Caged Birds Don't Like to Sing

A gentle finger stroked my cheek. I relaxed at the soft sensation and tried to fall back asleep. Then reality struck in, as it always did. Who could be petting my face? The one and only....

I opened my eyes. Jackson was laying in front of me. I recoiled, taken aback, even though I knew it was going to be him. His facial expression didn’t change. It was calm and neutral, only his eyes moved as they wandered up and down my face.

“You’ve got to stop popping up out of nowhere,” I murmured, sinking back into the pillows. My voice seemed harsh, but I was relieved he was here. He came out of thin air whenever I least expected it. His stealthy way of living surprised me every time. Especially after a fight.

“Sorry,” he whispered, still seeming impartial. His fingers continued petting my face once I was close again. I couldn’t tell if he was apologizing for everything or only popping up.

The sun was shining in through the window beautifully, like a good omen showing that today things would change. It instantly calmed me. It had to be a little later into the morning because of how the sun was coming in.

I looked back at him, trying my hardest to read his empty expression. He was under the covers as well. How long has he been in here? I kept scrutinizing his face. He must have noticed my anxiousness at that moment.

“I was thinking about you all of yesterday,” he admitted glumly. It felt better to know that he wasn’t too bitter anymore. “I did overreact. I was just worried about you. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” I said sheepishly and ashamed. But giddy on the inside that the argument was coming to a close.

His hand cupped my chin and pulled me closer. It took him a moment before his lips slowly edged towards mine before touching. It made everything feel a lot better. All my awful feelings flooded away. Maybe this was meant to be. It was an easy fix up. We both just let our emotions get to us the other night.

When he pulled away, he said, “We’ll do something special tonight. I’ll make it up to you.”

“No,” I insisted sincerely. “You don’t have to make anything up to me. It’s fine.” I honestly felt bad about it still. I felt like I should be making it up to him.

“C’mon, I want to.” he persuades, more exited this time. “We do need at least one good date before the big day.”

I grimaced at the words ‘big day.’ He chuckled lightly. Patting then rubbing my back gingerly, he said, “It will be fine.”

“I hope so.”

“You’re getting married, it’s not like it’s going to be anything excruciatingly painful,” he said, sitting up. He reached over and took a sip from a mug. He must have already woke up and just came in here. He handed the coffee over to me. Sitting up as well, I took a small sip. I coughed and Jackson laughed, taking back the mug.

“Needs more creamer,” I said, disgusted and still coughing from the bitterness. I love my coffee with the cup already filled halfway up with cream flavors like vanilla or caramel or something at least. “How do you drink that?”

“It’s just the way I like it,” he grinned, taking another sip. I almost gagged at the sight. It was the blackest coffee I had ever tasted. That was how my mom used to drink it, too. But we never had creamer in the house so I resorted to going elsewhere.

After a few minutes had past, Jackson looked over at me again. He slung his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “And it’s not like I’m that bad of a guy.”

“I guess,” I said teasingly, laying my head on his shoulder. He looked down at me, pretending to be hurt. “Nah, you’re at least decent,” I mocked again with a laugh. He set the coffee mug down.

“You know you love me,” he sang, pushing his lips back onto mine. I smiled into the kiss and pecked him twice, then pulled back.

“So where are we going tonight, Jay?” I hopped off of the bed and motioned for him to get up. He obeyed and I shook out the blankets and started folding them up to make the bed. Jackson helped with the side that he was on. I usually never made the bed, but I felt like tidying up a bit.

“I’m still thinking.” He folded the sheets over the comforter and started to fluff the pillows. “I’ll come up with something good.”

“Jackson, you don’t need anything over the top,” I urged. I’d hate to do anything painfully fancy.

“I want to, though,” he whined, rushing over to my side. He wrapped his arms around my waist. Batting his eyelashes, he said, “Pretty please? For me?”

I narrowed and rolled my eyes. But I couldn’t deny him. Especially with that big smile. It got me every time. I giggled and grinned back. “Oh, alright.”

“Yippie!” he snickered and lifted me up. He tossed me onto the bed.

