Things Will Never Be the Same

The day went on like it usually did, i got called faggot or gaylord in between classes and slept while in them. when it was finally time for lunch, i almost didn't want to go. besides Casper jerking me into the over-crowded room, my hunger was the onlything preventing me from simply skipping. When we got to his table, i was nervous.
"You know, this is the first time i ever ate lunch with somebody else." i said shyly
"oh, we can go sit with your friends if you want."
"no, i ment this is the first time i sat with someone other than myself."
"you eat lunch alnoe?!! WHY?!?!?" when Casper saw the look in my eyes, the look of embarassment, he apologized. i went to sit next to him, but he said "NOPE!" and pulled me onto his lap. this made me cringe.
"Casper, this is really not helping with the reputation i have." i grunted through my teeth and into his ear.
"which reputation? you have several." he said with a look that made me melt. but i was NOT about to loose this game he was playing.
"The one where i am called faggot, Casper. Now let me go."
"i am afraid i can't do that, you see, you are a very attractive young man." he said in some weird voice that sounded like it came from the weather channel.
"LET ME GO YOU FUCKING FREAK!!" i yelled as i shoved him away. he began crying and ran out of the room. i didn't even go after him.

~TIME LAPS...CASPER'S P.O.V~

The thoughts ran through my head as i abandoned the room, everyone's eyes on me but nobody caring enough to ask what was wrong. i went straight to the restroom to try and calm down, but the opposite happened.
'they don't want you. you know that. why are you even alive you freak. do it. see if they care. we both know they won't...'
"SHUTUP!" i yelled at the voice in my head. this thought has been returning often, and i can't lie anymore. nobody wants me. tears streamed down my face, yet i was oddly calm. it was a cry of defeat. "you win." i said before becoming hysterical.

i left the school and ran to the nearest drug store to buy some liquer and pencil sharpeners. after i bought the wanted objects, i began taking apart the sharpener and eventually got the blade out. drinking the entire bottle of the illeagle beverage, i pressed the blade on my wrist. i was numb, and there was no going back.
as i sliced my pain away, i began to stop crying. after my entire arm was covered in the red stains of misery, i already hated myself for what i had done.
"THEY'RE RIGHT!" i yelled in frustration, throwing the empty glass bottle at the wall of the ally i found myself in. "they're right." i repeated as i leaned again the grimmy walls, sliding back to the ground, hating myself more and more every minute.