Status: Updates on Sundays
Why Don't You Just Drop Dead?
Coffee's For Closers
“Andy! Pete!” I yelled for the other hunters. I found a girl staring into space. Weird, you think she’d notice her entire house being evacuated…
“What is it?” They raced to the room to find the odd girl staring back at them. Andy grabbed her arms while Pete took the legs. I chuckled to myself as they struggled to drag her out of the room. She was flailing, kicking, punching, screaming, and all around being a pain.
“A little help would be nice, Oliver!” Andy grunted when she managed to elbow him in the balls.
“Hey, it’s more fun if I just watch, but if you want to be like that, fine.” I bound her arms to the sides of her body and stopped her legs from moving. I love it when people first discover my telekinesis. The look of shock on their faces just makes my day, every time, without fail. It’s just because I’m awesome like that.
“Patrick, we found a girl. Human. Get Joe, let’s get out of here.” Pete yelled to the guy we all considered our leader. It wasn’t like he was the best hunter, or the strongest, but he was smart. Very smart.
I stared back at the flaming building. It looked beautiful in the sunset.
“So, what’s-your-face, how’s it going?” I turned to her. She was restrained just enough that she wouldn’t escape, but little enough that she could move around a bit in the back of our van.
“You kidnap me, burn down my house, then ask me how it’s going?” She said in a way I can only describe using the word flabbergasted.
“Yeah. I’ll ask again, since you obviously didn’t get it the first time. Hey, What’s-your-face, how’s it going?” I asked, dropping a couple of coins on her head for emphasis.
“My name’s Winona, and it’s not going good. I want to go home.” She grumbled. Her eyes got very wide for a couple of seconds and she snickered. We went over a speed bump and my head smashed against the wall. Goddammit…
“Looks like Winona is the seer the Dandies have been bragging about.” Pete sighed. “You realize how much trouble she’s going to cause for us, right?”
“Hey, she could be kind of useful. Not as awesome as me of course, but useful.” I snickered. Poor girl, couldn’t even levitate.
“Warehouse, sweet warehouse. Back again.” I sighed, dropping onto the couch with a snack and my laptop. I dragged little miss I-want-to-go-back-to-my-family-of-vampires over and sat her next to me.
“I don’t want to sit next to you.” She muttered, Inching away.
“Aww, come on. I’m not that bad. I’ll show you.” I said, I flicked on the coffee maker from across the room, got out some sugar and creamer, and made the girl a latte. “See? I’m awesome.” I said, putting the coffee on the table in front of her.
“I don’t like coffee.” She said. Is there no way to please her?
“What is it?” They raced to the room to find the odd girl staring back at them. Andy grabbed her arms while Pete took the legs. I chuckled to myself as they struggled to drag her out of the room. She was flailing, kicking, punching, screaming, and all around being a pain.
“A little help would be nice, Oliver!” Andy grunted when she managed to elbow him in the balls.
“Hey, it’s more fun if I just watch, but if you want to be like that, fine.” I bound her arms to the sides of her body and stopped her legs from moving. I love it when people first discover my telekinesis. The look of shock on their faces just makes my day, every time, without fail. It’s just because I’m awesome like that.
“Patrick, we found a girl. Human. Get Joe, let’s get out of here.” Pete yelled to the guy we all considered our leader. It wasn’t like he was the best hunter, or the strongest, but he was smart. Very smart.
I stared back at the flaming building. It looked beautiful in the sunset.
“So, what’s-your-face, how’s it going?” I turned to her. She was restrained just enough that she wouldn’t escape, but little enough that she could move around a bit in the back of our van.
“You kidnap me, burn down my house, then ask me how it’s going?” She said in a way I can only describe using the word flabbergasted.
“Yeah. I’ll ask again, since you obviously didn’t get it the first time. Hey, What’s-your-face, how’s it going?” I asked, dropping a couple of coins on her head for emphasis.
“My name’s Winona, and it’s not going good. I want to go home.” She grumbled. Her eyes got very wide for a couple of seconds and she snickered. We went over a speed bump and my head smashed against the wall. Goddammit…
“Looks like Winona is the seer the Dandies have been bragging about.” Pete sighed. “You realize how much trouble she’s going to cause for us, right?”
“Hey, she could be kind of useful. Not as awesome as me of course, but useful.” I snickered. Poor girl, couldn’t even levitate.
“Warehouse, sweet warehouse. Back again.” I sighed, dropping onto the couch with a snack and my laptop. I dragged little miss I-want-to-go-back-to-my-family-of-vampires over and sat her next to me.
“I don’t want to sit next to you.” She muttered, Inching away.
“Aww, come on. I’m not that bad. I’ll show you.” I said, I flicked on the coffee maker from across the room, got out some sugar and creamer, and made the girl a latte. “See? I’m awesome.” I said, putting the coffee on the table in front of her.
“I don’t like coffee.” She said. Is there no way to please her?