex got to my side. He helped me up and wrapped his arm around my waist to support me.
“It’s going to be alright.” He murmured in my ear repeatedly until we got to his car. He had set me down in his backseat, which was actually clean for once. He came around the other side and sat next to me. He ran his fingers up and down my arm soothingly, trying to calm me down. In the process, I had relaxed only a little. I just didn’t, couldn’t, understand. Why? This is why I hated being attached to people. All it does it fuck with your head, and in the end it’s never as good as everyone makes it out to be. The tears I had been holding back fell, and I didn’t even care anymore. I felt bad that Alex had to deal with all my bullshit, but I couldn’t help it.
He leaned over and pulled me into his arms. He ran his fingers through my hair, and I just buried my head into his shoulder, crying my eyes out. When I finally pulled away from him, Jack had appeared. I wasn’t even really sure when. I didn’t even know how long we had been there. I would kill to just feel less invisible. I wiped my eyes and looked at Alex. He frowned at me, and I felt worse than I did before. I was probably making him feel like crap. “I’m fine Lex.”
“That’s not true.” He replied. I hated how well he knew me.
“I know. I will be though. I just don’t understand, ya know? But oh well.” I answered him, shrugging. If I passed it off as nothing, I was hoping he’d just drop it.
“Do you want me to kick his ass?” Alex put on a jokingly tough face and pounded his fist into his palm. I shook my head and gave him a small smile.
“Ya know Al, I think that’s okay.”
“I just want you to be okay, Kellin. It hurts me so bad seeing you in pain, and there’s nothing I can do about it except sit here and tell you it’s going to be okay, but in reality it won’t. Because it’s life. Life really sucks balls sometimes, but it’s all a game. With obstacles, and prizes. You just gotta get past the obstacles no matter how tough it is. Because in time, you’ll always get past it. And I’ll be by your side the entire time.”
Alex amazed me so much. I had honestly been blessed with a best friend like him. I had no idea what I did to deserve him. And why he stuck by my side the whole time? I have no clue. I pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you, Alex. I love you so much.” I whispered.
“Love you too, Kell-bell. Now grow some balls, so we can go get some Taco Bell.” He replied to me with a wink. I rolled my eyes. He was ridiculous. Sometimes I couldn’t believe him. Being too serious for a long time got to him. I laughed and pushed his hair around so that it was sticking out in different directions.
“I need to grow some balls? I wasn’t the one saying all those cheesy things to my boyfriend this morning!”
As soon as the words left my mouth, both Alex and Jack’s face turned a dark crimson color. I laughed at the fact that they both knew exactly what I had been talking about. Knowing that I was feeling better, Alex moved to the driver’s seat. When Alex said we were going to go get some Taco Bell, he wasn’t kidding. I would never understand his and Jack’s obsession with it. When we got there, Alex had asked what I wanted but after today, I just felt sick to my stomach and I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. I couldn’t help replaying today over and over again in my head. I knew it was killing me to do it, but I couldn’t stop.
*****
Vic’s POV
After leaving school, I kept driving. I didn’t want to stop, I didn’t want to think. I just focused on the road. Kellin’s hurt face kept popping into my mind, and I couldn’t help but feel my heart break more and more. I didn’t mean to abandon him, I just panicked. I had never had feelings for a guy and the thought just freaked me out. I guess it didn’t matter now, because Kellin probably hated me more than anything right now. Trees whipped passed, and I wasn’t really sure what my destination was. I had just been trying to clear my head. I guess I should probably try to head back before anybody started to worry.
Kellin POV
When we got to Alex’s house, I excused myself from them. My excuse was that I needed to take a shower after a long day. Instead, I had grabbed my razors from my secret place under my mattress. I grabbed the plastic bag they were in and headed into the cream-colored upstairs bathroom. I turned on the shower that they wouldn’t come up here. I had missed the feeling of the cool metal on my skin. I had already took my skinny jeans off, and I went for my thighs. I ran the blade across my pale skin that had been covered in faded scars, and soon to be new ones. When I saw the blood, I had become satisfied. Usually whenever I did this, I had tears spilling down my face, but only a few had escaped. Grabbing toilet paper, I wiped away the excess blood, and found some band-aids in the cupboard. The last thing I needed was for it to get infected. I didn’t like who I had become. I wanted someone to take this broken heart and make it new. I hated feeling this way. Shivering, I pulled down the sleeves to my hoodie. I ran the blade across my wrist in a vertical line from the top of my wrist to about the middle of my forearm. This one had starting bleeding faster than the last one, and a lot more. While holding the tissue to my skin, I became disgusted.
I had gone such a long time without doing this to myself, resorting back to this. I had finally gotten over the feeling of wanted to go back to cutting. I was mostly disappointed in myself. What had I done? I guess after the whole thing that happened with Vic, I felt worthless. I only had myself to blame.
When finally everything was cleared up, and I was ready to leave the bathroom, my phone buzzed on the counter. The person calling, was not who I had expected- Vic. Should I even answer? Why should I? But the curious side got the best of me and picked up the phone.