Please, Won't You Push Me for the Last Time

~Kellin~

I am so nervous. Vic is supposed to be here any minute for dinner with my family and I just hope we can pull this off. We already discussed a couple things yesterday, but I’m still nervous, what if my parents figure out we’re lying? I’ve only known Vic for two days, and we’ve only talked twice, it would be so obvious.

I’m interrupted from my thoughts by the sound of the doorbell and rush to answer it, finding Vic and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek like we discussed, and showing him to the table where my mom is waiting. My dad comes in with some spaghetti and puts it on the table and I make introductions. Okay, everything is going fine so far. I look over to Vic and smile. He smiles back at me, and this causes my mom to look at us both and exclaim, “You two are an adorable couple! Why haven’t you brought him home yet Kellin?”

“I-I, uh...” I stammered, but luckily it seems she wasn’t really expecting an answer because she turns to question Vic.

“So, Vic, how old are you? Are you a Senior like Kellin? What are you doing after high school?” I roll my eyes at her for being so demanding right away, but Vic doesn’t miss a beat.

“I’m 17, and yeah I’m a Senior, I plan on joining the military after high school, maybe, I don’t know for sure.” He smiles and I raise an eyebrow at him. Really? I mean I knew he was one of them, but I didn’t think he was that into the brainwash thing. Ugh. I try to keep up the cheerful tone though so I smile, as if in pride.

“Wow,” my mom smiles, “you have any hobbies?”

“Well I’m in band at school,” Vic replies to my surprise, “I play guitar a little. Sing sometimes, I’m not nearly as great as Kellin though.” He gives me what I can tell is a genuine smile and I probably blush a little. Why does he like my singing so much? I mean, after the shock factor of hearing my kind of music for the first time I figured he’d let it go and realize I’m just another singer, just like all the other kids who sing at school and just like any boring voice on the radio. I’m nothing special. It’s interesting that he plays guitar though, I didn’t know that.

The rest of dinner is pretty uneventful, and I’d say it all went well. My parents are completely convinced that we’re a great couple and oddly enough, it wasn’t awkward at all pretending to date Vic. I tell my mom Vic and I are going to go for a walk before I walk him home and she tells me to mind the curfew and be back well before 10. I agree and Vic and I start walking.

“That went well.” I say awkwardly.

“It did.” Vic replies quietly, “where are we going? Back to that room?” He looks hopeful, like he really wants to see it again, and that makes me smile.

“Yeah. I wanna talk to you about something.” I say.

~Vic~

I don’t know what Kellin wants to talk to me about or why, but it seems like he always leads these conversations and I am determined to get some answers from him tonight too. I want to know how he does it, how he defies everything he was raised with, and whether he prefers it like that. I want to know how he found out about all these things and whether there’s any hope for the world to have music like his again. I need him to help me sort out all my thoughts because two days ago I was so sure about everything. I had my future and my beliefs and dreams all sorted out, and then this boy just ran into me and messed all of that up and now I don’t know anything anymore.

What’s worse is I think I’m actually starting to have a crush on him. I gave that a lot of thought yesterday, and there’s just something about him that keeps me wanting to know more. I mean, I think that might be why I decided to follow him in the first place. I was up half the night thinking about him, and I’ve never stayed up late like that before. But does this pretending to date thing mean we can’t really date?

Kellin and I don’t speak until we are through the tunnel and inside the small room. I decide to let him talk first. “So what did you wanna talk about?” I ask him, sitting down.

“You said at dinner that you sing. And play guitar. Is that true?” He asks quickly.

“Yeah... In school I mean... I can’t do anything like... like you.” I respond, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed. I know I could never compare to what I heard him singing, it’s mostly just a hobby. At school they said I have potential but I was always so set on joining the military I never really took it seriously.

“Sing. Now.” Kellin demanded, but I don’t want to, I’m not good like him. So I decide this might be a good opportunity to bring up some questions for him.

“No,” I snap back, which for some reason makes him smile, “I want to know some more things first.” He gestures me to go on. I point down at the other tunnel, the one directly across from where we came in. “What happens if you keep going?”

“I don’t know.” Kellin says simply, looking at it, “after I found this place I didn’t really bother going any further. I figured I’d wait until I’d finished everything here and besides that I, well, I’m not entirely comfortable with closed spaces like this.” He looks down shyly, this only brings up more questions, but I’m determined not to leave confused again.

“Then how did you find this place?” I ask.

“I’ll tell you that some other time. Maybe.” He says looking down. This actually kind of makes me angry. I’m helping him after all, he should tell me the answers to things. Then again I guess it is kind of personal.

“Fine.” I snap, “then just tell me more about what it was like before the cures. How do you make music like you do? How do you make pictures like the ones in here?” He smiles at my annoyed tone, which just annoys me even more. “Why do you keep smiling at me like that?” I ask.

“You’re cute when you’re irritated,” he shrugs, still smiling. I have no idea how to respond to that, but apparently I don’t have to, because just after he says that, he leans over and kisses me.