“I just made the bed,” I bellyached. I quickly started to get off, but it just messed up the sheets even more. I groaned.

“We,” he corrected. Then purred, “And we can just make it again. Later.”

He pounced on top of me and I made an ‘oof’ noise. Then insulted teasingly, “You’re fat!”

He pouted out his lower lip. “If you keep doing that I’m going to cut your lip off someday,” I laughed, taking my fingers and pinching his lips lightly.

“I’m not fat though!” he cried, poking my nose. I winced.

I cooed like I was talking to a baby, “Of course you’re not,” I laughed after that and he poked the side of my belly.

I made a noise from the disturbance and he took a grasp on lower back and arched me up. I slung my hands around his lower waist and giggled as he nibbled down my neck. He started tickling my sides quickly. I shrieked and clenched up, laughing like crazy now. He was giggling at my reaction. I was always way too ticklish.

I rolled around on my back and tried to cover my stomach from his hands. When he finally stopped, he rolled over beside me. His fingers traced down my hairline, along my jawline, to my chin.

“How’s your cut?” he asked in a whisper. A small smile was still on his face.

“It’s getting a little better,” I said nonchalantly. I didn’t want to muck up our light and airy moment with this.

This time I rolled over on him. I bent my arms at the elbow and laid them on both sides of his body. I pushed the loose hair on my face behind my ears. I was barely hovering above him on all fours. I fervently pressed my lips to his. I felt his hands run down my back before he moved again so I was under him.

“Of course,” I muttered. Jackson always had to feel like he was in control of every situation.

He smiled lasciviously, his hands rubbed my thighs. His soft lips ran along mine, barely grazing them. He tried to press them down, put I pushed my head further back into the pillows. He opened his eyes and looked at me, confused.

“It’s not even noon, Jackson.” I complained. “We have all day.”

“And night,” he added in perversely.

“Wouldn’t it just be better if we waited until we were married?” I smoothed over, sliding out from under him.

He made a scoffing noise. “Yeah, but then it’s just going to hurt for you. We can just make it a little less painful for the next time, after we’re married.”

I just wanted to push this concept as far away into the future as possible. “Uh, yeah. But it will just be better after. Please.”

“I thought you said you weren’t against premarital sex?” he recalled, raising an eyebrow. He crossed his legs smugly as if he had won with that comment.

“Well,” I said, sitting up. “Now I am. And it’s only a few days. You can wait, can’t you?”

“I guess,” he grumbled.

“Good. Well, find out where we’re going tonight.” I danced over to the dresser to grab an outfit to change into after I showered.

“It’s going to be somewhere fancy,” he teasingly threatened. Even though it didn’t sound like a normal threat. But it was a threat to me. I let out a sigh.

“Come on!” I begged.

“Nope. If it can’t go my way, it can’t go yours either.”

I crossed my arms and leaned against the dresser. “You’re threatening a fancy dinner because I won’t have sex with you?” I laughed at the thought. Most girls would be fine with this. I wasn’t one for dressing up or getting a lot of attention.

“It seems as if I am,” he said mysteriously, but with a grin. He loved messing with me.

I groaned again. “Fine.”

I walked over to the bed and sat on top of him. He was smiling broadly when I slid my hand up and under his shirt. He reached his head up to kiss me. I pulled away a little and pecked his cheek, letting go of his shirt. I hopped off. “I’ll go out to dinner.”

He pouted his lip again. I made scissor motions with my index and middle finger and made a slicing noise with my mouth. “I’m going to shower,” I said as I skipped out of the room.

“Where are we going?” I asked, staring out the car window. Once again, the area wasn’t familiar. We weren’t going to the Monkey House this time. Nor that little restaurant we went to before. Jackson said it was going to be nice and fancy. He even made me wear some dress he had got that afternoon. It was romantic until I remembered I had to wear it. Gag.

“It’s just a little farther,” Jackson mentioned. He always ignores my questions and answers them in an indirect way. It made me mad.

