The Anthem for a Dying Breed

I reached down to lace up my shoes one by one, then sat up and decided against reassessing my reflection in the mirror. Ray, Danny, Ben and Adam had decided to check out a band Ray and I had fallen in love with on my insistence; it gave me the chance to pani in private about the proposal Tony had made yesterday to hang out.

Vic had given him my number so he could text me when and where to meet. So far, the when was in ten minutes and the where was at my bus. Where our little adventure would lead us exactly was unclear to me, but at the moment, I was too stressed to think about anything other than whether Ben had been winding me up or not.

My phone buzzed and I checked it immediately out of nervousness: Ready to go? T x
I replied with: Yep. Where you?
There was an almost instantaneous knock at the door after I pressed send. I went over to answer it and saw his pretty little face through the window. Opening it to let him in, I observed his slightly breathless smile.

“Have you been running or something?” I asked, leading him to the sofa. He nodded and grinned wider.

“Fanfirsl.” he eventually managed, cheeks pinkish. I chuckled and handed him a can of Monster form the fridge. “You’re rad.” he said, clasping it thankfully. I shrugged and we both collapsed on the sofa simultaneously. “Where...is everyone?” he asked after a second, glancing around.

“Oh, Ray took them all to go watch This Wild Life. We absolutely love them.” I explained. “They’ll be back soon, anyway-”

“That’s OK, I preferred it if it was just us.” he interjected. I cleared my throat to hide my awkward pause. It really hadn’t occurred to me that it would be just us - maybe Ray or Adam or Vic or Ben would want to tag along.
“Shall we head out?” he said, breaking me from my reverie.

I looked at him, wide-eyed, and nodded. He stood up and offered me a hand to help me up - I took it automatically. This, I could get used to. His warm hand stayed clasped over mine for a minute longer than necessary, but by no means unwelcome. I didn’t let go either, though - just looked at our hands blankly.
He let go abruptly and was suddenly rearing to go.

“Well, lets go, I’ve got stuff planned.” he insisted. I nodded, stopping only to grab my phone and the cap he gave me. We shut the door to the bus and he glanced at the snapback on my head. “Cool hat. Where’d you get it?”

“Some idiot gave it to me.” I replied, grinning. He laughed and adjusted it for me so he could see my face a little more clearly.

“I think you mean, this one fucking awesome guy with amazing taste in hats.” he corrected. I nodded, rolling my eyes.

“Yeah. That’s what I meant.”

We were careful to avoid the stages and major crowds as Tony didn’t want to attract too much unnecessary attention, but his earlier bunch of groupies didn’t reappear.

“What are we doing, then?” I asked as we left the car park filled with touring buses, musicians and the occasional group of fans. He wrinkled his cute, snub nose and looked at me.

“It’s supposed to be a surprise.” he replied; I groaned dramatically and slouched as we walked. He laughed and threaded an arm around my shoulders, casual, but testing the boundaries: when I didn’t object, he let it stay like that as we continued walking.
“OK, fine!” he conceded, playing along with my melodrama, “I thought we could maybe rent some jetskis seeing as we’re by the sea, then get something to eat and just...hang.”

“That sounds fab, Tone,” I enthused, biting my lip; he smiled excitedly, “except for the fact that I can’t swim.” I grimaced as he looked at me closely to check I wasn’t messing him around. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK,” he chuckled slightly, shrugging it off, “I mean, that’s why we’re hanging out, right? To get to know each other.” His easygoingness and understanding amazed me. “A movie, then?” he suggested. I nodded, smiling.

“Sorry if I messed up your plans.” I apologised as we found ourselves with the beachside boulevard in sight.

“Shut up.” he commanded firmly, “It’s my fault, not yours - I didn’t take that into account.”
He pulled me into his side comfortingly and I wound an arm around his waist: please, god, just let me die here. “I...need...a beer. You need one too?”

“I think someone needs one way more than us.” I chuckled, spying Austin’s figure sat on the all, facing the sea. Tony followed my eyeline and grinned, looking back at me.

“Wanna go and say hi?” he said: I nodded and we headed over, still walking close.
He was completely alone and lost in his own little world. I sat down beside him, and Tony beside me, then nudged him gently. He jumped and turned, looking at us like we’d appeared out of a puff of smoke.

“Hey.” I said quietly.

“Uh…” he seemed befuddled, “what are you doing here?”

“Just hanging out.” Tony replied, smiling sideways at me, then looking back at Austin.

“You OK?” I asked. Austin looked at the two of us for a long moment, lips parted; I knew he wanted to tell us what was wrong, but he was weighing it up in his head - most likely, he was upset over Rayne. I was Ray’s friend, and if he bitched about her, things would get a whole lot worse than they were now.

