Kian

BEASLEY’S SUMMER FESTIVAL is and will be my favorite festival. Growing up, I always fell in love with the good ol’ theme, eating contests, and of course, the games.

The Summer Festival commemorates the end of summer, gathering the town of Beasley for some laughs, good food, and friendly competition.

The contests are hosted by the people of Beasley. I see Sid Olsen preparing a hot dog eating contest, Eugene Yoon preparing a doughnut eating contest, and Dale is preparing the town’s annual find the most nuts in a branch of honey contest. The last one’s a mouth full.

Every summer, there’ll be a theme. One summer, it was cherry themed. Last summer, the theme was cinnamon. This summer, the theme is honey pecan. Everything sweet and savory is blooming with honey, roasted pecans and everything in between.

Games are intense at Beasley. Darvis is hosting his annual ring toss booth. My parents will host a dart and balloon popping booth. Kasey Yoon is hosting a small bowling booth, courtesy of Tuck’s Bowling Alley.

Beasley is full of competitive people. When it comes to the Summer Festival games, people are 110% more competitive because of the prizes. Prizes are donated by our neighbors and friends. The Grand Prize is usually what gets people excited (it's probably a TV like usual).

With my back facing the main entrance of the Festival, I feel a hand hold my shoulders as another hand tucks me into a hug. Matthias and Eunica smile at me, hugging me tightly.

We all laugh and smile, cracking jokes, like old times. Walking into the Festival, we make our way towards Adalyn’s booth. We order a couple doughnuts and lemonades.

While waiting for our drinks, Adalyn whispers under her breath, “Oh, there's Jonathan now.” And despite her speaking lowly, we all manage to hear her.

Together, we all freeze. We all spot Jonathan walking towards a game booth. Swaying left and right, he has a bounce to his walk. With his hands rested on his sides, he gracefully looks ahead of him, making his way into the Festival.

Matthias and Eunica doesn't say anything at first, probably thinking of not mentioning him, for my sake.

“I think Jonathan and I are okay,” I admit, tucking my hands into my pockets.

“Oh,” Matthias hums. “That's–oh.”

Eunica laughs, hitting his arm. “Wrong reaction.”

Matthias apologetically looks at me. “B, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I meant that in a surprising way.”

Eunica snorts. “Wrong answer. Oh, Matt, stop talking.”

We burst out laughing.

“Yeah, I think being friends will be what’s best right now,” I explain. I lower my voice, saying, “We’re hanging out.”

Euncia and Matthias look at me closely with their mouths wide open. I can’t help but laugh.

With Adalyn giving our lemonades, we thank her. Matthias and Eunica smile with satisfaction, thanking Adalyn again for the cold drink.

Sipping on the pink and white straw, I hear someone’s hoarse voice ask, “Is it good?”

While lifting my eyes, I see Kian standing in front of me. He's leaning against the table, tilting his head to the side.

“Do you like it?” he whispers, showing off a small smile.

I don't say anything. Matthias and Eunica step back. I take another sip of the pink lemonade, remaining silent.

We stare at each other for a second. Kian trails his eyes over my face, slowly parting his lips. The same silver ring hangs on his lower lip.

That makes me think of the first day I saw him–Kian gave me a small but cheeky smile while telling me the specials at Bake n’ Roll. He made jokes which made Adalyn annoyed.

I thought that was the last I’d see of Kian. But then, I saw Kian riding through the bike trail behind the high school. It looked like he was having the time of his life. Later I found out he loved to bike.

Then I saw Kian at the Bee Festival. He was helping out Adalyn's booth, making his first ever cup of lemonade. Colton loved it. A lot. I thought Kian put too much sugar in the lemonade. Thinking about that, I could just taste how sweet he made it.

Then I saw him at dinner at the Olsen’s. He was mostly quiet. Shy. And I thought it was cute.

Then he helped my parents and I hold our groceries back home the day our car was in the shop. He walked with us and it made my chest swell. Mom later invited him to dinner and he politely accepted. He came over and my parents adored him. That night, I almost kissed him.

Then we had our first date at Yakiniku BBQ House. He barely knew a thing about Korean cuisine and he wasn't afraid to admit it. At the end of the date, we planned to watch Stranger Things together.

Kian started to trust me. And it was nice. One night he'd ask me to help find his cousin. That night, Jonathan kissed me and I no longer felt the same.

Time distanced ourselves.

And it sucks.

I miss texting Kian about Stranger Things. I miss seeing his face light up when he saw my brother. I miss seeing him ride his bike across town with a wide smile on his face. I miss seeing him at the bakery, feeling the butterflies flutter their wings in my stomach.

But over everything, I miss the friendship we were forming.

It just sucks.

Swallowing, I whisper, “It actually has taste for once.”

With the hand without a glove, Kian scratches the back of his neck and shows off a small smile. “Ahh, success.”

I look over Kian and he’s hunching his back slightly while giving me a soft stare. I don’t know what else to do but stare back at him too.

