Caged Birds Don't Like to Sing - Comments

Comment Swap lead me to this story..... The layout is to die for, so cute. I read a few chapters and you are a really talented writer. I did feel overwhelmed with all the dialog actions so to speak so maybe use less of that. Also not a huge fan of the arranged marriage but I will have to read some more to see how it fits in with the rest of the story. I do however like that the main character is sarcastic! It adds a certain attitude, I guess would be the most appropriate word, to the story.Excellent grammar and detail. Keep it up and I will be sure to finish reading this at some point in my busy schedule :D

Comment swap:
So I read the first two chapters just to get a bit of a feel for your writing. When I first started reading this story I thought I wouldn't like it because of the way you wrote it; unnecessary detail, too many descriptive words. These are things to definitely watch out for because instead of making your story interesting to the reader it just weighs it down and makes it boring. But that aside as I continued to read I started to enjoy it more! You seem to have a good feel on the mechanics of writing but I think you should spend a little more time on your characters and their dialogue. A lot of it didn't really seem real to me, it wasn't believable. It wasn't bad so to say but I didn't really connect me to the characters. I didn't feel connected at all with your main character Marissa. I feel like if you spent more time discussing who she is as a person, not exactly how she feels right here right now, she will really come alive. Maybe talk about past memories with her parents to really help paint a picture of resentment.
Over all though I like the plot of the story and I think if you make your characters more believable it will really contribute to the plot and make it stellar! You have a really good idea going, a great layout, and interesting chapter titles! Good work and good luck!

Comment swap brought me here, I really like the layout and the title. oh I love the title. I've only read the first few chapters but I'm already completely absorbed in your story. I've subscribed and recommended and will definitely be reading more!

Your chapters are a little lengthy, however, that's just my opinion, I don't really like lengthy chapters, concentration issues, sorry.

You seem like you're a really great writer so I'm just going to give you a bit of constructive criticism! At the end of all your dialogue tags, you use something like "cried", "stammered", "exclaimed", etc., which is great because said gets to be old sometimes, but you do it a little too much. When it's every line of dialogue, it's sort of like an overload and interrupts the story. Said is so common that when people see it, they just blank it out, but since you use a different tag every time, it interrupts the dialogue and sort of bogs it down. And there's also the overuse of adjectives in the dialogue tags like "smoothly", "teasingly", "smugly". Sometimes with those things, less as more, as it just sorts of bogs everything down and makes the story seem a little more novice than it actually is. Other than that, I think the story is great though!

I like this story a lot!
I think the only thing I didn't like was the action scene...where Ben and Riley are trying to kill them? It was just a little muddled and kind of hard to follow, and also pretty unrealistic. But that's the only problem I have with this haha other than that I love it! Keep writing:)

Comment swap,

First off let me say, I’m writing this comment with only the knowledge of the first two chapters.

Secondly, the arranged marriage plot is not my favorite,

I find it’s been a little exhausted over the past few years that said, you write wonderfully and it makes the story very interesting.

I find her parents’ attitude and extreme rushing of the situation a little unbelievable, but as I said I’ve only read the first two chapters so there could easily be some plot reason that I’m not privy to.

I like the main character, she’s snarky and sarcastic which tend to be my favorite character traits.

I really enjoy that Jackson isn’t super full of himself and believing that everyone should be in love with him, it’s refreshing to have a love interest with some humbleness.

I will actually continue to read this, I’m very interested in what plot twists/ drama will arise with the characters.

You have great grammar and detail and it really takes the story to a whole new level so you can enjoy the story even if you’re someone like me, who didn’t know who Jackson Rathbone was without googling him.

Keep up the great work, you’ve made a fan out of me.

comment swap

i'm not a very big fan of jackson rathbone, but he is quite lovely to stare at so i kind of lost myself in the banner picture for a while.

i think you have a very intricate writing style and it's not too description or anything of that sort that normally weighs heavily upon a reader. the layout is simple (though the white background hurts my eyes, but that's just me) and i think it goes pretty well with the story.

the title, to me, is a bit long, but it somehow catches a reader's eye.

anyway, good luck on this & i can tell it will get some pretty good reviews overall.

comment swap

i'm not a very big fan of jackson rathbone, but he is quite lovely to stare at so i kind of lost myself in the banner picture for a while.

i think you have a very intricate writing style and it's not too description or anything of that sort that normally weighs heavily upon a reader. the layout is simple (though the white background hurts my eyes, but that's just me) and i think it goes pretty well with the story.

the title, to me, is a bit long, but it somehow catches a reader's eye.

anyway, good luck on this & i can tell it will get some pretty good reviews overall.

Oh god, I can't handle this!

First of all I'd like to say you're a pretty good writer. Your style is very easy to read and isn't overly descriptive. I like the layout a lot, it's super pretty and I think the title is really good too! Definitely helps to lure you in I think. The only thing I don't like is the summary (both long and short) I don't like it when people just stick lyrics or poems in there instead of an actual story summary. I prefer to know what I'm getting into before I read it and that puts me off. Again, this is just a personal preference of mine, not technically a bad thing but it might get you more readers if you work on a good summary. But over all it's very good!

Superb story!!!!!!

Superb story!!!!!!

My goodness are you a fantastic writer!! You write with such an eloquent aspect it makes me feel like I am Marissa herself. Your layout is so simply perfect I can't help but fall deeper and deeper into the story. I feel like if I saw Chase or Riley in real life I'd about punch them in the face ;D Your character development is subtle and intriguing, it's not in your face and annoying, and I love that about this story. And omg when he said.... those..... three.... words..... are you like secretly a professional writer trying to elude the literature fame or something ahahaha :)

God Bless!!

xoxo

Olivia

I really enjoyed this!

I really enjoy your layout, and I really like your writing style. It's very realistic and I feel like I'm in the story. I'm not a big fan of present day arranged marriage stories, just because the idea seems a bit weird too me, but that doesn't make your writing any less great. I like how you set up your characters and their relationships in a way that really progresses the story. Keep going with your idea and continue writing.

comment swap

Oh god I really hate Riley and Chase! I can't wait for the next chapter though, update soon!

I really like your story! Update soon, please?

Comment Swap
I really like this one so far, and I'm only on chapter 2. Her friend is a b*tch though. Hopefully she gets new friends. Just sayin. I usually don't go past chapter 1 for comment swaps, but I want you to know I am subscribing.

Comment Swap
I really like this one so far, and I'm only on chapter 2. Her friend is a b*tch though. Hopefully she gets new friends. Just sayin. I usually don't go past chapter 1 for comment swaps, but I want you to know I am subscribing.

Comment Swap
I really like this one so far, and I'm only on chapter 2. Her friend is a b*tch though. Hopefully she gets new friends. Just sayin. I usually don't go past chapter 1 for comment swaps, but I want you to know I am subscribing.