“No.” he sighed eventually. His shoulders slumped like he had been dying to admit that. “I don’t think so.”
I smiled sympathetically and reached for his hand.

“Well, that’s OK.” I said. “Did you come here to clear your head or something?”

“Yeah, but,” he frowned slightly, “aren’t you gonna ask me what’s wrong?”

“That’s up to you.” I chuckled. “I won’t ask if you don’t wanna tell me.”

“I will,” Tony piped, looking at Austin strangely, “what’s up with you, man? How can you just throw a perfectly good girl like Rayne away? It doesn’t make any fucking sense.” I glanced at Tony and clasped his hand in my other one, willing him to shush; as much as I agreed, Austin had managed to make some kind of sense of this in his head to justify his actions. We needed to understand that, no matter how pissed I was at him for hurting my mate.
He was my friend, too.

“I-I don’t…” he stuttered, looking wounded and defensive. “I know, I just...I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?” I encouraged, squeezing his hand softly. He looked at me, then out to the sandbanks.

“This whole trust thing. This whole relationship-y shit.” he mumbled. “Not after…” He faltered, so I leaned closer for comfort; he looked at the two of us with a sheepish smile.
“There was a girl. I liked her… a lot. Like as soon as I met her. Almost as much as Rayne.” I nodded understandingly and he took a deep breath. “We got together and everything was great. Then...we found out she was pregnant.”

I but my lip and kept quiet. Austin kept quiet too.

“Is it yours?” Tony asked in a hushed tone. Austin nodded numbly.

“Was. She didn’t want to settle down. Didn’t want a kid either.” he continued, shaking his head. “She got rid of it and we broke up.”

“Oh, mate,” I murmured, leaning closer to peck his shoulder, “I’m sorry to hear that.” He shrugged. “But you know Ray’s not like that. What some other bitch did shouldn’t affect your decisions with Ray - she’s better than that.”
He didn’t react.

“How can I trust her, though?” he continued after a moment. “I mean, she ditched me to let some other guys fuck her - and not some random guy - my friend!”
My patience was beginning to run dangerously low with him.

“OK, first of all, you and Rayne weren’t even dating when that fucking happened!” I said curtly. “You don’t own her just because you like her - and, anyway, when she sobered up and realised how much she fucked up, she had the balls to tell you the truth, and you were the one who made the choice to forgive her. And secondly, her and Danny have had heat for a long time - longer than she’s known you - but it’s only ever been physical. They’re way too good friends to screw up what they have, and she likes you way too much.”

I looked at his guilty expression sharply. “If I’m serious, I’ve been wondering whether it’s really about the two of them sleeping together at all - I mean, if it was, you’d be mad at both of them. Since then, I’ve seen you hang out with Danny perfectly fine - you’re both still really close. So why are you avoiding Ray like a friggin’ leper?”

Tony stifled a snort of laughter at what I imagined was my choice of words. “Honestly? You need to have a word with yourself, mate. I love you and all that sappy shit, and I know you’re hurt, but…” I sighed, heart softening again. “Look at it this way: she bought you flowers. Bitch never buys me flowers, and we’ve been married on and off for, like...years. Shitting hell, I don’t even know how long we’ve been married anymore.”
I pulled a face of genuine confusion and both guys laughed.

“So…” he cleared his throat and sat up straighter. “You think I was wrong?”

“To feel the way you did? No, man, they’re your feelings.” I shook my head. “But the way you dealt with it? Yeah. You hurt her unnecessarily, even if she won’t admit it.”

He cringed inwardly, and I shrugged.

“Deal with it, man. Or the problem’s gonna be there all summer.” Tony encouraged. Austin sighed and gave my hand a final squeeze, then let go.

“Yeah, well…” he looked between the two of us. “Sorry for raining on your parade, both of you. What were you doing, anyway?”
He looked at our hands, which were still clasped together and resting on my thigh, then our faces, a shameless grin dawning on his face.

“Hanging out.” I repeated blankly.

“Uh huh.” he said slowly, winking at Tony. I narrowed my eyes at him poisonously.

“No.” said Tony firmly, scowling at Austin.

“Pshh-yeah!” he sniggered, rolling his eyes as Tony flipped him off.

“Bare in mind, that if you go back to the bus and start gossiping like a woman, I still have pictures of you wanking.” I said, smirking; Austin’s face fell and Tony’s lit up. “I’m sure you’d like that less than we’d like unnecessary, untrue rumours, honey.”

“You Brits are ruining my life.” he mumbled, scrambling to his feet and brushing sand off his jeans.

Tony and I did the same, him using the hand he still held to help me up. I let go, if a little reluctantly, and crossed my arms over my chest, smiling at Austin brightly.

“Suck it, Carlile.”