Awkwardly, Kian asks, “Are you parents here?”

I nod. “They're on their way from picking Colton up from swim practice.”

He nods, remaining silent.

“I saw you riding your bike the other week,” I bring up. I continue to stare at him. Now, unsure why I mention it. I add, “Looks like you found a biking buddy.”

He doesn’t say anything, and really now, I’m wondering if I should’ve just not said a word about it.

Kian’s looking past me. He stops leaning adjust the table, straightening his back.

I turn around and follow Kian’s gaze. We both spot Jonathan a few feet away from us.

Jonathan’s rocking back and forth, swaying a bit where he stands. Jonathan and I meet eyes for a second before he lowers his head.

Kian draws in a long breath before blowing out his cheeks. Jerking his head in Jonathan’s direction, Kian whispers, “I think John wants to talk to you.”

And that’s when I knew Kian and I will have a hard time going back to normal. We don’t know where we stand and because of that, going back as friends won’t be the same.

Before turning around, Matthias and Eunica both tell me they'll be walking around near the game booths. Eunica gives me a small smile and wink, almost as if she's saying good luck.

Shuffling away from Kian, I walk towards Jonathan.

Jonathan is dressed in a dark blue shirt and black jeans. His golden hair is combed neatly, only being ruined by the wind.

He’s lowering his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets. I bite down on my bottom lip, running a hand through my hair.

“Did you eat?” Jonathan softly asks.

I tilt my head to the side and grin, “Again, I usually ask that question.”

“A full stomach is a happy stomach,” Jonathan answers quickly as he removes the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. He places it near the top of his head.

“I mean,” he laughs, “if you want, I can get you a hot dog or something.”

I can't take my eyes off Jonathan. Staring at him, my eyes start to burn because of the fire sparkling in the center of his eyes. Or it could've been the sun.

Jonathan keeps a reasonable amount of space between us as he shifts his feet.

He raises an eyebrow. “So,” he says as his eyes light up. He looks around us, saying, “What should I do first?”

I cannot help but let out a laugh.

Jonathan stares at his hands, slowly biting his bottom lip. His eyes are wide, but he spoke in the same soft voice. “Should I check out Dale’s booth first or is there some type of system?”

I smile.

“Is this your first time at the Summer Festival?”

He nods.

“You have a lot to learn.”

“Or we could just walk around?” he says softly, smiling. “I can win you something or buy you food–”

“This isn't the date, right?” I jokingly say. “If it is, you should’ve told me. I would’ve worn something nice.”

Jonathan fixes his eyes on me, not saying a word.

“You did say you'd take me on a picnic date thing or whatever,” I chuckle, “When's that going to happen?”

He grins. His eyes shift to the side, looking away from me while playing with his fingernails.

Jonathan's head is bent down once he speaks again. “Do you believe in fate?” he whispers.

I raise an eyebrow at him.

He looks at me carefully and says, “There’s a saying my mom always told me.” I slowly nod and listen to him continue, “Doing the right thing, in the right way, at the right time, in the right place, to the right person, for the right reason, with the right feeling, for the first time.”

I'm silent.

Jonathan continues, “It’s a mouthful, I know. But I think that night I got beaten up,” his forehead creases, “when you talked to me and I was all moody–I believe that it was some sign that we were supposed meet that way. It may not have been an ideal way but it felt like I was in the right place with the right person.”

Jonathan brings his hands out of his pockets and tries to cup my own hands. He hears me gasp. He inches closer to me, tightening his grip. I can feel his warm breath hit my face.

He raises a hand and cups my chin. “And right now, I think you're feeling exactly what I'm feeling.”

I slowly open my mouth, yet no words roll off my tongue.

“Jonathan–” I try to say, but he interrupts me quickly.

“The kiss we shared,” Jonathan whispers, “convinced me that I am wanted in this world.”

I drop my eyes from his, fighting back a response.

“The kiss you gave me,” Jonathan says, “told me exactly how you felt, too.”

I lift an eyebrow. “How do you think I felt?”

Jonathan coughs, lightly squeezing my hands before smiling. “You felt loved for the first time.”

I want to scorn and tell him he is wrong but part of me doesn't. Instead, a part of me wants to kiss him again.

“You're staring at me,” Jonathan whispers.

“You're staring at me, too.”

Jonathan smiles, lowering his head. I trail my eyes over his face. He slowly bats his eyelashes as if time is slowing down. Staring at him closely, I see the familiar faint color of green in his pupils. His eyes are filled with happiness and confidence but there's a hint of vulnerability mixed with pain. But all that vulnerability and pain is temporary in his life.

But the more Jonathan combines his heart and soul, he becomes beautifully dangerous. He’s finally recognized as something great; his presence starts to demand attention.

Did I like Jonathan?

Out loud, I deny that I do.

But the truth is, I am slowing falling for Jonathan Olsen.