However he was right. We were there within the next five minutes. The building was tall and dark. Only a few lights illuminated around the building, making it seem larger and more intimidating. The lettering on the front was in such a fancy font of cursive, I couldn’t read it. Then again, I think it was in another language.

“So this is it,” I muttered, getting out of the car. A cold wind blew and I tightly grabbed the bottom of my dress to keep it down. My freshly shaved legs grew goosebumps.

Jackson walked over to my side of the car and grabbed my hand. He helped me hop down even though it was a small drop. I was in heels and it could have been a huge disaster. I can barely even walk in them. I never found it necessary to learn how.

“Yep,” Jackson said, his hand still in mine. The way he walked swayed our hands swayed lightly as we walked. I tried to keep it still so we didn’t look like some crazy couple that had to be flamboyant twenty-four-seven. He noticed my stiffness and with more force, made our hands fly back and forth. Thanks for that, Jackson.

He let go of my hand to open the door for me. I smiled and walked in first. This was all too much for me. I had a feeling I was blushing. Thankfully the lighting in the restaurant was dimmed down.

“Two, please,” Jackson said to the worker who was at the front podium. She nodded and swiftly snatched up two menus and led us to a table.

Our table was in the back corner. It seemed pretty isolated. I had a feeling that Jackson did this on purpose. Paid extra to make it even more fancy and romantic. Just the way I hated it. I didn’t once think he enjoyed this.

I sat down across the table from him. He was smiling and thoughtfully gazing at me. “Quit it,” I mumbled. I tried to keep my voice as low as possible. Talking seemed to disrupt the ambiance. Even though there were other couples out in the main area of tables. They seemed to keep to themselves more. They shot glares over at the both of us. Part of me assumed it was because this place was awfully expensive and we got the best seat off in the back. The other half, the half that is usually right, assumed it was because both Jackson and I looked out of place. Him with his still messy hair and me wobbling in on heels. It didn’t make sense. We looked mediocre compared to them. Him being famous or not.

“It’s funny to see you all dolled up,” Jackson admitted with a small chuckle. I almost wanted to shush him for talking because of all the looks across the room. But on the same note, I didn’t care.

I rolled my eyes. I doubt he could even see it though, that’s how dark it was. “I know. It’s weird looking in the mirror. I mean, me in heels? Who would have thought?”

Jackson laughed again under his breath. “I didn’t mean it like that. You look beautiful.”

“Shut up.”

I looked up at the waitress when she made an ‘ahem.’ She had a fake smile over her lips and seemed as if she hated her job. “I’d hate to interrupt, but can I get you anything to drink?” I assumed she just wanted both of us to get out. This place was only meant for the snooty, rich people.

“Yes, can I have a water?” I asked politely. She nodded and looked over to Jackson. I kicked him lightly under the table. He glared at me before answering.

“I’ll have - a water as well.” He looked over at me as he said the last part. I smiled in victory.

Once the waitress left and came back with our waters, I thanked her and she took our orders. Then she was off again. She didn’t spend any time around us. Jackson took a sip of his water and fake-smiled at me.

“Isn’t it so much more refreshing?” I giggled wryly.

“It’s not that I don’t like water,” he started to say. “But I’m out at home. Can I at least get one drink?”

“Are you planning on driving home?”

“Yeah.”

“Then no.” I smiled and leaned back in the chair. He scowled. I half-smiled as I said, “Ah, ah, ah. Not now. Let’s leave this night on a good note.” He took another sip of water.

“See now, isn’t this better?” I cooed, motioning towards the water.

He scoffed teasingly and laughed. “Sure.” I leaned over the table and he met me, kissing me softly and quickly. “There. Now it is.”

I blushed, but once again it was not noticeable.

He seemed to be shy about something as well. He smiled to the side and bit on his lip. I didn’t know how to react to his expression, but it made me grin. Something about his smile always instantly changed my emotions in the best way possible.

“What?” I finally asked, still in a soft voice. Jackson looked up. He took a deep breath. “What?” I repeated.

“I--” he started to say. But he was cut off from the waitress setting food down on the table.

I looked at it and played with it with my fork before taking an actual bite. Then I played with it some more. I felt a little nauseous because I didn’t know what Jackson was about to say. Damn nerves always got in the way. I kept expecting the worst.

I watched Jackson as he took a bite from his own plate. He looking down while chewing, but then he noticed me staring. He chewed slower in a confused way. “What?” he asked after he swallowed.

‘What’ is like the word of the night. “Are you going to say whatever you wanted to before?”

“Oh,” he recalled, seeming tense again. But it faded when he looked at me longingly for a second. I didn’t understand.

“I know you wanted this to be as informal as possible because you hated the idea almost as much as you hated me,” he started in a speech like way. He smiled a bit at the end part, knowing that I don’t hate him (as much) anymore. He still managed to get under my skin. But that’s just him. And I love him for it. Yes, love.

I blinked a few times within his short pause. I wanted him to spit it out already.

“But I felt like there was one tradition we needed to keep, besides the wedding.” He pulled out a small box and slid it my way. With shake-y hands, I picked it up in my left hand and opened it with my right. “I had a feeling you didn’t want to be over the top, so I didn’t get on one knee.”

I looked at the beautiful, glistening ring, then back at Jackson. I smiled so wide that I thought my cheeks were going to cramp and get stuck that way. I giggled slightly out of happiness and some embarrassment. Needless to say, I got embarrassed at everything. “Will you marry me, Marissa? Not because we have to, because we want to.”

I nodded wildly and got up out of my chair. He did the same and we embraced tightly.

I was up against Jackson as he fiddled with the front door’s knob behind him. I was kissing and nibbling at his neck as he tried to find the knob and open the door. Once he did we spilled inside the house. He spun around and pushed me against the wall adjacent to the wall with the door.

He brought his lips up to mine and kissed me in an untamed way. I took my arms around his shoulders and my fingers ran through his hair. His stubble around his mouth and jawline rubbed against my face. I was almost used to it now.

His hands started to glide from my lower thigh to my upper thigh. His cold fingers took a tight hold and hoisted my leg up around his waist. I moved the other up. I was pressed against the wall so hard that I was still in the air, even though his hands barely had a hold on me.

The lights flicked on from the other room. Jackson and I looked up, not moving. The sides of our faces were still pressed together.

Ben G. and Jerad walked in, looking at us weirdly. “I take it you guys stopped bickering,” Jerad says with a mischievous smile.

Jackson pulled away, forgetting that he was my support. I fell to the group and hit my head against the wall several times on the way down. Jackson gasped and crouched down.

“Thanks,” I muttered, rubbing the back of my head. I quickly crossed my legs because I was in a dress.

Jackson helped me up. As he did so, he asked, “What are you guys here?”

“Just to watch you get some action,” Ben said with a laugh. Jackson pursed his lips and made an annoyed face at him.

Jerad pointed to the other room which led to the basement. “We’re all here in the basement. We had a band session, remember?” He paused for a minute, looking at the both of us. “Of course you don’t.”

Jackson put his hand to his forehead and ran it down his face. “Sorry. It slipped my mind completely.” He turned toward me. “I’ll be upstairs later. I’ll be quiet so I don’t wake you up.”

I nodded. I was exhausted and excited to be back in Jackson’s room. I passed the guys in the hallway. They made kissing noises at me. I turned around. “Hey! It’s not like you’ve never kissed someone.” Before I started walking around, I said, “And at least he’s getting some action.” I quoted them.

“I have a wife!” Jerad mentioned.

I stuck out my tongue. “Old wife sex.”

“You’re getting married, remember?” After he said so, he sighed. “I missed honeymoon phase sex.”

“I didn’t even bring up sex!” I called as I walked into the family room and up the steps.

After I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I went back into my room and grabbed a pair of pajamas. I slid off the dress so it was around my ankles. I kicked it across the room and put on my comfy clothing. “Better,” I sighed to myself.

I was drifting to sleep when I heard some music playing off in the distance. It wasn’t overbearingly loud, either. Jackson had every instrument known to man, so they could jam for hours. It felt like I had my own personal band to play music for me to sleep to.